


Flutter

by daisygrass



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Jealousy, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Karasuno, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Timeskip, brief college/university au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 111,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisygrass/pseuds/daisygrass
Summary: Kageyama Tobio is lonely, until he’s not.(Or: A budding friendship, where change is inevitable.)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 187
Kudos: 119





	1. Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama’s routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *update: hi! so looking back on this fic, it lowkey makes me cringe reading over these first few chapters. i realize my writing may not be the best, but i swear it gets better later on. i was very unsure of myself initially because i’ve never written a fanfic for haikyuu before, so it may seem a little awkward at first. i promise it’s improved since then, especially in the later chapters. i feel much more comfortable with my writing now, and i feel as though it’s something i can be proud of. i owe that to my kind readers who have encouraged me. anyway, i’m basically just saying pls give my tiny fic a chance and see how these boys develop. i love their bond so much and i just wanted to dedicate something to them. <3 - daisy*

Kageyama Tobio is practical. He sets a routine and follows it, which requires consistency and discipline on his part. He goes to bed early and wakes up at 6 am for his morning run. He goes to morning practice, followed by classes, and then lunch by himself in the courtyard. Afternoon practice is mostly the same. He runs drills with the team, practices his serves, sets for Hinata (probably more than he’d like to), and then walks home by himself. His days are quiet. They’re calm.

When he’s feeling energetic, he’ll indulge in extra practice with Hinata, but in the end, he finds himself wandering home alone like clockwork.

It’s not that he feels lonely per say, but he feels slightly empty. His days meld together and at times, it feels like an endless cycle. Each day is monotonous, and he feels as though life around him is simply quiet and still. Kageyama accepts this. If leading a boring life will lead him to his goals then he can live with that. For him, high school is just a stepping stone for greater things.

During lunch, he’ll watch as other students in his class chat and laugh at random jokes. He watches them gossip about confessions and giggle over petty drama. When he gets sick of it, he’ll opt for staring out of the window. Kageyama has never really understood why people are so invested in crushes and even friendships. To him, it only serves as a distraction. 

He thinks back to his own “friends” from middle school, and how they scorned him for being too overbearing. They shut him out but again, Kageyama Tobio is practical. He follows his routine and strives to meet his goals. He’s determined to climb higher in volleyball and reach the peak. That’s who he is. He doesn’t need people. He doesn’t need anyone by his side to succeed. He doesn’t need friends. Sure, it would be nice to sit around and share his food with someone or talk about last night’s pro volleyball game, but he doesn’t _need_ it. Yet, he can’t help the lingering emptiness that fills him. 

Other times, he’ll watch the third years get changed in the club room and walk home together. They’re all bright smiles and booming laughter. He overhears them discussing cram classes to prepare for college entrance exams and weekend plans. The taller boy lags behind them and slowly changes his clothes. He’ll wait until only a few people are left in the room before beginning his trek home.

Most nights he walks in silence. He thinks about hand signals and plays. If that’s not enough, he’ll listen to music, but other nights those lonely thoughts leach into his brain. He imagines what it’s like to spend the weekend with something other than a volleyball in his room. 

One night, after a practice that had gone longer than expected, Kageyama finds himself leaving the club room by himself again. He was about to walk past the gates of the school when he hears an obnoxious voice screaming after him.

“KAGEYAMAA!” It reverberates through the air. He whips his head around to see a flurry of red hair rush towards him.

“What, dumbass?”

Hinata trots up to him and flashes a giant grin. “Have you started studying for our calc exam yet?”

The taller boy scrunches his face in confusion and turns around to keep walking. The red head follows him, of course. “What exam? We just had an exam last week.”

“That exam was two weeks ago, baka! Sensei told us three days ago that we have an exam tomorrow.” Kageyama stops mid stride and freezes. Tomorrow? He’s totally fucked. He was probably drooling in the back of class when the teacher said that. As if that’s not bad enough, Hinata seemingly reads his mind.

“Were you sleeping during class again, bakageyama?” 

Kageyama whirls around to grab at the shorter boy, but Hinata is deft as ever and jumps out of his reach. “I was not asleep! I know we have an exam, I was just testing to see if you knew!”

Hinata giggles, “Sure you did, you big idiot.” Kageyama frowns at him and makes another swipe at him for the comment. Hinata’s still smiling though. He suddenly turns towards Kageyama with a serious face. “Do you want to study together?”

”What?”

”I asked if you wanted to study together, dummy. You’re clearly gonna fail.”

Kageyama gapes at him for a second and grinds his teeth. “Like you’re gonna do any better. You’re the one that failed the last exam,” he says and turns around to start walking away. 

”You failed too!” Hinata shouts as he points a finger at him and sprints to catch up. When he doesn’t reply, Hinata becomes more insistent. “Hmph. I was just trying to be nice. Do you want to study together or not? We might as well, since we’re in the same class.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes and tosses the idea around in his head. He has to study either way. It’s not like he’d be worse off with Hinata, considering he didn’t even realize there was an exam until thirty seconds ago. He feels conflicted about being alone with Hinata outside of the court though.

“I don’t know if my parents want people over without asking them first.” 

”Duh. I wanted to study at my house anyway. My mom is cooking curry.” The last sentence catches his attention. He barely ate anything at lunch and the sound of curry is tempting. 

“Hmm. Fine. I’m going home early though. We have practice in the morning.”

”Wow, Kageyama! So responsible.” Kageyama rolls his eyes but Hinata just continues to babble. “We’ll definitely pass this time. Let’s go!” Hinata beams at him. The smile is too bright to be directed at him and for a second, he’s taken aback. He never expected studying would make Hinata this happy.

Hinata scampers off ahead of him to lead the way. Kageyama follows behind in a daze. He’s never studied with anyone else before. He’s not sure what to expect. He wouldn’t tell anyone, but he feels a slight bit of excitement, like when he scores a service ace. 

The feeling is new to him, but not entirely unwelcome. Kageyama feels a tickle inside that is strangely warm. It begins with a flutter. He chooses to ignore it for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, this is my first fanfic in this fandom. i’ve never written on ao3 before, so let me know if i’ve made any mistakes or need to change something. i’m not sure where this fic is going and it might not turn out good, but here i am! i don’t really expect anyone to read it, but kghn makes my heart flutter. i had to write something for these pure boys. - daisy


	2. Late Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A study sesh turns into an all nighter.

It’s a cool fall evening. The air is crisp, and the summer heat is finally starting to recede. It’s the time of year where there’s still a thin layer of frost on the grass in the early morning, but the weather warms up as the day goes on. As the evening approaches, the wind nips at Kageyama’s face as they walk. Hinata is walking beside him with his bike between them. They don’t speak as they slowly ascend the mountain and at first, Kageyama feels anxious. He feels the urge to fill the silence. Normally, Hinata chatters away about meat buns, classes, practice, or just about anything that enters his mind. It feels strange to be around him when he’s so quiet. 

Kageyama contemplates asking Hinata if he’s tired, but then again, when is he ever tired. Hinata has always seemed like an endless source of energy. It’s the kind that people thrive off of. He noticed it during their matches when the team is behind or at match point. Hinata shines the most in those moments. Kageyama thought he could be quite focused when he tried, but when Hinata really cares, his aura is in a league of its own. His energy seems to latch onto everyone around him. It’s quite startling to witness and it took him off guard the first time he saw it in their middle school match, all those months ago.

Kageyama considers starting a conversation himself, but he finds that he can’t think of anything to say. So, he just keeps following Hinata. As they climb up the mountain to his house, Kageyama feels some of his unease melt away. How bad could it be? They’re just studying. His plan is to go over a few chapters, maybe even a practice problem or two, and then head home. He’d leave by 10 pm at the latest. It was only around 7:30 pm now. Yeah, that was a good plan. As he glosses over his plan, he freezes. He feels a trickle of dread fill him. He totally forgot that he had to meet Hinata’s family and eat dinner with them. He mentally smacks himself. Kageyama suddenly realizes he knows close to nothing about Hinata’s family. Why did he agree to this again?

He vaguely remembers Hinata mentioning that he has a younger sister. Other than that he draws a blank. He doesn’t know much about his parents and it feels a little late to ask now. He starts regretting ever agreeing to come along. He’s never been good with kids. They’re usually scared of him because of his face.

“What’s wrong Kageyama?” Kageyama freezes and whips his head up to look at Hinata. He didn’t realize he was staring down at the ground while he was walking.

“What?” He growls, trying to cover up his embarrassment. Hinata was always better at analyzing people than he was, and he definitely just got caught grumbling.

“You were mumbling under your breath just now.”

“Was not.”

“Were too. You’re making that face you have when you’re trying to figure out a strategy to beat a team during a match.” Kageyama rolls his eyes.

“I was just thinking about the calc exam.” Hinata hums as though he doesn’t believe him.

“If you’re worried about meeting my family, don’t be. Natsu will love you.” Kageyama glances at Hinata out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t respond, mostly because he knows that won’t be true, but also because he has no fucking clue who that is. He assumes that’s his sister.

Hinata affirms his thoughts by quickly responding, “Natsu’s my sister by the way. She can get a little rowdy when I have new people over. Don’t worry, she’ll think you’re cool.” Kageyama is starting to think he really can read reminds. 

He feels heat rush to his face and turns his head away to hide his flushed cheeks. “I know that, dumbass. You’ve mentioned her before.”

Hinata laughs, “I didn’t think you were listening. I’m surprised you remembered that.”

“Of course I did, idiot.” Hinata continues to giggle.

“Says the one who forgot about our exam.”

“Shut up! I knew it was tomorrow!” Kageyama grabs Hinata’s hair in a fist, but quickly let’s go and hides his flushed face again.

Hinata hums and keeps walking. Normally, he would try to fight back or start yelling. This was a different side to Hinata that he’s never seen, not that he ever paid enough attention to notice.

“Wanna race the rest of the way to my house?”

“No, boke. I don’t even know which way to g-“

Before he could even finish, Hinata starts sprinting away with his bike in tow. Kageyama stood there, mouth gaping after him. When he finally comes to his senses, breaks into a sprint after the shorter boy.

By the time they reach the path to Hinata’s house, Kageyama sprints ahead onto the porch.

“No fair! The bike slowed me down!” Hinata shouts.

“You’re the one who got a head start, you idiot!”

Hinata pouts. “I’ll beat you next time.”

Kageyama huffs in response and Hinata sets his bike to the side. He walks past him, opening the front door.

As soon as it opens, he sees a tiny head of red hair rush towards them and slam into Hinata’s legs.

“Onii-chan!” It seems loud and energetic runs in the family. She jumps up and down in front of Hinata and reaches her hands up at him. He picks her up and holds her against his side with one arm.

“Hi, Natsu. Did you have a good day?” The younger red head nods fervently. Kageyama thinks she might hurt her neck with how hard she’s shaking it.

She cranes her neck around her brother’s head. “Who’s this, onii-chan?” She stares at him before leaning into Hinata’s ear and whispering, “He’s pretty like the prince in my book.”

It was Hinata’s turn to blush and Kageyama turns his head away in embarrassment.

“No, Natsu. This is my teammate Kageyama. He’s a setter! Isn’t that so cool?” Natsu gasps and looks at him with sparkling eyes.

“He’s the one that gives you the ball?” Kageyama feels his face heat up even more.

“Mhm. Our teammates say he’s a genius,” he whispered to Natsu. Kageyama looks down at the floor.

Natsu is buzzing with energy and starts squirming in Hinata’s arms. Hinata sets her down and she quickly runs over to Kageyama to stare up at him in awe. He doesn’t know what to do. Most kids would be running away in tears by now.

“Can you show me? Pleaseeeee.” Kageyama’s eyes widen and he looks between Natsu and Hinata, unsure of what to do.

Luckily, Hinata’s mom cut in, “Hi, you must be Kageyama. Shoyo’s mentioned you’re on the same team.” Hinata glares at his mom. Kageyama nods aggressively, but she just smiles at him. Hinata talks about him?

“Yes. I’m on the volleyball team too. Thank you for having me over Hinata-san.” He doesn’t know what else to say.

“Why don’t you boys play outside with Natsu while I finish up dinner.” She smiles at Hinata this time and he nods in response. She turns around and disappears back into the kitchen.

Kageyama follows the two siblings into the backyard and spots a volleyball on the ground. “Shouldn’t we go study?” He asks.

Before Hinata can respond, Natsu runs up to Kageyama and grabs at his hand. She pouts. “Can you show me your tosses first? Hinata says you’re amazing,” she says. Kageyama stands there dumbfounded. He feels the light warmth return at the comment about his skills.

Hinata giggles and picks up the ball. “We can just do a few passes and then go inside,” he says. Natsu doesn’t look pleased, but she stands and stares at the black haired boy, waiting for him to start.

After a few sets from Kageyama, Natsu looks at Kageyama in awe. She stares up at him with wide eyes.

“Can I try? Set to me too, Kageyama!” She cries out. Kageyama looks to Hinata for approval, but Hinata just laughs.

“C’mon Natsu. Maybe next time. Let’s go inside. Dinner should be ready soon.”

Natsu pouts again. Kageyama stares at Hinata as they walk inside. Next time? He feels the same flutter from earlier. He frowns to himself. He isn’t sure how to feel about that. He didn’t even consider that this may happen again.

They all sat down for dinner and Hinata’s mom is very kind. This isn’t surprising, considering how Hinata acts towards everyone. She asks him about volleyball and classes and he responds with short answers, while trying to put on a small smile.

Afterwards, he helps put the dishes away and Hinata’s mom insists on giving him leftovers to bring home. He tried to argue otherwise, but it was futile. Ten minutes later, he has a box of food stuffed in his bag as he follows Hinata to his room. When he opens the door, Kageyama simply surveys the room. He in’t sure what he was expecting. There were a few pieces of clothing on the floor, but for the most part, it’s clean and tidy. There’s volleyball posters on the wall, a small futon bed, and a desk in the corner. Hinata sets down his school bag and Kageyama follows suit.

Hinata throws himself on the floor and sits with his legs folded. He starts pulling out papers and books. Kageyama remains standing by the door. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s never done this before. He feels slightly uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to take up too much space. Hinata glances up at him and raises his eyebrows, as if to ask what he’s doing. After a second of silence Hinata speaks up.

“You can sit down, dummy.”

Kageyama scoffs, “I know. I was just looking around.” He slowly sits down and settles into sitting criss cross applesauce in front of Hinata.

They dig into their work and every once in a while, Kageyama glances up at Hinata. Silence falls over them as they struggle through the practice problems. The silence feels more comfortable this time around. He can’t describe it, but he feels as though Hinata was more open somehow. He’s never been over someone’s house for dinner or studied with anyone in their room. It all feels very new to him. He thought it would be more overwhelming, but somehow, it just seems to work.

Hinata is sprawled on the floor with papers around him. His tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth as he scribbles on his paper in concentration. It’s the same concentration he has when he’s about to do a shitty serve. Kageyama notices how his eyebrows scrunch in confusion at a particularly difficult question. He also notices how his long red eyelashes slowly blink as he stares at the problem, as well as the delicate slope of his nose and the light freckles that cover it. He stares at Hinata a little bit longer before he comes to his senses and shakes his head, looking back down at his own papers. He shouldn’t be staring.

The night slowly ticks by and by the time he looks back up, Hinata is dead asleep on top of his textbook and it’s well past 10 pm. Kageyama panics. He doesn’t know what to do. Should he wake him up? Would that be rude? Should he tell Hinata’s mom he’s leaving? That won’t work either. She’s probably asleep too and it’s probably too late to go back to his own house. He had texted his mom that he would be out studying, but it was past ten now. Should he let Hinata sleep?

After glaring at Hinata some more, hoping he would wake up, he settles on leaving him alone. He didn’t want to deal with awkwardly waking him up and telling him he’s leaving. So, he just goes back to studying and glancing at Hinata.

As the hours crawl by, Kageyama finds himself falling asleep as well. He falls asleep on the ground with his head on his arm. When he wakes up, he feels Hinata draping a blanket over him. He keeps his eyes shut and attempts to ignore the light feeling that has stayed with him throughout the night. He hears Hinata crawl into his futon and settle under his own blanket.

When he wakes up again, Hinata is still asleep and it’s already well past six in the morning. He takes a piece of paper from his notebook and scrawls a note on it for Hinata. He has to head home and shower before morning practice, since he already missed his morning run. It feels odd. It’s an obvious change in his schedule, but he can’t say he minds. He’s going to get back on track though. As he leaves Hinata’s house, he glances back and thinks of the red heads words that echo through his mind. Next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi omg!! i went to eat dinner and when i came back i already had 5 kudos. thank you!! also, let me know what you think and where this story should go! i want to bring some more characters into this, but i’m not sure how to yet. also, i just finished my semester a few days ago, so i have plenty of time to upload over winter break. i’m gonna try to upload a few more chapters tonight. let me know if there are any errors, i’m just writing this and posting it as i go. much love. - daisy


	3. The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kageyama and Hinata eat lunch and go to the park.

As expected, they both fail the exam in spectacular fashion. They’ll definitely hear about this from Daichi.

Kageyama returns to his regular routine and continues to eat lunch and walk home alone. He feels content with this, even if thoughts of Hinata’s house cross his mind occasionally. Hinata never mentioned their study session after that night, but it doesn’t feel awkward either. Kageyama doesn’t think there’s a reason to go to Hinata’s house again now that the exam is over. So, he just continues on with his life like normal.

Kageyama falls asleep during calc class again and wakes up for lunch as the class is ending. He grabs his bento out of his school bag and yawns as he makes his way out of the classroom. He finds his regular spot on the side of the school and plops down for some onigiri and vegetables. It’s plain, but at least it’s healthy and gives him some energy. He’s still drowsy from his daily nap during class and lazily bites into his food. As he’s chewing, he hears a rustle of grass a few feet away. He whips his head up and sees a flash of red hair disappear around the corner of the building. Kageyama scrunches his eyebrows and looks around in confusion.

He slowly goes back to eating and looks down at his food in confusion. There was no way he just caught Hinata spying on him from around the corner. This is ridiculous. He slowly chews and listens for another noise.

He hears the crinkling sound of grass again and this time, as he quickly looks up, he catches Hinata’s face before he can disappear around the corner.

“Oi! You dumbass! What’re you doing? Come out already.” Hinata sheepishly  
emerges from behind the corner and stands there with his own bento. Kageyama rolls his eyes and scoffs. “What do you want? I’m trying to eat my lunch in peace.”

“I see that. Why’re you over here though?”

“Because this is where I eat lunch, boke. How’d you even find me?”

Hinata stares at him for a few seconds in silence. He grins, but his cheeks were slightly pink. He mumbles in a voice too quiet for Kageyama to hear. “What did you say?”

Hinata mumbles again, slightly louder.

“Will you fucking speak up, idiot?”

“I said I followed you here!”

Kageyama’s mouth drops open as he stares at him. “What? Why?”

“I just wanted to see what you were doing all the way over here.”

Kageyama continues staring at him with his mouth slightly open. “So you hid and spied on me?!”

“It’s not like that! I was just curious where you disappear to during lunch! Don’t make that face!”

Kageyama straightens his face into a bored glare. “Well, now you know! I’m just trying to eat lunch without being bothered.”

Hinata doesn’t respond to that and fidgets in his spot, his hands wringing on the blue fabric wrap of his bento.“W-well can I eat here too?”

Kageyama is momentarily shocked and stares back up at the short boy. He tries to keep a bored look on his face. “But why? You usually eat with your friends?”

“You’re my friend too, idiot!”

Kageyama can’t control the flutter inside him and causes his heart to skip a beat. “N-no, I’m not, dumbass.” Kageyama turns his head and intently stares down at his food again.

“Yes, you are! We studied together!” Hinata says. Kageyama didn’t know how to respond.

He just grumbles, “I guess. We studied together once. Whatever, just sit down.”

Hinata beams in response and sits down next to him. “Well let’s hang out again! How about after practice?”

“We don’t have any exams coming up.”

“We don’t need to study, bakayama. Let’s play volleyball instead!”

“You want to play more volleyball after practice?” Kageyama stares at him with an annoyed face.

“I mean, why not? We stay after for extra practice anyway, except this time we can go to the park!” Kageyama mulls over the idea. He was never one to turn down extra volleyball practice.

“Fine. Whatever.” Kageyama goes back to eating his lunch. He glances over at Hinata’s bento and notices the leftover curry and rice that his mom made the other night.

“So, why do you eat by yourself over here?” Kageyama glares at him.

“I already told you, I like eating in peace. Plus, I don’t know anyone from class.”

“You know me!”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Hinata hums and continues eating his lunch. When the bell rings for next period, they go their separate ways.

* * *

During practice, Hinata would randomly smile at him. This isn’t that unusual, but it’s not usually directed at him. Hinata was always smiling, especially during practice. He smiles at everyone, but today feels different. Kageyama thought he must be imagining it. When practice was over, Kageyama stalks to the club room and slowly changes. He wasn’t sure if he should wait for Hinata to finish, so he walks outside and stands by the gate.

Hinata sprints out soon after and waves at Kageyama. He unlocks his bike and starts rolling it toward him.

“Which way to the park?”

Hinata smiles and responds, “It’s not far just follow me.”

They lapse into easy silence again and slowly walk towards the park. There’s a few street lights and a small volleyball net set up by a playground. Kageyama takes his volleyball out and they practice receives and sets. This is something Kageyama is used to. This is comfortable and he doesn’t have to think about doing it. He notices how the moonlight reflects on Hinata’s hair and skin, but he refocuses himself on volleyball. This is weird. He still doesn’t understand why Hinata is so insistent on eating lunch with him. He doesn’t even understand why they actually studied together or why he agreed to it.

He pushes the thoughts away and continues to practice. After an hour or so, they wrap up and decide to head home. They walk the same way towards their houses. He can feel Hinata glancing at him every few minutes out of the corner of his eye. He tries his best to act as though he doesn’t notice and tries not to look back. Was there something on his face? Why does he keep looking at him? They keep walking as the silent night air wrap around them, until he hears a loud crash. 

Kageyama jumps and turns around to find Hinata tripped on an uneven crack in the road and his bike crashed to the ground with him.

“Hinata-boke! What’re you doing?”

“Nothing! I just tripped! I’m fine.” Kageyama quickly walks over and grabs his arm to help him up. Hinata jumps and pulls his arm away, grabbing his bike and fully standing up. Kageyama is shocked by the quick brush of skin. Hinata is still wearing a t-shirt from practice and he pulls his hand back. He glares at Hinata.

“You idiot. Maybe you wouldn’t have tripped if you were looking where you were going.” Hinata gasps and glares back at him.

“I was looking!”

“Whatever.” Kageyama rolls his eyes again. He could have sworn Hinata was looking at him. Hinata finally straightens himself out and starts walking again. They reach a split in the road where they would have to go separate ways to get home. Hinata pauses for a moment and Kageyama stops walking too.

“Uhh.. Thanks for hanging out,” Hinata mumbles.

“Yeah, we both needed the extra practice.”

“Um, yeah. Goodnight, Kageyama.” Kageyama chances a glance up at Hinata who was slightly smiling.

“Yeah. Goodnight, Hinata.”

Kageyama turns away from him and walks home. That was the first time he didn’t walk home by himself. That was the first time he even hung out with someone outside of school or practice. He didn’t really count their study session as hanging out. When he finally got inside, he showered and plopped onto his bed. Today has been confusing. Actually, this entire past week has been confusing. He’s not sure what Hinata is doing all of a sudden. He said they were friends. Is that what friends are? Is this what friends do? Was he doing this right? Is Hinata only his friend because he pities him? He wasn’t sure anymore. 

Kageyama falls asleep, wrapped in thoughts of Hinata, his ‘ _friend_.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! here’s another chapter! again, let me know if i made any mistakes. i have no idea what i’m doing. please let me know if you’re enjoying it or if this is just a mess, i’m legit making it up as i go lmaoo. - daisy


	4. Sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kageyama can’t finish his lunch.

Morning practice is uneventful as usual. The team is slowly improving as spring interhigh approaches. Hinata has been more and more insistent on asking for sets from Kageyama. Tsukishima gives him a weird look for this, but always shrugs it off as Hinata just being Hinata. Kageyama can’t help but appease him, even if he tries to argue every time.

Kageyama has become accustomed to Hinata being demanding in the last few weeks. Hinata constantly wants to eat lunch together and walk home together until they reach the split in the road. He also insists that they hang out more often after practice and Kageyama has relented at least twice. The first time, he allows himself to visit Hinata’s house to see Natsu again and the second time, they go to the same park for more practice. Natsu was overjoyed to see him again and has taken to calling him Yama. She picks up on the name after Hinata called him bakayama in front of her by accident. He doesn’t mind, but he’s not used to such an affectionate nickname, especially from a child.

He slightly smiles at the thought as he walks to his usual spot for lunch. It’s not really his spot anymore though. He guesses that this is their spot now. His and Hinata’s. In the past few days, Hinata is constantly at his side. He’s there in the mornings before classes, during practice, between classes, at lunch, during afternoon practice, and on the way home. Kageyama isn’t the only one to notice this change. His classmates have taken to whispering to each other in small groups when Hinata pops into one of his classrooms or when they walk by them in the hallways.

He ignores the glances and chatter as he sits down at their usual spot, as they have for the past few weeks. Kageyama usually waits to start eating his food until Hinata pops up and brings his loud and boisterous energy with him. Today was different. It was a break from his new routine. Hinata never shows up for lunch. He waits for 15 minutes, but eventually just ate his food by himself. Kageyama frowns at his leftovers. He didn’t really feel like eating the rest. He isn’t sure why his stomach feels off. He mulls over the thought that it could be from practicing too hard this morning.

He wraps up his bento and stands from the spot to go back inside. He passes by a classroom on the way back to calc class and hears Hinata’s loud laugh. He glances inside and sees that he’s finishing up lunch with a few of his friends from another class. Kageyama’s frown deepens as he walks away and heads to the classroom to grab his bag. He spends the rest of the day with a sour feeling in his chest. He shouldn’t be shocked by this. He knows Hinata isn’t actually his friend, not in the same way that everyone else is. They’re just teammates and have only hung out a handful of times. He thinks that maybe that’s just the way things are. Other people are just better at being friends than he is. He’s always snappy and scares people off. Hinata’s other friends aren’t like that. They’re happy and fit in comfortably. Their conversations flow easily and make Hinata laugh.

He knows he’s being dramatic, but he feels like he should have just said no to studying together the first time. Kageyama knows it won’t ever evolve to an actual friendship. This has happened to him before in middle school. People get tired of him. They always get tired of him. They only tolerate him when necessary and then go back to their actual friends.

It’s a strange feeling. He adjusted his life to fit Hinata into almost every moment. He’s used to having someone to talk to, or sit in comfortable silence with while he ate. He doesn’t know how to feel now. He doesn’t want to feel any particular way about it. It isn’t a big deal he tells himself. Hinata has simply gone back to his own friends after entertaining himself with Kageyama for a little while. Kageyama can adjust again. He can go back to his regular schedule. He was right to think that he didn’t need anyone by his side. He just needs to focus on volleyball.

He trudges to his next class and makes it through the rest of his day, but he doesn’t feel any better by the time afternoon practice rolled around. He still has that sour feeling that’s latched onto his chest since lunch. Maybe his food had gone bad he thinks. 

Practice is tough and he plays like shit. Everything is just off. He can’t connect the way he usually can. He is out of sync and it shows. In the middle of a practice match, Daichi pulls him aside and tells him to take a break. He feels guilty for messing up the teams flow, add to the fact that he feels horrible because he got benched. 

Eventually, practice ends and he doesn’t wait for Hinata. He just starts walking home. He made it home without any disturbances. His parents greet him and ask about his day, but he curtly responds and heads to his room. He isn’t in the mood to talk, especially after such an unproductive practice. He’s just glad it’s Friday and he’ll be left alone for the weekend. He’s just about to get up to shower when his phone goes off with an obnoxiously in his all too quiet room. He considers just ignoring it until after his shower, but he feels a strong urge to check it. He glances down at it and sees that it’s a text from Hinata.

‘Hey! Sry I forgot to text u. My friends asked me yesterday to study with them today for a quiz in history. We’ll definitely eat lunch together Monday! ٩( 'ω' )و’

Kageyama scrunches up his face. He’s confused by the face Hinata sent. He’s also confused by the relief he feels. Hinata still wants to eat with him. Kageyama contemplates not texting back but he settles on responding with ‘Okay.’

Before Kageyama can even lock his phone, Hinata has already responded.

‘Ok, bakayama. U better toss to me more on Monday. U were off today (¬､¬)’

Kageyama grunts and rolls his eyes, tossing his phone on the bed. By the time he returns from the shower, he has another text from the annoying red head.

‘Wanna hang out tomorrow? I’ll make up for missing our lunch! We can go to town! ｡^‿^｡’

Kageyama tosses the word around in his head. Our. He should really stay home and study for their next calc exam instead of getting distracted with friends, but he can already picture the pouting face he’d make if he said no. He types a quick response as he lays in bed.

‘Okay.’

He stares up at the ceiling. Kageyama realizes that he’s never been able to deny Hinata of anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi. here’s another one! this is my fourth chapter of the night! i’m on a roll. i realize these chapters are short, but i just wanted to get the story rolling hehe. leave me your thoughts!! - daisy


	5. Candy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys venture downtown.

Kageyama wakes up early that morning, feeling much better than he had the day before. He doesn’t have that heavy and bitter feeling inside anymore.

He isn’t sure what to expect out of the day. He just knows he has some sort of plans with Hinata. He figures that he woke up before Hinata since he doesn’t have any texts about their plans yet.

Kageyama continued laying in bed for a while until he eventually got up and starts getting ready for the day. He had breakfast with his family and checks his phone afterwards to see a text from Hinata.

‘Hey! Do u want to look at the shops downtown and then get some food? (´∀`)’

‘Sure, that works. What time do you want to meet?’

‘How abt 1?’

‘Sure. Meet at the school?’

‘Yeah.’

Kageyama locks his phone and went back to his room. He wanted to study before going out, but didn’t really feel motivated. He was feeling anxious about going out. He hasn’t hung out like this before. Throwing a ball around with Natsu and practicing volleyball was one thing, going downtown was another thing. He fidgets with his clothes. Should he get changed? He was wearing simple jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. Then again, why should he? It’s not like he has to look good just to window shop. Plus, it’s only Hinata. Hinata wasn’t exactly a style icon either. Kageyama sits down on his bed and decides not to get changed.

After a few minutes though, he starts anxiously flicking through his closet for different clothes. He settles on ripped black jeans, a collared shirt, and a blue crew neck sweatshirt over top. This was practical, right? It’s cool outside and layered clothes will keep him warm. This is fine. He stares at himself in the mirror. Why is he thinking about this so much? It doesn’t even matter.

He shuts his closet door and flops back onto the bed. He still had two hours to kill. He set a volleyball to himself while he laid in bed. He got bored after 20 minutes, so he went downstairs to watch a volleyball match that was on TV. By the time it was over, it was almost 1 o clock. Kageyama grabs his wallet and shoves it in his pocket before heading back downstairs. He told his parents he was leaving and walks towards the school. He was the first to get there and it was only five minutes until one.

He starts fidgeting with the hem of his sweatshirt and looks around. He didn’t see a head of orange hair anywhere in sight. He checks his phone every few minutes for a text from Hinata. Of course Hinata would be late. He huffs to himself. What if Hinata didn’t want to come? What if he just planned this because he felt bad for him? Kageyama chews on his bottom lip and continues fidgeting with his clothes. He stares down at his shoes until he suddenly hears feet pounding the pavement and heavy breathing approaching him. He looks up to see Hinata sprinting towards him. Kageyama’s eyes widen as Hinata finally came to a rest in front of him. He was bent over with his hands on his knees. After he finally recovers from his apparent run to the school, he straightens himself out and stands up straight, beaming up at Kageyama. His heart stutters. Hinata’s hair was a mess. It looked like the wind had tousled it in all directions. His cheeks are flushed and his face has a slight glow from sweat. Hinata’s golden brown eyes sparkled in the afternoon sunlight. He also had on casual clothes for once rather than his school or volleyball uniform. He had a pair of light jeans and a pale yellow sweatshirt.

Kageyama turns his head away as he felt heat rush to his face. He should not be so focused on what Hinata looks like.

Hinata looks at Kageyama and grins.

“You look so cool, Kageyama!” Shit. He was in trouble. He could feel his face heat up even more. He couldn’t control his heart rate picking up in his chest.

“T-thanks, boke.” Hinata smiles at him and grabs his arm.

“Let’s go!” Kageyama was fucked.

* * *

They walked into town side by side. They stopped at random shops when Hinata saw something he liked. Hinata vibrates with excitement and points at things enthusiastically. He gives Kageyama a bright smile before dragging him into the store.

After countless stores, they end up near a small candy shop. Kageyama groans internally. Hinata definitely didn’t need anymore energy in his system. He tries to direct Hinata away from seeing it, but the damage was already done. Hinata unceremoniously dragged him across the street.

When they enter the store, Hinata is practically bouncing off the walls. He thought it was like a kid in a candy store, except this wasn’t even comparable. It was _Hinata_ in a candy store, and somehow, that was infinitely worse. He flicks around from one area of the store to another. He was shoving copious amounts of assorted candies into a tiny bag. By the time they left the store, Hinata had his hand deep in a bag of at least a pound of candy.

“Stop eating all the candy, dumbass. You’re gonna give yourself a stomachache and we’re about to go eat.” Hinata tries speaking, but he had just shoved a handful of gummy candies in his mouth. It came out as garbled noises. “Holy shit you idiot. Chew it before you speak. I don’t even know what you’re saying.”

Hinata quickly chews it and nearly chokes as he tries to swallow the mashed up candy.

“I was saying I’ll be fine. I have a tough stomach. Tough as the iron wall.” Kageyama rolls his eyes and keeps walking towards a cheap ramen restaurant.

Hinata began to regret his words as soon as he started eating his food. Kageyama could tell he was suffering throughout the meal and his stomach was not agreeing with more food.  
Kageyama slightly leans over the table and whispers, “I told you you’d get a stomachache. Just get the ramen in a take away container.”

“I won’t lose to you bakayama!”

“Shut up! I already finished my food before you.” The table next to them stares at them in concern. Kageyama tried to awkwardly smile at them, but they just looked more freaked out and turned away. Kageyama smacks himself internally.

Hinata looks like he was about to throw up the entire pound of candy on the table at any second. He apparently held it down though and got a takeout container.

As they each paid for their food, Kageyama heard loud thunder rumbling overhead. The rain started to pour a couple minutes ago. They both really needed to get home. It was getting later in the evening and their parents would expect them soon.

He turns to Hinata. “What should we do?”

“Let’s just run home, duh.”

“I doubt you can even walk in your current state.

“Shut up, dummy! I totally can. I bet I’ll even beat you home.”

“Ugh. Let’s just go you idiot.”

Hinata grabs his leftovers and they open the door and sprint out. The rain immediately drenches their clothes as they run towards their houses. Hinata looks pale and nauseous. They ran quite a far distance and Kageyama didn’t think Hinata would even make it home. They need to get inside quick. 

“Baka. Come to my house!” Kageyama yells over the downpour.

“What? Why? I thought your parents didn’t like having people over without asking first.”

“They’ll be fine. Just cmon. You look like you’ll puke your guts out if you keep standing there. My house is closer.” Kageyama walks over to him and was about to grab his arm to drag him towards his house.

“I’ll be fine, Kage-“ Hinata freezes. Kageyama was right. He watches as Hinata proceeds to throw up all over his converse.

“Hinata, what the fuck! Oh my god. I told you not to eat all of it. Holy shit. Holy shit, there’s barf all over my shoes. Baka! Baka!”

“I know! Shut up! Oh my god. Let’s go to your house, I might throw up again.” Kageyama didn’t doubt that by the look on his face.

“Holy shit. I swear to god if you throw up on me again, I’ll spike thirty balls into the back of your head you little shit.” Hinata gags again and Kageyama’s eyes widen. They started sprinting. 

Outside of his house, Kageyama quickly removes his soiled shoes. He grimaces at them and tosses them into the garbage bin beside his house. When they got inside, Kageyama told his parents he was home and that he was having a friend over from his volleyball team. They started asking questions and want to meet him, but he ignores them and rushes Hinata upstairs. He shoves him into his room and grabs a trash can for him to lean over.

“Wow, Kageyama. Your room is a mess.”

“Shut up! My shoes are a fucking mess too because of you, you dumbass. Plus, I didn’t know I’d have some nauseous freak invade my room today.” Hinata groans in pain and leans back over the trash can. “You’re such an idiot. I literally told you it was a bad idea.”

Kageyama looks down at the feeble body on the ground and feels a slight hint of guilt. He should probably be nicer considering his current condition. He sighs and grabs a towel from the hallway closet for him.

“Here. Take this and dry off while I find you clothes.”

Kageyama noticed Hinata must have dropped his leftover ramen some time on the way back. He rolls his eyes as he looks through his drawers for clothes that would fit Hinata. He manages to scrounge up some old clothes from middle school, but even then, they may be slightly too big.

He walks over to Hinata and drops them on his head. Hinata groans again and starts peeling off his wet shirt.

Kageyama’s brain feels like it glitching. All he could see was pale skin and lithe muscle. 

“Hinata-boke! Go get changed in the bathroom!”

“I can’t. I’m currently dying over this trashcan. By the way, you need to take your trash out.”

“Who’s fault is that? Also, shut up. I know.”

He’s seen Hinata change in the club room before, why was this any different? He grabs his own clothes and turns around to hide his burning cheeks. He opens and shut his bedroom door behind him. He went to the bathroom to shower and change into his pajamas. When he got back, Hinata looks like he had mostly recovered.

He was sitting up and fully changed. The clothes hung off of him. They were definitely a size too big, but it couldn’t be helped. Kageyama stares at his exposed neck and collarbones, but forces himself to look away.

“Are you.. Um.. Feeling better? Do you want to shower? The bathrooms down the hallway.” Hinata smiles sheepishly at him as he enters the room.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He got up from the floor and disappears down the hall into the bathroom.

Kageyama lays on his bed, unsure of what he should do when Hinata comes back. He decides to flip through a volleyball magazine while he waits. After twenty minutes, Hinata returns. He was cleaned up and smiles at Kageyama. They stare at each other for a moment before the silence is broken by loud thunder.

Hinata rubs the back of his neck. “Thanks for letting me use the shower and bringing me here. I should’ve listened.” He lets out an awkward laugh before continuing, “I guess I should head home now.”

Kageyama scoffs, “Idiot. There’s no way you can make it home in this weather, at least not right now.”

“Hmm. You’re probably right.”

“Just stay here for now.”

“Okay.” They lapse into silence again. Hinata stares at Kageyama as he sits on his bed in his pajamas. “Umm, so what should we do now?”

It was Kageyama’s turn to rub his neck. He’s never had someone over before. This is new territory for him.

“Uhh.. We could watch the rest of a volleyball match I recorded?”

Hinata nods enthusiastically, “Yeah! That sounds like a great idea!”

Kageyama gives him a firm nod and they head downstairs. Kageyama’s parents were in the kitchen cleaning up. When they saw Hinata, they grinned.

Kageyama’s dad spoke up first, “You must be Tobio’s friend from the volleyball team!” Kageyama glares at his dad. He wasn’t sure if they were actually friends or not. Before Kageyama could doubt their friendship anymore, Hinata cut in.

“Yes! Thank you for having me over Kageyama-san!” He had on a beaming smile that Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes away from.

“We’re just going to watch a volleyball match on TV while Hinata waits for the storm to end.”

Kageyama’s mom frowns, “The storms going to be here for the rest of the night, maybe even into the morning. Hinata-chan, why don’t you spend the night here until it’s safe to go home? Kageyama can set up an extra futon in his room.” She smiles kindly at him.

If Hinata’s smile seemed bright before, it was blinding now. “I’d be happy to stay. Thank you again Kageyama-san!” He turns his smile on Kageyama who stood there in shock. Hinata was going to spend the night? Here? In his room? If Kageyama thought he was screwed before, he was completely fucked now. This was completely out of his comfort zone and he didn’t know what to do. Is Hinata actually okay with this? Is it going to be weird having Hinata sleeping in his room? He’s slept in Hinata’s room before, so it can’t be that weird. Then again, that was an accident. He feels totally frazzled.

Hinata grabs his arm and drags him over to the couch. Hinata seems like he’s totally immune to touch. He was always in Kageyama’s space or touching him. When they sat in the courtyard on the side of the school, Hinata always sat right next to him. Sometimes their knees would brush past each other. Hinata was constantly pulling on his arm or punching Kageyama back when they fought. Hinata was generally touchy with people, including their team mates. He’d high five them, jump on their backs, allow them to ruffle his hair, or hug them. The sour feeling returns for a second, but Kageyama immediately shut out those thoughts.

When they sit down, Hinata was sitting close to him. Their knees were touching again and his heart hammered in his chest. They’re just watching a volleyball match. That’s it. It’s just Hinata. Why is he freaking out? He tries to calm down and focus on the screen. The feeling eventually goes away. As the match eventually crawls to an end, they head back upstairs.

Kageyama sets up the extra futon and they decide to turn in for the night. It’s been a long day after all. Hinata crawls into his futon, as Kageyama shuts off the lights. He then hops into his own bed and rolls onto his side. He can see Hinata curled up in his blanket with his eyes closed. Kageyama looks at his still form for a few minutes. He’s so calm and quiet. It’s almost nice, but then Hinata suddenly opens his eyes.

Kageyama shuts his eyes as fast as he can and hopes Hinata didn’t see him.

“You know we’re friends right, Kageyama?”

Kageyama is quiet for a moment. His heart stills and for a split second it feels cold. He urges it away. Right. Friends.

“Yeah. Of course, dumbass.”

Hinata tiredly hums in response. “Thanks for hanging out with me today,” Hinata mumbled.

“You’re welcome,” Kageyama whispers back.

“Goodnight, Kageyama.”

“Goodnight, Hinata.”

Kageyama keeps his eyes shut. Hinata the idiot who ate too much candy. Hinata the idiot who trips over cracks in the road. Hinata the idiot who’s his friend. Hinata.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i think this is my last chapter for the night! hopefully, i’ll update more tomorrow! i don’t edit any of my work, so i apologize for any errors. again, feedback is appreciated. much love. - daisy


	6. Invincible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys connect.

Kageyama feels good. Afternoon practice went smoothly. Actually, practice went perfectly. His body feels attuned to the court. He sends the ball exactly where he wants it each time and his sets perfectly connect with his spikers. He finally had his flow back and this is the best he’s played since interhigh prelims.

They were in a practice match against some of the third and second years. He tosses a quick to Tsukki who spikes it past Asahi. Tsukishima looks at him in shock. The set was in the perfect position for Tsukki, rather than the fast quicks that he could barely spike. Nishinoya receives the ball back to Suga, where it was set to Asahi.

“Nice receive!” Daichi calls out.

Kageyama watches the ball fly over the net as Yamaguchi receives the ball. The ball is passed back to Kageyama. He knows exactly where to send it. He positions himself underneath it in a perfect back set to Hinata. Hinata is ready. He’s there, flying through the air, like he always is. Hinata is in perfect sync and slams the ball on the opposite side of the court past Tanaka. Their freak quick was finally improving. Hinata could actually fight in the air and see where he wanted to pinpoint his spike. Kageyama feels a surge of pride fill him. He feels connected to Hinata in a way that he hasn’t felt before. The word partners flashes in his mind.

“Nice kill!” Ennoshita shouts. He high fives Hinata. Kageyama smirks and gets back in position to serve. Yeah, he feels good today. He wasn’t sure why, but his mood had drastically improved over the weekend. He feels refreshed and connected to the court. He looks forward to practicing their quick again.

He tosses the ball slightly forward in the air and runs in for a jump serve. He was hoping to aim between Narita and Daichi. Narita rushes forward to receive the ball and nearly bumps into Daichi. He almost steps back. The split second of indecision between the two causes the ball to land on the back line of the court, signaling a service ace.

“Wahhhh! Nice serve, Kageyama!” Hinata jumps up and down in front of him. He looks like he wants to high five him, but opts for a thumbs up.

Kageyama flushes and mumbles, “Hinata-boke. Get ready for the next one.”

Hinata goes back to his position in the front of the court. He covers the back of his head as Kageyama sends another serve over the net. Daichi receives the ball and sends it back to Suga. Suga sets the ball to Tanaka this time and he slams the ball back onto their court.

The score continues to bounce back and forth between the two teams throughout the match. Kageyama’s team won in the end and they wrapped up practice. As he was about to start taking down the net, Daichi walks over and lightly taps his arm. Kageyama’s shoulders tense as he turns towards his captain.

“Kageyama, can you hang back a few minutes?

Kageyama nods and goes back to focusing on the net.

Tsukishima was whispering to Yamaguchi in the corner and sent sideways glances to him and Hinata every few seconds. Yamaguchi giggles and glances at Kageyama as well. Before Kageyama could look away, Tsukishima addresses him.

“Well, well. I guess the king has finally bent to his commoners.” Tsukki smirks at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about and don’t call me that. I was just setting the ball so we could win.”

Tsukishima raises his eyebrow. “Or maybe this idiot has made you soft. You were tossing to him the entire game.”

Kageyama glares. “I was doing what I had to to win. Maybe I’d set to you more if you actually tried.”

Tsukki scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Maybe if you actually tossed the ball away from the net like I want then I would. Too bad you’re too focused on your kings toss and ogling Hinata the entire game.”

Kageyama’s mouth drops open and he took a step forward to grab him by the shirt. “What the fuck are you talking about? And I said not to call me that! I sent the ball to you and Ennoshita plenty of times. You got the ball over and I set it how you wanted.”

Yamaguchi squeaks out something that sounded like Tsukki’s name as the taller boys stare each other down. Hinata runs over from the other side of the net and grabs Kageyama’s arm to pull him back. Kageyama freezes and looks down at the hand on his arm. Hinata looks up at him in confusion and then back down at his hand before quickly pulling it away.

“Guys, what’s going on?”

Kageyama releases his grip on Tsukki’s shirt and shoves him back. Tsukki laughs and then rolls his eyes again. “Nothing. Let’s go Yamaguchi.” The freckled boy scampers after Tsukki. 

Hinata stares after them in confusion. Kageyama stomps away to finally put the net away.

He met up with Daichi outside of the club room.

“Kageyama, I’m glad you and Hinata are finally friends.” Kageyama’s eyes widen. He didn’t know how to respond and just nodded. “I’ve seen that you two are spending more time together. That’s good. You two need to work together and clean up your quick before our official matches.”

Kageyama looks down at his shoes. “It’s not like that,” he mumbles. “We’re just staying after for extra practice.”

Daichi raises his eyebrow. He looks like he doesn’t believe it. “Well, either way, your quick was on point today. Keep it up, Kageyama.”

Kageyama looks up and nods at his captain. Daichi has a small smile on his face. He pats Kageyama on the shoulder and starts walking back towards the club room.

Just as Kageyama was about to follow, Daichi looks over his shoulder. “If you ever need anything, you know you can always talk to me or Suga.”

Kageyama gives him a small nod. Daichi disappears into the club room. Kageyama was slightly startled by Daichi’s last comment. Why would he need to talk to them? Did it have something to do with Hinata? Or could it be about his squabble with Tsukishima?

Kageyama shakes his head and walks into the club room to get changed. He walks home with Hinata that night.

* * *

“Hey, Kageyama?”

“What?” Kageyama looks up from his sandwich and stares at Hinata with suspicion.

“What do you like to do for fun?”

Kageyama scoffs. “Play volleyball. You know that, dumbass.”

“Lameee, Kageyama. Of course I know that. I meant other than volleyball.” Kageyama was slightly confused by the question. Why does it matter? Why does Hinata want to know?

“I don’t know. I watch volleyball matches on TV on the weekends.”

“Wahhh. Boring. What about something else? You don’t watch anything else? What about movies?” Kageyama scowls.

“Movies are boring, I’d rather watch volleyball and learn new strategies. Why does it matter?”

“Hmm. I guess so. I just wanted to do something you like when we hang out.” Kageyama feels his heart flutter again. It seems as though Hinata was not going to let their occasional hangouts end.

Kageyama continues eating his food. “I don’t care what we do. We should focus on volleyball with the spring tournament coming up though.”

“We will. I still plan to beat you.” Hinata smiles at him, eyes glimmering with challenge.

“You can try. We’re going to win and go to nationals.” Kageyama sends a small smile back. Hinata was here, by his side. He was always there when Kageyama needed him and they were definitely going to win.

“Yeah, we will because we’re invincible!” Hinata smiles back. They spent the rest of lunch eating in silence. The light feeling persists. He decides that he may not want it to go away. Maybe Daichi was right. Maybe they actually were friends. Maybe they were more than that. Either way, they’re stronger together than apart. They were partners, and they were invincible by each other’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! i’m finally trying to figure out where this story is going. it’s still kind of messy, but i’m excited to see what happens. leave your thoughts and suggestions! - daisy


	7. Tsukki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the idiots need calc help.

There’s probably no one in the world that he despises more than Tsukishima. Maybe Oikawa, but even then, he still has a slight bit of respect for him. Kageyama was thinking over all the things he’d rather do than ask Tsukishima for help with calculus. For instance, letting Hinata barf all over him again or letting Seijoh win at nationals or losing his position as setter or-

“Kageyama!” Hinata was waving his hand in front of his face. Kageyama slaps it away.

“What, idiot?”

“Are we gonna ask Tsukki or not?” They were standing outside of Tsukishima’s home room. A few students near the front gave them weird looks.

“You do it, boke.”

“What? No fair! You need help too! If I have to ask then you have to ask too. We’re gonna fail again and then Daichi is gonna yell at us again and then we’re not gonna be able to go to the training camp and then-“

“Fine, shut up. Let’s just get it over with.”

They walk inside the classroom to find Tsukki in the back with his headphones on. They ignore the curious glances from the other first years and walk up to his desk. He doesn’t even look up from his phone. He continues to tap through random apps and pictures as though he’s actually doing something. Kageyama taps his foot impatiently. 

He turns to Hinata. “This isn’t gonna work,” he mumbles.

“You haven’t even asked!” Hinata whispers back loudly. They glare at each other for a few seconds.

“Get out. I don’t want to see either of your faces more than I have to and I already see enough of it at practice.” Tsukishima looks up at them with his headphones still set over his ears. 

“You don’t even know what we want yet!” Hinata says and throws his hands up in the air.

“I don’t care. I’m not gonna do it anyway. Just get out.”

“No! Please help us, Tsukki! We need to pass the next calculus exam or we won’t be allowed to go to the next training camp.” Tsukki shoots him a bored and pointed stare.

“Sounds like a you problem. This has nothing to do with me. It’s not my fault you two are a bunch of bumbling idiots.” 

Hinata makes an offended noise. “Kageyama tell him!”

“The king isn’t going to tell me to do anything. This conversation is over. Go back to making out behind the school.”

Kageyama bristles at the comment. He looks like he wants to strangle Tsukki with his headphone cord. Hinata is blushing and looks away. 

“Shut the fuck up! Will you just help us study for the calc exam? You need us at nationals.” 

“Ooh, I’ve hit a nerve. Also, I don’t need shit from you.”

“Fine then. Go back to staring at pictures of Yamaguchi on your phone.” Tsukki’s head whips up and shoots him a glare. 

Kageyama stalks away with Hinata in tow. 

“Kageyama! Why did you do that? We need the extra help!”

“Because he pissed me off! We’ll just get Suga to help.” 

“Suga is busy though,” Hinata counters.

“I know. We’ll figure it out.” Hinata frowns and keeps following him. They walk down a few hallways to the third years classrooms. They didn’t see Daichi or Suga inside. They walk away and head towards the club room to check if they were there.

They were. Suga was sitting on the small desk in the club room and Daichi stood between his legs. They were smiling at each other and speaking in a hushed tone. When they heard the club room open, they both turned their heads to see who intruded on their moment. 

Suga relaxes his shoulders and hopped off the desk. He smiles at the boys and gave a small wave as he walks up to them. Daichi still stood by the desk, dumbfounded. 

“What’s up guys?” He beams at both of them as if nothing just happened.

Hinata and Kageyama’s faces were burning for walking in on their upperclassmen. 

“U-um we were wondering if you could tutor us in calculus before our next exam? We want to pass and go to the training camp.” Hinata was fidgeting and wringing his hands together as he looks at his shoes.

Suga just smiles. “Hmm. I’m busy tonight with cram classes, but how about tomorrow night? You can come by my house after practice.”

Hinata whips his head up and shoots him a dazzling smile. 

“Thank you, Suga-san! We’ll see you tomorrow!” He bows and looks at Kageyama. 

“Yeah, thank you, Suga-san.” Kageyama slightly bows and turns away to walk out of the room. Hinata follows him. They walk to their usual spot and sit down to dig into their food.

Kageyama looks up when Hinata finally speaks. “Suga and Daichi are pretty close, huh?”

“Uh.. Yeah, I guess so.”

They didn’t bring up the topic again and went their separate ways after lunch. 

At afternoon practice, Daichi sent them an awkward smile. Other than that, practice proceeded as usual. Afterwards, Hinata met Kageyama outside by the bike rack. They started their trek back home. Kageyama could hear the clicking of Hinata’s bike wheels  turning. They walked at a slow pace and enjoyed the cool night air. Kageyama feels grateful for the silence. He thinks over the past weeks and lets a sigh of content escape his mouth. He couldn’t remember what his life was like before he became friends with Hinata. He feels livelier now, like he’s ready to face anything. Energy flows through him and motivates him to push forward each day. He was going to reach his goals. He wonders if Hinata would be there for the journey. He secretly wishes he would.

Kageyama is pulled out of his thoughts. “Do you wanna race to the split in the road?” 

“Huh?”

“Let’s race to the split in the road? You’re being too quiet right now.” Kageyama glares at him before taking off in a sprint.  “Hey! You can’t start without me bakayama!” He took off running after him. Kageyama obviously beat him there, but Hinata wasn’t far behind.

Hinata huffs at him, but they still say their goodnights as they part ways. 

* * *

The following night, Kageyama and Hinata followed Suga to his house. They trailed behind him and sent each other glances out of the corner of their eyes. 

Suga’s house was very clean and his parents weren’t home. Kageyama feels relieved. He may have socialized with Hinata in the past several weeks, but that didn’t mean he was comfortable with meeting new people all of a sudden. 

They follow Suga to his room and pull out their notebooks and textbooks. Suga points out mistakes in their work and gives them tips for taking the exam. They argue over who can finish more practice problems done faster. Suga smiles at them knowingly and he feels fondness for his kouhais. When they finally settle down he speaks up. 

“So, why did you ask me for help instead of Tsukki? Doesn’t he have the same teacher?”

Kageyama grumbles and crosses his arms. 

Hinata speaks for them. “Kageyama yelled at him and Tsukki refused to help us.”

“I did not yell at him! He started it!”

“Did so! Now he won’t help us.” 

“He said it wasn’t his problem!”

Suga laughs as they start wrestling again, knocking papers all over the floor. “I understand. I’mbusy for the rest of the week, but I’ll talk to Tsukki tomorrow. I’m sorry I can’t help more. I know Tsukki can help you pass though.”

Kageyama huffs at the thought of working with Tsukki, but nods. 

“Thank you again, Suga-san!” The older boy smiles back at them.

They wrap up the studying for the night. As Kageyama steps outside, Suga pulls Hinata back. 

”Go on ahead Kageyama. I just have to talk to Hinata really quick.” Suga winks at Kageyama.

Kageyama stares back in confusion, but steps outside to wait for Hinata. When Hinata finally emerges from the house he looks embarrassed, but smiles up at Kageyama. They both head home together.

* * *

The next day, Tsukki confronts them after practice. “I’m only staying for an hour in the club room. If you fuck around, I’m leaving.” He glares at them and walks away. 

Hinata grins at Kageyama and gives him a thumbs up. Kageyama rolls his eyes and continues cleaning up. They headed over to the club room and set their bags down.

They ask Tsukki questions when they got stuck and resisted the urge to start arguing over the right answer. Kageyama thanks Suga in his head for getting Tsukki to agree to this. He would never admit it out loud, but he actually felt more prepared. He was concentrating on an integral when Tsukki groans in annoyance. 

“Will you please stop staring at him and do your own work? You’re the one that wanted help.” Kageyama looks up from his work. 

“W-what?! I’m not staring at Kageyama! I’m just looking at his work!” Kageyama shifts his paper out of Hinata’s sight.

“Hinata-boke! Don’t copy off of me!”

“I’m not!”

Tsukki cut in, “You’re right, you weren’t copying. You were too busy staring at his face. I’d rather not have to witness your love sick fawning.”

Hinata splutters and jumps  up in his seat. “I was not!” His cheeks were flaming red. 

Tsukki glares at him. “Shut up! You’re being so loud and it’s after hours. Sit back down and get back to work.”

“Hmph. I’m going to the bathroom.” Hinata stalks away and lets the door slam shut behind him. 

“So, how long have you and the shrimp been together? Or are you too scared to confess your wittle crush?”

Kageyama grits his teeth. “Fuck off. We’re not together and I don’t have a crush on that idiot. Why do you keep saying stuff like that?”

“Because you’re both so obvious. You’re all over each other at school.”

“Obvious about what? And we are not all over watch other. We’re just friends!”

“Sure. You guys are fucking idiots. Just admit it.”

“There’s nothing to admit. Shut up already. At least I’m not all over Yamaguchi.”

“What the fuck? You’re the one that’s all over Hinata.” Tsukki was actually getting visibly upset. “We’re obviously just friends, unlike you two.”

“Sure. You guys are fucking idiots. Just admit it.” Kageyama smirks at his scrunched up face. 

“If you say anything to Yamaguchi, I’m never helping you again.”

“Whatever.” They glare at each other until Hinata came back in the room. Kageyama’s face still feels hot. He scowls at his paper and pretends to do his work.

After an hour Tsukki got up and left. “Good luck failing your exam tomorrow.”

Kageyama growls and flips him off. Tsukki walks out of the room and leaves them alone.

Kageyama and Hinata start packing up their stuff. They walked to the split in the road in awkward silence. 

“Bye, Hinata.”

“Bye, Kageyama. We’re definitely going to pass tomorrow.” Kageyama nods at him and walks off.

Kageyama was lost in thought the rest of the way home. What the fuck was Tsukishima talking about? Why was everyone acting so weird? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you squint you can see some daisuga and tsukkiyama. idk how this all works, but should i tag them under relationships or?? someone please let me know lmaoo. also, what do you think suga said to hinata? 👀 - daisy


	8. Pillowtalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night talks and gentle hands.

As it turns out, they did pass, but just barely. It was enough to allow them to go to the training camp at the very least. It was the night before they were set to leave. Kageyama was packing his extra clothes in a duffel bag when he heard his phone ping. 

‘Kageyama! R u excited for training camp tomorrow? * ｡ ( ･ ∀ ･)ﾟ * ｡ ’ 

‘Yes.’

‘We’re gonna beat Nekoma this time!! ( ￣︶￣ ;)’ 

‘Not if you don’t work on those shitty receives’

‘Mean! I’ve gotten much better! Baka!’

‘You need to work on your serves too.’

‘Ur just jealous bakayama’

‘What would I be jealous of?! You suck!’

‘Nuh uh. I can do the quick now.’

‘You’re still a moron.’

‘A moron that’s gonna win.’

‘Sure. Now go to sleep, dumbass.’

‘You go to sleep.’

‘I can’t sleep if you keep bothering me.’

Hinata doesn’t respond for a little while. Kageyama thinks he may have finally fallen asleep until he hears  another ping a few minutes later. He opens his eyes and reaches  for his phone.

‘Can I call you?’ The text says. Kageyama crinkle his eyebrows in confusion. Hinata wants to talk on the phone this late? Why would he ask to call him randomly? Maybe it’s important. 

‘Yeah.’ He texts back. 

Kageyama’s phone immediately starts buzzing in his hand as Hinata’s name flashes on the screen.

“Hello?” He says quietly.

“Hi..” Hinata responds. Neither of them speak for a few seconds. 

“Do I actually bother you?” Hinata whispers.

Kageyama sucks in a quick breath. He wasn’t expecting him to ask that. He mulls over the question. Sure, Hinata bothers him with his endless stream of energy in the early mornings and loud mouth. He also had a tendency to eat too much candy and puke all over his shoes, but that was another issue. He also plays like shit sometimes, but in the end, Hinata never actually bothers him. “No.” He finally responds. 

He hears Hinata breath out what sounded like a sigh of relief.  Hinata is quiet for another moment before speaking up. “Okay, good. You don’t mind that we hang out and stuff then?”

Kageyama chews his lip. “No. If I did, I just wouldn’t hang out with you. Why’re you bringing this up now?”

“Because Tsukki kept making fun of you because of me. I thought you were pissed off and it bothered you.”

“I mean it’s Tsukki, he always says some dumb shit to piss me off,” Kageyama says and rolls his eyes. 

“I guess so.” There was a beat of silence. “So, do you want to hang out again?”

“Uh.. Sure why not. I already told you I didn’t mind, dumbass.” Kageyama responds. 

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“What do you want to do?” Hinata asks.

“I don’t know it was your idea, idiot,” he huffs out. 

“Well you never told me what you like to do for fun!” 

“I just like volleyball. I don’t know what to say.”

Hinata hums in response.  Another second of silence passes between them.  A thought occurs to him then.Kageyama speaks up. “What do you like to do then?”

“I like playing video games with Natsu!”

“Why don’t we do that then?”

“Sure, maybe after the training camp.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Kageyama isn’t sure what else to say. “Is that all you called me for?”

“I guess so...” Hinata says but then mumbles something else.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Just tell me, idiot.”

”It’s nothing, really.”

”Hinata, just tell me.”

“I just like hearing your voice.” Kageyama feels his heart stutter. The flutter in his chest seems to get worse. His mouth is set in a hard line. What’s happening to him?

He manages to mutter a response. “Boke.” He hears his voice crack and smacks himself on the forehead with his hand.

“I bet you’re making that face right now.”

“What? What face?”

“That face when you do a setter dump and the team tries to high five you and you don’t know how to.” Kageyama scowls at the ceiling even though Hinata can’t see him. 

“Shut up.” Kageyama mutters. Hinata giggles in response. 

“Did you see the pro volleyball match from Sunday?” 

“Yeah. Brazil’s setter is insane. I can’t believe he managed that quick set from the back of the court.”

They chat about the match for the rest of the night. Kageyama isn’t sure who fell asleep first, but when he woke up, Hinata’s name is still on the screen. He smiles lightly at his phone and decides to let Hinata sleep until they have to leave for the training camp. He quietly got ready and eventually heard Hinata shuffle in his bed. He picks up his phone.

“Hey. Wake up. We need to head to the school and get on the bus soon.” He says into the phone. He hears Hinata groan and shuffle again in his bed. 

“Get up! You’re gonna be late, boke!” 

“Ughhh. I’m up. Why do we have to leave so early?” Hinata whines.

“Maybe you wouldn’t be tired if you went to sleep when I told you.”

“Hmph. I just wanted to talk to you. I’m gonna go shower. Bye.”

“Bye.” Kageyama watches the call end and stares at his phone. Hinata’s weird. He shrugs and get’s ready to leave.

* * *

Kageyama yawns as he walks towards the bus. Everyone still seems to be asleep as they get ready to board. Hinata runs up to him and bounces up and down. Kageyama shoves his face away and walks onto the bus. He settles into the back and Hinata follows. He sits in the seat next to him and buzzes with energy. 

A half an hour later, Hinata is dead asleep. He was one of the first people to knock out, which doesn’t make any sense to Kageyama. He was wide awake one second and when he looked back over, Hinata’s head of fiery hairy was leaned back on the seat with his mouth wide open. Kageyama stares out the window as the scenery passes by. The bus is almost entirely quiet other than a few faint snores. He starts to drift asleep and shut his eyes until a weight falls on his shoulders. His body tenses and he glances down to see Hinata’s head resting on his shoulder. He tries not to move, but it feels like his heart is beating out of his chest. He’s stuck between shoving him off and letting him sleep. Hinata seemed more exhausted than he let on. They did stay up later than usual.

He tries to relax his body and fall asleep too. The weight and warmth of Hinata’s body was lulling him to sleep. He feels warm inside too. He even feels a strong urge to reach up and run his hand through Hinata’s hair. It’s right there and looks soft in the light glow of the morning. He shuts his eyes and ignores the feeling.

* * *

When Kageyama wakes up, Hinata was still asleep on his shoulder. He was drooling all over the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Kageyama scowls and pushes his head off. They were nearly at the training camp. Surprisingly, Hinata didn’t wake up. 

When they reach the camp, Kageyama gets off the bus and stretches his body. He feels refreshed and ready for these matches. 

When the games finally began, Kageyama notices that their quick was finally paying off. They actually won a few matches against the powerhouse teams this time around, but they were playing Nekoma next. 

Kageyama noticed Nekoma’s setter analyzing him throughout the match. He also noticed they were blocking more and more of Hinata’s spikes. He tried to think of ways to get around the block and catch up. He pulls Hinata aside and tells him to switch from a normal quick to their fast quick when Kuroo rotated to the front. It worked for a few points, but in the end they still lost. 

Hinata walks away from the team and went over to chat with the other setter. Kageyama couldn’t remember his name, but the way Hinata was laughing around him made him not want to remember it. People always seemed to gravitate towards Hinata. He glowed when he was around people. The blonde boy was whispering something in the red heads ear. Hinata’s eyes crinkled and he turned his head to lean in and whisper back. Kageyama watches them from across the court. They were lost in their own world. He felt like he shouldn’t be watching them. He turns his head and stalks away. It was the last match of the day. He walks over to the inn they were staying in for the night. He grabs clothes out of duffle bag and heads for the bathroom. He showers and changes into pajamas. When he returns to the room they’d all be sleeping in, he saw Hinata sitting on his futon with the blonde setter. He was leaning in close to look at the small screen of a hand held gaming device.

He feels anger and the sour feeling quickly flow through him. He wanted to turn around and leave again, but he had nowhere else to go. Of course Hinata’s futon had to be right next to his. He slowly walks up to his own futon and bends over to put his dirty clothes away. Hinata glances up at him and sent him a quick smile. Kenma looks up as well and stared for a few seconds. Kageyama feels like he was being analyzed again. Kenma has a curious look in his eyes. He looks away and refocuses on his game.

Kageyama looks away and sits down to settle into his bed. He tries to ignore the giggles he heard next to him and rolls over onto his side, away from the two of them. He shut his eyes and tried to sleep, but he couldn’t relax enough to do so. The voices around him kept him alert and on edge. Hescrunches his face and tries to relax his body into sleep. Eventually, the voices quiet down and everyone goes to sleep. 

He was still laying on his side and struggling to fall asleep. Something was bothering him. He didn’t know what his issue was. 

“Psst. Kageyama. Are you awake?” Kageyama tries to ignore the whisper and keep his body still, as though he was sleeping. 

The whisper was louder this time. “PSST. Kageyama.” He still refuses to move and hopes the idiot would give up.

“Psst. Bakayama. You’re awake, aren’t you?” Kageyama huffs as he rolls over. 

“Shhh! What do you want, stupid? You’re gonna wake up the rest of the team.”

“You weren’t even sleeping!” Hinata whispers loudly. 

“Maybe I was and you woke me up.”

“Did not.”

A voice that vaguely sounded like Tsukishima cuts in, “Will you guys please shut the fuck up? Go cuddle outside or on the bus again.” 

Both of them flush, but Kageyama was glad no one could see it. Kageyama mumbles a quick ‘fuck you,’ but they were quiet for a few minutes, so they wouldn’t piss Tsukki off even more. 

When Kageyama thought it was safe, he whispers back to Hinata, “What do you even want?” Hinata was quiet for a second. If Kageyama could see his hands, he’d probably be fidgeting with them right now.

“I just wanted to check on you.”

“Why? I’m fine.”

“You disappeared after the last match.”

“Yeah, because I wanted to shower and be clean unlike you.” Hinata squawks and then smacks a hand over his mouth at the loud noise.

“I showered after Kenma left!” Right. Kenma. That was his name.

“Sure. Whatever. I’m fine.” 

Hinata hums. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure.”

“Why though?”

“Because we’re friends bakayama, duh.”  Kageyama didn’t respond. He just huffs again. Hinata was friends with a lot of people. “Let me see your hand,” Hinata says.

“What?”

“Just let me see it.” Kageyama slowly reaches his hand out from under the covers. He held it out in front of him. Hinata stares at it before reaching his hand out too. Hinata’s hand slowly moves forward and places it against his. Kageyama notices how small it was compared to his. It was slightly rough with calluses from spiking balls but warm. He didn’t know what they were doing, but he keeps it there. Hinata folds his fingers between his. 

Kageyama couldn’t bring himself to look at Hinata’s face. He probably couldn’t see it anyway in the dark room. He could barely see their hands connected. He considers pulling his hand away. It stirs a strange feeling that wells inside him. They stay in that position. He wasn’t sure if it was for minutes or seconds. Hinata’s grip eventually loosens and Kageyama lets go of his hand. He almost didn’t want to pull away from the warmth of his palm. He put his hand back under the cover and stares into the dark space between them. 

“I’m glad we’re friends, Kageyama.”

“Me too.”

They didn’t say anything for the rest of the night. They eventually fall asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy. here’s my last chapter for the night. thank you to my friend for the chapter name lmfao. - daisy


	9. Blondes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training camp comes to and end and the boys head back to school.

In the morning, neither of them mention what happened the night before.

Kageyama is fine with that. He’s not sure what to think of it anyway. They just held hands for a couple seconds, so what? Maybe Hinata just wanted to see if his hand was as big as Kageyama’s? He wasn’t really sure why Hinata did that, but then again, he’s never understood why Hinata does anything.

They met up in the open gym for a team meeting and warmups. Kageyama wanted to get as much practice in as he could, considering it was their last day in Tokyo before Spring Interhigh. Hinata was off chatting with Kenma again, so he starts stretching by himself. He frowns. After a few minutes, he heard a loud voice enter the gym. He turns his head to see Bokuto greet Kuroo with a boisterous, “Hey, hey, hey! Morning, bro!” Kuroo greets him back and gives him a signature smirk. Their spiky hair stuck up in different directions. He wasn’t sure if either of them styled it or it was just naturally messy. He assumes the black and white haired boy did since it stuck straight up. Kuroo on the other hand looks like he just rolled straight out of bed and showed up in the gym in workout clothes. The Fukurōdani setter, Akaashi, lags behind Bokuto as he animatedly waved his hands around as he spoke to some other players. 

When Akaashi spots Kageyama watching them, he walks over to him. Kageyama sits up from stretching his legs on the floor. Akaashi always had a calm energy about him. It was strange to see when compared to his loud teammate. 

“Hey, Kageyama.”

“Uh.. Hi.” He cringes internally at his awkward response. 

“How’re you feeling about training camp?”

”Good, and you?”

“Good. You guys have improved a lot since the last training camp.”

“Thank you, Akaashi-san.”

“You can just call me Akaashi.”

“Uh.. Okay, thank you again, Akaashi.” The setter looks  like he was about to turn around and walk away, but Bokuto bounds up to them.

“AGASHEE! What’re you talking about over here?” Akaashi turns his head to look at the older boy with a bored face. “Oh hey, hey, Kageyama!”

”Hi, Bokuto-san.”

“I was just telling Kageyama that they’ve improved quite a bit since we last saw them.”

“Ohoho! You sure have. You and Hinata’s quick is so cool! You really connect on the court!” Kageyama nods and meekly smiles up at him. 

“Thank you, Bokuto-san.”

“Of course! We better be seeing you at nationals. I want to see chibi-chan at full strength.” Bokuto grins at him and raises his eyebrows in challenge. Kageyama gives a curt nod.

“We’ll be there.”

“All right! See ya later! Let’s go warm up, Akaashi!”

Bokuto walks away and Akaashi gives him a small smile and wave before following him. In that second, Kageyama notices the soft curve of his mouth and tousled hair. He also notices the dark shade of his eyes. He wasn’t sure what color they were exactly, but he could tell they were quite captivating. Kageyama thought back to what Natsu whispered to Hinata the first time they met. Pretty. If there was a word to describe Akaashi other than calm, it was definitely pretty. The sharp edges of his face and eyes caught him off guard. He only had to look at Akaashi for a few seconds to notice it. Kageyama didn’t think the word was as fitting for himself, but he ignores it and goes back to stretching. 

The matches were tough that day. Karasuno had to do far too many diving drills for Kageyama’s liking, but they continued to win at least a few games. 

By the end of the day, everyone was worn out. Karasuno said their goodbyes and piled back onto the buses by midday to head back home to Miyagi. Kageyama and Hinata were seated together in the back again. 

“Hey, Kageyama.”

“Huh?”

“I saw you talking to Akaashi earlier today. What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing much. We just talked about going to nationals. Why?”

“Oh. No reason. That’s cool!”

“Yeah.” Kageyama goes back to looking out the window. 

“Soo.. Akaashi is a pretty cool guy, huh?”

“Uh.. Yeah, I guess so.”

“Did you guys talk about anything else?”

“Um. Not really. He went to stretch with Bokuto.”

“Oh okay.” Kageyama doesn’t respond. Why did it matter what he was talking to Akaashi about? Kageyama shrugs it off and stares at the scenery. 

* * *

The next day, they’re back at school. The day slowly crawls by and Kageyama feels particularly famished today. As Kageyama walks outside to eat, he sees two figures sitting in his usual spot. His face scrunches in confusion. As he approaches the pair, he sees that Hinata was sitting with their manager. What’s up with all these blondes lately? 

“Oh, hey, Kageyama!” I hope you don’t mind if Yachi eats with us today! She looked bored eating in her classroom by herself.” Yachi blushes.

“My friends didn’t want to eat with me today.”

Kageyama frowns. “It’s fine.” He sits down and unwraps his food. He didn’t lie. He doesn’t mind if Yachi is there, but he couldn’t help the twisting feeling in his gut.

He shoves the food down his throat anyway. It was weird having another person there. It was also weird when Hinata first started eating there too, so it can’t be that different.

Hinata and Yachi chat away about random things. Kageyama is sitting about a foot away from them and didn’t really care to listen. He felt bothered for some reason. Why would he be bothered by Yachi though? Yachi was a nice girl. She seemed exactly like the type of person Hinata would want to be around. She was happy and soft. Kageyama tries to suppress the thoughts, but he keeps coming back to the topic. Could it be because he didn’t really know her? It could be because he doesn’t know how to act around Yachi, especially with her meek demeanor. He figures she was probably scared of him. 

That didn’t seem right though. That’s never bothered him before. Could it be because he was only used to eating with one person? That seemed more likely. It was odd changing his routine again. This was usually his and Hinata’s time. He guesses it isn’t a big deal though. It’s just one lunch period. He chastises himself mentally for being childish. Soon, the bell rings and they scatter to their next period.

* * *

Kageyama was wrong though. It wasn’t just one lunch period. Every day following that first time, Yachi joins them for lunch. Hinata focuses all of his attention on whatever Yachi is saying. He was intent on concentrating on each word that she spoke. Kageyama usually just sits in silence and glances at them every few minutes. It’s not like him and Hinata usually talked much during lunch anyway, but he hasn’t been able to say a word to Hinata in the past few days. Where did this new found closeness with Yachi come from? He shakes his head. It wasn’t his problem. Hinata could give Yachi all the attention he wanted. Who cares? Kageyama has never been needy when it comes to people or friends, not that he had any, other than Hinata, to begin with.

The twisting knot in his stomach was growing larger. He wonders if it was because Spring Interhigh is in less than a week. It makes sense, but deep down he knew it was more than that. He felt like after the training camp, he never had a real conversation with Hinata. It’s not like he had anyone else to talk to. He didn’t even have anything in mind to say to Hinata either. He just knows it feels weird not talk to the orange ball of energy. They’ve both been distracted with practicing hard for the tournament. They haven’t hung out in weeks either. Their initial plans to play video games with Natsu fell through. Neither of them ever brought it up again after texting about it. 

He feels a slight sting at that. Hinata was his only friend and he felt separated from him, the person who was supposed to be his partner. Kageyama didn’t finish the rest of his food and got up to leave lunch early. 

“Hey, where are you going Kageyama?”

“I finished my food. I’m going to get milk.”

“Oh, okay.” Hinata shot him a weird look, but quickly went back to his conversation. Kageyama isn’t sure why he lied. He just wants to go somewhere else. He was being childish again and possibly even selfish. Hinata was allowed to have other friends. It wasn’t a big deal. 

He decides to go back to his class and take a nap until next period. Whatever issues he was having right now wasn’t important. He just needs to relax and focus on his final preparations for the tournament. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i haven’t written much today. sorry for the short chapter! i wasn’t sure what i wanted to do with this chapter. hopefully, the next one is longer. - daisy


	10. Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Futons and sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! please note that this fanfic is not entirely canon compliant to the events in the manga or anime. i decided to change things up, so there are no real spoilers in this chapter. just wanted to leave a warning! hope you enjoy and please drop a comment! it really helps me out. i want to know where you guys want the story to go. - daisy
> 
> *update: hi so i realized i had the timeline of nationals and spring interhigh wrong. basically this fanfic so far should be set in the fall/winter and i didn’t even realize. in my timeline, nationals are set some time in mid december, whereas the events of the previous chapters are going to be set mostly in october/november. i apologize if it’s confusing since it’s slightly off from canon.*

It was the night before Spring Interhigh. Hinata and Kageyama were the last ones left in the club room. 

“Let’s go, Kageyama.” 

Kageyama follows the shorter boy out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Hinata glances back over his shoulder. “Of course I am. Are you scared, bakageyama?” Hinata grins at him and proceeds to giggle behind his hand.

“Boke, Hinata-boke!” Kageyama throws his arm out and grips Hinata’s red hair. 

“Ow ow ow!” Hinata grabs Kageyama’s arm in an effort to get Kageyama to release it.

“I am not scared! You’re the one that sucks!”

“I do not suck, scaredy-yama!” Kageyama squeezes his hair again before releasing it and giving him a quick push so they were even. 

Hinata just pushes him back, but warmly smiles. They stare at each other for a few seconds. Hinata’s smile drops and his face became unreadable. Kageyama remembers this look. He first saw it during their middle school match and Hinata declared that his team hadn’t lost the game yet. His eyes reflected a fire that matched his hair. 

“Don’t worry, Kageyama. We’re gonna win. As long as I’m here, you’re invincible.” Hinata raises a fist. Kageyama blinks at him. He had echoed those same words before when they first synced in their quick. Those words didn’t hold much significance back then, but they do now. Before, it was simply a promise that Kageyama would get him the ball each time. Now, Hinata’s words held a promise to stand by his side. Kageyama raises his own hand and they bump fists. 

“Yeah, we are.” They began walking home. He felt determination swell in his chest even more. They were going to do this, together. No matter how much he shit on Hinata’s skills, he believes in him. Hinata could fly higher than anyone else knew. In the small moments after practice and between classes, he recognized the same determination to claw his way to the top. He saw the same love and commitment to volleyball that he rarely saw in anyone else. His fire for life and the sport drove Kageyama forward and forced him to keep moving. With each day that passed, he saw more of Hinata in his own future. He couldn’t picture the court without Hinata flying through the air. He couldn’t picture his struggles without Hinata being there to keep pushing him forward or stay for extra practice. He couldn’t picture eating or walking home by himself anymore. Hinata was here, in front of him. He feels a stab of fear at the thought of Hinata slipping out of his life. He’s never felt afraid before and he doesn’t know how to hold on. For the first time, Kageyama is scared that he’ll be the one left behind. He secretly glances at Hinata’s side profile whenever he thought Hinata was looking away. His eyes trail down his body until they landed on his hand. Kageyama considers closing the distance between their hands and wrapping his larger one around Hinata’s. It was right there. He could reach out and touch it easily. He stares at it for a few seconds before he realizes what he was doing. He definitely didn’t just consider holding hands with Hinata as they walked. He blames Hinata for asking to see his hand in the first place. He pulls his eyes away and refocuses his eyes ahead of him. When they reached the diverged road, they wave to each other as they part ways for the night.

* * *

Hinata was right. They did win the next day and the day after that. They kept up their performance and flowed together. Standing side by side, they were able to pull off a major upset by beating Shiratorizawa in the finals. They made it. They were going to fly to the national stage. They were going to show everyone watching what they could do as partners. They’d show them that they were here and they would win.

* * *

As they stepped off of the bus and faced their empty high school building, Kageyama feels the weight of crushing defeat on his shoulders. He feels all of the disappointment, regret, and sadness that came along with it. 

He wanted to crawl out of the shadow of Karasuno reputation as a fallen powerhouse. He wanted to prove himself as a setter and even more, he wanted Hinata to prove his worth beyond the Little Giant’s legacy. 

Kageyama feels like he failed him. They had lost in the first round of nationals. It feels like all their hard work went down the drain. All of the training and hard won games were washed away. They were sent packing before they could even advance at nationals. It hurt to be sent home so soon, but with everything, there were winners and losers. 

It was late at night by the time the team returned from Tokyo. There was no celebration or meal to make up for their loss. They had a brief meeting where coach Ukai tried to cheer them up. He told them how proud he was for making it as far as they did and acknowledged all of their hard work. It was hard to focus on that when everyone was so exhausted. They were dismissed after a giant group hug and they scattered towards their homes to rest. 

Kageyama sullenly walks beside Hinata. He hears Hinata dragging his feet. Kageyama could relate. 

“Do you want to come over?” Hinata asks.

“Eh? Why? We stink and I just want to go home and sleep.”

“We can just hang out. It’ll make you feel better.” 

“I don’t think it will.”

“Kageyama.” Hinata grabs his arm, which forces him to stop  walking. He looks at him with a pointed stare. “Please just come over.”

Kageyama is silent for a second before he responds. “Okay.” 

He’s not entirely sure why he agrees. He’s tired, sore, and smells of stale sweat. At this point, he’s just ready to go home and sulk in his own bed. He’s not sure he has the energy to deal with whatever awaits him at the Hinata household. Honestly, he doesn’t have the energy to socialize with Hinata and keep his weird urges to himself. He might end up doing something stupid like running his fingers across Hinata’s cheek. Stupid. He doesn’t even know what they would do at Hinata’s house, but then again, he’s so worn out he almost doesn’t care. He can’t find it in himself to deny Hinata right now. 

By the time they got to Hinata’s house, most of his family is already asleep. His mom is the only one awake. She looks up from wiping down the counters as the door unlocks. They quietly step inside.

“Hi boys.”

“Hi mom. I just wanted to have Kageyama over for a little bit.” His mom nods. She has a sad, but knowing smile on her face. 

Kageyama bows. “Thank you for having me over so late, Hinata-san.” 

They walk up the stairs to Hinata’s room and the shorter boy shuts the door behind them. Hinata drops his bag and sits on the edge of the bed as Kageyama stood by the door. He’s only been in Hinata’s room a couple times and he never knows what to do. He doesn’t want to intrude on his space. He awkwardly shifts his weight from foot to foot. Hinata has slumped over with his elbows resting on his legs and his head in his hands. 

Kageyama balls his hands up. He knew what Hinata was feeling, but he wasn’t sure how to help. He decides to ignore the awkwardness he feels and crosses the room, dropping his bag as he went. He slowly sinks down on the bed next to the smaller boy. 

“We’ll fly higher next time.” Hinata removes his face from his hands and looks over at Kageyama with red rimmed eyes. His body slumped even more. 

“I’m sorry.” Kageyama gapes at him. 

“What the fuck are you apologizing for?”

“I kept getting blocked. We should’ve won that game. If it was Asahi or Tanaka, they would’ve gotten the ball over. You should’ve set the ball to them instead.”

Kageyama feels anger well inside of him. Sending the ball to Hinata wasn’t a mistake. He clenches his hands up in his lap.

“Shut up. Don’t say shit like that. We win and lose as partners, as a team. I chose to set to you because I trust you. I.. I believe in you to try your best. We failed, but we’ll work harder, and next time, we’re going to win.” Hinata sniffles. He didn’t say anything for a while. 

“I wanted to make our team proud.”

“Well, I’m proud of us, dumbass. I know they are too. We fought for every point.” Hinata nods. Kageyama sees more tears roll down his flushed cheeks. He feels hot tears stinging his own eyes. In a sudden flurry of red, Hinata has shifted his body and wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama feels his entire body tense. He continues to surprise him. Hinata’s head was resting on his shoulder. His hands were still fisted in his lap and he didn’t know what to do with them. He remains still in his spot on the bed. His heart aches in his chest. It battled between nervous flutters and crushing sadness at their loss. Kageyama had never comforted anyone before. He tried to release even breaths to control his heart rate. He slowly reaches a hand up to pat the red head on the back. Hinata’s body trembles with a hiccup and his arms tighten at the feeling of Kageyama’s hand on his back. 

Kageyama feels all of his will power slip away. He was so exhausted and upset, as well as angry at seeing Hinata like this. The eternal light of his team. Hinata was all laughter and smiles, happy cheers and energy. Hinata was not bitter disappointment and tears, or heartache and regret. He was meant to soar. Kageyama wished there was a way to fix it. All he could do was reach his hand up and run it through the plush orange hair at the nape of his neck. Hinata breathed in a shuttering breath and a tiny gasp. He couldn’t tell if it was from crying or the gentle touch. Kageyama ignores the thoughts that were telling him to stop and put some distance between them. He didn’t think he could stop either way. 

Hinata’s body eventually stopped shaking. He softens to the dark haired boys touch. Hinata breathes in the scent of deodorant and a long day of matches. He kept his arms wrapped around Kageyama’s neck for a second longer before he loosens his grip. His arms slid from around him and settles back by his side. He turns his body to face forward again. 

“Sorry, for doing that randomly,” Hinata mumbles.

“Stop apologizing, boke.” Hinata shifts on the bed. 

“I want to lay down.” Kageyama began standing up to leave.

“Okay, I’ll g-“

“No!” Kageyama jumps at the sudden loudness. Hinata has also slapped his hand onto Kageyama’s arm and holds him there in an iron grip.

“Sorry. P-please just stay.” Kageyama turns his body back towards Hinata. 

“Okay. Um.. Do you have a futon I can sleep on?” 

“Uh-um.. No. I can make space on mine though. You won’t even notice I’m there.” Kageyama weighs his options. Did he really want to share a bed with Hinata of all people? In the end, he didn’t have the energy to argue. If Hinata needed him here, who was he to say no? If Hinata was there for him, on and off the court, then Kageyama would be there for him too. It made sense in his mind because that’s what friends do. Right? 

“Okay. Can I shower at least?”

“Yeah, you can go first. The towels are in the closet. It’s the first door on your left in the hall.” Kageyama nods and grabs extra clothes from his duffle before he exited the room. He shuts Hinata’s bedroom door behind him and breathes out a sigh. What the hell just happened? He just agreed to stay over and Hinata also threw himself on him. He had touched Hinata. Kageyama realizes he was trembling slightly and takes a deep breath to calm down. 

If he thought the fluttering was intense when they touched hands briefly, it was nothing when compared to what he feels now. Each time he feels it, it becomes more and more difficult to make it go away. He didn’t know how to appease the itch in his chest and it feels like it’s getting out of control. He squeezes his eyes shut until it hurts and then shoves the feelings away. He shuffles down the hall until he reaches the small closet. He quickly grabs a towel and was about to close the closet when he saw what looked like a futon rolled up on the top shelf. He turns his head to glance back at Hinata’s door in confusion before looking back at the futon. He stares at it for a few seconds before slowly shutting the closet door. He decides to ignore what he saw and slips into the bathroom to finally wash off. 

When he came back into the room, he smelled fresh again. He had changed into extra gym clothes. Hinata got up to walk past him and shot him a small smile as he went. He was gone by the time Kageyama thought to awkwardly smile back. He purses his lips and inches towards the bed. Would it be rude to lay down if Hinata wasn’t here? He decides Hinata probably wouldn’t care and shuffles under the blanket. He rolls over on his side and faces the wall. He was hoping to fall asleep before Hinata came back so they wouldn’t have to have some awkward conversation about sleeping together. 

Kageyama shut his eyes to try and ease himself into sleep. He takes a deep breathe to try to calm his body, but it has the opposite effect. It smells. Everything smells like Hinata. The scent wafted into his nose, it was intoxicating. He was wrapped in a blanket full of the warm vanilla scented shampoo he used in the shower only a few minutes before. It had a hint of something else that Kageyama couldn’t put his finger on. Either way, all he could smell was Hinata. The pillow beneath him smelled exactly the same. Kageyama had smelled this before when Hinata was sitting close to him at lunch or when he ran up to him to annoy him. His chest tightens. He just wants to drift away into sleep and here he was, suffering because the bed smells like this idiot. He feels like he might shit his heart out of his ass at any second. He may even prefer that over the twisting feeling in his chest. Maybe if he got up now, he could make a run for it before Hinata got back. Just as he was weighing the odds of escaping without waking anyone up, he heard the door creak open on its hinges. Hinata pads into the room and shuffles around for a few seconds. Oh fuck, was he naked right now? He didn’t see Hinata grab any clothes before he left. He may have missed it though. He heard more shuffling and mumbling. Please don’t be naked. Kageyama didn’t know why the thought of that was making him want to escape out of the closest window. He’s seen him change in the locker room before, but the close proximity was kicking his ass. He was fucking glad he decided to face the wall when he got into bed. 

Kageyama’s brain was absolutely fried. He felt like it may begin to ooze out of ears and if he looked down, it would be melted all over the pillow. Kageyama slaps himself in his head for his childish thoughts and collects himself. He continues to push out even breaths to keep up the act that he’s sleeping. He hears Hinata walk closer to the bed and weight sink down on it. 

“Kageyama?” Hinata whispers. A few seconds passes. “Are you already asleep?” More silence. Hinata sighs and crawls under the blanket. Kageyama couldn’t tell if he was facing towards him or away from him. Minutes pass and he thought his heart had finally slowed down. 

That was true until he heard a small whisper, “Goodnight, Tobio.”

He was so fucked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was hard to write because i wasn’t sure what i wanted to include. i was conflicted on whether i wanted to include all the details of their matches, but o decided to focus more on the boys rather than the volleyball aspect of it. please let me know if i should include more of the games next time. - daisy


	11. Natsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys hang out with Natsu.

Kageyama wakes up with strands of hair in his mouth. He sputters and moves his head back in confusion. His eyes adjust to the low light in the room. His first realization was that the hair in his mouth was orange. The second was that he had his body curled around Hinata. Wait, Hinata? That didn’t make any sense. Why was Hinata in his room? He rolls onto his back and let’s his brain slowly wake up. 

Oh shit. He stayed over Hinata’s house and slept in the same bed. He must’ve rolled over onto his other side in the middle of the night. He groans quietly. He knew he probably should’ve mentioned the extra futon in the closet. Hinata must’ve forgotten it was in there. He was practically laying on top of Hinata for who knows how long. He hopes  Hinata didn’t wake up in the middle of the night and notice. He’d probably think it was weird. 

Kageyama flips over onto his stomach and shifts in the bed. He was trapped between the wall and Hinata’s body. He looked so small curled up. Kageyama caught himself staring at Hinata’s peaceful face. Although he was asleep, he looked happier than ever. He was glad considering Hinata’s mood from last night. 

Kageyama shifts again and starts shuffling down on the bed with his hands and knees. He hopes to escape before Hinata woke up. He was also hoping to avoid any awkwardness that amounted from practically cuddling Hinata like a plushy. It was a habit he hadn’t let go of since he was a child. Not that he would admit it, but sometimes he would fall asleep with his volleyball in his bed. He’d wake up curled around it in the morning. 

He continues slowly and quietly moving his body down the bed in hopes of making a quiet exit. 

Just as his legs slid off the bed, Hinata starts stirring in his sleep. Kageyama froze. Oh shit, please not right now, he thought to himself. Hinata rolls over towards the wall and flails his arm out. When he feels nothing next to him, he lets out a loud breath and rolls on his back. Please don’t wake up. Hinata rubs his eyes lazily and they slowly opened. He glances around the room and then looks down. Kageyama shut his eyes in embarrassment. Why did he have to wake up at that second? He couldn’t have waited for two more seconds? He curses at Hinata in his head. 

“Um... Kageyama? What’re you doing?” He was momentarily surprised by Hinata’s sleepy voice. It was slightly deeper than his normally higher toned one. Kageyama let’s his face fall into the mattress. He lets out a pained groan. Why did he always have to end up in awkward situations like this? He lifts his head slightly.

“I was just..um..trying to get out of the bed without waking you up. I should probably head home.” Hinata was quiet for a second before he slaps a hand against his mouth. He looks like he could barely restrain himself from laughing. 

“So, why’re you hanging off the bed by my feet? You could’ve just climbed over me.” Kageyama smacks himself in the face with his hand. Hinata couldn’t contain himself anymore and chokes out a laugh at his predicament. Kageyama glares at him, which only causes him to laugh even harder, shaking the bed. Kageyama scooches himself fully off the bed and stands up. He grabs a pillow that fell on the ground in his efforts and throws it directly at Hinata’s head. It hit him in the face.

“Bleh! Mean grumpy-yama!” Kageyama just grumbles under his breath in response. “Are you leaving right now?”

“Yeah, I’ve over stayed my welcome. Your mom thinks I was only staying for a little bit.”

“Nonsense! My mom loves you! I’m sure she’d be okay if you at least stayed for breakfast.”

“I don’t know..” Kageyama mumbles. Hinata looks up at him with pleading eyes. Kageyama rolls his eyes. 

“If you ask her and she says yes then I’ll stay, but I’m leaving after that.” Kageyama levels him with a stern stare. Hinata raises an eyebrow like he doesn’t believe him, but still has a smile plastered on his face. The shorter boy scrambles out of bed and heads for the door. 

Kageyama was left staring after him. He was glad Hinata had shut the door behind him because he felt his entire face turn red. Hinata was wearing a loose white t-shirt and only his boxers. Unlike Kageyama, he didn’t have an extra layer of shorts. He definitely didn’t just have his body pressed up against that, and he definitely didn’t stare at his ass just now. 

Kageyama sat back on the bed as he waits for Hinata to come back into the room. When he did, he bursts in with a big smile. 

“She said she doesn’t mind and you can stay as long as you like.” Kageyama scowls at the sudden loud noise so early in the morning. He follows Hinata out of the room and down the stairs. 

Hinata’s mom was already standing in the kitchen. She was warming up some leftover rice and miso soup. It also smells like she’s cooking fish in the oven. 

Kageyama stands behind Hinata and looks around awkwardly. He never knew what to do in these situations. He took a small step back. He felt like he was looming over the smaller boy. He heard small footsteps stomping down the stairs and turns around to see Natsu charging at him. 

“Yama! I didn’t know you were here! Was Hinata hiding you from me?” She pouts up at him and crosses her arms across her chest. Kageyama shakes his head quickly. 

“I got here really late last night. That’s why you didn’t see me.” The tiny red head nods. She was still slightly pouting. 

“Hmph.” She suddenly perks up again and starts jumping up and down. “Do you want to see my spikes? I’m much better now.” 

Kageyama put on his best smile, hoping it wouldn’t scare her, and nods. She didn’t waver at all and continues beaming at him. She grabs his much larger hand and starts dragging him towards the door to the backyard. He lurches forward for a second. She was much stronger than she looked for such a tiny person. 

When they got outside, she releases his hand and grabs a ball off the ground. She walks back over to him and stretches out her arms with the ball. She looks up at him expectantly.

He takes it and stares back at Hinata warily, who was watching with a barely hidden grin. Kageyama gently tosses the ball in his hands so that Natsu can reach. She jumps up and spikes it forward. It didn’t go very far, but it was definitely still a spike. She turns around and beams at him. He nods in approval and gives her a small smile. 

He tosses her a few more balls and she spikes all of them. She’d definitely be a great player in the future if she continues to play like this. 

Eventually, Hinata’s mom came out to tell them breakfast was ready. They sat down to eat and Kageyama feels surprisingly happy. He was enjoying his time with Hinata and his family. They always made him feel welcome. In the few times he’s been here, he noticed Hinata’s dad was never around. He wants to ask why that is, but he doesn’t want to intrude. He continues eating quietly and finished off his meal. 

When everyone was done, he helps clean up the dishes and thanks Hinata’s mom for having him over. He was about to ask Hinata if he could get his stuff from Hinata’s room when Natsu cuts in.

“Yama, can we go play games now?” Kageyama hesitates. He really didn’t want to overstay his welcome. He looks up at Hinata and his mom. They both nod and he relents. It couldn’t hurt to stay for a few games.

They end up in the living room with Hinata’s switch set up on the TV. They played Super Smash Bros. Kageyama chose to play as Link and Hinata played as Kirby. He ended up beating the shit out of Hinata every time. 

“Wahhhh! No fair! Why are you so good at this? Have you played this before?” Hinata eyes him suspiciously. 

“No.”

“You lie!”

“I literally haven’t played before. You just suck.” Hinata punches Kageyama in the side and falls back on the couch. Natsu giggles in his lap. 

“You suck, onii-chan!” Natsu mocks.

“Don’t say that, Natsu!” Hinata points a finger at Kageyama. “Don’t turn her on me.” Kageyama laughs behind his hand. “I didn’t do anything!” Natsu continues laughing and crawls out of her brothers lap. She climbs into his lap and stares up at him adoringly. Kageyama didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t used to children liking him, much less cuddling up to him. He feels his heart warm to the young girl. 

They continue playing Smash for a while before switching to Animal Crossing. Kageyama watches Hinata’s tiny orange character run around on the screen. Natsu had fallen asleep on Kageyama at some point. After a few hours passed, Hinata shut the console off. Kageyama sat there looking down at Natsu. He didn’t want to wake her up. Hinata softly lifts Natsu off his lap and carries her to her room. 

When he comes back, he has Kageyama’s bag on his shoulder. They walk to the door together. 

“Thanks for staying over.”

“Yeah, thanks for having me over.”

Hinata smiles at him, “Bye, Kageyama. I’ll tell Natsu you left when she wakes up.”

“Okay. Bye, Hinata.”

Hinata waves as he walks off. Kageyama starts walking home. When he finally walks inside, his parents were sitting in the living room.

“Hi, honey. How was the tournament?” His mom asked.

“It was alright.”

“That’s good. Where did you go last night?”

“I stayed at a friends house. It was too late to walk home.” They look at him in surprise. 

“Was it that teammate you brought over during the storm?”

“Uh.. yeah.” Kageyama twists his bag strap in his hand. He was about to tell them he was going upstairs when his dad stops him.

“I’m glad you’ve made friends, Tobio. Just don’t let it distract you.” Kageyama frowns. His father has always pushed Kageyama to work harder in volleyball. He just nods.

“I won’t.” He turns around to walk upstairs. He places his bag in the corner and plops onto his bed. Hinata was right. He did feel better after spending the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy! sorry for the confusion with the dates in this fanfic. if you didn’t see my update from last chapter, i just wanted to clarify that the fanfic is set in october/november before nationals. nationals was held in mid-december. so, it’s still december for right now! hope you enjoyed and thank you to everyone who commented. i really appreciate it. let me know your thoughts! - daisy
> 
> *update: also as a small note, i forgot to mention, but i always play as kirby in super smash and i literally love animal crossing. i’ve had it since the wii days.*


	12. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first year comes to a close and a new chapter begins.

Kageyama is enjoying his last day of classes. He is only a few hours away from being free to do whatever he wanted over winter break. That meant no more calc or practice for at least a couple weeks. Kageyama doesn’t mind practice at all, but his body needs some rest after such an intense season. He also knows he’ll be practicing on his own anyway. 

Kageyama is on his way to the bathroom during his second period. The halls are completely empty. He was glossing over his home work out routines for winter break when he heard shuffling around the corner. He snaps out of his thoughts and slowly walks around the corner. Kageyama nearly sprints the other way until he realizes he recognizes the people on the ground. That was definitely Yamaguchi laying on his back with Tsukki on top of him. There were papers scattered all around them. Kageyama felt himself grin as he stares down at them. This is too good. 

They were clearly too entranced with each other to notice that someone was standing ten feet from them. Just as it looked like Tsukki was leaning in, Kageyama clears his throat and smirks. 

“Shouldn’t you two save this for after school hours?” Kageyama was going to thoroughly enjoy this. 

Yamaguchi gasps loudly in the empty hall and Tsukki’s eyes look up in panic. They quickly turn into anger as he scrambles off of Yamaguchi and stands up.Kageyama gives him a smug smile and simply raises his eyebrows. Tsukki looks like he wants to deck him. Yamaguchi wasn’t far behind and jumps onto his feet as well. He practically stands behind Tsukki.

“Hey, Kageyama...” The freckled boy looks like he may explode of embarrassment on the spot. He stares down at the ground with a red face. Kageyama feels slightly bad for him, but he also feels a strong urge to openly cackle in Tsukki’s face. 

“Hi, Yamaguchi. What’re you two up to?” 

“None of your fucking business. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll suffocate you with a pillow at our next training camp,” Tsukki hissed. 

“It became my business when you’re clinging to Yamaguchi like a body pillow in the middle of the halls.”

“I hate you.” Kageyama waves off the comment. He wants to laugh so bad. 

“You should see your face right now.”

“Fuck off, you ugly bastard.”

“Suree, I’m the ugly one. Well, I’ll let you get back to dry humping each other now.”

“I’ll fucking kill you.”

Kageyama shrugs and can’t hold back his laugh. “Violent today, aren’t we?” Tsukishima flips him off and bends over to pick up the papers. Kageyama turns around and walks off to the bathroom. As he enters, Yamaguchi comes in after him. 

“You won’t actually tell anyone, right Kageyama? I was being clumsy and I just tripped. Tsukki tried to grab me so I wouldn’t fall, but I ended up dragging him down with me. It’s not his fault.” Yamaguchi looks like he felt so guilty. Kageyama softens. 

“No, I just wanted to piss Tsukki off. I’m not that cruel. Just an accident, right?” Yamaguchi nods quickly. He looks like he was about to leave, but hesitates at the door.

“Hey, Kageyama?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you do it with Hinata?”

“Do what?”

“I don’t know. Just touch him and be close to each other or whatever. Whenever I’m anywhere near Tsukki, I feel like I might spontaneously combust.” Kageyama feels his face flare up. He could definitely relate to that feeling. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I-uh.. noticed you guys holding hands at the training camp and um.. cuddling on the bus.” Kageyama feels like he should be the one to combust right now.

“It’s not like that. Hinata’s just like that with everyone.” Yamaguchi looked at him skeptically. “Don’t worry about Tsukki. I don’t think he minds being close to you as much as you may think.” Yamaguchi seems to think over Kageyama’s words for a few seconds. He let a small smile grace his face. 

“Thanks, Kageyama. You’re really not as bad as everyone makes you out to be.”

“Uh.. thanks, I think.” 

“Good luck with Hinata.” Before he could respond, Yamaguchi disappears out of the door. Kageyama smacks himself on the forehead. Why did everyone have to bring up Hinata? He ignores it and proceeds to finally use the bathroom. 

* * *

The team was gathered in the gym for their final practice for the season. It was also their last practice with the third years. Kageyama felt sadness tug at his heart. He had finally become a part of a team. It felt like a family and it was ending so soon. He wishes he could’ve realized this sooner rather than feeling like an outsider for months after he joined. 

During practice, Daichi continues to push them as hard as ever and for that, Kageyama is grateful. He wants things to remain the same, if only for one more day. They practiced drills and ran laps around the gym. 

Kageyama is practicing his serve and Hinata is set up to receive. The ginger boy jumps too far forward and the ball bounces up, barely missing his face, and flies off to the side. 

“Oi, Hinata-boke. Get yourself behind the ball. You’re way to far forward, you lousy idiot.” 

“I know, bakayama! Just serve another one.” Kageyama’s serve was harder this time. It bounces right off of Hinata’s arms.

“Holy shit. You have to use your arms as a platform. They look like wet ass noodles right now.”

“It’s not my fault you wanted to knock my arms off.” Kageyama was now standing by the net, shoving a finger in Hinata’s face. Hinata was waving his arms around and yelling back. Tanaka and Noya giggled from the sidelines. The third years watched them with a gentle smile. They looked like they were reminiscing on all the arguments the two had gotten into in the past year. 

Daichi clears his throat. “All right guys. Let’s just wrap things up for the night.”

Everyone gathers onto one side of the court and settles down. Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei speak first. 

Takeda starts them off, “I want to congratulate our third years for graduating and wish them luck in the future. You each served as a mentor to every member on the team. You ensured everyone kept their grades up and never let anyone slack off on the court either. Your attention to detail and faith has caused all of us to grow. Each of us has grown stronger with your endless bravery guiding us. You stepped up when the team was feeling down and forced us to push our boundaries. I never thought I would learn this much as your advisor and I am so proud of you boys. I am grateful to see all of you grow and watch over you. Thank you.” The team claps for him. Coach Ukai then takes over. 

“You boys were truly a mess when I first came to this school. We had to work for every play and quick. However, I always believed in you. I never doubted your ability to succeed. You proved your strength by climbing higher and higher. You exceeded everyone’s expectations, including mine. You proved to other schools that we are not fallen crows. We are not a fallen powerhouse. Karasuno is a force to be reckoned with. You won in the face of so much doubt and hardship and went to nationals. You beat teams that looked down on you and you never let them break you down. Here’s to another great season, and congratulations again to our third years. Thank you for having me as your coach. I’ll hand it off to your captain.” The team cheers again and Daichi steps forward. 

“Thank you Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei. It’s finally the end of the season and I wanted to thank you guys for all of your hard work. I watched you all grow with every practice and match. Whether it was an official game or otherwise, you all stepped up to the plate and proved yourselves as players. It was hard and I know that you all wanted to fly higher at nationals, but I’m so proud of us for making it that far. I want to thank you all again for persevering and taking Karasuno to nationals. We’ve wanted to prove ourselves for so long and you all made that dream happen. Suga, Kiyoko, Asahi, and I are so excited to see you grow in the next year.” Suga, Kiyoko, and Asahi nod from behind him. 

“We are still a family. Even though we won’t be here for every nice receive or perfect serve, we’ll be watching you and cheering you on. We’ll be there for your games and we want to support you in any way we can. You can always come to us if you need anything. I trust all of you to continue working hard and carry on our legacy. Tanaka, Noya, Ennoshita, Kinoshita, Narita, I am relying on you to act as mentors. I want you to guide the new members of the team and the first years.” The second years shout their affirmation. 

“First years, I expect you to listen to your senpais and work together. I know that a few of you still have issues with each other and since I’m leaving, my wish is that you will learn to be friends in my absence. I expect to see this change in the next year.” Daichi eyes  Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kageyama, and Hinata. The first years glance at each other and begrudgingly nod. Daichi continues. 

“This was a great season and I’m grateful that we were able to stay and be a part of it. It wouldn’t have been possible without any of you. I am so proud to call myself captain of this team. And with that, I would like to nominate two of you to take over our positions.” There were shouts of ‘thank you, captain!’ The team settles down when Suga steps forward and clears his throat. 

“Ennoshita, you have been an essential player to our team. You were there to support the first years in their training and kept the second years in line. Whether it was on or off the court, you ensured Karasuno’s success. You dedicated time and effort to tutoring your peers and extra practice. You are the foundation of our team. Even when you wanted to give up, you came back stronger, and ready to prove yourself. You trained hard and it showed in the moments you were on the court. You have proven yourself as a leader and we believe you’re ready to take on the role of captain, if you’re up for it.” Ennoshita stands up and looks at the third years with a wavering smile. 

“Yes, I accept. Thank you. I will continue to work hard and lead this team. We’ll make you proud.” He looks between Suga, Kiyoko, Asahi, and Daichi. They smile back at him and hug as a group. The team cheers and congratulates Ennoshita. When they step back, Suga speaks up again.

“As for vice captain, we have decided that Tanaka should take my place. Tanaka, you are our next ace. I want you to power through any obstacle that may stand in our way. We hope that you will stand by Ennoshita in leading Karasuno to victory yet again. Your strength and mental fortitude drive us forward each day. I expect you to continue to support your team and set them straight. Tanaka, if you’re ready, we nominate you as vice captain.” Tanaka looks close to tears. 

“Thank you, Daichi, Kiyoko, Suga, and Asahi for believing in me. I will work hard to prove myself as vice captain and carry on all of your hard work.” They gather in for another group hug and Daichi slaps him on the back. Tanaka squeezes back and they all hear some sniffling. Noya is practically wailing his head off in his cheering for Tanaka. 

Asahi then steps forward. “Um.. I just wanted to thank you for accepting me back onto the team as your ace. You are all so strong. You step onto the court with confidence and never shy away from a challenge. I have learned so much from all of you, and I push myself to match your strength. I hope to see you all grow and I’m excited to see how high Karasuno can fly.” As Asahi finishes speaking, everyone cheers. There were shouts of ‘that’s our ace!’ and ‘thank you, Asahi-san!’ 

Finally, Kiyoko quietly spoke. “Thank you for sharing this experience with me. I am so glad I got share in your wins and losses. I am grateful that I was able to witness all of your growth. Even if I could only support you from the sidelines, I am proud to be your manager. I believe Yachi is ready to take my place and I know she’ll do a wonderful job in supporting all of you.” Yachi looks like she’s quaking with everyone’s eyes on her.

“Thank you, Kiyoko-san. I am so happy I get to serve as your manager. It really is an honor.” The third years hug her. She was openly crying and hugged them back. “Everyone bring it in for a hug,” Daichi announces. The entire team stands up and gathers for a massive group hug. There was lots of tears and snot. They separate and they’re dismissed by Daichi for the last time to get changed and head home. It felt okay though. They would see each other again soon for a team dinner. 

By the time everyone had changed, the first years were the only ones left in the club room. The third and second years had left together already. Hinata and Yamaguchi were chatting off to the side. 

“Hey, we’re gonna wait for you guys outside.” Tsukishima and Kageyama grunt in response. The shorter boys exit the room and the door slams behind them. 

Kageyama quickly finishes changing, so he wouldn’t have to speak to Tsukki. He grabs his bag and reaches for the door handle. It won’t turn. His face scrunches in confusion. He readjusts his grip on the handle and attempts to turn it with more force this time. It doesn’t budge. He scrambles with it and turns it every which way. Nothing was happening. What the fuck?

“You seriously can’t work a fucking door knob? I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“Shut the fuck up you little shit. It’s fucking stuck. You try it.” 

“I fucking will.” Tsukishima steps forward to force the door open. It was jammed. 

“What the fuck? What did you do?”

“I didn’t do shit you asshole. I told you already, the damn door is stuck.”

“I bet you set this up.”

“Why the fuck would I want to be stuck in a room with you?”

“I don’t fucking know? I blame your stupid boyfriend. I bet he slammed the door too hard.”

“Oi! Hinata is not my fucking boyfriend. Blame your boyfriend.”

“Didn’t I already tell you to fuck off! We are not dating and what I do with Yamaguchi is not your business.” He shoves Kageyama. Kageyama regains his balance and shoves him back. Tsukki tumbles back, bumping into the desk in the room. 

“I just can’t get away from you today, can I?”

“You can’t get away from Yamaguchi either apparently.” 

“Do you ever think about the fact that I could fucking strangle you with the volleyball net right now?” 

“Your bony ass arms can’t even lift it off the ground. They might fucking break.”

“I should beat the shit out of you right now, bitch.”

Tsukki lunges forward and shoves Kageyama to the ground. He fell on top of him. They start wrestling with each other. They rolled around the floor as they tried to swipe at each other. Kageyama flips them over so he was on top. He rears his hand back to punch Tsukki when the door slams open. 

“What the heck is going on?” Hinata was standing with his hand on the door. Kageyama’s hand had stills in the air. Both of the boys look over at the spiker. Yamaguchi was peering over his shoulder. 

“Nothing. We were just having a small argument.” Kageyama gets off of Tsukki and stands up. He straightens himself out and picks up his bag. Tsukki stands up after him and does the same. 

“It didn’t look like a small argument,” Yamaguchi pipes up. 

“Yeah, well, it happens,” Tsukki responds. 

Hinata looks furious. “Daichi was just telling us to get along fifteen minutes ago. If we’re not gonna be friends, we at least need to act like it and work together.” 

“Yeah, I agree. You’re both disrespecting Daichi’s wishes. If I can get along with Hinata, you two can get along with each other too.”

“Hey! We’ve always gotten along!”

“Yeah, sorry Hinata.”

Kageyama and Tsukki look down at the ground. “Whatever.” They both mumble simultaneously. 

“No, it’s not whatever! You idiots need to apologize to each other. Do it, right now, or I’m telling Daichi and Suga.”

The taller boys gape at him. Who knew such a tiny person could be this loud, or brave for that matter. 

“But-“ 

“No. I’ll tell too.” Yamaguchi cut off Tsukki before he could finish. Kageyama and Tsukki glare at each other, but relented. They both mumble a quiet apology. 

“Okay, good. Let’s all go get meat buns then, as _friends_.” Hinata put extra emphasis on the last word. 

They walk together in their usual pairs and stop by Ukai’s convenience store for the food. As they took their first bite and stood together outside, it felt like some of the tension had finally lifted. Now that they’ve argued and hit each other, it feels like they got out their pent up issues. 

“To another great season. We’re gonna win nationals next time, as a _team_ ,” Hinata declared. They all nod in agreement. 

Yamaguchi and Hinata drift off into their own conversation again.

“You know you’re still a bastard, right?”

“Yeah, so are you, you lanky asshole.” They give each other a quick nod and slightly smirk. A new chapter was upon them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! thank you all for continuing to post wonderful comments. i love reading all of them. it motivates me to keep writing. i am so excited for these boys to develop and bond together. also, i apologize for all of my grammatical errors. i write this fanfic on my phone, so sometimes autocorrect fucks me in the ass. it doesn’t help that i don’t proofread though lmaoo, so i apologize for any confusing errors. also, are we enjoying tsukkiyama? should i tag them as a relationship and write more about them in the story? as always, please let me know your thoughts! - daisy


	13. Scarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gifts and snow.

Kageyama groans loudly into his dark room as he wakes up. What the fuck was going on? He hears a loud buzzing noise from under the bed. He rolls over to switch his lamp on. He didn’t even know what time it is. It’s still dark out, so why would his phone be buzzing? Did he accidentally turn an alarm on? Then again, why would he set an alarm? That didn’t make sense. It’s winter break. 

He crawls out of bed and shoves his arm underneath it in a dazed state and flails it around until his fingers touch his phone. He grabs it and quickly sits back up, hitting his head on his bedside table. 

“Fuck,” he grinds out. He rubs his hand on the spot he hit his head and glances down at his phone. It’s Hinata. Of fucking course. He feels like he’s cursed. Somehow, anything that has to do with Hinata has caused him bodily harm lately. First it was the puke all over him, then it was trading blows with Tsukki on the club room floor, and now it’s smacking his head on a table so hard he may have a concussion. If that wasn’t enough, he feels like he’s out of breath every time he’s around the smaller boy. If he didn’t end up getting himself injured, Hinata would indirectly kill him with his presence. What has his life come to?

At the last second, Kageyama accepts the call. He holds the phone up to his ear and lets out a deep breath. 

“What the fuck are you calling me for at this hour?”

Hinata lets out a squeak. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes and drags a hand down his face. “ I just hit my head on a very sharp corner of my table because of you.”

“What?”

“I hit my fucking head because you called me.”

“How?”

“My phone was under my bed.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it must’ve fallen off my bed while I was SLEEPING.”

“So then how’d you hit your head?”

“Because I was under the bed getting my phone and then I hit it sitting back up.”

“But-“

“If you ask me another question right now, I’ll rip your face off.” Hinata fake gasped in fear.

“Kageyama! Mean! I was just checking to see if you were okay.”

“Well, I would’ve been if you didn’t call me in the middle of the night. So, what? I’m here now. What did you call me for?”

“I already told you, I couldn’t fall asleep.” Kageyama let out a long suffering sigh. 

“Okay, so, what now?”

“I just wanted to talk again.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” He’s feeling particularly grumpy tonight. That could mostly be attributed to the fact that he’s just had a long week of finals and practice. 

“Fine, can we at least hang out tomorrow?”

“I see you every day at school and now you want to take away my winter break too?” Kageyama lets out a whine. He wasn’t being serious, but he really didn’t care. He just wants to go back to sleep. 

“Fine. I’ll invite Yachi instead-“

“No! I never said I wouldn’t go.” He could hear Hinata barely containing a snicker.

“What? Do you not like hanging out with Yachi?” Kageyama wants to say no, but controls himself. 

“I do. I just don’t know her that well.”

“Well maybe if you actually talked to her you would. If we all hung out, you’d get to know her better.”

“Don’t make me hang up. I hate being social.”

“Oh my god, really? I hadn’t noticed, stingy-yama.” Hinata laughed. 

“Fuck you. I’m hanging up!”

“No! No! Fine, I was just kidding about bringing Yachi. Do you want to hang out or not?” Kageyama stands up from the floor and lays back on his bed. He shuffles back under his sheets and shuts the light off. 

“Fine. Whatever. What do you even want to do?”

“You remember when we went downtown?”

“Yeah, how could I fucking forget when you ate your body weight in candy, even though I told you not to, and then proceeded to projectile vomit ALL over me.”

“Don’t be dramatic! I did not throw up all over you! I just got a little bit on your shoes.”

“A little bit?! I could practically feel it soaking into my socks.” Kageyama flinches at how loud his voice is and makes a mental note to quiet down. He doesn’t feel like dealing with his parents waking up. 

“Ew. Nasty, Kageyama. That was probably the rain.”

“Don’t tell me what it was or wasn’t. It was still your fault.”

“Sure, sure. The candy was good either way.” He mumbles under his breath.

“Tch. Are you gonna tell me where we’re going or what?”

“Oh, yeah! There’s this cafe I saw last time we were there. We walked right by it because we were already getting ramen, but I figured now would be a great time to go. It’s winter break after all, and we can get hot chocolate or something! I bet they have warm milk.” He could hear Hinata’s voice raise an octave in an effort to try to tempt him. Warm milk did sound good and he has always liked pastries. 

“Hmm.. I don’t know.” It wouldn’t hurt to make Hinata wait a little longer, since he had to wake up for this nonsense.

“Please, Kageyama. It’ll be soo fun. Plus, it’s almost Christmas. We can get gifts while we’re there.”

“Maybe. I’ll consider it.” 

“So-“ Kageyama hangs up the phone. He chuckles to himself. Now they’re even for making his head throb. He’d leave him in suspense. He hears his phone vibrate again as Hinata tried to call him back, but he shuts it off and rolls over. He laughs to himself and shut his eyes. 

* * *

When he turns his phone on the next morning, Hinata has blown his phone up with spam texts. They varied from telling him to pick up the phone to cursing him for hanging up. They eventually slow down and he settles on telling him the time and location to meet. 

He was more tired than he originally thought, considering Hinata wanted to meet in an hour and he had just woken up. He rubs his eyes blearily and rolls off his bed. He stumbles over to his closet and looks through his clothes. This was always a predicament. He feels awkward in his body. He didn’t know what looked good on him. He decides on a grey cable knit sweater, black jeans, and his winter jacket. He plans to wear the blue scarf his mom gave him last year for Christmas for extra warmth. He set out his clothes and hopped into the shower to rinse off. He brushes his teeth and glances up at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t sure why, but he wonders if he should do something with his hair. It’s been the same since he was a child. He was in high school now and he thinks he looks quiet plain. Sometimes, he thinks his blue eyes look nice, but that was it. He had inherited his height, eyes, and hair from his dad. He got his nose and lips from his mom. He turns away from the mirror and gets changed in his room. 

He grabs his wallet and walks down the stairs. He told his mom he was going into town with Hinata and kissed her on the cheek. She smiles warmly at him. He was about to open the front door when his dad stops him.

“Where are you going?”

“I told mom I was going out with Hinata.”

“Again, shouldn’t you be conditioning for next season after your performance at nationals?” Kageyama frowns. He, of all people, knew that they could’ve done better in the first round. He thought they still performed well and tried their hardest though. 

“I will. It’s my first day of break. I’m only going out for a little bit.”

“Just don’t lose sight of your goals, Tobio.” 

“I’m not. I’m leaving now. Bye, dad.” He opens the door and walks out. He tries to push the negative feelings away. He wants to enjoy his day. 

* * *

Kageyama checks his phone to make sure he’s going to the right place. He didn’t see Hinata anywhere in sight. He looks around the street for a red head of hair. He still didn’t see him and glances down at his phone again. Hinata hadn’t texted him all morning. He wonders if he was going to show up. He fumbles with the sleeve of his sweater as he waits outside. It was chilly out and he hid half of his face behind his scarf. It was lightly snowing and he felt a few flurries fall on his face. 

Kageyama was facing away from the store when he hears Hinata’s voice. 

“Kageyama!” Hinata jogs up to him. He had a light pink sweatshirt on under his winter coat and a black beanie covering his red hair. His cheeks and nose were flushed from the cold. He looks like he was shivering even though he was layered up. He didn’t want to admit it, but he looked adorable all bundled up. He swats the thought away. It was Hinata that he was thinking about.

“You’re late again.”

“Well I live on a mountain, unlike you.”

“Mhm. Should we go inside?”

“Yeah! I’m so excited.” They open the door and they’re hit with the scent of baked goods. The hostess shows them to a table by the window. They look over the small menu. Kageyama wants to get a chocolate croissant with warm milk. Hinata decides on a cheese danish and hot chocolate. As they wait for the waiter to come over, they sat and chatted about their workout plans for break. They agreed to practice with each other when they could. They suddenly heard a scuffle in the back of the cafe and Kageyama’s mouth dropped open in shock. The tall auburn haired boy was arguing with a shorter boy with darker hair. They could hear their whispering from the table. 

“I do not want to serve that table.”

“It’s your fucking job.”

“Can you please cover for me? I’ll run any other table.”

“No. I have my own shitty job. Go do yours.” The taller boy pouts and turns away towards the table. He walks up to them with a fake smile on his face. There’s resentment lingering in his eyes, but he passes it off as friendly. 

“Oikawa-san. What’re you doing here?” Kageyama asks. 

“Working, obviously.”

“I didn’t know you were still in Miyagi. I thought you would’ve left for college by now.” Hinata adds.

“Well, if you wanted to know, I’m not going to college. I’m actually going to Argentina to train.” He looks at Kageyama with a smug smile. Kageyama gives him a weird look in return. He didn’t really understand the decision, but he knew Argentina had a strong team. 

“Oh. That’s good Oikawa-san,” Hinata responds.

“So, chibi-chan, what’re you doing here with my kouhai?” He levels a glare at Kageyama. Kageyama glares back. Hinata coughs to relieve some of the tension. 

“We’re just hanging out and Christmas shopping! We saw this cafe the last time we were here and wanted to stop by.”

“Hmm. So a date?” Hinata chokes and starts coughing. 

“Breath you idiot,” Kageyama says. 

“N-no, it’s not a date. We’re friends now.”

“Mhm. That’s interesting. I didn’t think Tobio-chan had any friends.” 

“Oi-“

“So, what would you like to order today?” Kageyama shuts his mouth and sighs.

They order their food. “I’ll be back with you food soon.” He winks at Hinata and disappears into the back. 

Kageyama was still scowling with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“So, do you know what you want to buy for your parents for Christmas?” Hinata asks. He looks awkward in his seat now when he had been smiling before Oikawa walked over. 

“I’m not sure yet. I was probably going to get my mom some candles. She loves stuff like that. My dad is tricky. I’ll probably buy him a new tie or something.”

“Ooh, okay I see. I was going to buy my mom some new house slippers and Natsu a paint set. She’s been into art lately.” Kageyama nods. He had seen her drawing while he was over before. He also felt the urge to bring up Hinata’s dad, but he wasn’t sure if the conversation would make him uncomfortable. 

“My dad hasn’t been around since I was a kid.” Oh, fuck. Had he said that out loud? “Yeah, you said it out loud.” Kageyama wants to smack himself. If he wasn’t in public, he probably would have. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“It’s okay. I’m not uncomfortable talking about it. I don’t remember much about him. He left early on, marriage issues or something. It’s always just been my mom and Natsu.”

“Oh.. thanks for telling me.” Hinata nods. They sit in silence and look around the shop. Occasionally, Kageyama would make eye contact with Hinata and then quickly look away. He was scared to stare directly at him for some reason. He felt like he didn’t want Hinata to stare at his face for too long. The irrational side of his brain thought he may see something he didn’t like, but then again, it was just Hinata. It didn’t really matter if he didn’t like his face. 

Oikawa came back with the food and asked if they needed anything else. It sounded very forced, but he still remained polite. Kageyama considers that Oikawa might’ve spit in his food, but tries to ignore the childish thought. 

He thoroughly enjoys his food, even if he wouldn’t tell Oikawa that. Hinata hums as he eats and has a small bit of custard on the side of his mouth. Kageyama is entranced by his lips as they chewed. Hinata lifts his cup of hot chocolate and they curl around the lip of the mug. Hinata suddenly looks up at him and flushes. 

“Is there something on my face?” 

“U-uh.. yeah. You have something on the side of your mouth.”

“Oh!” Hinata reaches up and brushes the wrong side with his sleeve. Kageyama reaches  across the table with his sweater sleeve and wipes it off. He quickly retracts his hand. He didn’t know why he did that rather than letting Hinata do it. He felt like his mom. She always used to do that when he was growing up. 

“Sorry, it was still on your face.” 

“It’s okay, thanks.” He didn’t look okay. Hinata’s face was the same shade as his hair. 

Kageyama feels a blush on his own cheeks and goes back to picking at his food.

When they finish up, they left their money on the table and got up to leave. Oikawa comes  out from the back just in time to see them leaving. He waves  at them. “Bye, chibi-chan.” Iwaizumi came out from the back and waved too. 

“Bye, Oikawa-san. Bye, Iwaizumi-san.”

They step outside and the cold breeze hits them immediately. Hinata’s body involuntarily shivers. Kageyama purses his lips.

“Are you cold?”

“No, not really. It’s just a little windy.”

“You should layer up more.”

“I tried. I couldn’t find my scarf.” Hinata frowns and then tilts his head. 

“You know, I just noticed this, but that scarf really suits your eyes.” Kageyama’s heart convulses. He wishes this fluttering feeling would just calm down. He had felt it before he even left the house. 

“Um.. thanks. I like your beanie.”

“Thanks!” Hinata beams up at him. 

They walked down the street and stopped in a few shops. They helped each other select gifts. They argued over which gifts were better, but eventually settled down when they got strange looks from other shoppers. Some of the older ones glared. 

By the time they were done, their arms were loaded with bags and they were on their way home. When they were halfway there, Hinata was still shivering. He looks so cold. 

“Stop for a second.” Hinata looks at him with confusion in his amber eyes. Kageyama drops his bags on the ground and steps forward to face Hinata. The shorter boy stands completely still and stares up at him. There were a few snowflakes that fell onto his eyelashes. He didn’t know what drove him forward, but Kageyama unwinds his scarf from his neck and softly wraps it around the ginger boy. He looks away. 

“What’s this for?”

“You’re shaking, dumbass. You’re obviously cold.”

“I don’t want to take your scarf though!”

“I’m not letting you keep it, boke. My mom gave it to me. Just keep it for now. You can give it back to me when we practice together.” 

“Okay.” Hinata reaches his hand up to feel the fabric and smiles. Kageyama picks his bags up again. They walk to the split in the road and say their goodbyes. It turned out to be a fun day. 

* * *

The next morning, Kageyama wakes to his phone loudly buzzing on his bed. Not this again. He looks down at the screen, and as expected, it’s Hinata. He’s the only one who ever actually calls or texts him anyway. He turns his head and slams his finger on the accept button. He clicks the speaker button afterwards so he doesn’t have to hold his phone to his face.

“What now?”

“Can you come outside?”

”What? Are you outside my damn house?”

”Uhhh.. yeah? Come outside.”

“Right now? It’s fucking cold.”

“Well put your coat on!” Kageyama curses him in his head for waking him up yet again. He groans loudly for effect and gets out of his bed. He slides sweatpants on and throws his jacket on over his t-shirt. He trudges down the stairs and towards the front door. 

“I’ll be right back,” he mumbles to his parents. They exchange weird looks, but say nothing. He opens the front door and shuts it behind him. Hinata is standing a few steps away from his porch in the same beanie as yesterday. He has Kageyama’s scarf tightly wrapped around himself. 

“Hi.” Hinata waves. 

“Hey, idiot.”

“Hey..”

“So why did you call me out here?”

“For this!” Hinata pulls a bag out from behind his back. “Happy birthday, Kageyama!” Oh shit. Was it his birthday already? He completely forgot. He tried to recollect the date, but nothing comes to his mind. Hinata giggles. 

“You forgot didn’t you?”

“No! I just didn’t know what day it was since you woke me up so early.” Kageyama lets out a ‘hmph’ and crosses his arms for warmth.

“Well, happy birthday either way! Here, this is for you!” He sticks the bag out at him. Kageyama’s hands were freezing, but he reaches out for it anyway. 

“Can I open this inside at least?”

“I guess.. I kind of wanted to see your reaction though.”

“So, come inside them, dumbass.” Hinata squawks. 

“I didn’t know if I was allowed inside.”

“You’ve been here before.”

“I just wasn’t sure!” 

“Just come in.” Kageyama walks off before Hinata can argue. The red head trails behind him. 

“Hi, Kageyama-san.” Hinata greets his dad first.

“Hi, Hinata.” Kageyama’s mom came out of the kitchen. 

“Oh, hello Hinata! I didn’t know you were coming over.”

“Yes! I’m sorry for intruding!”

“No, of course not. You’re always welcome here. Come over whenever you want. I’m sure our Tobio-chan would love it.” Kageyama flushes.

“Mom.” Kageyama hissed.

“Oh, hush. You know it’s true.” She waved her hand nonchalantly. “Oh, did Hinata give you that?”

“Yeah, we were going to open it in my room.” 

“That’s fine! Happy birthday, honey. We’ll give you our gifts later.” Kageyama nods and they walk up the stairs. They were alone in his room yet again. He took a calming breath and sat on the floor. Hinata sits across from him. He looks at him expectantly.

Kageyama shoves his hand in the bag and feels something fuzzy. He wraps his fingers around it and pulls it out. Kageyama’s eyes widen slightly. It was a pair of gloves that matched the color of his scarf exactly. He wasn’t sure when Hinata could’ve bought these, considering yesterday was the first time he saw the scarf. He also didn’t see Hinata buy them yesterday. Apparently, Hinata read his mind. That, or he was thinking out loud again. 

“I bought them yesterday in that boutique when you were looking at candles.” Kageyama nods his head. It’s such a thoughtful gift and he made sure Kageyama didn’t notice. It was a welcome surprise. 

“Thank you, Hinata.” 

“You’re welcome! I figured you’d want some gloves to match. Oh, speaking of! Here’s your scarf.” He unwraps it and places it in Kageyama’s lap.

“Thanks.”

“Mhm. There’s more though.” Kageyama reaches his hand back in and feels something squishy this time. He pulls it out and sees two meat buns in a plastic bag. He looks up at Hinata and the small boy nods at the bag, as if to tell him to open the rest of the gift. Kageyama was surprised there was still stuff left. He reached inside again and feels empty air. He moves his hand around until his fingers hit the edge of something. He pulls out a milk box. It was the kind he usually got during lunch. The small detail made his heart rate soar. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you that much stuff. I used most of my money on Christmas gifts.”

“Tch. Don’t apologize. This is more than enough. You didn’t need to do all of this. It’s just my birthday.”

“Exactly! It’s your birthday! I wanted to get you something great. Also, why didn’t you tell me your birthday was coming up?”

“I didn’t think it was that important. How did you find out anyway?”

“I.. uh.. asked Takeda-sensei.” Kageyama looked at him in surprise. He didn’t expect Hinata to go to these lengths for such a small event. 

“Oh. Well, thank you. I really like my gifts.” Hinata looks ecstatic. 

“I’m glad! Well, I guess I should get going then.”

“Oh. Actually, you can stay.”

“Really?”

“Um.. yeah. We could practice or read volley magazines or something.” Hinata practically vibrates  at the prospect of anything involving volleyball. 

“Okay! Cool!” He settled back down. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon together. Kageyama has a magazine in his lap and Hinata reads over his shoulder. He gives Hinata one of the meat buns from his gifts. His mom also brought them drinks and they chatted as they ate. He feels warm inside even with the cold weather. Kageyama thinks this may have been one of the best birthdays he’s ever had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hi! surprise, here’s another chapter. was anyone expecting oikawa to pop up in this fanfic? i just had to include him. i’m actually really excited about this chapter. it’s a little bit longer than normal i think. i’ve been trying to write longer chapters. i feel bad when they’re so short. let me know what you think! i just wanted to write some pure fluff. (lowkey angst coming soon tho i-) also, as a side note, i also used to waitress and I can deff relate to oikawa. i hated getting tabled with people i knew. - daisy


	14. Bracelets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snowballs and surprises.

There’s a flurry of snow falling and dusting the trees and roads. Houses are decorated with Christmas lights. The sky is clear. It’s a picturesque Christmas day. Kageyama wakes up early and opens gifts with his parents. They got him another pair of knee pads, a sweatshirt with the word ‘setter’ on the back, and a new duffle bag. They were practical gifts, but he usually got the same thing every year. It always had to do with volleyball. If it wasn’t a pack of socks, it was a new volleyball or workout clothes. He appreciated everything his parents have done to support him in his career, but sometimes, it felt like that’s all they focused on, particularly his dad. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but it would be nice to get more personalized or fun gifts. He thinks back to the gift Hinata gave him a few days ago. 

He’s still surprised Hinata got him anything at all. Kageyama had planned to get him a Christmas gift even before Hinata had given him the birthday present. It was such a heartfelt gift, and he definitely deserves something in return. He feels grateful for Hinata’s friendship. He put so much time and effort into getting to know him. Even when Kageyama didn’t put in the same energy and shut people out. It was more than he could have asked for. He wasn’t sure why Hinata even bothered when he really didn’t have to. They were rivals that turned into teammates, but that didn’t require Hinata to be kind to him off the court. He could’ve remained civil during practice and games, but he definitely didn’t need to spend so much time on him. 

Kageyama guesses that that’s just the type of person Hinata was. He has never seen Hinata shy away from connecting with people or making new friends. He wonders if this was normal in friendships. 

During the school year, they spent every moment with each other from morning until night. They met each other early in the mornings for practice, go to classes together, eat lunch together, go to afternoon practice together, and walk home side by side at the end of the night. They spent their time texting or calling each other on the phone when they’re at home too. If they’re not at home, they’re at each other’s houses, out getting extra practice, or going into town. This is the closest he’s ever been to someone before. 

It feels scary to let someone take over so much of his life, but it also feels wonderful to give and receive so much in return. He has never met anyone like Hinata before. He wonders what it’s like to have so much life and energy in him all the time. He wonders what it was like when that wasn’t true. He has seen glimpses of this before. He saw it when Hinata was asleep or when he suddenly became shy and quiet around him, such as when they were holding hands hand or sharing a bed. He also saw it when Hinata was forced to study, but that was beside the point. He wishes he could see the other sides of Hinata, other than the exuberant side he always saw.

Kageyama decides to head out for a run and drop by Hinata’s to drop off the gift. He wants to surprise him. As he ran, he placed extra care into his strides. He didn’t feel like busting his ass on the pavement. He had originally planned to run a few miles and then drop by Hinata’s house. After a few minutes though, he decided running with a bag on his shoulder wasn’t a great idea. He slows to a walk and ascends the mountain. The satchel with the gift swings against his leg as he walks. 

His plan was to drop it off on the porch without anyone seeing him, leave, and then text Hinata to come outside to get it. As he approaches the house, he doesn’t see anyone moving inside. He assumes that they may still be asleep or in their own rooms. He quietly pulls the wrapped box out of his bag and walks forward to place it down. His feet loudly crunch in the snow. He begins walking away when he hears a creaking sound. Not this.

He whips his head around. He saw that Hinata had opened his window and was peaking out of it. He hasn’t even gotten five feet away from the steps before Hinata caught him. He blames the idiot for ruining the surprise.

“Kageyama?! What’re you doing here?” Kageyama considers just making a run for it without any explanation, but he really didn’t feel like having his phone spammed by Hinata. He groans and covers his face with his hands. This is what happens when he tries to do nice things. Curse that idiot. He slowly turns around. 

“Um..” He didn’t know how to explain that he left a gift on his porch without ruining the surprise. 

“Were you spying on me?” Kageyama gapes.

“No, you idiot!” He yells up at the window. 

“Then why are you tip toeing around my front yard like you’re about to break in?” 

“I was.. uh.. just passing by on a run.”

“A run in my front yard?” Kageyama realizes they must have looked ridiculous yelling at each other from a window. 

“Yes. So, I’m gonna get back to my run now.” He starts jogging away from the house. 

“No! Wait up!” He hears Hinata slam the window shut. He kept jogging in hopes that he would escape. Hinata slams the front door open and the next thing he hears is a loud crash. He whips his head around to see that Hinata had inadvertently tripped over his own gift and tumbled down the stairs behind him. Well, at least it was still a surprise. 

Kageyama walks up to him and stares down at his body in the snow. The idiot was in flannel pajama pants, a t-shirt, and slippers. He figures it would be rude to leave him there. He bends down to help him up. As he grips Hinata’s arm to pull him up, his foot slid from underneath him in the snow and he tumbles on top of him. Kageyama had practically lands on his head, pushing the red heads face into the ground. He hears his muffled cries and rolls off of him. This did not go as planned. 

Hinata let’s out a groan and flips onto his back as well. “Was that a gift I just tripped on?”

Kageyama lets out a long sigh. “Yeah...”

“And you left it there?”

“Yeah...”

“Why didn’t you just knock on the door like a normal person?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, dumbass.” 

“Well, I was definitely surprised when I just face planted in the snow and you landed on top of me.”

“It was an accident.” He mutters.

“Yeah, I noticed.” Hinata begins waving his arms and legs in the snow. 

“Oi! Stop that. Get up, you’re gonna get hypothermia laying in the snow like that.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t be in the snow if you would’ve just given me the gift.”

“I did! It’s on the steps.” He slaps Hinata on the head.

“Ow! Don’t hit me, it’s Christmas.”

“You’re not exempt from being an idiot just because it’s Christmas.”

“Hmph.” He continues making a snow angel. “Try it, Kageyama.” 

Kageyama starts copying his movements and waves his arms up and down. He moved his legs from side to side. It was nice laying in the snow and staring up at the clear sky. He glances over at Hinata and he looks so happy in that moment. He grabs a handful of snow and tosses it on his hair. 

“Hey! Bakayama!” Hinata gasps at the coldness and grabs some snow with his bare hand and throws it back. It lands on Kageyama’s face. He sputters and wipes it off. He sits up and grabs more snow. Hinata sits up too. Kageyama hurls the snow at his chest. Hinata jumps and throws snow back at him. They continue yelling names at each other and throwing snow. All of a sudden, a snowball hits the side of Hinata’s face. They both turn their heads to see Natsu with her hand still in the air. Kageyama starts laughing uncontrollably at the face Hinata’s making. He looks so shocked and offended. 

Kageyama grabs more snow and hurls it at the shorter boy, adding to the snow on his face. 

“How dare you turn her on me?” Hinata whined. 

Natsu giggles and pelts Hinata with more snow. The red head finally recovers from the shock and starts throwing snow back at both of them. They laugh and run around the yard. When they finally got tired, Natsu walks up to Kageyama. 

“Yama! What’re you doing here on Christmas?”

“Uh.. “

“He came to give me a gift.”

“Ooh! Cool! I have a gift for you Yama.” Kageyama’s eyebrows raise. He didn’t expect her to get him anything. She grabs his hand. He lets her drag him inside. She stops in the foyer and allows him to remove his jacket and sneakers. She disappears upstairs to retrieve whatever gift she had for him. Hinata follows them inside. His skin was all red from the freezing cold and snow. 

“Go dry off before you get frostbite.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s your fault if I get it, baka.”

Hinata also disappears up the steps and Kageyama stands in the foyer in his workout pants and sweatshirt. The siblings emerge from their rooms. Hinata has changed into another pair of pajama pants and the pink sweatshirt from the other day. 

Natsu comes down and grabs his hand again, dragging him to the couch. He sits down next to her and Hinata goes back outside to grab the present. 

They all sat on the same couch. Hinata has the green wrapped box in his hands and Natsu has a smaller box in hers. She hands it to Kageyama who gently took it from her. 

“This is for me?” He asks. She nods vigorously. 

“It’s from me and Sho.” Kageyama nods back and slowly begins to peel off the wrapping. It’s covered in pink wrapping paper with kittens all over it. He tries not to rip any of it. There was a plain box inside. He glances at Natsu and she nods her head again. He lifts the lid and finds three bracelets inside. They were made of a black cord and plastic beads. There were beads with the letters N, T, and S on them and a colorful bead between each letter. 

“They’re friendship bracelets! We can all match!” Natsu says. Kageyama opens his mouth, but didn’t know how to respond. He closes his mouth and opens it again.

“I-Thank you, Natsu. I really like it.” 

“Mhm! Here, I’ll put it on for you.” She took one from the box and wraps it around his left wrist. She ties the loose ends and smiles up at him. 

“Thank you.” She sticks her hand out to him. He takes another bracelet out of the box and ties it around her wrist. It was a little too big and hangs off of her wrist, but it’s cute. Natsu ties Hinata’s bracelet on his wrist as well. When she was done, she’s practically jumping up and down in her seat. 

“Yay! Now we all match.” Hinata smiles at her fondly and Kageyama couldn’t help but smile too. Kageyama nods. 

“Onii-chan, open your gift!”

“Oh, yeah.” Hinata gracelessly rips the wrapping off and opens the box. He gasps and pulls out a green scarf. 

“Thank you, Kageyama! I really needed a scarf. It’s so soft.” Kageyama blushes and nods. He sticks his hand back in the box and pulls out the last gift. It was a bag of candy. Natsu squeals. 

“Can I have some?” Hinata looks like he wants to say no and have it all to himself, but Kageyama glares at him. 

“Of course, it’s for both of you.” In reality, Kageyama completely forgot to get Natsu anything, but he figures she’d like candy too. Hinata opens the bag and hands her a frog shaped gummy. They began devouring the bag together. Kageyama hopes they wouldn’t have a repeat episode of the day in the rain. 

Natsu turns back to Kageyama with her mouth full. “Want me to make you some hot chocolate?” 

“Sure,” he replies. She hops  off the couch and runs into the kitchen. 

“Thank you for the gifts, Kageyama. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to. Thanks for your gift.” He glanced down at their bracelets. 

“It was Natsu’s idea. She was so excited to give it to you.” 

“Yeah, I like it a lot.” They stare at each other and it seemed like Hinata was leaning closer to him. His face was so close. 

“Hot chocolate!” Natsu bursts out of the kitchen and they break apart. Hinata jumps back and Kageyama sits up straight in his seat. Natsu walks over to them with two cups of hot chocolate in her hands. She hands each of them a cup and runs back to the kitchen to grab her own. There were tiny marshmallows floating at the top of the mug. Kageyama stares at them. He feels his face burning. He must’ve imagined how close they were in that moment. It was nothing to get worked up about. He takes a deep breath to calm himself and straightens his face. Natsu comes back and crawls into his lap. She settles in and starts sipping on her drink. She leans her head on his shoulder. He took a sip of his drink too and hums in delight. It was really good. It tastes like there’s a hint of nutmeg in there.

Hinata put a Christmas movie on the TV and they sit back to watch it. Kageyama didn’t intend to stay this long, but he didn’t have the heart to move Natsu. He sits back into the couch and gets comfortable. He felt so warm cuddled up with the tiny girl in his lap. 

During the movie, Hinata must have moved closer to them at some point. They were sitting with their knees pressed together. The minutes tick by in silence. All they can hear is even breathing and voices from the TV.

Kageyama had fallen asleep at some point towards the end of the movie. His head lolled to the side and rested on the back of the couch. Natsu had passed out too, still on top of him. Hinata took the chance to watch them. He felt incredibly warm and happy in that moment. He leans over and kisses Natsu on the forehead. He hesitates for a second as he was about to lean back. His lips ghost over Kageyama’s cheek. He breathes against his skin and contemplates leaning all the way in. Kageyama stirs and turns his head the other way before his lips can make contact. Hinata quickly leans back. His heart is fluttering in his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii, sorry for updating so late! i was struggling with writing this chapter for some reason. iy just wasn’t coming together the way i wanted, but i hope it turned out okay. also, the fanfic is going to pick up from here. this part of the story really focused on developing their friendship and now that they’ve gotten so close, i’m going to skip ahead in time soon. thank you again for all of your comments and let me know your thoughts. - daisy


	15. Fortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the first years visit a shrine.

Tsukki frowns at his phone. Yamaguchi had just texted him about meeting up at a shrine for New Years. He wasn’t sure why Yamaguchi was suddenly interested in celebrating New Years with him when they’ve never done that before. It was normal for families and couples to visit the shrine together. Was this a date? He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but his heart skips a beat at the thought of being alone with him.

Tsukki walks downstairs to talk to his mom before texting Yamaguchi back. 

“Hey, mom?”

“Hi, honey. Did you need something?”

“I was just wondering if you and dad had any plans for New Year’s Eve. Yamaguchi invited me to go to the shrine with him.” 

“Nope. We don’t have any plans. You can go if you’d like, just don’t forget to layer up and wear a hat.” Tsukki nods. He turns away to walk back upstairs. He was mentally planning his outfit when his mom calls for him. 

“Kei.”

“Yeah?” 

“Do you like Yamaguchi?” Tsukki feels himself flush to his ears. 

“Mom,” he hissed. 

“What? It was a genuine question.” 

“Of course, I like Yamaguchi. We’re best friends.”

“Kei.” She gives him a no bullshit look and tilts her head. 

“Ugh, mom. I do not want to talk about this with you.”

“Why not? I’m your mom. Come sit.” Tsukki trudges back down the stairs. He hopes his brother wouldn’t pop up in the middle of this conversation. It was embarrassing enough as it is. They sit down on the couch in the living room.

“You know, I’ve always loved Tadashi. He was always so good for you.”

“Hmm,” Tsukki hums and nods. 

“I’m not asking about this to be nosy. I just want to see you and Tadashi happy. Back in high school, I knew a boy just like him. Shy, quiet, awfully cute, and most of all, stubborn. I remember how close we were. He was one of my closest friends in my group. As we grew up, we only got closer. By our third year, I started falling for him. I had a feeling he fell for me too. You know what happened next?” Tsukki raises an eyebrow.

“You fell in love and started dating?” 

“No. Nothing happened. You want to know why?”

“No, why?”

“Because I was scared. I was so afraid of ruining the bond we had that I never did anything. Little did I know, that was what ended up ruining our friendship. I had so many chances to be with him and I never took it. I kept pushing it off, hoping it would just happen on its own. I waited too long. By the time I realized it was too late, he had already given up. Once he decided that I didn’t feel the same way about him, he moved on. Like I said, he was awfully stubborn. I was stubborn too. When we graduated, we went out separate ways. I felt like I had lost someone I loved, even if we never dated.”

“So, why’re you telling me this?” Tsukki frowns in confusion.

“Well, I never finished my story. A couple years later, we saw each other again through mutual friends. All of those feelings never went away. I knew that I was still in love with him. How could I not be? He was basically my best friend. I decided, to hell with all of this fear. I didn’t want to lose him again. I didn’t know when I’d get another chance to see him. As soon as I got him alone, I confessed. I poured my heart out. I told him how I felt after all those years and you know what? He still felt the same too. I was lucky. Some people aren’t as fortunate. They don’t get a second chance. Some people actually move on with their lives and find someone else. They forget and never look back. Sometimes the timing just doesn’t line up. One person may be dating someone new and the other person may be single. By the time they’re single again, the other person may be dating someone new. Whatever the situation may be, I’m telling you this out of experience. Take a chance while you still can. Don’t let them slip away. You’ll regret losing the person you love when they were right in front of you.”

“Mom. I don’t think this is the same thing. Yamaguchi doesn’t like me. He likes girls and there’s one girl in particular he’s already interested in.” Curse, Yachi. She’s a lovely girl and all, but it still crushes him to see Yamaguchi fawn over someone else. 

“I don’t think that’s true. You’re thinking about it too much. I’ve seen the way you act around each other. Trust me, mother’s intuition.” Tsukki shrugs and shakes his head. 

“I appreciate the advice, but like you said, not everyone is as lucky as you.”

“You’re right. Just consider what I said. I think you’ll find that I’m right. I can’t force you to do anything though.” Tsukki nods. His mom leans in and gives him a hug. He hugs her back and stands to go back to his room. As he was about to go up the stairs again, he turns around. 

“So, what happened to this guy? Did you break up?” She laughs and waves her hand.

“As corny as it sounds, we got married and had you and your brother.” Tsukki gapes at her. He never knew how his parents got together. He never thought to ask. 

“Thanks for telling me.” Tsukki’s mouth was set in a straight line. He simply nods again and walks up the stairs. 

He texts Yamaguchi back. 

‘Yeah, I’ll come. Meet you at 10.’ 

* * *

It was freezing cold out when Tsukki reaches the shrine. That was expected though, considering it was late December. He pulls his jacket closer to his body in an attempt to gather more warmth. He stood by the steps to the shrine and looks around for Yamaguchi. 

A few minutes later, Yamaguchi is skipping up to him with a smile on his face. His hair bobs as he approaches. 

“Hi, Tsukki.” 

“Hi.”

“Let’s go!” The shorter boy exclaims and grabs his arm. They ascend the stairs. Tsukki was scowling from the cold weather, but Yamaguchi had a giant grin on his face. When they reach the top of the steps, Yamaguchi unlinks their arms and turns to face him. 

“Do you want to get some food while we wait? We still have a few hours until midnight.”

“Sure.” 

They walk over to the long line of people at the food stand. There were a lot more people here than he originally thought there would be. He honestly hates crowds, but at least Yamaguchi was here to distract him. The shorter boy was chattering away about what he got for Christmas. He watches Yamaguchi’s face light up as he speaks. His eyes scan over the freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose. His face was flushed from the cold and he looks incredibly.. cute. Tsukki internally rolls his eyes at the thought. His mom would be practically squealing if she knew about this. 

He turns his head away to distract himself and spots two figures he absolutely did not want to see right now. They were approaching him.

“What the fuck are you two doing here?” He spat. 

Hinata gasps. “I invited Yamaguchi. We planned to meet here.” Tsukki turns his head to look at Yamaguchi who looks embarrassed. He did not tell him that. 

“Gomen, Tsukki. I thought it would be a great chance for all of us to bond.” Tsukki frowned, but didn’t want to upset Yamaguchi. He tried not to  glare at Kageyama, but inevitably fails. The black haired boy glares back. 

“Well, isn’t that sweet,” Tsukki mutters as he looked between the two of them. Kageyama looks like he wanted to say something, but Hinata gives him a look and he quiets down. 

“Do you guys want to get food with us?” Yamaguchi asks politely. 

“Yeah, of course!” Hinata says. He looks way too excited for overpriced street food. The line takes longer than he hoped and by the time they got their soba and matcha tea, it was almost eleven. They settle down at a wooden table and dig in. Hinata is as animated as ever and Yamaguchi enthusiastically nods as he listened. They seemed to be close these days. Tsukki was sitting across from Kageyama and neither of them said a word. He watches Kageyama stare at Hinata out of the corner of his eyes. If he was trying to be subtle, it wasn’t working. Kageyama’s expression was nothing short of reverence. It was disgusting. Anyone could tell he adores the ball of sunshine, maybe even loves him. Tsukki rolls his eyes. It was annoyingly obvious. Their awkward flirting these past few weeks was absolutely grating on his nerves. He wishes they would just make out and get it over with already. 

Kageyama seems to be slurping his noodles obnoxiously loud and Tsukki tries not to snap.

“You’d think the king would have some manners and learn not eat so loud.” 

“Can you please get over yourself? I’m just trying to eat.”

“You call that eating?”

“Yeah, now fuck off.” Tsukki grunts and goes back to his own food. 

When he finishes, he sits back and looks around. It seems like more people were showing up. A thought crosses his mind. He leans in and whispers to Kageyama.

“Did Hinata plan this as some dumb attempt at a double date?” Kageyama chokes on the last bits of his noodles.

“How should I know? Hinata does whatever he wants and either way, it’s not a date.”

“It sure feels like it.”

“I mean if you really think so. That would mean you’re here on a date with Yamaguchi then.” Tsukki scoffs and rolls his eyes. He leans back and goes back to watching people mill around. 

The other two boys finish up and stand from the table. Tsukki and Kageyama followed suit. Hinata skips over and grabs Kageyama’s arm to drag him off.

“Me and Kageyama are gonna go grab some dessert. Wanna come along?” Tsukki looks at Yamaguchi who shrugs. 

“I’m not really hungry, so we’re probably going to stay here,” Tsukki spoke for them. Hinata nods and pulls the taller boy away. Kageyama let’s him. Hinata didn’t notice the small smile that graces his face. Gross. 

Tsukki turns back to Yamaguchi. They were both still sipping on their matcha. Yamaguchi looks like he was about to speak when someone suddenly bumps into him. The shorter boy jolts forward. Tsukki tried to catch him, but in the scuffle, Yamaguchi loses his grip on the paper cup. The steaming matcha spills all over Tsukki’s body. 

Tsukki gasps at the sudden heat soaking into the front of his jacket. He takes a step back and Yamaguchi steadies himself. The person apologizes and skitters away. 

“Fuck,” Tsukki mumbles. He tries to pull the jacket away from his body to relieve some of the burning. 

“Gomen, Tsukki! I didn’t mean for that to happen. I should’ve held my cup tighter.” 

“It’s fine. It was an accident. Can you grab some napkins?” 

“Oh, yeah! Of course!” Yamaguchi sprints away towards the food stand. He’s back within a few seconds with a fistful of napkins. He starts patting down the front of Tsukki’s jacket. 

“You don’t have to do that. I can handle it.”

“No, I got it! It was my fault.” A few people were starting to stare at them with weird looks. 

“Okay, let’s just get away from this crowd first.” Tsukki grabs his arm and pulls them towards the edge of the woods. 

* * *

It was nearing midnight. Kageyama stands next to Hinata in the charge crowd. They were waiting for the new year to chime in. Hinata was bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“Calm down before you bump into someone.” 

“I’m just excited. Isn’t this fun, Kageyama?” Hinata stares up at him with a smile. 

“Yeah, I guess so. The food was good.”

“Mhm.” They stood in silence. When the clock finally hit twelve, fireworks bursted into the air and the crowd cheered. The couples around them held each other and kissed. Kageyama blushes. For a second, he wonders what that would be like, to hold someone close and have lips pressed against his. He ignores it though. It would only be a distraction. He looks down at Hinata and he beams back at him. He looks away.

They got in line to pray at the shrine. When they got to the front of the line, they step up and grab a thick rope. They pull on the bell connected to it and then drop a coin into the offertory box. Kageyama turns away and then proceeded to bow twice and then clap twice. He says a prayer in his head to the gods. He thanks them for his success so far in his career and asks for luck in the future. He also asks for good health for his family and friends. His final request makes him blush. He asks for another year with Hinata. Now that the ginger boy had wriggled his way into his life, he couldn’t imagine the next year without him by his side. He was thankful for his friend and hoped for more happy moments with him, even if they were small. He thinks back to their extra practices and their fight in the snow. Whatever happened in the next year, he hopes for more time with Hinata. 

He steps back and claps his hands a final time. Hinata finishes up his prayers as well and they move away from the shrine. They walk up to another stand that was selling fortunes. They both stand in line to buy one. 

Kageyama unfolds his fortune and skims over it. He’s glad to see that he got one with future blessing written on it. Hopefully, it would help in their matches. He continues to read further down and his heart stops when he reaches the bottom. His fortune also says love. Underneath it, it read ‘You’ve met the best. Don’t hesitate.’ He crumples up the fortune and shoves it in his pocket. He didn’t know how accurate the fortune was, but he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He doubts that love is anywhere in his future. He couldn’t see himself in a relationship with anyone. He didn’t think he could make someone else happy. He didn’t know how to. 

Hinata leans towards him. 

“What did your fortune say? Was it baddd?”

“No, dumbass.”

“Ooh, so what was it then?”

“Nothing important. What did you get?” Hinata frowns at his own fortune. 

“It says sign of fate: ominous.” Kageyama laughs. 

“I guess you should tie it to a tree then. We don’t need any bad luck on our team.” Hinata pouts and walks over to a tree to tie it on. 

“Well, that was still fun!” Kageyama nods. “It’s getting late, wanna walk home together?”

“Sure.” Kageyama leads the way out of the shrine. They walk side by side with small smiles on their faces. 

* * *

“Gomen, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi continues pressing the napkin to his jacket.

“Stop apologizing. I already told you it wasn’t your fault.” Yamaguchi nods and continues dabbing the napkin. 

“I think that’s all I can get out of your jacket for now. You might want to wash it when you get home.” Yamaguchi pulls his hand away. When he looks up at Tsukki, their faces were centimeters away. Tsukki looks down at him and he looks up. Yamaguchi breathes out a stream of hot air. It turns into vapor and drifts away. Tsukki feels like he can’t breath. He wants to step back and get away from Yamaguchi, but his body is frozen in place. Before he could act, Yamaguchi begins to lean in. 

Tsukki couldn’t tell who closes the gap between them, but their lips touch. His heart blares in his chest. Yamaguchi’s lips feel slightly chapped from the cold air. They taste of matcha. Tsukki pushes his mouth against his and holds his breath. 

They suddenly broke apart and let out a gasp. 

“I-what?”

“Tsukki-I..” They stare at each other in shock. The silence felt suffocating. Yamaguchi looks scared and confused. Tsukki’s heart drops. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. 

“I-I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake.”

“Tsukki..”

“I-“ 

Panic seizes him. Tsukki felt like he was choking. He turns his head away from Yamaguchi. Neither of them say anything. He couldn’t meet Yamaguchi’s eyes. Tsukki turns and runs. He felt like a coward, but he couldn’t stay there. It was too much. Fortune was not on his side.

* * *

Weeks had passed and neither of them mentioned the kiss. Yamaguchi refuses to meet up with him over break. He eventually stops texting back too. Tsukki didn’t know what to do. In tough situations, he was used to texting Yamaguchi. He didn’t know who to turn to. He felt like he had just ruined whatever relationship they had. 

He texts Yamaguchi again and hours later, there was still no response. He considers asking Hinata if Yamaguchi was okay, but he refuses to go to the shrimp for help. 

He clenches his phone in his hand as he stares at the screen. His message was read hours ago and Yamaguchi still hasn’t said a word. 

He shut his eyes tightly until he saw stars. What the fuck was he supposed to do? 

He swipes out of his conversation with Yamaguchi and opens a new one. 

He closes out of the conversation and reopens it again. He did this a few more times until he gathers the courage to send a message. 

‘What would you do if Hinata was ignoring you?’ He regrets the message as soon as he sends it. Has his life really come to this? 

His phone pings. He hopes it’s a text from Yamaguchi, but of course, it wasn’t. ‘ What?’

‘Do you not know how to read, king?’

‘Stop fucking calling me that.’

‘Just answer the question.’

‘I don’t know. That’s never happened to me before.’ Tsukki groans in his bed and slaps himself in the face. Why did he think this would be helpful? He didn’t respond. A few minutes later his phone pings again. ‘Hinata’s never ignored me, but if he did, I’d bother him until he did.’

‘Already tried that.’

‘Okay, well then I’d give him some space. Obviously, I must’ve done something to upset him.’ Tsukki raises his eyebrow. He didn’t think Kageyama had the critical thinking skills to fix this type of problem. 

‘I’ve given him space though.’

‘Who’s him? Yamaguchi?’ Tsukki considers not responding. He really didn’t want to embarrass himself by sharing the details. He was desperate though.

‘Yes.’

‘So, what did you do?’

‘Who says I did anything?’

‘Well, you’re best friends. Why would he ignore you if you didn’t do something wrong? What happened?’ He wasn’t wrong. Yamaguchi has never acted like this before. Since when has Kageyama been right about anything? 

‘We kissed and I ran away.’

‘What the fuck? When? Who the fuck just runs away after something like that?’

‘At the shrine, and fuck you. I didn’t know what to do. It’s Yamaguchi and we’re friends.’

‘You’re definitely not friends. Have you ever considered that maybe running away hurt his feelings?’

‘I doubt that. He looked disgusted after we kissed. He’s probably trying to avoid me so he doesn’t have to reject me.’

‘That doesn’t sound like Yamaguchi. He was probably just confused.’

‘You didn’t see his face. I don’t know how to go back to being friends. I don’t want to lose him.’ Tsukki really doesn’t want to lose Yamaguchi. Even if it meant that they had to remain friends, he just wants to go back to the moments when he could touch his hair while they laid in bed watching a movie, or listen to Yamaguchi talk. Yamaguchi was the only person in his life who was constantly there for him. He listened to what he said and never overstepped his boundaries. He never wavered in their friendship, even when Tsukki could be overly crass or blunt. Yamaguchi was his person. He was a constant. Now he wants nothing to do with him. His mom was wrong and Tsukki is scared. 

‘Maybe you should just go talk to him in person. If he’s not interested in you, nothing has to change. Yamaguchi cares about you. He wouldn’t just stop being friends with you over a dumb kiss.’

‘That’s easy for you to say. If you kissed Hinata, would you want to talk to him?’ Kageyama doesn’t respond for a few minutes. 

‘No.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Sounds like you’re fucked.’

‘Yeah, no shit.’ He took a few minutes to respond again.

‘Hinata isn’t like Yamaguchi though. You’ve known him for a long time. Whatever issues you’re having, he’ll come around. Like I said, I think he’s just confused. Just give him a little more time. Maybe he’ll come to you first.’

‘Maybe.’ Tsukki considers leaving the conversation at that. He feels relieved though. He was glad to get that off his chest. As much as it pained him, he sends another text. ‘Thanks.’

‘No problem.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy. so i decided to switch up the pov. what do you guys think? should i only focus on kageyama’s perspective or do you guys like a switch up every once and a while. also, this chapter was inspired by kimi ni todoke, which is so pure and fluffy. pure slow burn shoujo anime. i recommend checking it out! - daisy


	16. Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pinch servers and letters.

It’s summer now. Kageyama is halfway through his second year and he’s been granted his request. For the most part, he spends his year by Hinata’s side. As time passes, they’ve grown closer. They’re practically inseparable. There are moments when Kageyama forgets who they are. They’re intimate and his thoughts blur together. He forgets that they’re only in high school, two boys who are meant to be friends. He forgets the responsibility that weighs on them. They only have one semester left until they’re third years and inevitably, they’ll have to take over the team. When Hinata is close to him, within reach, he feels at peace. In those moments, he feels connected to the smaller boy in a way he’d never imagined. Partners who share glances and light touches, mingling breaths as they lay close. It’s just him and Shoyo. 

Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough. Kageyama isn’t sure what more he can ask of Hinata. He’s given himself to him in almost every way. Hinata shares his life with him: his family, his care, his time. He shares his mind as well. As they lay in bed together, Hinata confesses all of his fears, worries, and dreams. Kageyama has yet to mention the extra futon he can sleep on. He chooses to ignore it. He hangs onto their soft caresses and light touches. Kageyama clings onto the feeling of Hinata’s fingers on his face, his hair, his arm. He can’t help that he wants more. He doesn’t just want finger tips and brief embraces anymore, but then again, he doesn’t know what he wants. 

Kageyama has also shared his life with Hinata. He lets him in on his insecurities of being abandoned and exiled. His fear of failure. His aspirations to reach the top. He shares his thoughts whenever they come to his mind. He returns the touches that come so easily to Hinata. Kageyama picks and chooses when he allows himself to touch him though. He’s afraid if he gives into his urges to skim his fingers along Hinata’s jawline and neck, or his exposed collarbone and chest, he won’t be able to stop. Kageyama feels the irresistible pull to feel both emotionally and physically. He hides these thoughts away and distracts himself with Hinata’s voice. He tucks the urges away in the back of his mind and locks them up. 

He’s not sure when these thoughts became so strong, but as time goes on, his imagination runs loose. 

When they’re lying close enough for Kageyama’s eyes to skim over the light spattering of freckles on Hinata’s nose and the flutter of orange lashes, his lips and hands burn to press against skin. Kageyama isn’t sure what to think of this anymore. On those late nights, in his drowsy state, he’ll let himself indulge for a few seconds before pulling away. His heart beats in his chest and his breath quickens and then it’s over. He drags his hand away and rests it under the blanket. His fingers tingle. Hinata is usually asleep by then. 

During the day, they continue to study together, walk home together, and share meals. 

At lunch, Hinata will happily lay his head on Kageyama’s shoulder. Sometimes, he’ll even fall asleep there, to which Kageyama will shove his head off to wake him up for their next class. If they’re feeling energetic, they’ll practice after they’ve finished their food. 

Oddly enough, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi have begun joining them for lunch. The days they sit together as a group are sporadic, but Kageyama doesn’t mind. He enjoys the days he gets to spend time alone with Hinata. For the other two, they’ve gone back to normal, somewhat.

Kageyama isn’t exactly an expert on relationships, platonic or otherwise, but he’s glad to see they’re friends again at the very least. It’s in the small moments that pass in a fraction of a second that he can see the hairline fractures in their bond. If he wasn’t watching carefully, he may not have noticed. A year ago he wouldn’t even care to watch them. 

Apparently, Tsukki had taken his advice and backed off. The taller boy gave Yamaguchi space and eventually, he came around. Tsukki confided in Kageyama that Yamaguchi showed up on his doorstep a week after their conversation. They had agreed that it was a mistake. They were best friends and simply lost themselves in the heat of the moment. 

They returned to exchanging whispers and glances. Yamaguchi with his shy smiles and blushes, and Tsukki with his smirk and sharp eyes. He seems more closed off and calculated these days. It’s not abnormal for the blonde middle blocker, but Kageyama almost wishes he could do more to help. It feels tense and awkward when Hinata isn’t around to spur on a conversation. When they stare at each other for a second too long, they’ll both quickly turn away and sit in silence. Kageyama can only observe and hope that things will fully mend in time. 

The summer days have brought them beautiful weather. The sun shines on them and warms their skin. There are only a few days left until spring term wraps up and summer break begins. 

Yamaguchi, Tsukki, and Kageyama are huddled in his spot on the side of the school. Kageyama has warmed up to Yachi and she’ll occasionally drop by to eat with them as well. She’s not here today and Kageyama can’t say he minds that either. They’re all quietly chewing on their food and enjoying the comfortable silence. Kageyama feels closer to both of them now. In the past several months, Kageyama has become accustomed to texting Tsukki every once and a while, whether it’s about practice or strange moments with Yamaguchi. They’ve confided in each other. Kageyama will even mention his odd urges and thoughts about Hinata. Most of the time, Tsukki will jokingly make fun of him for it, but it’s also nice to have someone else to talk to. He can’t exactly tell Hinata about the weird thoughts that flit through his mind. Yamaguchi will also text him out of the blue. They’ll discuss practice and plans for next year. Kageyama thinks he’ll definitely  make captain once they become third years. He respects Yamaguchi for his tenacious demeanor and calming presence. 

It’s strange for Kageyama. He’s not used to having so many people he can turn to and trust. They’ve even ventured to hanging out on weekends now. It’s only a handful of times, but they’ve begun playing video games together as a group and visiting town once. Kageyama may even consider them friends at this point. 

The silence is inevitably broken by Hinata’s loud voice approaching them. Kageyama turns his head to glance at the ball of sunshine bounding towards them. He stops and feels the breath knocked out of him. Hinata looks different. His skin is glowing in the midday light and his hair is shorter. The wild mess has been somewhat tamed and groomed. The sides of his head are cropped. Kageyama feels like he may choke on the piece of bread sliding down his throat. 

“Hi, guys!” Hinata exclaims with a smile that’s impossibly bright. 

“Hi, Hinata,” Yamaguchi easily responds. Bastard. Kageyama couldn’t even gather a single thought in his flustered brain right now. He could practically hear the windows shutdown sound vibrating in his skull. Kageyama.exe has stopped working.

Hinata settles down between Kageyama and Yamaguchi. “You look weird,” Tsukki states with a blank face.

“You think so? I just got a hair cut. What do you two think?”

“I think it’s nice. It’s cool to switch up your look,” Yamaguchi says with a smile.

Kageyama’s brain is still rebooting and apparently his mouth hadn’t caught up yet. “Y-you.. I-.. Lo-.. Um.. You look.. really.. um,” he stutters. Kageyama wants nothing more than to toss himself off the roof of the school building in that instance. He clamps his mouth shut. He clears his throat and attempts to open his mouth again. “My bad. There was something in my throat. It’s fine or whatever.” 

The rest of the group is giving him a weird look at this point. Tsukki looks like he wants to burst out laughing at any second, but collects himself and schools his expression back to a bored stare. Yamaguchi covers his mouth with his hand and then looks away. Hinata is just scrunching his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Thanks, guys. Oh! I forgot my bento in the classroom.” Hinata scampers off back in the direction of the school doors. 

The second he’s out of hearing range, Tsukki bursts out laughing. He hunches over and practically wheezes. He’s laughing so hard he almost chokes as he tries to speak. Yamaguchi is giggling beside him.

“I think that was the most embarrassing attempt at a compliment I’ve ever seen. You should’ve seen your face. It’s so red, you look like you’re having an allergic reaction.” Tsukki wheezes again.

“Fuck you, bitch.” Kageyama’s blushing face only causes him to laugh even louder. Kageyama covers his face and frowns. What the fuck was wrong with him? He wanted to smack himself. Kageyama had wanted to say that he looked nice and ended up with a jumble of words spilling out. Tsukki claps him on the shoulder and finally calms down. 

“At least you tried.”

“Shut up.” Kageyama goes back to eating his food. 

Hinata comes back with his food and settles back into his spot. As they ate, a girl was lingering by the side of the building. They all glanced at her and then at each other. She looked like she was afraid to approach them. Hinata was the first one to say something.

“Hey, are you okay? Did you need something?” She startles at the sound of his voice and flinches. 

“I was.. um.. wondering if I could talk to Yamaguchi-san.” She looked to be a first year and clearly, quite shy. She was short and had long blonde hair that reached the middle of her back. She was wringing her hands and shifting her weight from foot to foot. She also stared at the ground as she spoke. 

“Oh, sure. What did you need to talk about?” Yamaguchi asked. 

“Oh.. um.. can we talk alone?” The girl looked like she was about to start shaking. 

“Yeah, one second.” Yamaguchi removed his lunch from his lap and placed it on his bag on the ground. He stood up and followed her away from the group. 

The boys glanced at each other and for a second, Kageyama noticed how murderous Tsukki’s eyes seemed to be. It disappeared in the blink of an eye. They nosily eavesdropped on the conversation as best as they could. 

“So, what’s up? Also, sorry, but I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Oh, i-it’s Sato Ayumi. I just wanted to say that I think you’re really cool. I’ve.. um.. seen a couple of your volleyball games and I think your serve is amazing. You always.. um.. help the team out when they need it most.”

“O-oh. Thank you. Sato-kun. I don’t think I’m that cool. I’m just a pinch server.” Yamaguchi scratched the back of his neck and laughed nervously. 

“Y-yeah, but that’s what makes you cool. They put you in when they really need you. I.. um.. watched you at nationals too.”

“Heh. That’s very nice of you and uh, yeah, I guess that’s true.” A moment of awkward silence passes between them. “Thank you for telling me that. Is there something else you needed?”

“No! I mean yes! Um.. I hope I’m not offending you, but I wanted to give you this!” She blurts out in a quick ramble. She fumbles with her bag and pulls out a pink envelope. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way. Please just read it when you can, Yamaguchi-san.” She hands it to him with two hands and bows. 

“O-okay. Thank you.” He takes the envelope from her with both hands and slightly bows as well. 

“Bye, Yamaguchi-san.” She quickly turns and runs away before he can respond.

“Uh- bye.” Yamaguchi stands there for a second, dazed. He turns around and slowly walks back to the group. 

“Tch. She isn’t even his type.” Tsukki scowls at the ground.

“Eh? What’s his type then?” Hinata pipes up. 

“I don’t know, just not that.” 

“What’re you guys talking about?” Yamaguchi asks as he returns to his spot. 

“Nothing.” Tsukki responds quickly.

“Your type.” Hinata says at the same time. 

“Oh. I have a type?”

“Yeah, blondes apparently.” Kageyama says and Yamaguchi’s entire face flushes. Tsukki glares at him.

“I- uh.. guess so. I don’t think I only have a thing for blondes though.” Tsukki thinks back to Yachi and the girl that just confessed to him. He definitely had a thing for blondes. 

Kageyama hummed. “I think you do.” 

Yamaguchi sputters and blushes furiously. “Well, what’s your type then?” Kageyama chokes again and pounds his fist into his chest to clear his airway.

“I don’t have a type.”

“Yes, you do, king. Why don’t you grace us with your actual type?” Kageyama shoots daggers at Tsukki with his eyes.

“Yeah, Kageyama. What’s your type?” Hinata is looking at him curiously now and leaning in close.

Kageyama tries to breath and clears his throat again. “Um.. I don’t know. I guess I like someone who’s shorter than me and maybe brunettes. I haven’t really thought about it.” Kageyama waves his hand in the air in attempt to look nonchalant. 

“Brunettes, huh?” Tsukki says and raises his eyebrow in challenge. Hinata’s shoulders imperceptibly slump and he tilts his head. 

“Yeah. So what? How about you then?” Kageyama asks.

“Don’t have one.”

“Bullshit. I had to tell everyone, so do you.”

“Fine. I like someone who’s quiet and brunettes are alright, I guess. Don’t care about height. Everyone’s shorter than me.”

“That’s not true! There was that two meter guy we played in spring interhigh last year,” Hinata cuts in.

“Yeah, whatever. What about you shrimp?”

“Oh.. um..” Hinata flushes. “I don’t know either. I guess if I could find someone shorter than me that would be cool. I don’t mind if they’re taller though. Blondes are cool I guess.” He looks at Yamaguchi. 

“Well, I guess you and Yamaguchi have something in common,” Tsukki says sarcastically. Kageyama glares at him and tries to control the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Are you gonna read the letter, Yamaguchi?” Hinata asks, switching the conversation.

“Uh.. I’ll probably read it later when I get home.” Hinata hummed in response and they all lapsed into silence. 

Kageyama’s thoughts drifted back to their conversation. Blondes? Since when? Is he saying he likes someone like Yachi? It would make sense with how close they are. He feels a stinging pain in his chest and looks away. The sour feeling he felt so often last year crawls up his spine. It was usually the feeling accompanied by Yachi’s presence during lunch when she giggled too much when Hinata said something or leaned too close. It seemed like everyone’s mood had taken a turn. They chewed their food in silence. They split up when the bell rung and Kageyama gathered his things slowly. He scowled. His second year brought with it a swirl of emotions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, so i realize this chapter is pretty short but i’m going to be skipping around in time, so these are just glimpses into some moments in their second year. hope you like it and please leave any thoughts! - daisy


	17. The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the beach and a reunion.

Kageyama is laying on his bed with his eyes shut. He shuffles around and settles on his side to face the wall. He can’t seem to fall asleep for some reason; he feels restless. 

Hinata is laying on the floor in the futon that has taken up permanent residence in his room. The rolled up mat has found its way into Kageyama’s closet in the past few months and hasn’t left since. Usually, it’s stored in the hall closet, but Hinata stays over so often that he just keeps it in here now. No one else ever uses it anyway. It’s basically Hinata’s now. 

Kageyama takes in slow and even breaths to soothe his body into a state of sleep. After a few minutes, he was hoping he would calm down enough to drift away. It didn’t work. He shoves the thin sheet covering his legs off of his body. He thinks the summer heat is causing him to miserably lie awake. He feels frustrated. He shuts his eyes again and scrunches up into a ball. As more time passes, he feels slightly relaxed and drowsiness starts to set in. 

He hears Hinata move around on the futon and then it’s quiet again. All he can hear are the sounds of cicadas outside and his even breaths. He keeps his eyes closed, and just as he thinks he’s about to fall asleep, he feels a weight sink on the bed behind him. Kageyama’s breath stills but he lies motionless. He feels a hand snake it’s way up his back and drift to his side. They skim up and down. The fingers feel like they’re scorching his skin, even with a layer of clothing separating them. The small hand slides over his stomach and then moves downwards towards the hem of his shirt. It’s alarmingly close to the waistband of his shorts. Deft fingers tickle his skin as they inch underneath the shirt. 

As soon as the fingers make contact with his skin, he feels heat flow through his body. Kageyama’s breath has become ragged and he squeezes his eyes shut even tighter and clenches his jaw. He refuses to move from his spot. 

The hand continues to move upwards, sliding his shirt up as well. His stomach muscles clench. He feels out of breath, as though he was just running, his heart hammering in his chest. The hand feels rough and slightly calloused. They feel way too familiar and they undeniably belonged to Hinata. He’s felt them before with his own hands, but this feels completely different. The heat in the room feels suffocating even with the summer weather. 

The hand has slowly reached his chest now and he feels a warm breath tickle his neck, entirely too close. “Kageyama,” a voice whispers and breathes out a sigh. The breath fans out onto his ear and he can’t hold back a shiver. He whimpers and tries to lay still. His body feels wrecked, as though he may break out into a sweat. 

The fingers begin rubbing more fervently up and down his body. He feels the weight of a body press against his, Hinata’s chest weighing on his back and hips rub against his. Kageyama gasps. The hand pulls at his shoulder and he concedes, rolling over onto his back. 

Hinata is looming over him now, eyes burning into his. His shirt is pulled up to his armpits, and Hinata continues running his hand up and down his abdomen. “Hinata,” he whispers. The shorter boy smiles and leans down, pressing his body down on him. Hinata’s mouth hovers over his neck and he feels his breath tickle his skin. 

The hand moves lower onto his hip. Kageyama’s heartbeat feels erratic. He doesn’t know how to respond and simply continues laying there. When he feels Hinata’s lips on his neck, he shuts his eyes again. They feel hot on his exposed skin. A tongue darts out and licks a stripe towards his ear. “Tobio,” Hinata whispers. Kageyama chokes. He feels Hinata fully climb on top of him, the weight bearing down on his hips. He tries not to move. Hinata’s mouth nips at his ear. His hand is still massaging his lower body. He feels them tickling his thigh. Hinata shifts his weight and Kageyama squeaks at the friction. It causes his body to jolt and the bed creaks with their movement. 

“Hinata, wha-“

“Shh.” Hinata cuts him off and presses his mouth against his jawline. His hand moves higher up on his thigh. Kageyama feels like he has a fever. His body aches. It begins to shake and the heat is overwhelming. He feels Hinata all over him.

He can’t lie still anymore. He brings his hand up to Hinata’s shoulder and tries to move him back. He wants to see Hinata’s face, but can’t seem to get the boy to move away from sucking and licking on his neck. Kageyama slides his long fingers down from his shoulder to his chest. He tries to push him away again.

“Hina-“

Hinata slams his lips onto his and immediately cuts of the words coming out of his mouth. He whimpers again and his eyes jolt open, except when they do he finds nothing there but empty space. His lips tingle. Hinata is nowhere in sight. He glances around his dark room and feels sweat dripping down his forehead. His body is still shaking. Kageyama grabs his phone to find that it’s still very early in the morning. There’s a text from Hinata that says he’s coming over in the morning. They were supposed to be going to the beach. He tosses his phone away from him. 

What the fuck was that? This can’t be happening. He didn’t just have a dream about Hinata, especially not in that state. What the fuck? What the _fuck_? 

He presses the base of his hands into his eyes and groans. This can’t be happening. How is he supposed to face Hinata tomorrow. He feels sick. Maybe he can use that as an excuse to bail on their plans tomorrow. He knows Hinata would never let that happen though. They’ve been planning this trip for weeks. Kageyama rolls over on his bed and gets up to walk to the bathroom. He flicks the light on and stares at himself in the mirror. He’s a mess. His hair is tousled in all directions and his cheeks are flushed. He still feels slightly clammy and he lets out a long sigh. 

Kageyama reaches his hand towards the sink and turns the faucet on. He splashes his face with cold water. It helps him cool down a little, but his insides still feel like a wreck. He avoids looking at himself in the mirror again and shuts the light off. He stumbles slightly as he enters his room again. He flops back onto the bed. He definitely wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. 

* * *

In the morning, Hinata shows up at his house, as promised. Kageyama opens the front door to let him in. He avoids making eye contact and walks back up the stairs. Hinata follows him and is chirping about how excited he is. Kageyama feels miserable. He was barely able to fall asleep before his alarm clock woke him up. He forced himself to get out of bed and shower. 

When they reach his room, Hinata follows him in and shuts the door. Kageyama’s heart rate picks up. Having Hinata in the room he just dreamed about made him feel queasy. He did his best to act normal and ignores it. He focuses on packing his bag for the beach and tosses random clothes into it. He zips it shut and lets out a sigh.

“You okay, Kageyama?” He felt like he was going to break. Hearing his voice this close was not helping the situation. His name slipped off of his tongue too easily. The tone was soft and warm. It was a contrast to the gravelly and needy one he heard in his dream. 

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Tired? Did you sleep last night, bakayama?”

“Of course I did, moron.” 

“So, then how are you tired?”

“Just am.”

“Hmm.” Hinata hums and gives him a weird look before looking away. “Are you all ready to go? Yamaguchi’s mom is probably waiting for us.”

“Yeah.” 

Kageyama grabs his bag and walks down the stairs. He stops in the kitchen to tell his parents he was leaving. They smile at him and wave at Hinata as they left. Kageyama’s dad has finally warmed up to the red head. He figures that it’s probably because they’re both on the same team and they’re constantly practicing when Hinata is over. 

The pair walk down the street in silence. It’s a nice day out. Since it’s still early in the morning, the heat is manageable. Birds are chirping in the trees and the morning breeze feels calming. Kageyama’s mood has slightly improved and he feels less out of control. 

When they reach Yamaguchi’s house, Tsukki is already standing outside by the car with his bag. Yamaguchi comes out of the house with his own bag and waves at them. 

“Hey, guys!” 

“Hey, Yams!” Hinata exclaims. Tsukki and Kageyama roll their eyes at his loud voice this early in the day. They pile into the car and Yamaguchi’s mom pulls away from the driveway. She’s polite and quiet. It matches up with Yamaguchi’s demeanor. 

There’s soft music playing in the car as they drive. The car ride should take about an hour for them to reach the beach. Kageyama shifts in his seat. Somehow, he got stuck with sitting in the middle of Hinata and Tsukki. 

Kageyama refuses to look at Hinata, so he stares out the window on Tsukki’s side. He shifts around in his seat and rearranges his clothes. Tsukki let’s out a sigh but continues to look out the window as well. After half an hour passes, Kageyama still feels slightly uncomfortable, mostly from being stuck in the middle. His height and long legs weren’t helping, but also due to his proximity to Hinata. His side is pressed against his and its an unwelcome reminder of what his mind conjured up last night. He shifts again. Hinata is quiet for once, but shifts as well. His arm rubs against Kageyama. 

After another ten minutes Kageyama moves again. Tsukki, apparently fed up with the disturbances removes his headphones and glares. 

“What’s your problem today?” Tsukki whispers. No one else can hear it above the music, but Kageyama is sitting right next to him. He turns his head and glares.

“I don’t have a problem. My legs just hurt from sitting like this.” Tsukki rolls his eyes and puts his headphones back over his ears. 

He tries not to move, he really does, but he feels restless. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but he felt like he was going insane sitting in this car. Tsukki just about snaps. 

He pulls his phone out and aggressively presses on the screen. 

‘Seriously, what the fuck is up with you, asshole?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Tell me or I’ll kick you right now.’ Kageyama gives him a pointed look and locks his phone. Tsukki proceeds to kick him full force in the shin with the back of his foot. Kageyama holds back a yelp and glares at him. If they weren’t in this god forsaken car, they’d probably start brawling on the ground again. Hinata and Yamaguchi glance at them, apparently hearing their small scuffle. They both put on innocent faces, and the other two make weird faces and glance away. 

‘Tell me what the fuck is up, or so help me god, I’ll throw you out of the car while we’re still on the highway.’ Kageyama pouts and types a message on his phone before erasing it. He begins typing again, but Tsukki sends another message. ‘It’s Hinata, isn’t it?’ Kageyama let’s out a sigh. 

‘Yeah. I had a weird dream.’

Tsukki can barely stifle the laugh that bursts out of his throat. He slaps a hand over his mouth. The boys glance at him and then look away once his face has returns to a blank stare. 

‘You’re fucking kidding. That’s what all this is about? A wet dream about that fucking cheeto puff?’ 

Kageyama wants to cry. Why the fuck did he decide to have friends? 

‘Shut the fuck up. This is why I didn’t want to tell you. And it wasn’t a wet dream.’

‘This is way too funny and if it wasn’t a wet dream, then explain why it was so weird.’ His face turns red. 

‘We had a sleepover and Hinata got in my bed.’

‘Fucking gross. Tell me more. What else happened?’

Kageyama types out a message and hesitates. He hits send though. He really didn’t feel like getting kicked again. 

‘He was like touching my chest and then he kissed me.’

Tsukki gave him a bored look out of the corner of his eye. 

‘That’s fucking it? That’s what you’re freaking out over?’

‘Yes, what the fuck? It’s fucking Hinata.’ 

‘Who cares. We’re teenagers. It happens.’

‘Ugh. He’s always so touchy though.’ Kageyama sent back. Hinata leaned over his shoulder and tried to snoop.

“Who ya textin, Kageyama?” He jumps and almost drops his phone. He regains his grip on it and quickly moves it away from his prying eyes. 

“No one.” 

“I just saw you close the text app though.”

“It was my mom.”

“I thought you weren’t texting anyone, baka.” 

“Shut up.” Kageyama grabs his hair and yanks it. Hinata squawks and grabs his hair back. They start wrestling and in the process, Kageyama elbowed Tsukki in the face. 

“Oi!” Tsukki joins in and starts punching the shit out of his back. 

“Boys!” Yamaguchi’s mom yells. They all freeze. That was the loudest they had ever heard her speak. She reaches her hand out to turn the music down. “Please don’t fight, okay? If you’re gonna do that, wait until we’re out of the car.” Kageyama releases Hinata’s hair and Tsukki put his hand down. Hinata releases his grip as well. Kageyama slumps in his seat in embarrassment. 

“Gomen, Yamaguchi-san,” they all mumble. Yamaguchi was giggling from the front seat. His mom lightly slaps him on the head and he settles down too. 

Ten minutes later, they finally got to the beach. They pile out of the car and Kageyama stretches his legs. He was fucking glad that was over with. Hinata ran over to him and grabs his arms to drag him towards the sand. Kageyama jumpsand snatches his arm away. He didn’t realize what he was doing, but the touch felt like it burned him. Hinata’s eyes widen and look at him in confusion. Hinata settles his arm back by his side. 

“You ready to go?” 

“Yeah, sorry. There was something on my arm,” Kageyama answers. Tsukki snickered behind him. 

They all walked toward the beach to set their stuff down. Yamaguchi’s mom chose a spot away from them to sit down and relax for the day. Noya and Tanaka had already chosen a spot for them. They were settled in waiting for them. Noya finally got his license and he was way too excited to drive them. Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita had come along too. They were getting stuff from the car apparently. Suga, Daichi, and Asahi were planning to come later as well. They had finished their first semester at university and wanted a break before they came. Kageyama waves at them and Noya jumps up, running towards them. 

“You made it! Let’s get in the water!” He starts punching Kageyama and Tsukki in the side. He groans and put his arms up in surrender. 

“As your vice captain, I demand that you all put sunscreen on before going anywhere. Gotta take care of our luscious skin for the ladies.” Tanaka says with a smug grin. He held up a bottle of spray sunscreen and flexes his arms. Tsukki scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Wow, so responsible, Tanaka-senpai.” Hinata says. Tanaka grins and tosses him the bottle. 

They set their bags down and started removing their shirts to spray it on. Hinata was the first to do so and quickly sprayed his entire body. His skin shimmered in the sunlight from the spray. Kageyama felt like he was either going to throw up or explode. Hinata had grown quite a bit in the past year. Maybe not vertically, but everywhere else. He was more toned and filled out now. Training had pushed his body to the limits and it definitely showed. He sprinted off towards the water and Kageyama was left gaping after him. 

Tanaka and Noya began spraying themselves next and Kageyama stood and waited for his turn to take the bottle. Tsukki elbows him hard in the ribs. 

“Ow, what the fuck was that for?”

“For elbowing me earlier, but also, you’re staring at Hinata like a starving man. It’s creepy.” He was fucking starving, but probably not for the right reasons. He didn’t say it out loud though. Kageyama just grimaces and takes the bottle from Noya to spray himself. 

When they’re all finished, they all jump into the water. They swam around and occasionally Kageyama would splash Hinata in the face. That’s what he gets for making him feel crazy. Hinata would sputter and spit water out before splashing water back at him. Tanaka was caught in the cross fire and joined in on their splashing. It turned into everyone splashing each other and people giving them annoyed looks. 

Kageyama and Tsukki swam out further into the water until their feet couldn’t reach the bottom anymore. As Tsukki surges forward, Kageyama felt a streak of competitiveness and swan forward too. Hinata and Noya tried to follow them, but their lack of height didn’t help their situation. Hinata starts paddling and kicking his feet in an attempt to try to keep up, but began panicking when he couldn’t reach the bottom. He’s flailing in the water. Tsukki watches with an amused look. Kageyama just watches him struggle. Noya grabs his arm and starts dragging him back to the shallow part of the water. 

“Guys! Why are you so far? Also, why didn’t anyone help me?” Hinata squeals. 

“I thought you were just pretending. You looked like you could handle it.” Tsukki says with a bored look. 

“Why would I fake drowning?!” Tsukki and Kageyama just shrugged. They started swimming farther out. The rest of the group stayed in the shallow water. 

They stopped swimming at some point and started treading water. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t drowned yet,” Tsukki says. 

“I’m not, Hinata. I actually know how to swim.” 

“Mhm. Sure. Seriously, though. If you keep staring at him like that, he’ll definitely think something is up.”

“I’m not staring.”

“Uh huh,” Tsukki responds. Kageyama frowns. They tread water for a little while before they start swimming back towards the group. 

When they got back, Noya jumps up and down. “Finally! What were you guys doing out there? Making out?” 

“Ew. What the fuck? I would never make out with the king. You on the other hand, maybe.” Tsukki winks at Noya.Noya pretends to blush and covers his face.

“Tsukki, you’re making me blush. Don’t expose us like that!” Tanaka bursts out laughing. Noya laughs as well and Tsukki just winks again. 

Yamaguchi gave them a weird look and glances away with a frown. Hinata was frowning too and glancing between Tsukki and Kageyama. 

“Who wants to play chicken fight?” Noya asks jumping around in the water again. Everyone groans, but agrees. They split into pairs and set up a tournament. 

Yamaguchi climbs on Tsukki’s shoulders to fight Noya and Tanaka. The former of the two pairs lost quickly. Tanaka and Noya were vicious and quickly ran forward to shove Yamaguchi over. Yamaguchi flailed in the air and splashed into the water, bringing Tsukki down with him. Tanaka and Nishinoya cheer and pump their fists in the air. It was expected though. Kageyama saw how flustered Tsukki and Yamaguchi were in that position. 

Him and Hinata were up next. They were going against Narita and Kinoshita. Ennoshita had declared himself as the ref and watched them set up to fight. 

Kageyama squats down for Hinata to climb on his shoulders. He felt Hinata’s hands grip his shoulders before hopping up onto them. He felt his toned thighs wrap around his head. Now was not the time to think about that. Hinata was surprisingly heavy for his small size. The lean muscle must’ve made up a large part of his weight. Kageyama adjusts his position and grabs Hinata’s legs to stabilize him.His skin was so soft. He pushed the thought away and stepped in front of Kinoshita, who was on Narita’s shoulders. 

“Go!” Ennoshita yells. 

Kageyama steps forward and Hinata flung his arms out to push at Kinoshita. Narita was surprisingly stable and held onto Kinoshita. The two boys shove at each other and Kageyama moved around to make sure Hinata didn’t lose balance. They continue to push each other for a while until Kageyama moves forward. He’s not sure why, but he knew in that moment to push forward in a large step. It gave Hinata enough momentum to shove Kinoshita backwards and the pair topple over into the water. Kageyama and Hinata cheer.

Now was the real challenge. Noya and Tanaka smirk at them as they got ready. Noya climbs onto Tanaka’s shoulders. 

“Go!” Ennoshita shouts again. 

Noya let’s out a battle cry. Both pairs rush forward and begin shoving at each other. Kageyama releases his grip on Hinata’s legs and starts pushing at Tanaka. Tanaka shoves back. They begin moving around in the water as they wrestle to knock each other over. Nishinoya’s feral energy is unmatched though and eventually, he jumps forward, almost falling off of Tanaka’s shoulders, and shoves Hinata all the way back. Hinata falls backwards and Kageyama falls over too, trying to catch them before they splash into the water. He fails and they sink below the water. Hinata untangles his legs from around his shoulders and they come up from the water sputtering. 

Tanaka and Noya are still shouting about their victory. Noya jumps off of Tanaka into the water and swims over to them. “Good job, guys! That was so fun!” Noya grins and high fives both of them. Kageyama has finally caught onto high fives and does it back. 

“Let’s get out and reapply sunscreen team!” Ennoshita shouts. A few people grudgingly hang behind, but they eventually get out of the water too. 

Just as they’re stepping out of the water, they see the third years walking onto the beach past the sand dunes. 

“Asahi!” Noya yells at full volume and sprints across the sand to bear hug the ace. Asahi hugs him back with a smile. 

“Hey, we’re here too!” Suga says with a smile. Daichi smiles at him too. 

“Hey, you guys! I missed all of you! I’m glad you made it.”

“Of course, we wanted to see all of our kouhais,” Daichi says and ruffles Noya’s wet hair. 

“I see all the first years are here too! Well, I guess they’re second years now, but still.” Suga beams. They all walk up to their large group. 

“Captain!” Hinata exclaims. He runs over and hugs all of the third years.

“It’s nice to see all of you. I hope you’re all getting along.” Daichi says and gives them a look. Hinata quickly nods.

“We’re actually all friends now. Yamaguchi’s mom drove us and we came here together.” Daichi smiles like a proud dad and ruffles Hinata’s hair too. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” He turns to Kageyama and ruffles his hair too. Suga comes up and gives him a hug. He looks adoringly at the team. He was briefly reminded of his own mom. 

“Sunscreen, everyone.” Ennoshita claps his hands to gather their attention. He’s taken to captain position well. Daichi smiles at him and chats about the teams progress. Kageyama watches them and feels nostalgic. He missed their team. He didn’t mind the first years, but it was impossible to replicate the bond they created with the third years. They had gone through so much together.

Hinata interrupts his thoughts and shoves the sunscreen bottle at him.

“Can you spray my back, I can’t reach.” Kageyama tilts his head. He could most definitely reach. He did it before. He grabs the bottle anyway. He feels his hands begin to sweat. He sprays Hinata’s back and tries not to stare. Hinata turned his head. “Rub it in or it’s not gonna be even.”

Kageyama resisted the urge to scream and slowly lifts his hand to rub his back. He gently spreads the sunscreen with his hand. He tried to ignore the thoughts that filled his head. 

“Thanks, Kageyama.” Hinata said with a grin when he finished. Kageyama nods and turns away to spray himself. 

“Here, I’ll get your back too.” Hinata says and snatches the bottle to walk behind him. The cold spray causes him to jolt. He tried to remain still as Hinata’s small hands worked their way down his back. He tried not to tense his muscles. The feeling felt too familiar to his dream. He shut his eyes and willed the thoughts away. He was moving achingly slow. He wishes it was over with already. When Hinata finishes, he pats Kageyama on the shoulder and smiled. They stare at each other for a split second longer than necessary before turning back to the group. 

“How about a game of beach volley?” Suga suggests. Everyone quickly agrees. They split into teams. Suga, Daichi, Ennoshita, Kinoshita, Tsukki, and Asahi are on one side of the net. Kageyama, Hinata, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Narita and Yamaguchiare on the other side. 

Yamaguchi starts the match off with a jump floater. It almost hit the net thought. He messed up his footing in the uneven sand. Daichi jumps forward to receive the ball. 

“Nice receive!” Asahi yells. The ball went to Suga. He set it to Ennoshita. He tries to jump to spike it, but didn’t get enough height in the sand. 

“Don’t mind!” Daichi and Kinoshita yells. 

Yamaguchi adjusts this time for the instability of the sand. The ball floats over the net and Daichi barely received it in time. He bumps the ball too hard and it flies back over the net.

“Chance ball!” Narita yells. Nishinoya ran forward to dig it. Kageyama sets himself under the ball and sends it to Hinata. The red head tries to jump, but encounters the same issue as Ennoshita. He doesn’t get enough height in his jump and the ball skims over the net. The ball lands on the other side by the net. They couldn’t get to the ball in time and they get the point. Hinata looks confused, but there’s something else in his eyes. An unquenchable thirst to conquer his faults. His eyes are on fire as they land on Kageyama. He knows that look. It’s the burning desire to climb higher and win. 

Kageyama swallows and returns to his position for the next play. Yamaguchi serves again and Daichi receives the ball. He sends it to Suga again, who sets it to Asahi. He tries to slam it down, but Noya is there to dig the ball again. Kageyama sets the ball to Hinata and the shorter boy swings his arm. It misses. 

This is the first time they haven’t synced in a long time. Hinata stares in confusion. He clenches his hand into a fist. 

“One more.” He says with determination. 

Yamaguchi serves again, but his foot slips in the sand. The ball lands on their side of the net. The ball goes to the other side, and Asahi serves and lands a service ace. 

“Tch.” Hinata clicks his tongue. He’s definitely fired up today. Noya and Tanaka look frustrated too. The sand is effecting all of them. 

Asahi serves and Narita receives the ball. Kageyama sets to Hinata. He gets it over the net this time, but Daichi is quick to receive the ball. The ball is set to Tsukki who slams it down. His height helps even with the unstable sand. 

The score is neck and neck throughout the game. Hinata continues to swing and miss every other ball. His height and instability in the sand is frustrating him. Kageyama wishes he could help, but he can’t do much other than hope Hinata adjusts. 

They lose the match and settle down on the sand to cool down and stretch. Hinata looks furious. Kageyama can somewhat understand where his anger is coming from. His jump is his ultimate weapon and on the sand, he’s practically incapacitated. 

“Kageyama. I want to practice some more on the sand.” Kageyama nods. He doesn’t mind getting some extra practice on a different surface. 

They drift away from the group and he sets for Hinata. By the time Hinata is worn out, he looks even more frustrated. He can’t seem to get his footing correct in the sand. As much as he tries, he doesn’t get the boost he needs to jump at the normal height he does. He feels weighed down. 

“I’m going to conquer the sand. Maybe notright now, but I will.” Hinata says. He steels his voice and stares ahead in fiery determination. Kageyama can only nod. He doesn’t see why it’s such a big deal. They play indoor volleyball anyway. It feels foreboding, but he ignores it. He turns away and walks back to the group. 

They spend the rest of the day tanning on the beach or swimming in the water. By the time the sun sets, everyone is tired. They agree to go eat at a restaurant nearby.

When they get there, they all dig in. Everyone is ravenous after a long day of physical exertion. The third years chat about university and the team catches them up on new plays. It’s been an eventful day and Kageyama is glad to bond with everyone. Hinata still seems to be lost in thought. 

After the meal, they pay their part and disperse to their separate cars. Suga and Daichi watch the team leave like proud parents. Yamaguchi, Tsukki, Hinata, and Kageyama pile into their car. The car ride back is quiet this time. Hinata quickly drifts to sleep on Kageyama’s shoulder. He ignores the feeling of his face on his skin. Kageyama shuts his eyes and wonders what the rest of the year holds for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! this is the longest chapter i’ve written so far! i hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think! also, this is the first time i’ve ever written something spicy like that, so if it’s awkward just keep that in mind lmaoo. my apologies. i’m embarrassed. - daisy


	18. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi is distracted and Tsukishima is scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, this story is not completely canon compliant, so there are no real spoilers about nationals and all of that. just a warning.

“Who’re you texting?” Tsukki asks.

Yamaguchi continues typing on his phone and giggling. He pauses for a moment, as if he’s reading another message, and then giggles again. Tsukki frowns.

“Hello? Earth to Yamaguchi.” Tsukki snaps his fingers in front of his face. 

“What? Oh, sorry. Did you say something?” Tsukki let’s out an irritated sigh and rolls his eyes. They’re sitting in Tsukki’s room and a boring sci-fi move is playing in the background. 

“I was just asking who you’re texting? You keep smiling at your phone.”

Yamaguchi laughs lightly. “Oh, it’s just Sato.”

“Sato? Who’s that?” 

“Oh.. uh.. it’s the girl who gave me that letter a few weeks ago.”

“Oh.” A beat of silence hangs in the air. “So, are you dating now?” 

“Oh, no. We’re.. um.. just friends for now. We just want to get to know each other.” For now? Tsukki’s heart squeezes. 

“Oh, okay.” Yamaguchi’s never been big on texting. Tsukki knows that he prefers to see people in person rather than over the phone. They’re just friends, right? It’s not a big deal. Yamaguchi can have other friends. Tsukki tries to ignore the nervous ache in chest. 

* * *

Tsukki isn’t sure who he hates more, himself or the wonder duo that dragged him here. It was a few weeks into the fall and Hinata insisted that he should accompany him and Kageyama on their bimonthly trip to some cafe in town. Apparently, it was to die for. He also mentioned that Oikawa used to work there, so it has be good, to which Kageyama glared at him. 

Tsukki invited Yamaguchi along, but he said something about already having plans that he couldn’t get out of. He assumed it was a family thing and begrudgingly decided to go with the lovebirds himself. Kageyama didn’t seem pleased. 

Hinata is chatting his ear off about some cheese danish and how he just _has_ to try it. Tsukki wonders why he ever agrees to this stuff when he’d rather just be at home or with Yamaguchi, but the latter wasn’t an option. He figures that this would be better than just laying in bed all day. 

It’s warm out today, but he still opted to wear a jean jacket. It would be cool by the time they walked home in the evening, and he refuses to shiver in a t-shirt like Hinata normally does. He follows the two into the small shop and breathes in the scent of baked goods. It’s quaint and homey inside. He sees why Hinata is so obsessed with it. There’s wood paneling on the walls and plants everywhere. They’re on every table and hang from the large window by the front door. He sees a large glass case of pastries and plenty of espresso and coffee machines behind the counter. There’s art and fairy lights hung up on the walls. He could see himself studying here with Yamaguchi.

He glances around at the tables and stills. It’s quite crowded for such a small cafe, but he recognizes the pair immediately. Yamaguchi is sitting across from Sato with a giant smile plastered on his face. He can see the blush covering his freckles and he watches as he starts giggling behind his hand. Sato is giggling now too and tucks a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear. They’re both dressed quite nicely for a cafe when compared to what his trio had on. Sato is wearing a soft pink sundress with strawberries on it and a creme cardigan. Yamaguchi has on a pair of black jeans, a black shirt, and a brown flannel jacket over top. 

Tsukki has never seen him wear that before and wonders if it’s new. They continue chatting and Yamaguchi lays his hand on the table. Sato timidly places her hand on top of his and they both flush at the contact. Tsukki watches with bated breath and stands frozen by the entrance. 

Hinata turns around, confused by Tsukki’s sudden lack of movement. He looks between Tsukki and his far off gaze. Hinata’s eyes widen and he realizes the predicament they’re in. Hinata stares at their table as well.

Kageyama is a little slow on the pick up and lags behind. He looks between his two friends with confusion and asks them where they want to sit. They don’t answer.

“What the fuck are you guys looking at?” Kageyama gives them a weird look before turning his head towards the direction they’re looking. His mouth drops open and he gapes like a fish. After a minute of floundering around in silence, he speaks again, “Um.. we can eat somewhere else if you guys want.” 

“Yeah, I wanted to try somewhere new anyway. We’ve been here a thousand times,” Hinata says. 

“I don’t care. We can eat here,” Tsukki responds.

Kageyama and Hinata look between each other, conflict and embarrassment in their eyes. 

“Uh.. okay. Let’s find a table.” Hinata finally speaks up. Tsukki follows behind the two of them and settles into a table on the other side of the cafe. 

Tsukki resists the urge to look up from his menu and glance at Yamaguchi’s table. He clenches his hands around the menu and focuses his attention on the options on the paper. He decides to get the danish that Hinata recommended and a cup of hot tea. He needs to calm down. 

The waitress comes over to take their order and they sit in awkward silence. 

“So, how is everyone’s da-“

Tsukki suddenly stands and interrupts Hinata. “I’m going to the bathroom.” 

“Uh, okay. We’ll be here.”

Kageyama glares at Hinata as he walks away. He hears Kageyama furiously whisper to Hinata. 

“Why would you tell Yamaguchi about this place if you were going to bring him here?”

“I didn’t know they’d be here today. I thought they were going somewhere else. Yamaguchi didn’t tell me the details.” Hinata whispers back and throws his hands in the air.

Tsukki clenches his jaw and practically stomps off. He takes a deep breath. He has to pass their damn table to get to the bathroom. He swiftly zooms past them and hopes that they don’t notice him. He keeps his eyes faced forward and refuses to let them stray to their table. 

He finally reaches the bathroom door and yanks it open. When he gets inside, it shuts behind him and walks to the sink. He removes his glasses and rubs his face. Why did they have to be here of all places? Were they on a date? Are they together now?

Tsukki has suspected that things have progressed in their ‘friendship’ in the past few weeks. Yamaguchi is glued to his phone and is easily distracted. Whenever he’s around him, he’s constantly texting or disappears from lunch early. 

Tsukki let’s out a long sigh and bends down to turn the faucet on. He splashes some cold water on his face before shutting it off. He looks at himself in the mirror and the person in the reflection looks tired. He sees bags  and glossy eyes. He clicks his tongue and looks away. He grabs a paper towel to dab his face with it and proceeds to exit the bathroom. Enough of this, he thinks. Whatever they were doing together wasn’t his business. He decides to focus on the rest of his day with the nitwits and enjoy his food. 

He quickly moves back towards his table. He swears he feels eyes on him, but ignores the urge to look around. Kageyama and Hinata immediately quiet down when he returns to the table. He glances between the two of them and they look down at their laps as though Daichi had just reprimanded them. Tsukki rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out. Kageyama had texted him 

‘You good?’ Probably not, he thinks. 

‘I’m fine.’ He sends back and locks his phone. He shoves it back into his pocket. 

The food arrives a few minutes later. Hinata was right about the danish. It was fucking good. It was warm and the cream in the center is smooth and moderately sweet. It’s not overbearing. He’s slightly surprised that Hinata would like this kind of thing. He’s always coined him as the type to enjoy tooth achingly sweet desserts. 

Tsukki relishes the sweet pastry and soothing tea, even with the bitter feeling welling in his stomach. 

“It’s good right, Tsukki?” Hinata asks.

“Yeah, what do you think?” Kageyama butts in. 

Tsukki finishes chewing slowly. “It’s alright.”

“Just alright?!” Hinata exclaims. 

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Hinata crosses his arms and pouts.

“Yeah.. would you want to come back though?” Not if Sato is here, he thinks.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Hinata cheers with a smug grin. 

“I knew you’d like it.” Tsukki rolls his eyes and continues sipping on his tea. 

When they finish up, they leave their money on the table with a tip. They gather their things and exit the store. 

He briefly glances back at the cafe. At least he knows why Yamaguchi couldn’t come along with him now. He would’ve loved to come here with him. He subconsciously wishes he was the one in that seat. 

* * *

It’s winter now. There’s only a few weeks left before nationals. Tsukki is practicing his blocks with the first years and rolls his eyes at their predictable spikes. The team wasn’t necessarily horrible this year, but it wasn’t great either. They definitely couldn’t compare to their team from last year. They don’t sync as well or communicate in the same way. The first years have potential, but they are progressing slowly. They’re not prepared for nationals at all. He’s surprised they even made it that far. They barely skimmed by with a win against Date Tech. Aone and Konganegawa were a force to be reckoned with this year. 

He watches as a first year scampers up to Yamaguchi and starts quietly speaking to him. He has light brown hair and plain brown eyes. He reminds him of a taller version of Nekoma’s libero, Yaku. What was his name again? He tries to remember and thinks it’s Nakajima or something. 

He listens in on their conversation. 

“Umm.. Yamaguchi-san?”

“Oh. Hey, Nakamura. What’s up?” Right, that’s his name. 

“Uh.. um.. I was wondering if you could teach me how to do your jump floater. I asked Kageyama-san but he glared at me. I think he was busy setting to Hinata.” Tsukki rolls his eyes. Of course, he was. When was he not busy with Hinata. 

“Oh, yeah. Come on. I’ll show you.” 

They drift off to the side and Yamaguchi begins showing him the motion of the serve with his arm. He points at a spot in the distance and explains how he uses it to refocus and center himself. Nakamura looks at him in awe and eagerly nods. He copies the motion and jumps in an attempt to serve. The ball is still in the air for a second before it loses its momentum and starts spinning before falling to the ground. Yamaguchi giggles  behind his hand and pats the first year on the back. Nakamura is pouting but runs after the ball. Yamaguchi comforts him and explains it again. He jumps into the air and serves a perfect jump floater. It lands near the end line on the other side of the court without rotating. It’s a stunning serve. He stares at Yamaguchi as he sets himself up for another one. His eyes are focused on the point in front of him. As he runs forward to jump, he suddenly stops and looks off to the side for a split second.

The sound of the gym door opening distracts him. Sato enters the gym with a blush on her face. The other boys glance at her without a care and then go back to practicing. Tsukki can’t look away though. She walks up to Yachi and begins chatting with her. They whisper to each other and look up at Yamaguchi every few seconds. 

Yamaguchi strides over to them with Nakamura in tow. 

“Ayumi, I’m surprised you actually came.” Ayumi? They’re on first name basis now? 

“Of course, I wanted to see you practice and support you!” They both blush and then look away from each other. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. She nods quickly and beams at him.

“I’ll let you get back to it. I’m just gonna stay over here with Yachi.” He nods back at her and turns back to Nakamura to help him. 

“Your girlfriend is so pretty, Yamaguchi-san.” He doesn’t hear what Yamaguchi responds, but sees him blushing. He waves his hand and shakes his head. Nakamura laughs and follows them back to the court to practice. 

Tsukki’s hand clenches into a fist. He releases his grip and turns away. He walks over to the freak duo to discuss their plans for nationals. 

A half an hour later, Ennoshita dismisses them to go home. He gives his team a pep talk and tells them to relax before nationals. Tsukki wasn’t sure he could at this point. 

Tsukki walks off to change in the club room. The first years stay behind to clean up. He slowly changes out of his workout clothes. Hinata is loudly talking to Kageyama and waving his arms in the air. All he could hear was ‘Gwah!’ and ‘Bleh!’ Hinata has always been difficult when it comes to his explanations about volleyball. He could never understand him, but Kageyama was always able to keep up. They seemed to have a mutual understanding of each other that Tsukki has rarely seen before. He’s slightly jealous of their bond. 

When he’s finished changing, Yamaguchi is already gone. He usually waits for him to walk home together, but he was nowhere in sight. Tsukki walks outside and looks over the railing. He sees Yamaguchi and Sato walking past the gates in the distance. The sour feeling turns his stomach violently. 

He walks home with Kageyama and Hinata. 

* * *

A month has passed since their matches at nationals. They succeeded in their goal of making it farther in nationals. They didn’t win, but they made it past the first round, which was an accomplishment in his eyes, at least when compared to last year. This was mostly attributed to the freak quick, Ennoshita’s leadership, and the third years. Narita and Kinoshita have become as essential to their team as Tanaka and Noya. Yamaguchi has become a phenomenal pinch server and the first years are not far behind. They’ll be great blockers and spikers by this time next year. He thinks they’ll be able to make it to nationals again in their final year, and possibly even make it further. 

Even if he won’t admit it, he’s sad to see his teammates graduate. He’s spent two years with them now and he can’t imagine what it will be like without Tanaka and Noya’s loud voices at practice. He’ll also miss Ennoshita who constantly put them in line and the other third years. 

High school has come and gone alarmingly fast. Tsukki can’t believe he’s already entering his third year. He’s not sure how to feel about being a senior and helping lead the team. 

He’s happy Yamaguchi made captain. He’s not sure he’d be able to get along with all the new members and guide them. Hinata made vice captain. Tsukki thinks it’s a good choice though. They work well as a pair and have the energy to lead the team to victory. He’s content with sitting back with Kageyama. They weren’t exactly the friendliest duo. He’s fine with that though. Kageyama never pushes him to act otherwise. He accepts him for all of his sarcasm and dry humor. 

He never expected them to grow so close. If someone would’ve told during his first year that they’d be friends, he’d probably tell them to fuck off. 

However, over the years, Tsukki has seen him grow into himself. Kageyama is unconditionally himself. Deep down, he’s soft and timid. He’s also much more introspective than he lets on. He’s always been able to reflect on situations in ways Tsukki wouldn’t have thought of. It’s eerie, but also helpful to Tsukki in his struggles with Yamaguchi and life in general. 

He comes off as abrasive and aggressive, but it’s actually just his unrelenting drive for success. He’ll let himself take on the burden of being disliked if it means he’ll succeed.

He never lets himself, or anyone else for that matter, slack off. He forces himself and others to reach their full potential. It makes him think of Oikawa. He may not be as charismatic as his senpai, but he’s not anything to be trifled with. 

He’s confident in his skills, as he should be. There was no denying that Kageyama is an exceptionally talented setter. His future is bright and his options are endless. At times, he envies him. He knows he can’t keep up though, but those two, they’re constantly battling to surge forward. There’s no one better to match up with each other. 

Not everyone can be a genius though, he knows that, but that’s not what makes Kageyama special. He knows that both Kageyama and Hinata have a devotion and love for volleyball that rises above his own. Their drive to succeed seems infinite. 

He watches them pour their hearts into the sport. They work themselves to the bone and constantly evolve. There’s never a moment where they aren’t changing. They are in a perpetual state of growth. They correct every minuscule error they encounter, even when he doesn’t notice them. Before he even realizes their flaws, they are already improving on them. It truly feels like they were destined to play together and dedicate themselves to volleyball. 

He rejoices in seeing them succeed, even if he doesn’t show it on the outside. He knows they’ll do great things in the world of volleyball. He can only wait to see what else they’re capable of doing. He knows they’ll fight through obstacles in their journey together. Tsukki ignores how sappy all of his sentimental thoughts are. He allows himself a moment to be proud of his friends and their success. 

He’s seen Hinata grow as well. He’s come from struggling to receive a basic pass and missing serves to a monster in his own right. He’s an unstoppable force on the court. 

He’s proud to call them teammates. He thinks the only thing that could surpass their passion for the sport is their passion for each other. It’s disgustingly beautiful. If he had to describe them, they would be kindred souls. They connect in a way that goes beyond sports and friendships. They’re partners in life. He wishes they could see that. He’s tired of seeing them love each other from afar, but he has the feeling that’s their fate for the time being, and the foreseeable future, if they don’t act. 

Tsukki knows it’s not his place to interject though. He hopes things will work out for them. As for himself, he’s not sure what his own love life holds for him. 

Yamaguchi has been disappearing from lunch more and more often. He’ll make up some excuse about studying or forgetting something in his classroom and runs off. This leaves Tsukki to suffer with the other two, as he can only watch him leave. It’s not his place to stop him from finding happiness, even if it’s not with him. 

He knows the excuses aren’t real though because he catches Yamaguchi holding hands with Sato in some deserted corner and whispering to each other. 

Yamaguchi has also taken to spending most of his free time with her as well. Their weekend and after school hangouts have become few and far between. 

At first, Tsukki would invite him over to study or play games, but Yamaguchi would either be busy or leave early. He never stayed with Tsukki for long and it seemed like the distance growing them was becoming suffocating. Yamaguchi barely looks at him anymore even during games or practices. Their movies nights have become a rare commodity and he clings onto the small moments he gets to have with the shorter boy. 

Sato continues coming by practice and it seems like her presence is never far when Yamaguchi is involved. He’s tired of seeing her. He barely even knows her. He’s not sure where they stand, but he thinks he should at least know more about his best friends girlfriend than her name. 

It’s the first time that Tsukki has been alone with Yamaguchi in weeks. They’re studying in Tsukki’s room and Yamaguchi is on his phone again. He considers asking him about her, but can’t bear to hear the details. They’re an hour into studying and Yamaguchi has barely gotten any work done. 

Tsukki doesn’t think this is working. They’re not being productive. For Tsukki, he’s getting distracted by Yamaguchi’s giggles, as well as his phone vibrating every few minutes. For Yamaguchi, he’s distracted by the girl on the other end of the line and her obnoxious crusade to take his best friend away from him. He tells Yamaguchi he’s tired and wants to wrap studying up for the night. He walks Yamaguchi to the door and asks him if they can have a movie night this weekend, but he doesn’t seem to hear him. 

Tsukki snaps. He’s fed up with being ignored and pushed to the side. He just wants his friend back.

“Oi! Yamaguchi, could you pay attention to something other than Ayumi for two seconds?”

“Huh?”

“Tch. I asked you if you wanted to have a movie night this weekend.”

“Oh. I can’t, I’m hanging out with Ayu-“

“Of course you fucking are. It’s a shame, really.”

“What? What’s a shame?” Tsukki walks forward and shuts the front door behind him. He doesn’t want to wake up his parents if they’re about to have this conversation. He’s sure it’s about to turn into an argument. He’s not wrong. 

“It’s a shame that you’re throwing away all of your potential for some girl.” He scowls at Yamaguchi.

“Tsukki, what? How am I throwing anything away? I’m just spending time with her.”

“That’s exactly the problem. You’re always spending time with her and getting distracted from what’s important. All you do is text her and you’re on your phone instead of studying and preparing for our last year. It’s ridiculous. We’re running out of time. We start college next year and we both need to prepare for entrance exams. You know neither of us can solely rely on volleyball as a career like the freak duo can.”

“I’m hardly distracting myself from my studies or failing classes by answering a few texts, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi scowls back at him. 

“Uh huh and you also ditch your friends to go see her everyday. Don’t think I didn’t notice. I see you two fondling each other in the middle of school.”

“We do not do that! You’re exaggerating all of this.” Tsukki rolls his eyes and continues on. 

“That’s not the worst of it though. She’s always barging into our practices and disrupting us. I would think as captain, you could see that. You have a team to lead. Ennoshita and Daichi left this all to you, to carry on their legacy and lead us to nationals, but here you are. You’re chasing after some useless girl that doesn’t even understand you or your responsibilities. She’s taking you away from practicing and studying seriously.”

“Are you serious right now? Don’t call her useless. You don’t fucking know her or what we have. Who are you to tell me what’s right or wrong? Don’t lecture me about responsibility or discredit the work I’ve done for the team. It’s more than you’ve done. All you have to do is show up for practice! Don’t bring Daichi or Ennoshita into this either.” 

“Who am I? I’m supposed to be your best friend. I’m just trying to look after you. I just want the best for you, and she’s not it.” Yamaguchi is shaking at this point. He looks like he’s furious. Fine. He can be mad at him all he wants if this makes him realize the truth. The atmosphere is tense and the silence wraps around them. It feels stifling. Yamaguchi finally breaks. 

“You don’t get to do that,” Yamaguchi says with a sneer.

“Do what?” Tsukki looks at him in shock and confusion. 

“Y-You don’t get to act like you care about me and tell me who I should be with. You kissed me and then ran away! You said it was a mistake.” Tsukki’s heart drops.

“Did you ever think about how that made me feel, huh? What was I supposed to think? Or were you too worried about what it would look like to be with someone like me? You pull me off into the woods so you don’t have to be seen with me and then kiss me. What, was it a joke to you? To see how desperately in love I was and boost your ego? Because that fucking hurt. It was never a mistake for me.” Tears begin to build in Yamaguchi’s eyes and he furiously wipes at them with his sleeve, as realization dawns on Tsukki. He’s been reading that situation wrong this entire time. 

“Yamaguchi, no. Wait. You don’t understand,” Tsukki’s says in a rushed voice. His hand trembles as he tries to reach out to him. He looks like he’s about to cry, but Yamaguchi swats his hand away. Tsukki jumps at the force of the blow. It stings and he feels his chest clench. 

“D-don’t. Don’t touch me. You looked so disgusted when I touched you, and I was so scared that was the moment you’d finally leave me behind. I always thought you were too cool for me, too smart, too talented. I thought I finally pushed you too far and took too much. I convinced myself that I pushed myself onto you. For weeks, I convinced myself that you didn’t want me and that it was a mistake.”

“But I wasn’t. I thought you-“

“You know what’s the worst part?” Tsukki shuts his mouth. His body is frozen in place as he stares at Yamaguchi’s hunched body. 

“What?” Tsukki whispers.

“The worst part is that I pathetically waited for you to chase after me for once. I didn’t want to be the little boy who follows you around anymore. 

I waited, hoping you would change your mind, hoping you would turn around and come back to kiss me. I waited and waited and you never showed up.

I wanted you to tell me it wasn’t a mistake, that you actually wanted it to happen, and that you wanted to be with me, but that never happened either. You ran like a coward like you always do and it broke my heart. So, I gathered up the pieces and moved the fuck on.” Yamaguchi’s voice breaks as he speaks. His body trembles. Tsukki wants nothing more than to reach out and calm him, to comfort him, to touch him one more time. 

“Yamaguchi, please just listen.” 

“No, you listen. You had all this time to fix things and you never did. You never apologized. You had all this time to say something about us, but no, I had to come crawling back and grovel about how I wanted to stay friends. I hid how I felt for you. I acted like everything was normal. I did it for your sake. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with my feelings. So, I found someone else who actually cares about me and isn’t embarrassed.” Yamaguchi hiccups and wipes his tears again. Tsukki can only watch with tears watering in his eyes. His heart aches. 

“Now you want to turn around and act like I’m the one who turned my back on you when you’re the one that left me there. You’re too afraid to show that you actually care about anything, well I don’t want that. You don’t fucking get to act like you give a shit now.”

“Ya-“

“Don’t Yamaguchi me!” Tsukki clamps his mouth shut and stares at his friend in shock. In all the years he’s known him, he’s never heard him yell or act like this before. Silence fills the air and all he can hear is Yamaguchi sniffling. 

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what? What do you want me to say?!”

“Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me, so I can move on.” Tsukki’s mouth is open, but words don’t come out. 

“TELL ME.” Yamaguchi hoarse voice yells with tears running down his cheeks. His face is flushed, as he heaves in labored breaths. 

“I-..” Tsukki tries to speak. His voice catches in his throat. He looks lost and stares at Yamaguchi, willing words to come out. 

“You what?” Yamaguchi asks. The tears have stopped and he stares at Tsukki with red rimmed eyes. His face is cold now. He feels empty. 

“I.. You.. ” Tsukki fumbles. He feels empty too. 

“I fucking knew it.” Yamaguchi spits. He looks at him with disdain and sadness in his eyes. Yamaguchi turns and starts walking away, leaving him there. He’s halfway down the road before his mind can catch up. No. He can’t let him leave him. 

“I love you!” The words tear out of his throat before he can stop them. It’s the only thing he can think of in that moment. He wishes he could be more romantic and make up for the shitty things he’s done, but it’s all he can offer. Yamaguchi stills. 

“Don’t say that if you’re just going to pity me.” He slowly turns back around.

“I’m not! I swear I’m not. I love you. I don’t know when it started, but I know I do. In between the moments where we laid in bed together with some corny movie on and our late nights together, I fell in love with you. 

I fell in love with the Tadashi that always has cold hands. I fell in love with the Tadashi that tells me when I’m wrong. I fell in love with the Tadashi that likes his pizza cold rather than fresh from the box. The one that drools in his sleep. The one that saves our team when we need him. The one that is as blind as I am, but refuses to get glasses. The one that shares his lunch with me and walks me home. The Tadashi that has always stood by my side since that day at the playground. You’re the one that’s cool. I was never good enough for you and I desperately wish I could be. 

I should never have doubted you. I am so proud of you as our captain. I am so proud of who you’ve become. You’re not the little boy that follows me around. You’re a brave leader and someone who inspires others. I look up to you. I’m the one chasing after you. I’d do anything to be with you again. I’d do anything to have those moments with you again. To lay close enough to run my fingers over your freckles. To breath the same air and feel your rough hair on my shoulder. 

I just-.. I’m sorry, I know I fucked up. I really really fucked up at the shrine and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I promise you it wasn’t a mistake. I should’ve never said that, but you have to understand. I was so scared. I was so terrified that you wouldn’t want to be with me. I didn’t think you could love me, or at least not someone like me. I’m mean, I push people away, I never say the right things. I’m afraid of my own emotions and I bury them where they can’t see the light of day. I thought you were the one disgusted with me. 

The look on your face after we kissed scared the shit out of me. I thought that was the end for us. I thought you were only putting up with me and you couldn’t bare to be more than friends. I couldn’t lose you. 

I thought I could accept this and have you in any way I could, but I’m selfish. I can’t stand seeing you with someone else. I can’t watch you love someone else. I want to be the only one that gets to love you. I want to be the only one that hears you snoring at night and snuggling up to your pillow. 

I’m scared, Tadashi. I’m sorry that I can’t be someone deserving of you. I’m sorry for what I did. You’re such a good person and I know I can’t measure up, but I can be there for you. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you with anyone else. I know you can’t love me back, but I love you. I want to be with you more than anything. I’m in love with you and I’m so scared.”

Tsukki is shaking by the time he finishes. He has tears running down his face from his rant and breathes out. He feels the crushing weight of defeat as he braces himself for rejection. It’s too late. 

“Tsukki..”

He looks up with tears still rolling down his cheeks. 

“I know. It’s okay.”

“No.” Yamaguchi surges forward and grabs his shirt in his fists. He forcefully pulls him down. Their lips clash together. They’re cold with tears and he feels snot dribbling from his nose. They’re both crying as they kiss, lips mashed together. 

His breath heaves in his body. He feels like he’s barely there in that moment. His breath leaving him. He holds his mouth there as Yamaguchi’s lips slide against his. Yamaguchi hiccups and pulls back. 

They stare at each other with teary eyes. 

“I love you.” 

Tsukki feels his heart stutter. It feels impossibly fast in his chest. 

“I’ve waited so long for this. I love you, Kei. I’ve always loved you from the beginning.” 

Tsukki can’t don’t anything but lean down and press their lips together again. They stay like that for a few minutes, stumbling through a kiss and grabbing at each other’s hair. 

When they break apart, Tsukki stares at his bruised lips. 

“What does this mean for us?” Tsukki whispers. He’s prepared himself to let go of it means they can only be friends. He knows he won’t ever get over it or stop loving him, but if it’s truly what Yamaguchi wants then he’ll have to live with it. It’s his fault they’re in this situation.

“I-I don’t know. I’m still upset about everything, but I.. I know that I’m in love with you too. I know that I want to be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course I will.” Yamaguchi cracks a smile for the first time that night. He looks worn out and still slightly hurt, but he looks like Yamaguchi again. 

“Then I’d be glad to call myself your boyfriend and don’t ever say you’re not good enough for me again. You’re more than enough for me. You’re my best friend and I chose to be with you.”

Tsukki feels his heart soar. He can’t help but smile too. 

“Okay.” The smile at each other. Tsukki considers leaning in again. He doesn’t think he can get enough of him now that’s he’s had a taste. He’s waited so long. 

“So...” 

“So, what?”

“So.. what about Ayumi?” 

“Oh. Well, I guess I can finally tell her we got together. We went on a few dates, but we just didn’t really click. That’s mostly my fault. Like I said, it’s always been you. It’s hard to love someone when your heart is already set on someone else. I couldn’t make it change its mind, as much as I tried. I think she realized this. We settled on being close friends. I think she’ll be happy for us.”

“I’m glad you didn’t change your mind.”

“Me too.”

“But then why were you guys holding hands and stuff?”

“Oh, that. I was just comforting her. She was having some issues with her family. That’s usually what I’m texting her about. She’s actually really funny. She’s very sarcastic about all of it, even though it sucks.” Tsukki wants to smack himself. He wasted so much time watching from afar and assuming things. Tsukki sighs.

“Right. Ugh, I’m sorry.” Yamaguchi giggles. 

“It’s okay. I’m just really happy right now.” 

“Me too.” 

Tsukki leans down to seal their lips together again. 

“I love you, Tadashi.” Yamaguchi hums in content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi omg! sorry, i took so long to update. it’s been a busy weekend and i had a hard time trying to write this. i realize the argument may have seemed a little awkward, but i tried my best. i hope i did them justice. please let me know what you think! i’m so happy they’re finally together after all this time. - daisy


	19. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars shine and light the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hi as suggested by my lovely reader, hinaep, the song that goes along with this chapter is What a Feeling by One Direction UwU.*
> 
> What a feeling to be right here beside you now  
> Holding you in my arms  
> When the air ran out and we both started running wild  
> The sky fell down  
> But you've got stars, they're in your eyes  
> And I've got something missing tonight  
> What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow  
> I wish I could be there now

For the most part, the interhigh tournament goes well this season. They lost to Shiratorizawa in the final, but the game was extremely close. They would have another chance to make it to nationals in their last spring interhigh. 

Karasuno is cooling down on the court. Kageyama is sitting with his legs spread in front of him and leaning forward to stretch them out. He feels sore and tired after five long sets. Looking back on the match, there were tosses that he regrets. He knows he could’ve gotten to the ball faster or at a better angle, but it’s too late to change anything now. The game is over. They didn’t lose without a fight though. Karasuno held their own against the powerhouse school. Goshiki has grown exponentially in the past two years. He’s no longer the wing spiker they faced during their first year. Ushijima would be proud. 

Yamaguchi lightly taps him on the shoulder and pulls him out of his thoughts. He leans over and whispers in Kageyama’s ear. 

“I think someone wants to speak to you,” Yamaguchi says and points a finger behind him. 

Kageyama turns his head to see a man with a clipboard in his hand and a lanyard with a badge around his neck. The man is staring directly at him and waves. Kageyama glances back at his team and turns back to the man. They’re all busy stretching and fail to notice the older man. 

Kageyama quickly stands and slips away from the group. He jogs up to him.

“Um.. hello, sir. My name is Kageyama Tobio. You wanted to speak to me?” Kageyama bows as he greets him. 

The man chuckles. 

“No need for introduction. I know who you are Kageyama. My name is Yoshida Kenji. I wanted to congratulate you on making it to the finals, as well as your impressive performance.” 

“Thank you, Yoshida-san. I appreciate it, but I couldn’t have done it without my team.” 

He chuckles again. 

“Yes, yes. You’re quite humble, that’s an admirable trait. Keep it up.” Kageyama nods and shifts his weight from side to side. He feels slightly nervous. He’s not entirely sure where the conversation is going. He stands there in silence for a few seconds. 

“Kageyama, have you put any thought intowhat your career will look like after high school?”

“Oh, um.. I would like to play professionallyin the future. I plan to attend university to join a college team and hopefully, get recruited. I haven’t figured out where I’m going to school yet though.”

“That’s great! You definitely have a future in the professional league if your performance in this match is anything to go by. Your skills and accuracy are remarkable. I would love to see how it will develop on an elite team. I’d dare to say you could even compete with the top setters in the country for a place on the national team.” Kageyama gapes at him. He’s received plenty of compliments on his setting skills in the past, but the reassurance that he could make it to the top feels exhilarating. 

“T-thank you, Yoshida-san. I really appreciate it.”

Yoshida claps him on the shoulder. 

“Of course. You mentioned that you were considering going to university. I realize your higher education may be important to you, but I wonder, have you ever considered going straight into professional volleyball such as the V.League? 

“I would definitely consider joining a V.League team in the future! I know most V.League players are recruited after college though.” 

“Well, that’s true for some people. However, there are a select few who have the talent and potential to secure a place in the League straight out of high school. I believe that you are one of them, Kageyama. I have an offer for you. I am a recruiter for the Schweiden Adlers. We’re a Division 1 professional team from Tokyo. I would like to offer a provisional contract to you for a spot on the team.”

Kageyama’s head is spinning. He feels overwhelmed, but also invigorated. The Adlers are one of the top V. League teams in the nation. They’ve won several Premier League and World Club championships. 

He knew that there were scouts at their matches and he’s received a few offers before, but this is the first offer he’s actually considered. He tries to collect his thoughts and recovers from his initial shock. 

“I’ll take the offer! When can I sign the contract? When will I be able to join the team?”

“Ah, hold on. While I appreciate your enthusiasm, it is still a provisional contract, which means the offer is tentative and depends on your performance going forward. I have no doubt that you’ll prove yourself though. Firstly, we’ll be watching you at nationals to ensure your abilities are adequate for the team. We’ll also be assessing how you will fit into the dynamics of the team. We want to see consistency and fluid teamwork, especially from our setters. Secondly, we would like you to complete high school. Depending on how you do, we will then determine if you’re ready to join. I see great things in your future, but we can discuss this more in detail later. Your team seems to be leaving. Here’s my business card.” Yashida pulls a small card out of his pocket and hands it to Kageyama. 

“Good luck, Kageyama. I’ll be contacting you soon. I hope you’ll seriously consider this opportunity.” Kageyama nods fervently. He feels the weight of expectations growing on his shoulders. He has to make it to nationals. He was always planning to go, but he knows more scouts will be watching him going forward. He also doesn’t want to let down his team or his upperclassmen. He feels as though everyone’s eyes are on him. The nervous energy increases a notch. He tries to push away the panic, but it still lingers inside.

“Thank you, Yoshida-san. I will,” Kageyama responds in a wavering voice and sticks out his hand. Kageyama can feel how clammy his hand is, but Yoshida gently grips his hand and shakes it. He gives him a warm smile. 

Kageyama smiles back and bows again before turning back to his team. He has a lot to think about. 

He jogs away and catches up to the team. Hinata instantly pops up at his side and starts jumping on his back. 

“Who was that, Kageyama-kun? What did he want?” Kageyama shrugs him off his back. 

“It was a scout. We just talked about college.” Kageyama isn’t sure why he lied. Maybe it’s because he’s not entirely ready to face the possibility of leaving Hinata behind yet. The thought has lingered in his mind before. He knows that he has to make decisions about his career soon, but he wishes he could just put it off a little longer. Kageyama almost wishes he could stay there, where they don’t have to worry about the future, and their biggest problem is making it to nationals or passing their next exam together. With Hinata by his side, high school has come and gone before he even realized it. Now the end of high school is quickly approaching, and the inevitable reality is setting in; the future is uncertain and their paths may diverge. He feels the crushing fear that their time together may be coming to an end. Hinata interrupts his thoughts. 

“Gwahhh! Really? What school is he from? Did he offer a scholarship? Are you gonna take it?” 

“Just some D1 team.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. 

“Wahhh! Is it Kyoto University? I was thinking of applying there for their team. I heard they have one of the best D1 teams in the country!” Kageyama knows this of course, considering Kyoto was one of his top choices until the Adlers, but he hasn’t actually received an offer yet either. 

“Um.. yeah. I’m going on ahead, so you better get in, dumbass.”

“Hmph, of course I will, dummy,” Hinata whines and sticks his tongue out. Kageyama just rolls his eyes in response. “Maybe I’ll get scouted next. I bet I will at spring interhigh or nationals. They’ll see my quick and be like ‘bwahh!,’ and then I’ll get even more offers than you.”

“Your quick?! It wouldn’t even be possible without me and as if, I’m definitely getting more offers.”

“Pftt, whatever. I won’t lose to you. I’m gonna get onto Kyoto’s team and kick your ass.”

“How’re you gonna kick my ass if we’re on the same team again?”

“I don’t know in receives or whatever!” Hinata says and throws his hands up in frustration. “Either way, I’ll crush you when we go pro together.”

“Yeah, sure..” Kageyama responds. He looks away from Hinata’s shining face. A feeling of dread crawls up his back. This can’t lead to anything good. 

* * *

Weeks pass without Kageyama speaking a word about the offer he received from the Adlers to his team or friends. Other than his parents, no one else knows about the temporary contract. Yoshida has contacted him about their continued interest in him and Kageyama can do nothing except prepare as much as he can for spring interhigh. 

The offer has been weighing heavily on his shoulders. He knows it’s an opportunity of a lifetime, but it’s just out of his reach. He feels like he’s being held back by a combination of things: his fear of being alone on a team again, leaving Hinata behind, and letting his spot slip through his hands if they fail to make it to nationals. Yoshida made it seem like playing at nationals was the bare minimum in his journey to the Adlers team. He said it as if it was a trivial task that Kageyama had already completed. Yet, Kageyama knows that it’s never that simple. There are too many variables to guarantee he’ll even make it that far. For the first time in a while, he begins to doubt his abilities. 

The stress is becoming overwhelming. He can’t tell Hinata about it because he lied. He regrets not telling him. He can’t tell Yamaguchi either because he’ll probably tell Hinata. They’re also not close enough for that anyway. Yamaguchi is a great friend, but it feels like they’re not as close as they could be. The only other person left is Tsukki. He’s definitely going to harp on him for acting like this, but at this point, he doesn’t give a shit. Kageyama cracks and decides to text him. 

‘Tsukki.’

‘What.’

‘I have an issue.’

‘Don’t tell me this is another ridiculous dream.’ Kageyama scoffs as he types back. 

‘It’s not and my dream wasn’t ridiculous.’

‘Uh huh. So what is it?’

‘Can u meet me at the park?’

‘Ur gonna drag me out of my house at this god forsaken hour on a _Saturday_?’ 

‘Yea. It’s not like you have anything better to do. Are you coming or not?’

‘I fucking guess so. I’m only coming bc I have something to say anyway.’

‘Okay.. meet you in ten ig.’ 

Kageyama slips on his running shoes and shoves his phone in his shorts. 

His parents are already asleep, so he takes extra care to avoid the creaky floor boards. He tip toes to the sliding door and slips out of the back of the house. He shuts it behind him. 

The summer night air is comforting. It’s a reprieve from the stifling humidity of the day. Kageyama lightly jogs towards the park near his house. In the past few years, he’s learned that Tsukki actually lives quite close to him. They’ve only met up there a handful of times. It’s nice to have someone who supports you through all the turmoil and without the pressure of confusing feelings. Of course, Hinata is his closest friend, but Tsukki isn’t far behind either. With Hinata, things are confusing and stressful when combined with everything else going on in his life. His emotions get all jumbled up and he doesn’t know how to feel about the small boy. 

Tsukki is still an asshole most of the time, but Kageyama has grown accustomed to it. He’s almost fond of his friends sharp quips and annoyed facade. It keeps him in check. He can also relate to him in a way. 

Underneath it all, Tsukki is just another human with flaws and insecurities. He covers it up with brash words and a cold demeanor, but his capacity to care for the people he loves is endless. He might not always show it, but brewing beneath his facade lies someone who deeply feels things too. He analyzes people and holds back his feelings in order to help people without bias getting in the way. Kageyama has seen this on the court, but also in his personal life as well. Tsukki has gone out of his way to help him deal with his emotions and issues even when he doesn’t have to.

He’s the honest friend that tells him as it is, but he does it out of concern. He tells Kageyama when he’s being an asshole or acting stupid, even if he doesn’t always listen. Tsukki has become the person that he turns to when he just needs someone to listen, no matter how obscure the topic may be. Even if Tsukki acts like he hates it, he has never denied Kageyama from venting his feelings or looked at him differently because of it. 

When he gets to the park, he sits on the edge of a merry go round and swings his legs. Tsukki isn’t here yet. He wonders what Tsukki could possibly want to tell him. 

Tsukki finally shows up a few minutes later with his hands shoved in his pockets. He has a smirk on his face and raises his eyebrow when he spots Kageyama. 

“Hey, king.” 

“Hey, asshole.” Kageyama rolls his eyes but scoots over to make space for him to sit down. Tsukki takes the spot beside him. 

“So, what’s got you riled up enough to come to me for help?”

“What else?”

“Right. So, what did he do? Did he finally kiss you or some shit?” Kageyama is surprised he thinks Hinata was the one who did anything and not him. 

“What? Of course not. He didn’t do anything this time. It’s.. actually my fault.” Tsukki raises his eyebrows again. 

“Oh lord. What is it?” They’re silent for a second and it feels tense.

“I got scouted,” Kageyama finally spits out. 

“And that’s a bad thing?” 

“Not necessarily. It’s a team in Tokyo.”

“I’m still not seeing why this is a bad thing.” Kageyama sighs.

“It’s a V. League team. The Schweiden Adlers to be exact. They want me to join after high school and go pro.”

“Anddd?”

“And I lied to Hinata about it. He keeps saying he wants to join a college team like Waseda or Kyoto, but he hasn’t gotten any offers yet. He wants me to join with him, so we can go pro together. Now I have this offer, and I don’t know if I can turn it down. My parents would never let me and it’s the Adlers for gods sake. They’re practically the top premier team.” Another second of silence passes.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why’d you lie?” Kageyama groans in response.

“Because I’m scared to leave him behind. We’re supposed to be partners and stick by each other’s sides. I.. I just don’t know if I’m ready to do it without him.”

“Seriously? Don’t you think you’re underestimating him just a little bit? Hinata is more dedicated to this than anyone else that I know, other than you maybe. If you’re actually partners like you say you are, don’t you think he should know what you’re planning to do? He’ll be so proud of you even if he isn’t there with you. He’ll find a way to stand by your side eventually. You’re acting like you can’t see him again if you go to Tokyo. Plus, I thought you were rivals who wanted to beat each other. You can’t do that on the same team and if you wanna win, shouldn’t you take this chance to move ahead?”

“I guess. I just don’t want to lose him. He has so many other friends and I only have him.” Tsukki glares at him at that comment. “And you and Yamaguchi, of course. You know what I mean. It’s just hard to imagine my life or volleyball without him.”

“So, just tell him. Hiding it from him is only going to hurt your relationship or friendship or whatever this is more than it’s going to help it.”

“Well, the contract isn’t definite though. I don’t want to tell him and crush our future together if it’s not guaranteed yet.”

“What do you mean? I thought they gave you an offer?”

“They did, it’s just tentative though. They said they want to assess my skills further at nationals. The scout, Yoshida, said that they’ll be watching to see if I’m a good fit for the team. He also said he thinks I’m qualified, but they just want to be sure. If I do well, then they’ll solidify the contract and I’ll have a spot on the team. Until then, I have to wait for their decision.”

“And what? You’re scared we won’t make it to nationals?”

“Well, yeah. Yoshida said it as if that was a baseline requirement. With the way Shiratorizawa is playing this year, who knows if we’ll make it in. We’re not guaranteed to win. If we don’t get in, I’m not sure how my deal will turn out and I hate it. Everything is up in the air and I hate lying to Hinata. He’s so excited for us to go to college together and I’m not even worried about that.”

“Kageyama. I’ve never known you as a person to shy away from a challenge. Yes, our match with Shiratorizawa is going to be tough, but we’ve beaten them before. If things go wrong somehow and we don’t make it to nationals, which we will, then that’s a bridge you’ll cross when you get to it. If they’re this interested in you already, I doubt they’ll turn you down by losing one match. We’ll go as far as we can and hope for the best. You can’t win on your own. We win as a team and making it to nationals is out of your hands. All you can do is work as hard as you can and see how things turn out. Being stressed about it isn’t going to win you any points or help your performance. Look how you choked under pressure against Oikawa.”

“Oi! That was two years ago. I’m not that person anymore.”

“Exactly, so stop getting yourself so damn worked up. I hate to fucking admit it, but you’re one of the best setters in our division, but that should be obvious. Look at the team trying to recruit you.” Tsukki is avoiding eye contact, but his words are genuine.

“T-thanks, Tsukki.”

“You’re welcome, but you need to get your shit together. Just tell Hinata.”

“I already told you I can’t because I don’t know if the deal is definite yet. I could still end up going for a college team. I’ll tell him at some point.” 

“Yeah, well it better be sooner rather than later. Waiting never turns out well.” Tsukki sounds like he’s speaking from experience, but Kageyama is stubborn. He still wants to wait until things are less ambiguous.

“I will. Eventually.” Tsukki frowns, but nods. 

“But even if I go to college, what if Hinata doesn’t get an offer for the same team? He hasn’t been scouted yet. I’m worried he’ll be by himself.”

“Holy shit. I already told you that some things are just out of your hands. I get that you want to stay by each other’s sides because you’re invincible together or whatever blah blah, but you need to trust Hinata. Believe in him like you do on the court. He’s strong. He’ll figure it out and you’ll come back to each other even if it’s not in college.” Kageyama sighs and nods.

“You’re right, sorry.”

“I can’t believe you’re apologizing to me of all people.”

“Tch. Shut up.” Kageyama says and smacks his arm. Tsukki just shrugs. Kageyama feels slightly better. He’s glad he came to the park and overall, he’s glad he has Tsukki. They sit in silence except for the cicadas chirping loudly in the background. Kageyama swings his legs back and forth. A thought hits him.

“What did you have to tell me by the way?” Tsukki flushes for a second before he lets a long breath out. 

“It’s about Yamaguchi.” 

“Oh shit. Did he finally get together with Ayumi-kun?” 

“No, they didn’t finally get together. Also, don’t call her that like you’re friends. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So, what’s up then?”

“We.. uh.. we got together actually.” Kageyama jumps in surprise and punches Tsukki in the shoulder out of reflex. 

“Ow!”

“You’re bullshitting me!”

“No, I’m not bullshitting you!” Tsukki punches him back in the shoulder. Kageyama pouts and rubs the spot. 

“How’d that happen? Did you finally grow some balls?”

“Says the one who won’t tell Hinata about going pro. Don’t say it like you have any.” Kageyama glares at him, but gives him another look to continue. Tsukki sighs. “Yeah, I finally grew some balls. We got into a fight about Sato and I admitted my feelings.”

“Of course you got into a fight with Yamaguchi of all people. I didn’t even know he could get angry.”

“He _definitely_ can. He was furious with me for waiting so long to say something, especially after the kiss. He yelled at me and basically said I was a coward.”

“You are.” 

“Watch it,” Tsukki hisses. Kageyama snickers and puts his hands up in surrender. “He said I don’t get to choose who he gets to be with after all the shit I put him through, which was fair. He also wanted me to tell him I didn’t want him, so he could move on. I couldn’t even open my mouth and he was about to leave. I was so scared. I spilled my guts on the spot and apologized. I was just lucky they didn’t get together. Turns out, they just wanted to be friends. So, we agreed we liked each other and now we’re here.”

“So, you’re dating?” Tsukki blushes again. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Kageyama just nods.

“I’m happy for you. You deserve each other.” Tsukki’s face turns a darker shade of red somehow. 

“Yeah, well, it’s your turn. Like I said, waiting only ever turns out bad. Take it from me.”

“We’re not like that. Hinata doesn’t even like me back. I’m not his type, plus he likes girls.”

“How would you know? I thought the same thing about Yamaguchi. I swear he likes you, no bullshit. I’m not even trying to be mean this time.”

“Thanks, but I just know. Even if he does, which he doesn’t, it’s not a good time right now. I still haven’t told him about everything and we have nationals to worry about.”

“It’s never going to be a good time with the careers you want to pursue.” Kageyama hums. 

“I’ll get around to it. I don’t even know how I feel about him.”

“Yes, you do. Everyone knows you’re in love with him.”

“No, I’m not.” 

“Whatever.” 

“It’s not like you won’t be here when I figure it out anyway.”

“I guess, it’s not like I have a choice either way. You guys are so loud and obvious.” 

“Shut up. There’s no need to make this more complicated than it needs to be. We’re friends and partners. That’s it.” Tsukki rolls his eyes.

“Fine, keep lying to yourself. By the way, do you like girls?” Kageyama chokes and sputters. 

“I-I don’t know. I don’t have time for stuff like that.”

“Sure, you don’t,” Tsukki says and rolls his eyes for the millionth time. More silence passes. 

“So, do you like girls?” Kageyama asks in return. 

“Don’t think so.” 

“Oh, okay,” Kageyama finally responds. 

“It’s getting late, we should head home.” 

“Yeah.” Kageyama nods as he stands. He awkwardly puts his fist up. Tsukki gives him a small smile and bumps his fist. The two boys split up and walk off in different directions. 

* * *

When he gets back to his house, he quietly sneaks back upstairs and settles into his bed. It was already past midnight. He was in the midst of drifting off to sleep when his phone buzzes. At first, he thinks it’s Tsukki telling him to fess up to Hinata. It’s turns out to be the very same person he’s been worrying about so much. 

‘Kageyama!!’

‘What.’

‘R u awake?’

‘Obviously, idiot. I’m texting u rn.’

‘Oh, yeah. Wyd?’

‘Trying to sleep until u interrupted me.’

‘Meanie. Well, get up.’ Kageyama stares at his phone in confusion.

‘What?’

‘U heard me. Get up. We’re going out.’

‘Out? No, we’re not. It’s almost 1am.’ 

‘Yeah, we r. Look out ur window.’ 

‘Ur fucking shitting me.’

‘Nopeee.’ Kageyama throws his sheets off of him and stumbles out of bed. This has to be a joke. There’s no way Hinata is at his house at this hour, uninvited at that. 

Kageyama walks over to the window and peers outside. It’s hard to see anything at first, but then his eyes adjust and he catches sight of a red head of hair. Kageyama groans to himself. He’s already tired from his late night outing with Tsukishima. Why the fuck is he here? 

Kageyama curses himself. He feels like he magically manifested the tiny nuisance from thinking about him too much. Maybe Tsukki was right about getting himself  too worked up about him. 

Kageyama glares out the window at him before turning away even though Hinata probably couldn’t see it in the dark. He quietly slips on his sneakers again and walks downstairs. He escapes through the back door and walks around the house to meet Hinata. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, dumbass?” Hinata jumps at the sudden sound and puts his hands up, as if he’s about to fight. 

“I told you, we’re going out.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Going out where? It’s 1am. There’s nothing open right now.”

“Who says we’re going somewhere with business hours? Just come on.” 

“No, it’s late. Go home and go to sleep you moron.” Kageyama tries to stand his ground. Hinata frowns and crosses his arms. 

“Just come with me please. I have something to show you.” Kageyama doesn’t respond and just stands there. He thought he finally won the argument when Hinata turns and starts walking away. “Are you coming or what?” Hinata glances over his shoulder. 

Kageyama sighs and grudgingly follows him. He’s not sure why he agrees to go. They walk in silence. 

“Why’re we doing this? Where are we going?”

“Not telling you. Its a surprise. Also, it’s because you’ve seemed distracted or stressed out or something. I don’t know. You’ve just seemed off and I thought you needed some fun. Maybe it’s about nationals or something, I’m not sure. Either way, you don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but I’m always here for you. You know that. You can tell me anything, Kageyama.” 

Kageyama shivers. He likes to think that it’s because of the light chill from the night air, but he’s not so sure. This. He realizes, this is why he follows Hinata. Hinata knows him better than almost anyone in his life. He’s always able to read when somethings wrong. Kageyama would follow Hinata anywhere if he truly asked and that scares him. It’s the reason he doesn’t want to lose him. They need each other.

“Yeah, I know.”

They walk for another twenty minutes before Hinata comes to a stop in front of a small school. Kageyama looks between Hinata and the building. Hinata glances at him out of the corner of his eye. 

“What the fuck are we doing at a school?” 

“It’s not just any school, Kageyama! It’s my middle school!” 

“Will you please pipe down it’s late at night and that doesn’t explain why you brought me hear, idiot.”

“You’ll see. Just wait, dummy. Follow my lead.” Hinata steps away from the locked front gate and starts walking towards the side of the school. Kageyama follows the shorter boy until they reach a fence. Hinata begins clambering up the wire fence and practically throws himself over. 

“Boke! Hinata boke! Be careful! What the fuck, you’re gonna get yourself killed before our next match.”

“Now who’s being loud! It’s fine. I’ve done this before with my friends in middle school, you know the ones you played in our first match.” 

“Uhh..”

“Of course you don’t remember. Just climb over.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Why? Because you can’t, scaredy-yama?” 

“I can climb a fucking fence.” Before he realizes what he’s doing, his hands are gripping onto the wire as he slots the tip of his foot into the fence for leverage. He starts climbing his way up and wobbles at the top of the fence. What the fuck is he doing up here? Hinata totally just egged him on. Leave it to him to peer pressure him into breaking into a god damn middle school at 2 am. 

Kageyama begins to panic. He doesn’t know how to get down from this fucking fence. He tries to adjust himself at the top to climb down the other side, but his foot slips and sends him flying face first towards the ground with a yelp. He lays in the grass and groans in pain. Hinata can’t even hold back from laughing at this point and starts cackling on the ground next to him. He’s laughing so hard he starts wheezing and clutching his stomach. 

“Y-you.. should’ve.. s-seen your.. face,” Hinata forces out with tears in his eyes. “Oh my god, that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. You looked like a fish flailing through the air.” Hinata starts wheezing again. 

Kageyama continues groaning on the ground. His right shoulder aches and his nose is probably bleeding. He rolls onto his back and let’s out a labored breath while rubbing at his shoulder. It feels like the wind was knocked out of him and hopes the pain shooting down his arm will go away. 

He jumps at Hinata and starts punching him in the chest with his good arm. Hinata wails and shoves his hand in front of his body to try to deflect the blows. 

“Gah! Stop hitting me, bakayama! It’s not my fault you fell off the fence like an idiot!”

“Shut up! You dragged me here.” Kageyama stops pummeling him and rolls back over to regain his breath. Hinata sits up and starts laughing at him again once he sees him curled up on the ground. 

“C’mon it couldn’t have hurt that bad. Let’s go!” Hinata jumps up and holds his hand out to help him up. Kageyama let’s out a tiny whine and grabs his hand. He gets up, but for a second, he doesn’t release Hinata’s hand. He stares down at them, slotted together and memorizes the warmth. Hinata finally pulls his hand away. 

“U-um, let’s go!” Kageyama follows him again. They reach a short ladder attached to the side of the building and Hinata begins climbing up. Kageyama does his best to follow with his shoulder sending shockwaves through his body. He’s come this far, he’s not giving up now. He grits his teeth and hauls himself up. 

They reach the rooftop and he collapses on the ground a few feet away from the ladder. Hinata plops down next to him.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine, or as good as I can be considering I just fell ten feet.” Hinata snickers and lays down beside him. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Kageyama says even though he can feel pain throbbing up his arm. “So, this is what we came here for? To see the grimy roof of your middle school?”

“No, dummy. We came here to look at the stars from the roof.” 

“We couldn’t have done that in my backyard?” 

“No because there are too many lights around there, can’t see them as well. Plus, I wanted to show you where I used to hang out with my friends.”

“Hmm,” Kageyama responds. 

“Isn’t it nice? The stars are so bright here.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Kageyama says as he keeps his eyes locked towards the sky. The stars are quite pretty tonight. He never really takes the time to look at them.It makes him think back to the night under the stars, before their first nationals. He was standing outside with Hinata as they looked up into the infinite night sky. He felt hope then. The stress and confusion didn’t feel so suffocating back then. He remembers that night vividly, when they declared they were going to win because they were invincible. They stood as partners, before all of the mixed feelings and light touches. It feels like so long ago. 

He spots a shooting star flying across the sky. He thinks he may be imagining it, but shuts his eyes to make a wish anyway. He stupidly wishes for more moments like this. He doesn’t wish for victory or success. He simply wants whatever this is. He wants it endlessly and unconditionally. He may act like he doesn’t want to be there, but in these moments, he feels alive. He feels safe and free from the stress of the world. He keeps his eyes shut and drifts in the calmness for a while. 

They laid next to each other for a long time. He has no idea how long they were there. He wonders if Hinata fell asleep because it was so quiet. When he looks over, Hinata is already looking at him. Their faces are impossibly close. He can almost feel Hinata’s hair tickling his forehead. If he leaned in just a bit, their noses would touch. He stares into his golden brown eyes and feels a shiver rack his body. He wishes he brought a jacket. 

He feels his head lean forward unconsciously and Hinata feels just within reach. His eyes are ablaze and the intensity makes him shudder. Hinata’s lips are parted. Kageyama can feel his short breaths fanning across his face. They look so soft and pink. His tongue darts out and licks at them. Kageyama feels his heart rate begin to pick up as he licks his own lips subconsciously. 

“Hina-“ Kageyama begins to say, but is cut off by a loud door slamming. It sounded like a car door. 

“Hello? Is anyone here? This is security! Come out!” 

Kageyama and Hinata jump apart. He stares at Hinata in shock. His heart rate is thundering in his chest. He can’t tell if it’s from how close they were just now or the sudden panic that has overcome him. Hinata puts a finger in front of his lips. He points towards the ladder and jerks his head at it. Kageyama quickly shifts his body and starts to climb down. He feels a sharp pain lance through his arm. He winces but continues descending the ladder. The adrenaline urges him on. He lightly jumps off at the bottom and Hinata’s not far behind. He tries not to stare at the butt in his face. Now is not the time. 

Kageyama takes a step back for Hinata to hop down. They press their bodies against the wall as they hear footsteps on the other side of the building. They see the ray of a flashlight move towards the fence. Kageyama is breathing quickly and feels panic mounting inside him. Hinata seems like he’s in a similar state. He tries to quiet his breathing and they press their bodies further into the wall next to each other. The flashlight scans across the fence and then back. They hear more footsteps and rustling before they fade away. 

Kageyama hears the front door of the school open and then shut. Hinata takes a chance and sprints towards the fence. Kageyama is on his tail and runs after him. They both scramble up to the fence and start climbing as fast as they can, causing the fence to shudder and creak as they moved. It shook back and forth. Loud metallic sounds could be heard as they clawed their way up. 

They were almost at the top when they heard the front door slam open. They both whip their head around to see the flashlight shining on the other side of the school. Kageyama began climbing faster and drops off the other side of the fence. He lands on his feet this time. Hinata climbs over the top as well, but when he tries to jump off, he fell at a weird angle. Kageyama jumps forward and catches him with both arms to prevent him falling. He had him in a tight grip and held his body against his. Kageyama quickly recovers and releases his legs. Hinata lets his feet fall to the ground. His arms were still firmly wrapped around Kageyama’s upper body. They stood stunned for a second before they heard a voice interrupt them.

“Oi! You kids! What’re you doing here?! This is trespassing!”

They both jump, Hinata releasing his grip, and turn their heads. They’re momentarily  blinded by the flashlight shining directly in their eyes. Kageyama breaks off into a sprint and grabs Hinata’s hand as he goes. He drags Hinata behind him as he trips and runs. They kept running as the mans voice yelled after them. Kageyama runs with Hinata’s hand laced together with his. He runs until his legs hurt and his chest aches from exertion. He eventually slows down and collapses on the ground. They’re in a random neighborhood on someone’s front yard lawn. He doesn’t even care at this point. He’s just glad to be away from all of that. His entire body hurts, especially his shoulder . He feels like he exerted all of his energy in an effort to get away. 

Kageyama desperately drags in breaths of air until his heart calms down. Hinata suddenly begins laughing beside him. He’s quiet, but his body is shaking from his laughter. Kageyama looks at him in disbelief and shoves his shoulder. 

“I can’t believe we just did that!” Hinata says between chuckles. 

“Yeah, neither can I! You almost got us in so much trouble. Did you plan for this to happen?” Hinata begins laughing even harder.

“Of course not, baka! We’ve never gotten caught before, but that was so fun though.” Hinata continues laughing and Kageyama watches as tears of mirth roll down his face. He feels a laugh escape from his mouth. The situation was so absurd, he couldn’t help it. He laughs uncontrollably as Hinata’s giggles mix with his own. They’re rolling around on the grass clutching their stomachs in peels of laughter. He can’t believe he ended up breaking into a middle school with Hinata and almost got caught trying to look at the stars. Now they’re laying in someone’s yard laughing like maniacs at god knows what hour. It could be 5 am and he wouldn’t know any better. The sun could rise at any second. He laughs again. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. 

He stares up at the sky as the last few giggles escape his mouth. The stars definitely don’t look as nice here. The neighborhood street lights block out how bright they are. He glances over to ask Hinata if he feels the same way. His heart stills, all he can see is the smile that’s plastered across his face as he stares up at the sky. It’s bright enough to bring him to his knees. That smile could outshine every light in the sky, and he shines just for him. Kageyama would give anything to see it again, even if it meant giving up the stars themselves. 

In that moment, he feels the all too familiar flutter that spreads through him from the inside out. A realization hits him and it knocks the wind out of him all over again.

After all this time, his feelings have finally come together and presented him with a single truth that combusts inside him with the fury of a burning sun.

He is so devastatingly in love with this boy. He’s in love with his smile, his laughter, his presence, his being; despite all of the mixed up emotions of anxiety, fear, and doubt, he loves Hinata. 

Suddenly, brief touches and soft words are not enough. It was never enough. In that moment, nothing else matters but this warm light. He faces it head on. Tsukki was right. 

Kageyama is undeniably in love with his best friend, his teammate, his partner. Shoyo.

In that moment, his heart breaks free from the cage he’s locked away for so long. It flutters through his body and leaves him with one feeling. Love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i hope everyone had a safe holiday. i’m sorry u haven’t updated in a few days. it’s been hectic with family and friends. i also wanted to make sure this chapter was done right. i’ve been building up to it for so long and i hope i did it justice. please leave me your thoughts. my heart is so full right now. - daisy


	20. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To love and to lose.

With each day that passes, it feels like their time, and the string that attaches them, grows shorter. It tightens and strains, as they both pull at it anxiously. Unbidden words hang in the air. Kageyama refuses to utter them. 

While his revelation was a relief, it still left him feeling restless. He feels confused and agitated. Love, what does that mean for them? Does it have to mean anything? 

Sure, he’s in love with Hinata, but does he feel the same way? What if he doesn’t? Should he tell him anyway? What if Hinata doesn’t even like guys? Will he think he’s gross? What if Hinata tells everyone? What if it ruins their friendship? What if he accidentally let’s it slip? 

But what if he does feel the same way? Will they start dating? Does he have enough time to date anyone? Is he even ready to date someone? Is he supposed to take care of Hinata? He doesn’t even know how to take care of himself. What if he tells him and then he has to leave for the Adlers anyway? What if Hinata gets sick of him and realizes he’s not good enough? What if-

“Tobio, honey, are you awake? You’re gonna be late if you don’t get up.” His mom says and cracks open the door to peak in. 

“Uh, yeah. I’m getting up,” Kageyama responds, lost in thought. His mom nods her head and quietly shuts the door. 

He’s been laying in bed since he woke up twenty minutes ago. It’s been a few weeks since he finally admitted his feelings to himself. It all made sense. The sudden urges, the need to be around Hinata, and the butterflies that kick in his stomach only pointed to one thing. He’s not exactly an expert in crushes, but he’s seen enough of him mom’s soap operas to know what it means. 

He has feelings for Hinata. There’s no way they’re platonic either. He’s not sure what to do with himself though. He can’t imagine planning out dates or saying romantic things. Even worse, he can’t imagine himself kissing someone or going further. He shivers at the thought. 

He’s dreamt about it before, but it’s not like he would actually knows what he’s doing. He hasn’t even had his first kiss yet. 

Kageyama frowns at the thought. He’s curious about what it could feel like, but the opportunity hasn’t really come up. He’s been too busy to actually pursue anyone to even  reach that stage. All he has time for is school, volleyball, and Hinata, with the occasional Tsukki and Yamaguchi hangout.

Regardless, he’s too afraid to do anything about his feelings. He wouldn’t know where to begin. He hasn’t even admitted he’s in love with Hinata out loud, how can he say it to his face? He can only imagine how horrified he’d look. 

Kageyama scoffs. No one wants to be with someone like him; he’s snarky and prideful, and especially after he lied to him. He’d never have a chance with Hinata. His heart can’t help but wish though. Deep down, there’s a small flicker of hope that one day, Hinata will give him that smile again, pull him close and whisper those words to him. Maybe he’ll utter his name in a hushed tone and brush his hair out of his face with those small hands. He’ll look at him with misty eyes and seal their lips in a kiss that would finally make him feel whole. A simple kiss to reassure him that he’s not unlovable or alone. He wonders what it would be like to feel needed.

He can only dream of it. 

He wishes he could rip that part of him out, the tiny piece that cries out for validation and love. He knows it’ll never happen though and it tears him apart.

Kageyama feels his eyes sting and his chest clench. He’s so sick of feeling stuck like he’s in a perpetual state of not being enough. Not good enough for the Adlers. Not good enough for nationals. Not good enough for his parents. Not good enough for Hinata. 

Kageyama is exhausted. If there was a way to disappear from the pressure of the future and everyone’s expectations, he would take it. In a world where he’s free from his suffering, he would choose to hide away with Hinata in one of their beds without the pressure of feelings and the inevitable heartbreak to come.

He sniffles. He didn’t realize he started crying and roughly wipes his nose with his sleeve. He sits up in his bed to get ready for the day. 

* * *

By their third year, Kageyama has garnered a lot of attention from girls in their high school and others. He has quite a large following as one of the top setters in the country. He’s definitely a fan favorite and he’s not far behind Oikawa in regard to fan clubs at this point. Like senpai like kouhai. 

He’s received several confessions already, and its only been a few weeks since their last term began. They only had one semester left before they graduated and girls were clambering to to make the most out of that time. They showed up at matches, practice, lunch, and the club room. If Kageyama was there, girls were never far behind. 

Hinata can obviously see why. Kageyama has grown even taller somehow, much to his disdain, as well as broader. His shoulders are filled out with thick muscle and his arms are a wet dream come true. They’re toned and topped off by beautiful hands. Hinata shudders thinking about them. They’re obscenely large and elegant. He has long and nimble fingers, as well as veins that pop from his skin. He’s lost count of the amount of times he’s imagined those hands on him. 

Then there’s his face. He  imagines his piercing blue eyes and the sharp slant of his jawline. He also has striking  cheekbones and pouty lips. Hinata wishes he could  smother them. 

Add to the fact that he’s insanely talented. Kageyama is ambitious and anyone can see why. He holds the potential to go onto great things and reach the pinnacle of his craft. His focus and drive sends shivers up his back. 

At the same time though, he’s not sure why so many girls are so obsessed with him when they don’t truly know him. They don’t understand how skilled he actually is like Hinata does.

They don’t see the side of him lurking under the brooding stares and arrogance. They’ve never seen him when he’s vulnerable or caring. 

His heart flutters every time he sees Kageyama play with Natsu. He’s always endearingly gentle and awkward. He watches Kageyama speak in a hushed tone and pat Natsu’s head. He allows her to cuddle up close and somehow, he can never say no to her.

His favorite memory of them is when she forced him to braid her hair. He fumbled with the short hair in his long fingers and messily twisted together the pieces. She sat with a content smile on her face and leaned  back in his lap. She looked so tiny against his large frame. 

It’s strangely comforting the way Kageyama is able to generate a feeling of safety and reassurance in a way that no one else can. At first, he noticed it on the court with their quicks. For whatever reason, he just knew he could trust Kageyama even with his eyes shut. Ever since then, his trust hasn’t wavered. The secure feeling has weaseled its way onto the team and in Natsu. 

Hinata feels like that’s who Kageyama actually is, someone who’s caring and protective of the people he opens up to. He’s reserved and soft, and yet, he’s so confident and strong. He’s seen parts of him no one else has like the way his face scrunches up when he’s stuck in an awkward situation and he doesn’t know what to do.

Kageyama also curls into a ball when he sleeps and clings onto anything in his vicinity. He’ll grab onto pillows, sweatshirts, even volleyballs and pull them tight to his chest. It’s quite funny to look at such a tall boy scrunched up in that position. It’s different when he’s on the receiving end of his sleep induced grip though. It makes him feel lightheaded. The feeling of Kageyama’s body pressed against his back never ceases to make him feel like he’s spiraling out of control. He can barely contain the urge to roll over and snuggle his face into the broad chest he’s stared at so many times. He wants to wrap himself around him and press himself close. He wants to inhale the musky scent of Kageyama’s deodorant and the smell of linen that clings to him. 

He knows he can’t though. He thinks that if he ever indulged in the urge, he might end up nuzzling his head against his chest and purring like a fucking cat. Nekoma would be proud. 

Hinata is glad he’s the only one who gets to see Kageyama in this state. It’s not fair that girls act like they know him. Hinata feels like they’re going to steal him away. 

Of course, Kageyama is always grumpy and never entertains any of them, but Hinata can’t push the paranoia away. He’s afraid that one day, a girl will finally catch Kageyama’s eye. He’s never really talked about his interest in anyone, but Hinata knows he’s just a private guy. Even so, he pathetically hopes it’s because of him. He’s holding onto the sliver of hope that maybe he hasn’t been accepting any confessions because he actually has feelings for him. His heart sings at the thought. 

Sometimes he’ll catch Kageyama staring at him out of the corner of his eye when he thinks Hinata isn’t looking. He pretends not to notice and allows himself to enjoy the attention. It makes him feel selfish. He doesn’t want Kageyama to look at anyone else like that and he wants to enjoy it while he still can. 

He’s not stupid. Hinata realizes that they may get separated after high school, as much as he hopes it isn’t true. 

He’ll be forced to stop touching Kageyama’s hands and brushing the soft black bangs out of his face when he’s sleeping. Their late nights and trips to the cafe will have to come to an end too, but he’s not ready for it to stop. 

For the past three years, Kageyama has been by his side through everything. Hinata has been the one to push Kageyama forward to come out of his shell. Kageyama is his friend and his partner. He doesn’t want some girl coming in the middle of them when they only have a little bit of time left together. 

Hinata grumbles to himself as he eats his lunch. Kageyama and Tsukki never showed up.

“Just tell him.” Yamaguchi sighs as he rubs a hand down his face. They’ve had this conversation a dozen times by now. It always ends the same way. Hinata complaining about his feelings for Kageyama, Yamaguchi scolding him for acting stupid, Hinata coming up with an excuse, yet again, and never confessing. He can’t help how he feels, especially when he’s felt like this for years. His feelings have only grown stronger over time. 

It feels bitterly ironic. He’s sickeningly in love with Kageyama, the boy who’s supposed to be his rival turned partner and best friend. How could he not though? No one has ever fit into his life so seamlessly.

“I can’t. Kageyama hates stuff like this and I’m not even his type. I’m just gonna get my heart crushed for no reason and ruin our friendship. God, I can’t even imagine how awkward it would be,” Hinata says with a frown. His shoulders slump.

“Hinata, seriously? It doesn’t matter what you think his type is. Let’s say he does have a type, then why hasn’t he taken a chance with a girl that fits his preferences already? All sorts of girls have thrown themselves at him and he’s never even batted an eye at them. Why do you think that is? It’s probably because he has feelings for you and he’s waiting for something to happen.”

“How would you know that? If he had feelings for me, why hasn’t he done anything about it?”

“Oh my goddd. Hinata, just think about it. If he has feelings for you, which he does, he’s probably in the same boat as you. Kageyama is a timid guy, he’s most likely just as scared as you are about admitting his feelings. He’s practically a tsundere. He doesn’t know how to express anything other than being angsty and grumpy.”

“But how do you know he has feelings for me?” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes. 

“Because he doesn’t act like that towards you. It only takes a few minutes with both of you to see how much he fawns over you. He’s all doe eyed and mushy feelings. He practically chases after you everywhere and never lets anyone else get near you. Don’t you remember the tantrum he threw when Yachi started showing up for things. Plus, normal friends don’t hold hands while making out in bed and run off into the night together.”

“We don’t make out in bed,” Hinata responds with a pout.

“I bet you wish you did though.” Yamaguchi raises his eyebrows. 

Hinata makes a noise of disgust. “Nuh uh.”

“Yeah huh.”

“Meh.” 

“Uh huh. You’re making my point. The fact that you guys even sleep in the same bed when you have separate ones is already sus.” 

“I get cold, okay? It’s just warmer sharing a bed.”

“Hinata.”

“What?” Hinata crosses his arms in defense.

“Stop making excuses and just confess. We don’t have much time left and you have no idea where either of you are going to end up. Don’t leave high school with regrets. Do you really want to think back with questions like what if he felt the same way? What if I admitted it to him and we could’ve been dating this entire time? What if I let the person I love slip away? Those what if’s will haunt you. I never thought Tsukki would feel the same way about me and honestly, he was much more confusing. There’s nothing to be confused about here. It’s so clear that you care about each other, and if he doesn’t accept that, that’s on him. He’s the one missing out.”

Hinata sits in silence for a few seconds mulling over his words. He gives Yamaguchi a small smile.

“I just don’t want to lose him.”

“You won’t. You’re his closest friend. I doubt he’d ever give you up.” Hinata realizes he’s right. It makes sense. If it doesn’t work out, they can just go back to being friends and at least he can say he tried. 

“What do I do then?”

“Just tell him what you tell me. You know, like about being with him and making out and stuff.”

“Eww. I do not want to make out with that idiot.” 

“You totally do.” 

“Whatever.” Hinata sits in silence for the rest of lunch. When the bell rings he collects his stuff and begins walking back towards the school. Yamaguchi grabs his hand before he can leave. 

“Hinata. I’m serious. I think you should do it before things get hectic with spring interhigh. We only have a week left. I genuinely believe things will work out and if they don’t, I’ll be here for you. I promise,” Yamaguchi says with an encouraging smile. 

Hinata looks down at ground for a few seconds. Yamaguchi is right. He lets out a deep breath and looks him in the eyes. 

“Okay. I will after practice.” He looks at him with determination burning in his eyes. Yamaguchi nods at him. They turn to walk back towards the school. 

* * *

The day slowly crawls by. Each minute feels torturous. He can barely focus on the words coming from the teacher’s mouth. His mind is filled with all the ways he can confess to Kageyama. Hinata feels nervous, but he’s finally ready. He knows he can’t hide his feelings for much longer. He steadies himself. He has a plan. He’s going to confess on the way home when they’re alone. They’ll walk together as usual and right before they reach the split in the road, he’ll tell Kageyama he has something important to say. He’ll reach out and grab Kageyama’s hand and then just spill all of his feelings. If he doesn’t feel the same way, he can just run home and hide in his room for the weekend. At least he won’t have to face the embarrassment of getting rejected for a few days. Everything’s going to be fine. It’s all fine. 

Suddenly, the final bell rings. Hinata frantically jumps in his seat, causing his books to topple onto the ground. He hit his knee on the bottom of the desk in the process and a few of his classmates give him a weird look. He resists the urge to stick his tongue out at them as he scrambles to pick them up. He internally smacks himself. He needs to get himself together. He still has time to think things over and collect his thoughts. He’ll go to practice as usual and hopefully, he can gather the courage to confess by the end of the night. 

He stuffs the loose pieces of paper from his desk into his bag and throws it over his shoulder before scurrying out of the room. He can do this. Everything’s going to be fine. Yamaguchi said it himself. It can’t be that bad. He just has to say how he feels and if Kageyama doesn’t feel the same way then he’ll deal with the consequences after. Yeah. That’s good. It’s all gonna work out. 

Hinata nervously picks at his nails as he walks down the hall towards the front door. When he gets outside, he turns toward the stairs to the club room, but immediately stops when he spots Kageyama’s tall frame. He’s standing by the side of the building with a frown on his face. 

He walks towards him and excitedly throws his hand up to wave at his friend. He feels a grin spread across his face. He missed him at lunch. 

He opens his mouth to yell to him, “Ka-“ Hinata stops mid stride. The words die on his lips and he clamps his mouth shut with his hand still in the air. Kageyama isn’t alone. He wasn’t able to see the short girl from around the corner. She’s standing with both hands extended toward him and a small envelope decorated in stickers in her grasp.

Hinata quickly backs off and hides against the wall. He’s not sure why he feels the need to eavesdrop, but he wants to hear what she has to say. There’s no way Kageyama is going to accept the confession. 

He peers around the corner to see the girl looking down at her shoes.

“Kageyama-san, you probably don’t know who I am, but I’ve been to all of your matches this year. Y-you’re so cool and I just wanted to tell you how I feel before you graduated. Please accept my letter. I wrote it all down for you.” 

“O-oh.. um.. thank you..?” Kageyama reaches out a hand to take the envelope from the small girl. She’s trembling as she hands it over. She laughs awkwardly. 

“Oh! My names Ota Maru.”

“Um.. thank you, Ota.”

“You’re welcome, Kageyama-san. Uh.. I just think you’re so handsome and talented. You’re really tall and whenever you’re around, my heart skips a beat.” Hinata rolls his eyes. Of course that’s what she would notice.

“I-I appreciate it Ota.” 

“Of course,” the girl responds. She wrings her hands and nervously reaches up to move her hair behind her ear. “Um.. w-would you want to hang out with me this weekend? There’s a cafe in town we could go to.” Hinata’s hand clenches in a fist. That’s their cafe. 

“Oh.. I think I’m going to be busy with practice. Sorry.” Kageyama says and glances away.

“How about next weekend?” She asks enthusiastically and looks up at him with hopeful eyes. Kageyama cringes and scratches the back of his neck. Hinata wants her to back off.

“I have a tournament next week.”

“How about after that?” 

“I..don’t think that’ll work either,” He says awkwardly. Hinata snickers in triumph.

Ota’s shoulders slump and she looks back down at her shoes. 

“Oh. I see... Am I.. not pretty enough?” Hinata rolls his eyes. She persistent, he’ll give her that. He can see tears welling in her eyes. 

“No! No, that’s not it at all! You’re very pretty. I’m sorry. I just have a lot of stuff to figure out right now. It’s nothing against you.” He reaches up to gently wipe the tear that escaped from her eye with the pad of his thumb. His hand lingers on her face for a second. She sniffles and stares at him. 

Hinata feels his heart roar in his chest. It pounds against his rib cage and cries in outrage. Why is he touching her like that? That should be him. Kageyama should be touching him like that with his rough hands. Hinata bites his lips and forces himself to stay hidden. 

“Oh, okay.. So, if it wasn’t for that, would you be interested?”

“Um.. I’d like to think so, but I.. um actually like someone else right now.” Ota’s eyes widen and she gasps.

Hinata’s heart drops. He feels it twist painfully as his head spins. He likes someone? Why didn’t he tell him? Who could he possibly be interested in? Are they better than him? Is that it? 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She says. Kageyama nods and looks at his own shoes. 

“It’s okay. I apologize if I hurt your feelings.”

“It’s fine. Are they.. um.. good to you at least?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty amazing,” Kageyama says as he looks at a spot in the distance. He smiles wistfully. 

“Um.. is it because of that red headed boy you hang out with?”

Kageyama freezes in his spot. He looks extremely tense. Hinata holds his breath in anticipation. _Please_ , his heart cries out. It takes everything in him not to move in that moment. He’s not sure whether he wants to run toward them or away from them. 

“No! Um. We’re.. um not like that.” Kageyama looks distraught. The words echo in his head. Hinata feels his breath catch as he looks away from them. He’s heard enough. 

Hinata feels like he’s suffocating. His heart shatters as tears spring to his eyes. He lets out a gasp and turns away. He sprints towards the school.

He’s not sure where his feet are taking him but he ends up bursting into an empty bathroom. He lets out another gasp as the tears finally fall from his eyes.

_ ”We’re not like that.” Like what?  _

_ Is it because we’re boys or is it because there’s something wrong with me? _

Hinata clenches his hand over his chest. His heart burns and it feels like it’s tearing him apart. It’s so unfair. Why did he have to fall in love with the one person who refuses to love him back? 

His chest aches as he thinks back to the look on Kageyama’s face when he was talking about the person he supposedly has feelings for. All he wants is for Kageyama to look at him like that. 

Hinata drags in pained breaths and his body shudders from his sobbing. 

Years of allowing his heart to chase after his best friend. He regrets ever letting himself get this close. He let himself open up to Kageyama and now he’s burned himself with his own pointless hope. He almost wishes he never heard any of it, so he could go on with the faint glimmer of hope that they’d end up together. Why did he ever think Kageyama could feel the same way about him? 

He thought he could accept his unrequited feelings, but hearing it out loud breaks him in a way he didn’t think was imaginable. Even worse, now he knows it’s because of someone else. It hurts. It hurts so bad and all he wants is for Kageyama to come in and hold him close like he always does. He wants him to wipe the tears away like he did for Ota and run his hands through his hair. Hinata’s body slumps against the wall and slides to the floor. His hands rub at his eyes and he hiccups. He allows himself to cry for the first person he’s ever loved. He thought he was special. All of their moments together and shared secrets. He thought their hangouts and close bond could somehow turn into a relationship. He should’ve known better. It was bound to end up like this. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been in here. Hinata let’s the final tears fall as he regains his breath. He pulls his legs up to his chest on the bathroom floor. At least he knows now. 

Hinata resolves himself to hiding his feelings away. He doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to move on, but somehow he hopes he’ll be able to fall out of love. It’s hard to imagine if that’ll ever happen when Kageyama always close by. 

Hinata sniffles as he struggles to his feet. He stumbles towards the sink to splash cold water on his face. His eyes and cheeks are stained red. 

He takes a final look in the mirror before pushing away from the counter and stomping out of the bathroom. 

* * *

“No! We’re.. um not like that..” Kageyama shifts in place uncomfortably. He’s quiet for a second and scratches at the back of his neck again. “Or at least not really. I don’t think he’s interested in me in that way.”

“Oh. I understand. Maybe you should try your hand at confessing. You never know. He’s always by your side, so I just thought he was interested. I apologize if I offended you.”

“Uh.. I’m not sure. Like I said, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Ota responds. He wasn’t lying. She is quite pretty, but it just doesn’t click for him. He thinks, in another life where he hadn’t fallen for Hinata, he might’ve taken her up on her offer. “Well, I’m probably holding you up for practice. So, I’ll let you go. Do you think we could ever be friends?” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” 

She perks up immediately. Her eyes glimmer in the afternoon light and she practically glows. Yeah, she’s definitely pretty. He’s shocked someone as attractive as her would ever be interested in him.

“Great! Here’s my number! I was gonna give you this if you decided to go on a date with me, but I guess this works too.” She removes a scrap of paper from her pocket. He raises his eyebrow. At least she’s well prepared. He takes it from her grasp.

“Okay, thanks. See ya,” Kageyama says and waves. She waves back.

As Kageyama begins walking away, he hears her voice again.

“Kageyama-san!”

He turns to face her. “Yeah?”

“Good luck,” She says. She turns and walks away with a small smile. Kageyama looks after her in confusion before he realizes what she meant. He blushes. 

Kageyama walks towards the club room to get changed.

When he’s finished, he starts looking around for the fiery head of hair he’s used to seeing. After five minutes, Hinata's still hasn’t shown up. 

Kageyama frowns. He’s not usually late. It’s normal for him to show up late for class or lunch, but practice was different. Hand it to the idiot to be late a week before spring interhigh. 

He assumes he has a stomach ache or something of the sort. He looks around one last time and walks off towards the gym. 

Twenty minutes later, Hinata still hasn’t shown up. Kageyama starts to feel concern creep through him. He didn’t have a chance to see him at lunch because he was too busy updating Tsukki on his latest revelation. Unsurprisingly, Tsukki told him to get his shit together and just tell Hinata all the stuff he’s been hiding. Of course, Kageyama didn’t agree to this and simply pushed it off for a later date. 

After practicing another round of sets, Kageyama finally relents. He jogs over to Yamaguchi on the sidelines. 

“Hey. Where’s the idiot?”

“No idea. He hasn’t texted me. He was fine at lunch.”

Kageyama frowns again and walks back onto the court for a practice match. 

He finally gets his answer a couple minutes later. Hinata stalks into the gym in the middle of practicing receives. He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone.

“Oi! Boke, you’re late! Where were you?” 

“Shut up.” Hinata says in a flat tone and walks over to Yamaguchi with his head down. Kageyama’s eyes widen. Tsukki gives him a questioning look out of his eye. Kageyama furrows his eyebrows in confusion and shakes his head in return. Something is definitely off. 

Yamaguchi pulls him off to the side and Hinata begins whispering fervently. The taller boy starts rubbing his back and whispering too. They continue whispering back and forth for a few minutes. Hinata is clenching his fist and breathing heavily, while Yamaguchi looks concerned.  Kageyama wants to go over and ask what’s going on, but he doesn’t want to intrude. Something clearly set him off. He figures he can ask about it later. 

Kageyama tries to refocus on the game, but he can’t help but glance over at the small boy every few seconds. Hinata nods at Yamaguchi. 

The freckled boy claps his hands as the team halts to focus on him. 

“Alright, we’re gonna rotate teams for the next set.” There’s a round of ‘yes, captain’ and ‘okay, Yamaguchi-san’ from the team. 

Hinata gets put in on his team. He slowly walks onto the front row of the court without another glance. He doesn’t even look back at him. Kageyama feels his eyebrows scrunch and irritation rise inside of him. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden? 

Kageyama’s thoughts get cut short as a serve flies over the net. One of the first years digs the ball and sends it up into the air. Kageyama positions himself under it and sets it to the front for Hinata. The spiker swings and misses. 

“Don’t mind!” The team cheers. Kageyama tries to make eye contact with him to give him a ‘get it together’ look, but Hinata just goes back to his position. Kageyama brushes it off. He’s probably not warmed up. 

The game continues and Hinata still can’t get into sync. His reads are off and he lets basic spikes get past him. He’s not jumping as high as he usually does either. Kageyama hasn’t seen him play this poorly since first year. What the fuck is going on? 

He can’t ask him about it either. Every time he tries to argue with the boy, Yamaguchi cuts in and refocuses them on the game. Hinata still refuses to make eye contact with him, so he can’t get into their usual rhythm either. 

He decides to set to one of the first years instead for a few volleys. He’s hoping Hinata will adjust by the time they attempt their quick again. 

As the ball is bumped up into the air, Kageyama moves in for another quick. He knows the set is too fast though. In his frustration, he rushed the set to score a point. In an effort to adapt, Hinata jumps off of his left foot at an unnatural angle. It sends his body toppling to the side as he crashes down onto the ground. The ball lands next to him. 

Kageyama’s eyes widen and he strides forward towards him. 

Hinata is on the ground gripping his ankle. Kageyama reaches towards the boy to help him up. 

“Hinata, I didn’t mean t-“

“Don’t touch me!” Hinata yells. The sound echoes off the walls of the gym. It suddenly becomes eerily quiet. All he can hear is Hinata’s heavy breathing. Kageyama tries to reach his hand out again. 

“Just let me help you up. Sorry, I didn’t mean to set it li-“ 

“I said don’t touch me.” Hinata forcefully slaps his hand away. Kageyama snatches his hand back in shock. “I’m sure you don’t mean a lot of things.” Hinata tacks on. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Kageyama spits in anger. He was just trying to help. 

“It means I want you to get the fuck away from me!” Hinata screams. Kageyama stares at him. The red heads eyes burn with rage. He doesn’t know how to respond. 

Tsukki ducks under the net and jogs up to Kageyama’s side.

“What the fuck is going on?” He says. 

“Mind your own damn business.” Hinata says as he tries to stand up. Yamaguchi is by his side immediately and steadies him. 

“Hinata, calm down,” he whispers. Hinata rips his arm out of his grasp and limps towards the bench. 

“I’m leaving,” Hinata responds and grabs his things. He hobbled towards the gym doors. 

“Hinata!” Yamaguchi yells after him. He chases him out of the door. Tsukki and Kageyama exchange astonished looks. Kageyama tries to chase after them, but Tsukki grabs a hold of his arm.

“Just leave it for now. He might need some space.” Tsukki says. Kageyama silently tries to battle with him but eventually relents. He turns back towards the court. 

“Alright, let’s get back to the game. practice is almost over,” Tsukki says to the rest of the team. 

They look at each other in confusion, but get back in position as well. Kageyama tries to refocus, but it’s a futile effort. Hinata’s face lingers in his mind. He doesn’t understand what could’ve caused him to act like that, especially towards him. 

As they wrap up practice, Hinata and Yamaguchi still haven’t come back. When he gets changed in the club room, they aren’t there either. He noticed that their bags are gone. He wanted to ask him what happened on their way home, but clearly he wouldn’t get the chance. Kageyama settles on walking home alone for the night.

* * *

The next few days are equally tense. It seems like there’s been a line drawn between the two of them. Kageyama hasn’t been able to utter a word to him ever since that practice. He tried to text and call him that night about his sudden blowup, but to no avail. Hinata read his messages and never responded. 

When he asked Tsukki about it, he was just as confused. He’s spent most of his days hanging out and eating with Tsukki. 

Yamaguchi and Hinata have disappeared on their own and have barely spoken to them. Practice is awkward at best. The tension has grown with each day that passes. Their quick only gets worse. They don’t sync up at all. Kageyama has had to adapt by setting to other players.

Kageyama feels nerves creep up on him. They only had two days left until spring interhigh and things weren’t improving at all. Yamaguchi has put in their back up setter a few times to make up for their issues. Hinata is able to spike some of the sets like normal with them.

Kageyama tries not to feel angry about the situation, but he feels like he’s been left in the dark. Every time he goes anywhere near Hinata, the smaller boy flares up and proceeds to ignore him. Kageyama tries to reach out to him to comfort him in any way he can and Hinata flinches away. 

Kageyama feels hurt. He’s become so used to the small touches he was allowed and it’s suddenly being snatched away. It also hurt to be shut out without any explanation. It felt like just a week ago, they were inseparable. Hinata is his closest friend and now he can barely stand to be around him. He feels like he’s losing the only person he’s ever loved. It brings him back in middle school again. He has no one to connect with or talk to other than Tsukki. He’s great and all, but everything just feels wrong without Hinata. 

It doesn’t help that his shoulder has been aching randomly for the past few weeks. He knows it’s from falling off the fence all those nights ago, but he’s been hoping it’ll just go away. Hinata isn’t faring much better either. He still has a slight limp and neither of them can mentally get into the game. 

* * *

By the time spring interhigh rolls around, Kageyama can feel the pressure building. Hinata still hasn’t contacted him and he feels like his body is off. 

They somehow scrape by the first day of matches and advance to the next round but just barely. The mood of the team has taken a turn for the worst and everyone seems on edge. It’s as if they’re waiting for another blowup. 

It never comes though. By their third day, they’re facing Shiratorizawa. Kageyama tries his best to hold it together, but by the fifth set, his shoulder finally gives out. 

Kageyama takes a breath and throws the ball in the air. He runs forward and jumps. He’s in the perfect position for a service ace, but as he swings his arm back, a sharp pain shoots up his arm. He tries to hit it over anyway with whatever strength he has left. He flubs the serve and it hits the net. 

The team tries to cheer him up. Kageyama grimaces through the pain and tries to roll it to relieve some of the tension. He hisses as the stinging returns. His shoulder feels like it’s on fire and numb at the same time. He pushes through it and attempts to set, but the ball is continuously sent at the wrong angle. Eventually, he’s subbed out for the rest of the match. 

His emotions feel like an oncoming storm. He feels stressed that they may lose the match, anger for being benched, fear that he’ll lose his contract, pain from his injury, and sadness at the possibility of losing his partner.

He watches as the team tries to make up for all of their mistakes. Hinata attempts to sync with the new setter and falters. His ankle is clearly bothering him as well. Everything is going wrong. 

The points crawl by on both sides, but Shiratorizawa makes a break. They grab a hold of the flow of the game and ride it to the end. Karasuno looses by 6 points in the last set. It was an utter failure and Kageyama feels dread crawling up his spine. He looks towards the crowd and spots Yoshida with a sad smile. Kageyama tries to hold back the tears in his eyes. It feels like all of the good things in his life are slipping out of his grasp. It’s too much. 

Yoshida waves him over and Kageyama sullenly walks over to the man. He bows to him. He feels his lip trembling and his body shakes. 

“Yoshida-san. I’m so sorry. I know you had high expectations for me, but everything got messed up today. My shoulder has been acting up and my team hasn’t been able to sync. I’m not sure what happened and I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. All I’ve ever wanted is to join a team like the Adlers and I understand if I can’t make it on anymore and-“ Yoshida cuts him  off and clamps on a hand on his shoulder. He firmly gives him a shake and looks him in the eyes. Kageyama feels like he’s hyperventilating. 

“Woah, woah. It’s okay, Kageyama. You don’t need to apologize. Things happen. I could tell something was off today and that’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes. I can’t expect you to perform perfectly  in every single match. Of course, I have expectations for you, but that doesn’t mean you’ll lose your place with the Adlers. It just means we’ll have to figure something out, okay?” Yoshida is rubbing his back in an effort to calm him down. 

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just stressed right now.” Kageyama quickly wipes at his face.

“That’s okay. High school is tough. My biggest concern is making sure you’re okay. How’re you feeling? Do you still want to pursue professional volleyball? How is your shoulder?”

“Yes, of course! I still want to join the Adlers if I can. I think my body is just exhausted and my shoulder is worn out from the tournament. I’ll definitely get it checked out and update you.”

“Okay. That’s good. Everything will work out. Just take a breath.” Kageyama finally releases the breath he’s holding in. “Okay, good. Now, listen to me carefully. This isn’t the end of the world. I know I told you that the scouts wanted to see you at nationals, but you still have plenty of potential. You are extremely talented and you proved that today by performing even at your weakest. Look at where you are. You made it to finals and through to the fifth set. You fought for your place there just like you can fight for your place on the Adlers.”

“Thank you, Yoshida-san. I really appreciate your support,” Kageyama says. He just needs someone to be there for him right now. 

“Of course, that’s what I’m here for.” 

“So, what happens now?” Kageyama asks in a sad voice.

“Well, there are lots of possibilities. I can assure you that you still have a place on the team. I will make sure your contract is still in place. I’ll have to talk to the coach about when you’ll be able to join though. Do you want me to be honest?”

“Yes, please,” Kageyama mumbles.

“Okay. I think that you’ll need to get a little more experience, which is completely fine. That’s normal. I think you should join a college team and take that time to recover. It’ll give your shoulder time to heal. It’s clear that there’s a lot going on right now and who can blame you? There’s a lot on your plate. You’re young and still figuring out what you want to do with your future. I have some great contacts at elite schools that I think you’d be interested in. I can set you up and you’ll be on the Adlers in no time. I’ll talk to the coach and hopefully, after a few matches you’ll be ready. I have no doubt you’ll be on the team before the end of your first year.” Kageyama feels relief flow through him. He still has a chance. 

“I’ll do that. Thank you, Yoshida-san. Thank you so much.” 

“Of course. I’ve been hearing from a few of my colleagues that Kyoto is extremely interested in you. I think they may be here actually. Why don’t we go talk to them, yeah?”

“Yes! Thank you.” 

Yoshida was right. Despite his poor performance in the match, Kyoto was fully  prepared to offer him a scholarship to play on their team. They want him as a starting setter. For the first time that week, Kageyama feels happy again. They trade phone numbers and Kageyama verbally commits to the university. Kyoto was always his top choice. They’re one of the best schools in the nation, which only added to the fact that their volleyball team is unparalleled. He lets himself take in his achievement for a moment before facing the team again. His hard work finally paid off.

However, that night, there are no comforting words or shoulders to lean on over their loss. No one is there to wipe his tears or share a warm embrace. There’s no late night sleepover or shared futons. That night, Kageyama feels lonely. 

* * *

In the following weeks, things have slightly improved. Hinata is barely on speaking terms with him, but he finally shows up for lunch again. They still haven’t talked about what happened that day, but Kageyama is happy to feel some normalcy again. Hinata also continues to avoid him whenever possible. He dodges his calls and they haven’t hung out outside of school. He misses seeing Natsu and the warm home cooked meals. He misses walking home together after a tiring practice. He misses laying in bed together and feeling Hinata’s warmth under the sheets. Kageyama misses Hinata. He can barely stand it.

It feels like the person he loves is gone. He’s been replaced by blank stares and monotone responses. He draws away from their touches and leaves him reeling. Where is the Hinata he knows? He feels so alone. 

* * *

The weeks continue to quietly pass by. They’re sitting at lunch in one of the empty classrooms. Yamaguchi and Tsukki are at his side, while Hinata sits across from him. It feels like it’s been so long since he’s had Hinata next to him. His heart aches to reach out again. 

“So, Hinata, have you decided on your offers yet?” Yamaguchi asks. Kageyama perks up at the topic. He’s been curious as to where Hinata is going to end up. They had so many plans to go to college together and now it seems like a distant memory. He remembers how excited Hinata was back then. 

“Not yet. I’m still stuck between a few schools and waiting for responses from some other schools,” Hinata says. Kageyama can’t help but interject. The curiosity is eating him alive. He also just wants a chance to talk to him again.

“What schools are you thinking about?” Hinata glances at him and makes eye contact for the first time in what feels like years. Kageyama stares back at him. He’s missed this. A beat of silence passes between them before Hinata finally speaks up.

“Just smaller schools like Kindai and Osaka. Nothing you’d be interested in. I’m still waiting on Kyoto though.” Hinata responds. Kageyama feels his heart skip a beat. There was still a chance. 

“Oh. Okay, those are great schools.”

“Yeah.” Hinata says with finality. He looks away from Kageyama’s face and back down at his food. The lapse into silence again.

Yamaguchi breaks off into conversation about finals. Kageyama drifts away into his thoughts as he finishes his food. Maybe Hinata will end up at Kyoto with him.

* * *

When he gets home, he lays in bed lost in thought. He shuffles around but he can’t seem to get comfortable. His mind has been racing at the possibility that he may still have a future with Hinata. He can’t know for sure though and it’s killing him. 

He rolls onto his side and tries to shut his eyes, but can’t seem to calm down. He rolls over again and shifts under his blanket. His mind is racing. 

Their conversation is bothering him. While he’s glad they finally spoke to each other, he wishes things would just go back to normal. Then there’s the topic of college. Kageyama screws his eyes shut and let’s out a wavering breath. He finally breaks.

He sits up in his bed and grabs his phone. He sends a text to Hinata. 

‘Hey. Idk why you’ve been avoiding me, but I just wanted to see if you’re doing okay. Are you awake?’ 

Kageyama stares at his phone for a few minutes and waits for him to read it. After five minutes pass, he gives up. He lays back down on his bed and mulls over the past few weeks. It’s been hell if he’s going to be honest. It’s like Hinata just suddenly disappeared from his life. He just wishes he knew why. If he did something wrong, he would try to fix it in a heartbeat. 

He thinks Hinata must’ve finally gotten sick of him. He’d probably get sick of himself too. Hinata was probably waiting for the end of high school to get rid of him. He’s too nice to say it to his face, so he probably wanted to cut things off now. 

Even then, his feelings haven’t gone away. If anything, it feels like they’ve gotten worse. In the time they’ve been separated, his heart only yearns for Hinata more. He’d do anything to back to that night under the stars when he felt so connected to him. Kageyama feels desperate. He doesn’t want to give up on them. 

He sits up on his bed and quickly clicks on a contact in his phone. It rings a couple of times before the line connects.

“Hello? Kageyama?”

“Hi, coach Niigata-san. I apologize for calling so late, but I had a question.”

“That’s alright. What is it? You’re not reconsidering joining the team are you?

“No, of course not. My question is actually about the team. I was wondering if you were scouting one of my team mates, Hinata Shoyo?”

“Ahh, Hinata. He’s quite a talented middle blocker. We have been looking at him, but there are a lot of applicants. Why do you ask?”

“Oh.. um.. I don’t know if it’s my place to say.” 

“It’s alright. You can tell me.”

“Um.. well, I think he’s an essential player. I’ve been playing with him for three years and we’ve both excelled when we worked together. He’s also extremely athletic and I think he has a lot of potential. I think you’d be missing out if you didn’t have him on the team.”

“Oh, really? I’m surprised to hear such praise from you. We were quite interested in him, but it seemed like he was struggling in his last few matches at spring interhigh. If that’s the case though, I’ll definitely talk to the other coaches. You think the team needs him?” _I need him_ , his mind whispers. 

“Yes, coach. I think he’s an asset to the team and I’ll be able to bring the best out of him competitively.”

“Well, that’s great to hear then. I’ll see what I can do. Is there anything else you needed?”

“Uh.. no. Thank you, coach Niigata-san.” 

“Of course. Call me any time, Kageyama. Bye.”

“Bye,” Kageyama says as he hangs up the phone. He’s not sure what the hell he’s doing. He probably shouldn’t have meddled in Hinata’s business, but he can’t help it. He decides not to tell Hinata about this, but it’s not like he’d have the chance to anyway. 

He’s clinging to the possibility that he’ll get just a little more time with the boy he loves so dearly. Even if it’s just another glance or to simply be in his presence. Maybe he’ll even get to see him smile at him again. 

As he lays down in bed, his phone buzzes.

‘I’m okay. Thanks for checking on me. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.’

‘Do you want to talk about it? We can go to the cafe tomorrow?’

‘Can’t. Have to babysit Natsu tmrw.’ 

‘Oh ok.’ Hinata opens his message, but doesn’t respond. It’s better than nothing.

* * *

Graduation is uneventful and Kageyama is almost glad this chapter of his life is over with. He thinks back on all the memories he’s made with his friends and team fondly, but he’s ready for a fresh start. Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukki, Yachi, and Yamaguchi had a graduation dinner downtown to celebrate. Hinata is back to smiling and Kageyama feels his heart warm. He’s disappointed that the smiles aren’t directed at him, but it’s beautiful to see it anyway. 

He takes in the delicious meal with his friends and chat about their families. They all agree to meet up again after their first semester at college.

Kageyama heads home afterwards and plops onto his bed. He hopes that isn’t the last time he sees Hinata for months. If things go well, maybe it won’t be the end for them. Kageyama hangs onto the small hope that Hinata will be on the court beside him, even if that’s the only way he can have him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! i apologize for taking so long to update! i want to finally get back on top of writing. also, sorry for all the angst hehe. i just wanted this arc of the story to be over with and of course, i can’t make it easy on the boys. wahhhh i apologize. i didn’t tag it as slow burn for no reason. cheers to more drama to come and a new year! as always, leave your thoughts even if you hate me for this heh. - daisy


	21. Pencil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgotten items and potted plants.

In the weeks following graduation, Kageyama gets through most of his days by focusing on packing and starting on a new team. He tries not to allow himself to think about the face that may be on it. He tried, he really did. 

He can’t help it when he’s laying in bed though. His mind wanders and thoughts drift through. He’s only seen him a few times since that dinner. They met up with the group to exchange a few going away gifts and check up on the team. Kageyama got Tsukki a new pair of headphones and Yamaguchi a new phone case. He went back and forth on what to get Hinata though. At first he considered getting him a gift card, but that felt a little too impersonal. Then he contemplated getting him a new switch game, but they’re quite expensive. He thought back to the days when they’d play smash with Natsu. He feels nostalgic. He stares down at the worn out bracelet Natsu gave him. 

It was simple then. Hinata still looked at him without indifference in his eyes. If he looked close enough, he could’ve sworn he saw adoration. That’s gone now. 

Kageyama would do anything to get that look back. He wishes things would just go back to normal, or as normal as they could be between the two of them. Even simple interactions felt strained now. They used to be close. No, they were more than close he thinks. 

Whatever connection he felt here and there has suddenly vanished into thin air. 

It’s frustrating at best and heartbreaking at worst. He’s thought it over dozens of times. Yet, he can’t figure out what could’ve caused Hinata to pull away. Everything was going great until that day he lashed out. It feels like ever since then, they’ve gone into a nose dive and everything has fallen apart. 

Kageyama has never been good with words. He meticulously scans over everything he said leading up to that point.Sure, he teased him every once and a while, but he can’t think of anything that was overtly harsh or mean. They argued a few times and swung at each other occasionally, but that was nothing new. Hejust couldn’t figure it out. 

He even asked Tsukki about it, who in turn, asked Yamaguchi about Hinata. The freckled boy refused to divulge a single syllable on the topic. Tsukki told him to just confront Hinata about it, which he did, but with little results. Hinata always has some excuse prepared to avoid the conversations. He’s also taken to avoiding him outside of school. Their walks home have become few and far between. He’ll stay behind to help ‘clean up’ and waves him off, telling him not to wait up. Kageyama has also tried to initiate their trips to the cafe more often with little to show for. Each weekend, Hinata has pushed off their hangouts by saying he has to babysit or help with chores. It’s maddening.

He didn’t intend to spy on Hinata, but one weekend he breaks. He used going on a run as an excuse and jogs over to Hinata’s house. Just as he was approaching the driveway, he saw Hinata and Yamaguchi leaving his house. In any other situation, he may have felt jealous, but he knows he’s nauseatingly in love with Tsukki. 

He decided not to follow them to spare his own feelings. Hinata told him he had plans with his mom that day, but Kageyama just brushed the thought off and headed home. 

When he finally settled on a gift, he decided to get him a new duffle bag for volleyball. In the past few years, he’s seen it become more and more ragged. It’s practically hanging on by a thread. There are holes littering the bottom and side of the bag. He’s not sure why he hasn’t already gotten another one. He figures it’s a practical gift. 

In return, Hinata oddly gave him a plant. He has no idea why he would though. He’s never been particularly gifted in caring for things. Apparently, some new plant shop opened up in town. 

Tsukki got him some notebooks for classes, but he said they probably wouldn’t help much with his shit grades. Kageyama glared at him but accepted the gift anyway. Yamaguchi gave him a blue beanie. He’d probably get a lot of use out of it, considering how cold it gets in Kyoto. 

He appreciated all of their gifts and if he ignored the sudden gap between him and Hinata, everything almost seemed normal. Of course, reality was never that simple. 

On the morning of move in, he gathers the last few items in his room and shoves them in his book bag. He stares at the small potted plant on his windowsill. He’s been trying his best to water it everyday, but he always forgets. It’s a frail bonsai plant that only has a few leaves. He picks up the pot with both hands and considers leaving it there, but doesn’t have the heart to. He brings it downstairs where his mom is packing up some food for him. Apparently she thinks he’ll starve if she doesn’t, even though there’s a dining hall. 

She looks up from the plastic container she’s filling. 

“Are you bringing that with you, Tobi?” 

“Uh, yeah. Do you have a box I can put it in?”

“Yeah, give me a second, honey.” She says and jams a pile of rice into the container. She rinses off her hands before walking out of the kitchen and disappearing down the hall. 

When she reappears, she has a small shoe box from the closet. 

“Here. Put that in there and stuff some newspaper around it, so it doesn’t fall over.” He nods and takes the box from her hands. He sets the plant on the dining room table and starts grabbing leftover newspapers to stuff them in. He thinks he did a good job. 

As he’s finishing up, his dad comes down the stairs. 

“Tobio, has Yoshida contacted you?” His dad says. 

“Yes. He says the contract is still open for me. He’s coming to my first game in March,” he responds. 

“Good. Make sure you train hard for that match. We don’t need anymore slip ups.” 

Kageyama feels anger flow through. He knew he didn’t perform well last season, but it hurts being reminded of it. He feels like he’s always fucking up in someone’s eyes. He feels useless. He looks away and forces himself to nod. 

“Let’s get going then,” his mom says to break the awkward silence. 

Kageyama turns to grab the box and heads for the front door. 

* * *

The drive lasts for a little over four hours before they’re pulling into the parking garage of Kyoto University. The campus is clean and beautiful. There are already groups of students scattered around the open courtyard. Kageyama feels a hint of apprehension and anxiety sweep through him. He’s nervous to meet his roommate and even more scared by the thought of making friends. He feels like he just barely conquered that mountain a few years ago and now he has to start all over again. 

Kageyama gives a final look around before unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door. He climbs out and shuts it behind him. He opens the back door and pulls the box out of the seat before grabbing a bag from his trunk. His dad grabs a large bin and his mom grabs the remaining bags. He’s slightly surprised by how much stuff he needs.

His mom directs them towards a dorm building from a map on her phone. He’s glad she came along, otherwise he’d probably be extremely lost. He also just didn’t want to be stuck in the car with his dad for four hours. 

His dad left to go check the car and his mom started unpacking his clothes. Kageyama unzipped his book bag to take out his notebooks and school supplies. He’s heard college courses are hell from the second and third years, especially from Suga who decided to go here. He’s happy to know at least one person on campus, in case anything comes up. He’s not sure he’ll see him too often though, considering Suga’s a literature major and he’s a sports science major. It felt like a good backup option if he actually ended up graduating before joining the Adlers. 

He’s also heard rumors that a few of their rivals from high school also go here. He’s sure he’ll run into them at some point. There’s only one person he wants to see though. 

He feels restless. He just wants to get back onto the court. Kageyama rushes through unpacking the rest of his stuff. He turns to take the potted plant out of the box and places it on the windowsill. It looks slightly out of place in his bare room. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask, but I always forget, when did you buy that little  plant, honey?” Kageyama looks up in surprise and turns to his mom. 

“Oh, this? Um.. I didn’t buy it. Hinata got it for me as a going away gift.”

“Ahh I see. Speaking of Hinata, what’s he been up to these days? I haven’t seen him around. Does he go here too? I remember him mentioning that he wanted to go to school with you.” 

Kageyama grimaces and looks away from her. “I’m not sure where he’s going. He’s been.. busy.” She looks at him in confusion and she placed the shirt in her hand on his bed. 

“Busy? Too busy to come see you? I haven’t seen him at the house in over a month. Did you two get in a fight?”

“Mom, can we not talk about this?”

“I just want to help, honey. Are things okay between the two of you?”

“I just..” His words drift off. 

“It’s okay. You can tell me. I won’t tell your father.” She says with a soft smile. 

Kageyama sighs. She definitely won’t drop the topic now. “Not exactly. We didn’t get in an argument, but he just snapped one day. I feel like I messed everything up. I think he just got tired of me like my other friends..” 

“Other friends?” She asks. Kageyama gives her a look and turns away again.

“Oh. Oh, no. Those kids weren’t your friends. You were going through a tough time back then. Hinata isn’t like that and you know it. I’m sure whatever happened was just a misunderstanding. You boys just need to talk it out, hm?” 

“I already tried that, mom.”

“And what happened?”

“He ignored me. I’ve tried talking to him so many times. He doesn’t want to see me or talk about it. I just don’t know what I did.” Kageyama scowls at the ground and clenches the shirt in his hand. He feels tears prick his eyes. He furiously wipes at them with his sleeve. 

“Honey, it’s okay.” She coos and walks over to him. She wraps her arm around his body and smooths his hair down. She gently pats his head. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers over and over again.

He breaks. He feels like he’s been holding back for so long. Tears burst from his eyes and roll down his cheek. He feels his lip trembling, and he tries his best to reign himself in but he can’t. He’s felt so alone and miserable. 

He allows himself to soften into the embrace and slumps to rest his head on his moms shoulder. 

“It’s okay, Tobi. I love you so much, okay? I know you can make it through this.” 

He feels a sob wrack through his body. He clings to her like a lifeline. 

“He hates me, mom.” Kageyama garbles out between sniffles. She tenses and then softens her grip. She removes her hand from his back and softly places it on his cheek. Her thumb slowly sweeps across his cheek and wipes away a stream of tears. He looks down at her. 

“Shh. No. Listen to me, okay? Hinata doesn’t hate you. I know that for a fact. Whatever happened between the two of you won’t last forever. Just give him some time to think things over. He probably just feels overwhelmed with the prospect of starting at a new school and making decisions about his future. You were stressed out too, right?”

Kageyama nods numbly. 

“Exactly. Everything is fine. I’m sure you were both just feeling stressed and needed some time away from each other. You two were practically conjoined at the hip. Sometimes it’s good just to take a break from everything and let yourself relax.”

Kageyama nods. He just wants to feel okay again. 

“I just don’t want to lose him,” he whispers. 

“And you won’t, honey. Okay? Let’s just take a deep breath and let it all out.” They both take a breath in before slowly exhaling. 

She grabs both of his shoulders and gives him a shake. 

“I may not know Hinata as well as you do, but I know that look in his eyes every time you’re around. He cares about you, truly. He would never just leave you. In all the years that I’ve seen you growing up, I’ve never seen someone care as deeply for you as he does and I’m glad. I’m so happy that you have someone in your life that’ll look out for you and be on your side. It may not feel like it now, but I know he’d drop everything in a heartbeat if you really needed him. Trust me on this.”

Kageyama nods again. “Thanks, mom.” 

“Of course, baby. You know I’m here whenever you need me.” She gently swipes his bangs to the side and places a kiss on his forehead. He bends down to place one on her cheek. 

As he pulls away, he hears the door open. He quickly wipes at his face before his dad can see. He strides in with another duffel bag swung over his shoulder. 

“This should be the last of it,” his dad says. Kageyama turns away from his mom and gives him a curt nod.

“Alright, think you can handle the rest?” His mom asks. 

“Yeah. Thanks for helping me move in,” he says to both of them. They both nod their heads and turn towards the door.

“I’ll leave you to it then. Stay safe and make sure to take good notes in class. Make sure to eat all the food I packed you. Oh and don’t stay out too late or do anything too crazy,” she says with a warm smile. 

Kageyama musters up a smile and waves as they start heading out of the door. His mom stops for a second and pulls him into a hug. 

“I’m so proud of you, Tobio. Keep going and don’t give up on him,” she whispers in his ear. He hugs her back and gives her a smile as he pulls away. She waves before walking out. He shuts the door behind her and breaths out a sigh of relief. He’s glad to take a second away from his parents to calm down. Kageyama feels some of the pressure lifted off of his shoulders. 

When he looks back up, he spots the plant across the room. It’s surprising to him that he even kept it alive for that long. He hopes he can take care of it for as long as it’ll allow him. It feels like a small reminder of home. He can tell he’s going to miss Miyagi and everything that came with it. It feels bitter sweet and ties him to reality. 

He stares at the plant for another minute and it spurs him to head for the gym. He needs something familiar, but also just wants something to distract himself.

Kageyama grabs his dorm key and duffle bag to head for the door. 

Kageyama lightly jogs across campus and passes students sitting in the courtyard. He glances at his phone every few seconds to make sure he’s going in the right direction. As he approaches the gym, a shiver spreads through his body. The door is shut and the thought of seeing what’s on the other side makes him nauseous. He’s spent so much time pushing off this moment and yet, he still doesn’t feel prepared. 

He slows to a walk as he approaches the double doors. He glances around before reaching out towards the handle. His hand is shaking. He grips the metal with clammy palms and shuts his eyes. His heart is pounding in his chest. He takes in a deep breath. He would have to face whatever, or whoever, was on the other side eventually. 

He holds his breath as he swings the door open. The gym is spacious and lit up with overhead lights. Other than the bleachers and volleyball net, the room is empty. Kageyama let’s out a sigh of both relief and disappointment. No ones here. He walks into the gym and the heavy door clicks shut behind him. 

He shakes his head at how paranoid he was acting. He tosses the gym bag down by the sideline of the court and settles on a nearby bench to pull on his sneakers from his bag. He grabs a volleyball from it as well. 

He heads onto the court and smacks the ball against the ground a couple times. Kageyama tosses the ball in the air in front of him and runs forward. As the ball comes down, he rears his arm back and swings. The ball goes flying over the net and lands towards the back line. 

When his feet make contact with the ground again, he feels an ache spread through his shoulder. Apparently, he strained a muscle in it. 

He scoffs at the reason behind it. He can’t blame Hinata though. It was his own choice to climb the fence and he’s been overworking it. His doctor recommended some shoulder mobility exercises and rest. Much to his dad’s displeasure, Kageyama scaled back on his workouts. It was the perfect time to anyway. He just graduated and he had a few weeks to regain his strength. 

The pain has mostly gone away, but it still lingers sometimes. He definitely should’ve warmed up first. He rolls his shoulder slowly in circular motions before lifting his arm to stretch it further. 

After stretching out the rest of his body, he throws himself into practicing sets and serves. It feels good to sweat again. The burning in his muscles pulls him away from all his stress. He pushes himself to exhaustion and drags in breaths of air. He bends over and rests his hands on his knees. He probably stinks now and he’s gonna have to shower when he gets back to the dorm. 

He raises his arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He’ll just get a few more serves in. As he approaches the ball, the metal door creaks open. He freezes and flubs the serve, sending it way out of bounds. 

When he lands, he whips his head around. He hopes it isn’t the janitor or some administrator coming to yell at him.

His eyes land on a black mess of hair and the person raises their eyebrows at him. Kageyama’s eyes shift to the right and stops on the short boy standing beside him. He looks golden. His breath stills and his heart convulses. Hinata. 

The boy he loves is right in front of him and he almost wants to run forward and pull him into a hug. He knows he can’t though. The red head of hair turns towards him and Kageyama watches as his eyes light up for a second. It’s quickly replaced by panic. The boys mouth drops open and he throws him arm up to point at him. 

“You?!” Hinata screams. 

“Me..?” Kageyama responds lamely. 

The three boys awkwardly stare at each other for a moment. Kuroo coughs and it forces him to stop staring at Hinata’s face. 

“I was just.. um.. pract- um.. about to leave.” Kuroo curiously glances between the two of them before looking back at Kageyama. 

“Oh no. Don’t leave. I haven’t seen the two of you in so long. Let’s practice for a little bit.” Kuroo says. Hinata looks conflicted.

Kageyama hesitates. He never knows what to do in these situations. He looks around the gym for some excuse to leave. 

Hinata clearing his throat catches his attention though. 

“Yeah, let’s practice,” he says and gives Kageyama an unreadable look. Kageyama just nods at them and turns back towards the net. At first Hinata seemed a little tense, as if he was holding back. Kuroo easily melted into playing though. It seems like he’s been practicing quite a bit. Kageyama would venture to say he’s probably on the team too. The thought makes his head spin.

Does that mean Hinata is on the team? It would make sense. Otherwise, why else would he be here? There’s no other way he could’ve gotten into the school. Does that mean they can play together again? Will it work this time? Can they be friends again? 

“Kageyama! Can you toss me that ball by your foot?” Kuroo asks with a raised eyebrow. Kageyama was frozen in the middle of the court. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” Kageyama bends down to grab the ball and tosses it to the taller boy. 

Kageyama recollects himself and files the thoughts away for later. What’s important is that Hinata is here at Kyoto with him. Whatever the case may be, he can’t help but feel relieved and hopeful. He’s glad he spoke to his coach. At that time, they already chose their first round picks for the team and he just couldn’t wait any longer. He was so afraid of Hinata slipping away. He knows he shouldn’t have meddled in his life but he’s selfish. One of his many flaws. It’s probably why Hinata distanced himself. 

Kageyama berates himself for lying again, but shuts the thoughts out. He just has to focus on volleyball right now. He continues practicing for a while and sneaks glances at Hinata. He’s exactly the same. It’s not that he expected anything different, but it’s nice to know that he hasn’t missed anything. Hinata is still Hinata. He’s warmed up and visibly more comfortable on the court now. He allows himself to watch Hinata jump into the air. 

It amazes him as always and makes him truly appreciate how much he’s grown. It’s nice seeing him play again. It’s a reminder that Hinata isn’t weak. He’s as determined and bright as ever. He looks happy at least. It seems like whatever drove him away doesn’t seem to be affecting him anymore. 

Kageyama frowns and walks off the court. He starts packing up his stuff. 

“I’m gonna head out. I need to finish unpacking,” he says.

“Alright. See you at practice, Kageyama,” Kuroo responds. 

“Bye.” Kageyama says and waves at them. Hinata turns and gives him a small wave. Kageyama’s heart skips a beat. 

That night, he met his roommate, Matsui Shiro. He was surprised to see someone in his dorm when he got back. He had no idea when he was going to show up. 

The boy is on the shorter side. He’s probably around Suga’s height and has a skinny build. He also has light brown hair and golden eyes. He kind of reminds him of Nishinoya. 

Their personalities definitely go hand in hand as well. He’s loud and easily excitable, as shown by the boisterous greeting he received as soon as he opened the door. He insisted that Kageyama call him Shiro rather than his surname. He reluctantly agreed and listened as Shiro spoke. He told him where he was from and about his major. Kageyama nodded along and gave quick responses to whatever questions he was asked. 

Shiro doesn’t seem like he’ll be a bad roommate. Yeah, he’s loud but otherwise, he seems nice to be around and clean. He’s quite organized and Kageyama watches as he meticulously arranges items on his desk. He also has a really positive energy. He definitely reminds him of Noya, but without the mess. 

They chatted for a little bit about volleyball once Shiro spotted his bag. It feels nice to socialize with someone again even if he doesn’t do it very often. 

When it gets late into the night, Kageyama excuses himself and heads to the showers in the communal bathroom. He wants to rinse off the long day he’s had. 

* * *

The next morning, Kageyama wakes up early to prepare his bag for classes. It’s his first day of college and he already knows he’s going to be lost. He wants to make an effort for the first week at least. He knows he probably won’t do too well in terms of grades, but he’s gonna try to do his best. 

Shiro is still asleep in his bed. Kageyama zips up his bag and quietly slips out of the door. He makes his way across campus to his first class. It’s some intro psychology course. Kageyama walks into the building and towards the lecture hall doors. 

It’s a large auditorium style setup with a podium and desk at the front. His eyes sweep across the people already seated and lands on a red mop of hair. There’s no way. 

Kageyama slowly lets the door shut behind him and walks up the steps. The boy is looking down at his phone in concentration and his tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth. Kageyama creeps forward and squints at him. He can’t tell if it’s the person he thinks it is. That would be a wild coincidence. 

He lets his eyes scan over the boy. That’s definitely Hinata’s ratty school bag. His eyes look beside it and spots the duffle bag he got him just a few weeks ago. It is Hinata. 

He stands frozen a few steps away from Hinata’s seat for a second. He’s not sure what possessed his body to lurch forward, but he’s moving before he can even think about it. He’s standing by the seat beside Hinata now. The ginger boy cranes his neck to look up at him in surprise. 

“Oh, hi.” Hinata says.

“Uh, hi. Um.. do you mind if I sit here? I don’t know anyone else..” Kageyama replies. It’s not a lie. He really didn’t know anyone and even if he did, he couldn’t help himself from being close to Hinata when he got the chance. 

An awkward beat of silence passes between them as Hinata stares up into his eyes. Hinata slowly looks away from him and faces forward. 

“Sure.” Hinata finally mutters.

Kageyama almost thinks he imagined it. He wasn’t sure if he heard him correctly. Kageyama stares down at the shorter boys head. 

“Sit down, dummy.” Hinata speaks again. He whips out his hand and clamps it down around his wrist. The touch sends shockwaves up his arm. Hinata drags his body down into the seat. 

Kageyama adjusts himself in the chair and turns to look at Hinata dumbly. The red headed boy just continues to stare forward. Kageyama looks away and bends down to his bag to pull out a notebook. He grabs a pen too and places them on the small desk. 

More students file into the lecture hall and the seats around him fill up. He’s glad he got here early. Soon after, the professor walks in and starts pulling up the lecture. He watches as Hinata bends over to grab his own notebook. His hand scrambles around in the bag for a little while before Hinata drops it back to the floor with a sigh. Kageyama snaps his eyes away so it doesn’t seem like he was staring. 

Hinata begrudgingly turns to him. “Do you have a pencil I can borrow?” Kageyama looks at him in shock. This is the most words he’s spoken to him in weeks. Add to the fact that Hinata was finally okay with touching him again. 

“Uh no, sorry. I only brought pens today. Do you want one?”

“Ehh no. I only like writing in pencil, but thanks though,” Hinata says and turns to the other person beside him. 

Before Kageyama can say anything else, the professor begins speaking. 

The rest of the day goes smoothly. He only had one other lecture and practice was pretty easy. It was mostly filled with introductions and the rest of the time was spent running drills to assess where everyone stood in terms of skills. Kageyama was glad. Everything still felt a little overwhelming. 

When he got back to the dorm, he took a quick shower and collapsed on his bed. It’s been an interesting day indeed. 

* * *

Kageyama doesn’t see Hinata in any of his lectures the following day. He’s slightly disappointed, but he’s glad he gets to see him at least a couple times a week. The day after, he walks into the lecture hall and decides to sit next to Hinata again. When he plops down in the seat beside him, the smaller boy doesn’t show any signs of protest. Kageyama busies himself on his phone until lecture starts. He focuses on the board, but he can hear Hinata shuffling around in his bag again. It seems like Hinata forgot a pencil again. Kageyama rolls his eyes internally. Classes started three days ago but of course, he still hasn’t gotten his life together. He was always like that in high school too. Hinata borrows a pencil again. 

When the lecture ends, Hinata quickly scurries out of the room before Kageyama can speak to him. He pouts and collects his things. He exits the building and starts walking across campus. He still has a little time before his next lecture. 

Kageyama decides to stop in university store to take a look around. He’s browsing through a few school sweatshirts when he hears someone walk up behind him. He turns to see Akaashi softly smiling at him with his hands shoved in his hoodie pocket. 

“Hey, Kageyama. I didn’t know you go here.” 

“Hi, Akaashi-san and yeah, I just started.” 

“You can just call me Akaashi. We’re not in high school anymore,” the boy says with the same smile. Kageyama nods. “How’re you liking it so far?”

“Well, the courses are a lot of work already, but everything else is fine. The food isn’t too bad either.” 

“Yeah, it could definitely be worse. Also, what’s your major?”

“Oh, sports science. You?”

“Physics.”

“Oof,” Kageyama says with disdain. 

“Yeah.. it’s pretty rough. I think I’m handling it well though.”

“That’s good.” 

“Mhm. I think you may have to take a physics course at some point for sports science. Let me know if you ever need help.”

“Okay, I will. Thanks, Akaashi.” Kageyama responds with a small smile. Akaashi looks down at his duffle. 

“Yeah, of course. By the way, are you on the volleyball team here?”

“Yeah, they gave me a scholarship.” 

“That’s really great. I’ve heard Hinata is here too.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah he is.”

“That’s cool. I’ll definitely come out and try to see one of your games then. I have to go though. Class is starting soon.” Kageyama nods and waves as he leaves. Akaashi waves back. He’s surprised he ran into him here of all places. 

* * *

Practice gradually becomes more intense as the days go by. Kageyama revels in the feeling of conditioning his body again. He wants to get back in shape for the season and prepare for his first match in March. He knows Yoshida will be there and he doesn’t want to let him down again. He tries his best to stay motivated in class and practice. It’s hard though when he’s so exhausted all the time. It feels like the only thing keeping him going is the knowledge that he’ll see Hinata again, even if it’s only for fifty minutes and they hardly speak a word to each other in that time. He’s taking what he can get for right now. 

Kageyama rushes into the lecture hall with five minutes to spare. He slept through his first alarm that morning. It was only the first week and he was already slipping up. He jogs up the stairs and sits down. 

Hinata is reading over his notes from their last lecture and reaches for his bag. Kageyama perks up in his seat and reaches for his own bag. 

When he sees that Hinata’s search turns up fruitless, he pulls a small package out. 

“Um.. I noticed you keep forgetting your pencil so I got you these. Here, idiot.” Kageyama says without making eye contact. He shoves it at him. Hinata doesn’t say anything for a second and then bursts out laughing. The light sound echoes through his mind. He whips his head up to look at him. 

Hinata is looking at him and laughing behind his hand. His laughter died down and turns into a trickle of giggles. 

“You didn’t need to do that. I appreciate it though. I always leave my pencil case on my desk.” Hinata reaches his hand out to take it. Kageyama stares at him with wide eyes and releases the package from his grasp. All he can muster out is a nod. He hasn’t heard him laugh in so long. “Thank you, Kageyama.” Hinata says and gives him a genuine smile. It makes his heart spasm. I missed you he wants to say. 

Still, Hinata is smiling. He’s smiling at him. It feels like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooo! again, i apologize for the delay in posting chapters recently. i’ve been watching a bunch of kdramas and it’s so hard to focus and write at the same time. if anyone watches true beauty please comment because i’ve become obsessed with it. i’ve also just been trying to enjoy my last few weeks of break and have some other responsibilities. still, i’ll try to get the next update out very soon! i want to progress the story some more. leave your thoughts!! <3 - daisy


	22. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee runs and broken hearts.

Despite the turbulence that has wrecked their friendship, Kageyama is still in love with him. He feels it when he steals glances at Hinata’s concentrated face taking notes. He feels it when he sees him chewing on the end of his pencils. He feels it when he sees him scrunch his brow at a confusing topic. 

It takes him back to calc class in high school all over again. It’s the reason they even became so close in the first place. That first study session they had together. 

He savors every minute he gets to spend near him. On the team, it’s different. They’re split up in drills and practice matches. Hinata isn’t a starting middle blocker yet. He’s been benched in favor of the upperclassmen, while Kageyama is the starting setter.  Their time together on the court has all but disappeared. It feels strange not playing with Hinata by his side. 

Outside of volleyball, he hasn’t seen much of him either. Hinata still insists on zipping out of the room as soon as lecture ends.  He also only ever texts Kageyama when it’s something about the team or class. 

So, he’s practically back to square one. Sitting next to him is better than nothing though. At this point, he’s taking whatever he can get. He feels pathetic. 

He’s chasing after someone who barely even acknowledges his presence anymore. He figures that he’s lucky to even exchange a few words with him every now and then. 

Each lecture, Kageyama goes back and forth between wanting to spill his guts to Hinata and simply giving up. He knows he can’t do either, so he just sits and clings onto every second they get together. 

In the dim lights of the lecture hall, he’ll focus on appreciating the long ginger lashes that adorn Hinata’s eyes. They’re bright and attentive to the screen at the front. Kageyama only allows himself to look over every ten minutes. 

Other days, he’ll glide his eyes along the curve of his jaw line. It’s become more defined as they’ve grown into adulthood. He watches him swallow and lean his head on his hand. The sharp bones become more prominent and show off his pretty facial structure. 

The worst days are when he glances below his jaw. Kageyama tries so hard not to notice the bare neck that’s exposed from his loose sweaters. The creamy skin is pale and littered in tiny freckles. He sees collar bones poking out at the base of his neck. He tingles with the urge to touch. Each time he catches himself staring, he bites his lip and forces himself to rip his gaze away. If Hinata notices, he doesn’t say anything. He really hopes he doesn’t catch on. He’s barely hanging onto the few seconds he’s allowed to adore him. 

At night, he’ll think about how close they were sitting in class. Some days Hinata will pull his leg underneath him and lean in his seat towards Kageyama’s side. He’ll lean his arm on his hand as he sits. 

It makes him want to lean his head againstHinata’s. The fluffy head of hair is so close. He just wants to cuddle against it. 

It makes him feel pitiful. On those lonely nights, Kageyama curls around his body pillow and imagines a vanilla scent and warm bed sheets. It both lulls him to sleep and stabs at his heart. 

* * *

As it turns out, he’s not doing so hot in his classes. No one is surprised, including him. He’s managed to squeeze by in psychology, as well as his other classes, but chemistry is majorly kicking his ass. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t know anyone in the class either. 

He’s been putting off asking for help for a few days now, but with their first exam approaching, he can’t wait any longer. Kageyama finally caves and decides to drop into his TA’s office hours. 

When he walks by after class, he spots Akaashi at a small table in the classroom arranging papers. He breathes out a sigh of relief. It’s already embarrassing enough that he’s failing the class, he doesn’t need some snooty pre-med judging him. At least Akaashi already knows his grades suck.

Kageyama strolls in the door and walks up to the table. There weren’t any other students there. Yet another blessing the universe has bestowed on him today. 

“Hi Akaashi-san. I’m.. uh.. here for office hours.” Akaashi looks up at him and smiles. 

“Oh, hey Kageyama and I told you you can just call me Akaashi,” the boy says and looks back down at his pile of papers. 

“Right,” he says and rocks on his feet. He looks around the room and wrings his hands on his bag strap. He’s never been to one of these. 

Akaashi looks at him after a few seconds. “You can grab a chair. I can answer any questions in a sec.” 

“Oh yeah.” Kageyama responds and scrambles to grab a seat. He starts pulling out his notes from lecture. He sets them on his lap and fiddles with his fingers as he waits. He’s not surprised Akaashi is a TA. The boy always looks so tired and stressed. Add to the fact that he’s always been extremely intelligent. He could tell from the sharp gaze in his blue eyes. He seems to stay in the background and analyzes everything around him. 

Kageyama admires him. He wishes he could be more attentive like him. He tends to be a little oblivious. It might be one of the reasons he’s doing so poorly in this class he thinks. 

Akaashi marks the last page of an exam before flipping it over and pushing it to the side. He caps his pen and looks up at him. Kageyama flinches internally. He probably should’ve prepared a question while he was sitting there. 

“So, what did you need help with?” The older boy asks. 

“Well.. uh... I’m not really sure what I’m stuck on. I just know I’m confused,” he says and rubs at the back of his neck. 

Akaashi chuckles. “That’s okay. Why don’t we go over what you know so far and then review stuff you’re struggling with?” 

Kageyama nods and flips through the pages of his notebook.

An hour later, Kageyama is practically all caught up. There were still some topics he had to review to fully prepare for the exam, but he felt much better about the material than when he came in. He didn’t doubt Akaashi’s abilities, but he wasn’t expecting it to be so helpful. Akaashi is extremely patient and logical. He was able to identify what was causing him issues before he even figured it out himself. 

His problem solving skills are also astonishing. He’s able to explain a topic and solution in various ways, which helped him immensely. The professor is very detailed and sometimes her explanations causes more confusion. Akaashi’s method broke down the work for him. 

He feels like he might cry. It truly felt like a miracle. He thinks he may actually understand what’s going on in class now. He’s probably going to fail the exam anyway because his test taking skills suck but still. 

They both begin packing up their stuff to leave for the day. Kageyama thanked him several times already, but he tacked an extra one on for safe measure. Akaashi insisted it wasn’t a problem and tells him that he’s free to text him if he needs anymore help. 

As he gets up to leave the room, Akaashi stands and begins to walk out too. They walk side by side until they reach the door. 

“Hey, Kageyama.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have any classes for the rest of the day?”

“No. I just have practice later. Why?”

“I was about to grab coffee from the cafe on campus. Have you ever been there?”

Kageyama thinks over all the places he’s stopped at since he’s moved in. “No. I don’t think so. Is it any good?”

“Yeah, actually. I think you’d like it. Wanna come along?” Kageyama gapes for a second before quickly nodding his head. He still gets surprised when people are so friendly. He walks alongside the boy until they reach a small shop by his dorm building. 

When they step inside, Kageyama is overwhelmed by the scent of coffee beans and pastries. He inhales deeply and looks around. It’s cozy and there’s a long bench that lines the wall. There are students spread out around the cafe with laptops and notebooks. It seems like a really nice spot for studying. He makes a mental note to stop by for coffee before classes or escape from his room if Shiro is being too loud. 

Akaashi leads the way up to the counter and places his order for a medium Americano and a bagel. Kageyama’s eyes dart around the small hanging menu in an effort to figure out his order before it’s his turn. 

The cashier turns to him expectantly. Kageyama panics in his head and orders an iced coffee. He pulls his wallet out to pay for it, but Akaashi cuts in. 

“I‘ll pay. I invited you.” Kageyama stands there stunned for a second before pulling his hand away and shoving his wallet back in his pocket. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles. Akaashi just nods. They both move to the side as the barista starts preparing their drinks. Kageyama squints at the boy behind the machine for a second. He recognizes that spiked up hair. He sees toned arms moving around behind the counter. He moves his head to the side to get a better view of the person.

His eyes widen for a second. That’s definitely Iwaizumi making his iced coffee. Kageyama stares. Iwaizumi looks up from putting the lid on his drink and locks eyes with him. 

The boy tilts his head. “Kageyama. Didn’t know you go here,” he says in a monotone voice. 

“Uh, yeah.. It’s my first year.” The brunette just nods and goes back to fiddling with the machines. Kageyama cringes and looks away. It seems like more and more people he knows just keep popping up. 

He looks over at Akaashi who’s tapping away on his phone screen. He’s dressed nicely for a regular school day when compared to him. Kageyama has been wearing sweats and hoodies to class since the semester began. It makes him want to start planning more outfits for class. 

When their drinks are ready, Akaashi grabs them and starts heading for a table. Kageyama quickly follows behind. He wasn’t sure if they were just getting drinks to go or sitting down for a while. It seems like the latter. 

Kageyama settles into a seat across from Akaashi. They don’t speak for the first few minutes. The older boy simply unwraps his food and starts taking small bites. Kageyama decides to just go with it and takes his first sip of the coffee. He raises his eyebrows. It’s surprisingly good. It’s not too sweet but also not too strong either. He almost wishes he added something to it like vanilla cream or caramel. He decides to try that out next time. 

“So, what do you think?” Akaashi asks.

“It’s pretty good. I think I’ll come back.”

Akaashi nods and smiles softly. He runs a hand through his tousled black hair. “You should try their tarts next time. That’s what I usually get, but I was hungry today. Haven’t eaten at all.” He leans back in his seat and yawns. 

Kageyama raises his eyebrows. “Why’s that?”

Akaashi sighs and leans on the table. “I’ve just been overwhelmed with school work and stuff. It’s been getting more hectic since midterms season is coming up.”

Kageyama nods. “Makes sense, honestly. I don’t think I could handle all that work. I don’t know how you do it.”

Akaashi chuckles. “I don’t know either to be honest. I’ll manage though. It could be worse. It must be hard focusing on school and volleyball.” 

“Ahh yeah. I’m always really tired after classes and practice. It sucks going back to the dorm just to cram studying in.” Kageyama sighs and runs a hand through his hair. 

“Yeah, college is rough like that.”

“True. So, other than school work, what do you do?” Kageyama asks and stirs his drink with his straw.

“I don’t get to do much these days to be honest. I’ve started learning how to cook though, since I live in an apartment. It’s nice making my own food and I save money.”

“Oh, that sounds really nice. I’ve been getting tired of dining hall food lately.”

“Yeah, it is but it can get kind of boring when you only cook for yourself.”

Kageyama doesn’t know how to respond. He just nods. They sit in silence for a few seconds while they sip on their drinks. The sound of keyboards clicking and pencils scribbling fill his ears. 

“If you ever want to eat something other than bland food, you can always stop by and try some of my food. It’s not anything special, but it could be nice to switch it up a little,” Akaashi says.

Kageyama is momentarily stunned. He didn’t know Akaashi was comfortable enough around him to invite him over to his apartment. Are they friends now? Kageyama’s mind is buzzing as he realizes he still hasn’t responded. Akaashi just stares at him with a blank face. 

“Oh! Uh- yeah, sure. That would be cool.” 

Akaashi just nods and finishes off the rest of his coffee. He starts gathering up his trash. Kageyama does the same and stands up. Akaashi follows suit. 

They toss their cups in the garbage and head towards the door. They stop outside of the cafe. 

“Thanks for showing me this place,” Kageyama says and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, I’m glad you liked it. I gotta get back to all these exams. See ya around.” Akaashi says and gives him a small wave. He turns away and starts walking towards the other side of campus. 

“See ya.” Kageyama calls after him. He’s not sure if he has another friend now, but he can’t say he minds either. 

* * *

After days of mentally preparing himself and chickening out, Kageyama decides today is the day. He’s gonna get his shit together and just come out and ask. It can’t be that bad, right? 

He gets to class as early as he can and settles into his self assigned seat. He looks around for Hinata’s bright head of hair. He takes a deep breath and steadies himself. The worst he can say is no. He’ll just ask him casually and then go on his phone if it gets awkward. If it goes really bad then he’ll just move seats. It’s a big lecture hall. He won’t even have to see him if he sits far enough. 

He grips the pen in his hand and lets out another breath. He can do this. Yeah. He’s got it. 

He’s suddenly shaken from his thoughts when Hinata drops himself into the seat beside him. Kageyama jumps. He fumbles with his pen and it flies out of his grasp. He lurches forward to grab at the pen. Once he regains his hold on it, he slowly leans back in his seat. 

Hinata is giving him a weird look out of the corner of his eye. Kageyama smacks himself internally. This is off to a great start. It’s fine though. He’s just gonna ask. 

He mentally prepares the question in his head and clears his throat. He’s practiced this a thousand times in his head already. He just has to get the words out. 

When he turns to Hinata, the boy is sitting with his legs pulled underneath him and scrolling on his phone. Shit. Maybe it can just wait until next class. He looks busy. It’s not a big deal. He can just wait. 

Kageyama catches himself though. Hinata looks busy every class. He should just ask and then he can go back to whatever he’s doing. Kageyama places the pen down on his desk and awkwardly shifts his body in his seat so he’s slightly turned towards the short boy. He clears his throat again. 

Hinata looks up this time.

“Hinata,” he blurts out. The boy lifts his eyebrows and stares him in the eyes. 

Kageyama chokes on his spit and coughs to clear his throat again. 

“I.. um.. you.. cafe..?” Damn it. He fucked that up tremendously. 

“What..?”

“I-“ Kageyama stops and swallows. “I.. um.. went to this new cafe on campus the other day.” Kageyama mumbles. 

“Oh.. uh.. that’s nice?” He responds. 

“Yeah and uh, I was wondering.. I mean if you’re not busy.. if you wanted to get some coffee or something after class? You know? Like we used to?” 

Hinata doesn’t respond right away. He just looks between Kageyama’s eyes. He opens his mouth to speak. 

Kageyama panics and interrupts. “I mean of course you don’t have to. You’re probably not hungry anyway. Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked.” Hinata smiles awkwardly. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m not today. Sorry.” 

His heart breaks. Kageyama just nods his head and turns away. He slumps in his seat and tries his best not to turn around. He’s not sure why he thought that would work. Maybe it’s because Hinata seems more comfortable around him now. He couldn’t deny that he still seems distant though. 

Kageyama sighs and focuses his eyes towards the front. The professor walks in a few minutes later. 

* * *

It’s been a few days since he asked Hinata to go to the cafe, but he still hasn’t moved seats. He doesn’t have it in him to do so. It’s the only time he gets to be near Hinata and he just can’t give it up, no matter how awkward it is. 

He tries not to linger on it for too long, but it still hurts. He feels like he took their hangouts for granted. Back then, trips to the cafe were just a part of their routine. Now, he can’t even get Hinata to go with him once. 

He’s grateful that he’s been getting closer with Akaashi though. With a week left before his chemistry exam, Kageyama has stopped by office hours more and more. It forces him to study and focus on his problem areas, but he also gets to spend time with Akaashi. He’s nice to be around. He always has a calm energy about him that makes Kageyama feel at ease. 

He feels like they have a lot in common, other than being setters. They’re both introverted and quiet. They listen to similar music when they study and they like horror movies. He’s not sure why he’s always liked them, but they’re entertaining at the least and keep his attention. 

It feels like spending time with him fills some of the void left behind by Hinata. It’s not exactly the same, but it makes him feel better. 

He’s also made it a habit to bring Akaashi small snacks like granola bars when he comes to office hours. He knows that he hardly ever takes a second to eat. He needs the food and Kageyama has a surplus of snacks stocked up in his room. His mom went a little overboard when she packed. 

They’re wrapping up their study session when Kageyama suddenly looks at Akaashi. At least he knows he’ll say yes. 

“Wanna stop by the cafe?”

“Sure.” Akaashi says. 

They walk across campus to the little shop. Kageyama walks in first. His eyes scan around the shop. Iwaizumi is usually there. They’ve even started having small conversations since he comes here so often. He isn’t here today though. 

Instead, he spots a head of blonde and black hair. Kenma is arranging some cups by the espresso machine. He spots another person near the counter. 

The orange head of hair is leaning over it and watching Kenma work. Kageyama feels his heart speed up. He didn’t expect to run into him here. He watches as the two boys chat. 

He feels his stomach turn. The bitter feeling is eating him up. After all the stress he put himself through to invite him here, Hinata turns him down just to show up here with Kenma. 

“You wanna go order?” Akaashi asks and taps him on the shoulder. Kageyama nods his head and walks towards the register. He orders his usual iced coffee with vanilla cream and the tart Akaashi recommended. They both prefer the strawberry one. He glances over at Hinata when he’s done. I t doesn’t seem like he’s noticed him yet. 

Akaashi orders after him. They both move to the side to wait for their food. Hinata finally looks away from Kenma. They lock eyes and stare. Hinata is the first one to look away and he suddenly stops speaking. He awkwardly leans against the counter with his head turned the other way. 

Kageyama scowls. He’s so sick of this shit. He just wants to leave. 

“Hey, are you hungry? I’m kind of hungry,” he says and turns towards Akaashi. The boy raises his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Yeah, that granola bar didn’t do much. Did you want actual food?” The older boy asks.

“Yeah, honestly.”

“I can make dinner tonight if you want. We can watch the new Annabelle too. I need a break from my work.” Akaashi says. 

Kageyama nods excitedly. He’s been wanting to watch it but hasn’t had the time to with exams. He figures he probably deserves a break too considering it’s a Friday night. 

“Yeah, I’m down. Let’s do it.” He responds. 

Hinata has turned his head back around now. His eyebrows are scrunched. Kageyama glances at him briefly and turns away. The red head still hasn’t spoken a word since he noticed him here. 

As the drinks are placed on the counter, Kageyama grabs both of their drinks. Akaashi grabs their pastries and they head towards the door. Kageyama doesn’t look back. 

* * *

Kageyama thinks he should’ve taken Akaashi up on his offer of home cooked meals sooner. He’s been scarfing down the same couple of foods for the past month. He didn’t realize how much he needed something different. 

Kageyama practiced some problem sets while Akaashi cooked them chili oil noodles. It was spicy, but still manageable. The chili added to the flavor and he could taste some garlic in there too. He missed eating fresh food. 

They both shoveled down their dinner with Annabelle playing on the TV screen. 

“This is so good.” Kageyama says with a mouthful of noodles. He chokes and coughs. Akaashi laughs and hands him a napkin and glass of water. 

Kageyama accepts it with tears in his eyes. He gulps it down. As he regains his breath, he stills for a moment. That’s the first time he’s ever heard him actually laugh. It’s a soft sound that bounces around his head. 

Kageyama smiles at him and goes back to eating the rest in embarrassment.  Akaashi gets up and heads back into the kitchen with their empty bowls. 

“Hey, I know you’re not old enough technically, but do you want a beer or anything?”

Kageyama mulls over the question. He’s never drank any alcohol in his life, but this wasn’t the worst situation to try. It’s a Friday night and he doesn’t have anything better to do. Plus, he’s in college now. 

“Sure,” he replies. 

Akaashi brings out a couple of cans of beer and settles back into the couch. Kageyama pops the tab and sniffs at the contents. He raises the can to his lips and takes a small sip. 

Akaashi watches him swallow the first gulp. Kageyama grimaces and Akaashi laughs again. 

“Is this your first drink?”

“Uh.. yeah..” He says and scratches at the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I thought it would taste like.”

“I was the same way. It’s not as bad after a while though.” Akaashi says. Kageyama nods and tries another sip. It’s not awful, but it’s not great either. He continues drinking the rest of it as the movie plays. By the middle of the movie, he finished the first can. Akaashi offers him another one and he decides to just go with it. He’s still annoyed about earlier and he just wants it to go away. Akaashi has already finished a few cans by the time he starts his second one. 

As the movie ends, Kageyama is starting on his third one. He drinks it and sighs. He lays his head on the back of the couch as the credits roll. 

“You feeling okay?” Akaashi asks with concern in his eyes. 

“Yeah.. I’m alright.”

“You sure? You seemed upset today at the cafe.” Kageyama is surprised he noticed. 

“Oh kind of. It wasn’t a big deal though,” he says.

“Really? It kind of seemed like it. I was hoping eating some food would help.”

“Oh, yeah it did. The beer is helping too.. I’m just lonely.” 

The apartment is silent except for the TV. Did he really just say that? He didn’t mean to but it slipped from his mouth before he could think about it. 

“How so?” 

Kageyama cringes. He feels like he already admitted too much. He has no control right now. He might as well just spill the rest. Akaashi isn’t the type to share people’s secrets anyway.

”Because all I ever do is practice and show up for class. I hardly ever talk to anyone. I feel like I’m barely there. 

I hide away in my dorm all weekend and I never go out. I never have plans and no one ever wants to see me.  Sometimes I’ll think about texting people, but I just don’t want to bother them,” he says. 

Akaashi looks at him in confusion. “You can always text me? We can hang out like this again.” 

Kageyama smiles slightly. “That’s true, but we never even hung out until today.” 

The older boy nods in understanding. “So, that’s what’s bothering you?”

”Partially. It’s just that.. I  barely know anyone other than you. There are a few people from high school, but it’s not like we’re friends. The only person I have is Hinata,” he says. 

“Isn’t that enough? You only need a few people who actually care for you,” Akaashi says. 

”No, that’s the problem. He doesn’t care about me.”

”What do you mean?”

“I.. I’m in love with Hinata and he hates me.” Kageyama says and proceeds to clamp his mouth shut. He crushes the empty can in his hand. He finally said it out loud. The emotions from all of these years swirl together. 

Akaashi is silent for a moment. He frowns. “I see.. Why does he hate you?”

“Ugh. God, I don’t even know that’s the thing.” Kageyama tosses the empty can on the table. “ I need more beer if I’m gonna talk about this.” 

Akaashi nods again. “Feel free. I have more in the fridge.” Kageyama nods in return. “So, what happened then?”

“Well, like I said, I have no idea. We were so close in high school and then one day he just shut down. He stopped talking to me. We stopped hanging out and he refused to be near me. It’s been like that for months. We just didn’t sync anymore after that. 

We played like shit at spring interhigh and then I lost my spot on my dream team. I got a contract to join a pro team after high school if I did well at nationals and we never even made it there. Now I’m at this college trying to prove myself for a spot on the team that I may not even get. 

My dad is always on my ass about it and my grades suck. He probably thinks I’m gonna fuck up again. Everyone says I’m a genius in volleyball, but I can’t even get into the game anymore. My shoulder is all fucked up from an injury and I’m just so lost. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Kageyama let’s out a deep breath as he finishes his rant. Akaashi’s eyes flicker over his face. He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. He clears his throat and turns towards him. 

“Well, fuck them then,” he states.

Kageyama raises his eyebrows and turns to him. 

Akaashi pauses and then speaks again, “You’re smarter and more talented than you think, Kageyama. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. All you can do is try your best and keep pushing forward. You’re already doing that. You came to me for help, you study, you go to practice, you’re doing everything you can. You can’t blame yourself for making a mistake every once and a while. You’re human too.   
So what if you fucked up? I don’t know anyone that can say they haven’t messed up at least once in their life. Stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault that Hinata pulled away or that your parents or that team can’t see your potential. It’s not your fault that college is hard and it’s not always easy to make new friends.   
I saw you in high school. You’re a monster on the court. I know you’re gonna make it to wherever it is that you want to go. Just focus on your future and leave all of that behind. Everything else will fall into place and in the meantime, I’ll be here for you.” Akaashi whispers the last part of his sentence. He reaches his hand out and lays it on top of Kageyama’s. 

He resists the instinct to pull away and let’s him rest it there. He embraces the warmth that comes with it. It’s been so long since he’s felt someone else’s touch. 

Kageyama nibbles on his lip. “But I still can’t let him go,” he says. Akaashi gives him a look to continue speaking. 

“I just.. I was so scared to lose him. So, I asked my coach to consider Hinata for the team and now he’s here. Yet, he wants nothing to do with me.  One day we’re sneaking out together and the next he tells me to get away from him. 

I thought I had a chance with him eventually, but now he can hardly stand speaking to me. I thought things were getting better though. We sit next to each other in one class and he seems less antsy around me now. I thought this was our chance to reconnect. So, I took a risk and asked him to get coffee. He turned me down and then showed up at the cafe with Kenma. Now I’m pissed and I have no idea why.” Kageyama says and finishes off his rant. 

Akaashi takes a swig from his beer before speaking, “You’re pissed because you’re jealous.”

Kageyama scoffs. “I don’t get jealous, especially over Hinata.”

Akaashi raises an eyebrow at him. Apparently he’s unimpressed. “The face you were making says differently. It’s okay to admit that you felt that way. Honestly, your situation with Hinata sucks and I wish I understood why he was acting like that. It’s not fair to you.” 

“Yeah, me too but why would I even be jealous?”

Akaashi gives him a pointed stare. “Because someone else is taking him away from you. It’s hard to love someone and watch them slip away.” 

“Yeah, it is.” Kageyama sighs again and feels his heart clench. Akaashi rubs his thumb across the back of his hand.  He’s not sure what urged him to ask but he blurts it out anyway.  “Akaashi, do you love someone?” 

Akaashi looks away from him and smiles sadly. “Yeah, sort of.”

“You know you can tell me. I just spilled my guts to you. Might as well do the same.” 

“I probably shouldn’t but I’m drunk and I don’t have the energy to care.” Kageyama nods along. “Well, I’m kind of in the same position as you. I was in love with Bokuto. I probably still am. We dated in our third year and everything was going really well, but then things changed. You know how Bokuto can get sometimes. He fell apart under the stress of deciding between his career and me. He kept agonizing over it and we both knew long distance wouldn’t work. We didn’t want it to end either though. We were stuck.

So, I made the decision for him. It was for the best. We broke up. I didn’t want to hold him back. Ever since then, I think he’s resented me. He probably thinks I don’t care about him but it’s because I do that I had to make a choice. He deserves to follow his dreams. 

He’s done just that. He’s in the V.League now and I’m at school. I’ve thrown myself into drowning in work so that I don’t have to think about it. We hardly ever speak and I can’t help but miss him sometimes. I can’t help but think about what we could’ve been. Some days, I think I made a mistake. Other days, I think I was just doing what’s best for him.”

Kageyama nods as he listens. His heart aches for him. The situation hits too close to home. Hinata would’ve been in the same position if things would’ve worked out between them. Kageyama knows he has to leave eventually. Maybe it’s better this way he thinks, with Hinata drifting away. Maybe he can move on. 

“Life sucks,” Kageyama says. Akaashi nods. “It’s not your fault either. Don’t blame yourself. You were just trying to make him happy.” Akaashi sighs but nods again. Kageyama continues, “It doesn’t make it easy though. I wish things were simpler. Maybe in another life we wouldn’t have to wonder and make hard decisions. The people we love could love us back without complications.”

“I fucking wish.” Akaashi says and chugs the rest of his drink. They’re both utterly trashed by now. Kageyama turns his hand over and drags his finger tips across Akaashi’s palm. 

“I just want the pain to stop,” Kageyama whispers.

”I know,” Akaashi whispers back.

They sit in silence until Akaashi’s low voice cuts through the air, “I think I’m lonely too.” 

Kageyama turns his head to look at Akaashi’s face. It’s slightly flushed from drinking so much. _Pretty_. 

He didn’t realize how close they were sitting on the couch. Akaashi’s curls tickle against his forehead. His face is only an inch away from him now, as blue eyes stare back into his own. Hot breaths spread across his face. Kageyama just wants to feel okay again. 

Their lips collide. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all i have to say is i’m sorry. i had to do it to em. also peep the in another life reference. - daisy


	23. Shiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roommates and feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i changed some stuff in the last scene with akaashi leading up to the kiss in the previous chapter. if you read it when i first posted it, you may want to check the fixed version. <3

As soon as their lips connect, a gasp escapes from Kageyama. He resists the instinct to immediately pull away and he feels Akaashi’s lips curl lightly. The kiss is soft and slow. They barely move at first and simply press together. 

His mind is in disarray. It’s his first kiss and with a boy at that. His thoughts race to catch up. He’s kissing Akaashi and he’s kissing him back. Kageyama tries to keep up and moves his lips too. He fumbles at first but presses gently against him in return.

They progress somewhat hesitantly as Akaashi’s closed lips eventually push and shift against his. He turns his head so they slot together easily. His hand remains intertwined with Akaashi’s. 

He’s not sure how he thought it would feel, but he doesn’t mind it either. His body tingles with anticipation and excitement. He decides not to think and just let it happen. He just wants to forget. Akaashi leads him through it and turns his body to curl an arm around his neck. His hand plays with the short strands of hair at the base of his neck.Kageyama feels like his body is shaking. He’s lost on what to do with his own hands, but decides to squeeze the boys hand. Akaashi takes it as a sign to continue what they’re doing. He pulls his hand out of Kageyama’s grasp and gently pushes his shoulder back. 

Kageyama let’s his body fall backwards into the plush couch. Akaashi shifts so he’s on top of him with legs on both either sides of his hips. His weight presses into him and he deepens the kiss. It becomes more intense as their lips slide against each other. Akaashi’s other hand is still on his neck and wanders down to caress the base of it. Deft fingers sweep across his collarbone. They move lower to his chest as his hand slowly rubs across it. 

Kageyama holds back the sound that wants to escape from his throat. Instead, he moves his hand to tightly grip Akaashi’s hip. He pulls him closer and jerks at the contact. He’s never been touched like this before outside of his own imagination. He can’t believe it’s actually happening and the thought almost makes him release a throaty whine. Akaashi takes the opportunity to swipe his tongue against his lips. The wet spit spreads across them. Kageyama slows down his movements. He doesn’t know how to respond to the feeling. Akaashi does it again and this time Kageyama slightly parts his lips to the probing tongue. It pushes into his mouth. Kageyama gasps again. It feels hot against his own and and sends shockwaves through his body. He chases after the feeling and tries to copy the movement. 

His heart is racing in his chest but everything feels so good right now. He pushes his tongue more fervently into the boys mouth. The kiss becomes sloppier, but Kageyama can’t find it in himself to care. His hand slides from his hip and rubs up his back before moving up to his hair. It feels soft and he runs his fingers through it. Akaashi moans into his mouth. It makes his heart jump and his body heats up. He’s not sure what he’s doing, but he can’t help the urge to feel more of him. Akaashi responds by sliding his hand farther down his body and begins massaging up and down his abdomen. Kageyama groans and pushes his body against the hand. The contact scorches his skin and he wants more. Akaashi pushes himself closer and the taller boy can barely hold back a whimper. His body feels like it’s burning. He’s never been this close to somebody before and it feels like he’s spinning out of control.

The contact suddenly reminds him of his dream of Hinata. He’s dreamt of those hands roaming all over his body so many times since then. His heart speeds up and Kageyama screws his eyes shut tighter. Why is he thinking about this right now? His breathing feels off rhythm. 

Akaashi pushes his lips against his again before pulling away. His face is still only a few inches away from Kageyama’s. Their short breaths come out in pants and feel hot against his skin. Akaashi’s hair is a mess. It’s ruffled in all directions and his lips look slightly puffy. There’s also a slight flush to his cheeks. The blue grey shade of his eyes look darker and his pupils are blown wide. Kageyama figures that he’s probably in a similar state. 

“You okay? Is this too much?” Akaashi asks with concern.

Kageyama quickly shakes his head. His brain still doesn’t feel like it’s functioning. He can’t put together words right now. They stare at each other in silence for a few seconds until Akaashi whispers to him.

“Is this.. your first kiss?” His face looks open and genuine. 

Kageyama’s eyes widen and he feels heat rise to his cheeks. He pulls his eyes away and covers the lower half of his face. 

“Yes.. sorry if I’m not good at this” He mumbles from behind his hand. His lips are still tingling and his body is singing with the urge to feel more. 

“Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure and don’t worry about that. I just wanted to make sure you feel comfortable. I won’t push you to do more if you don’t want to, especially since we drank.” Kageyama just nods and blushes again. “Was that okay for you? I’m sorry if you felt overwhelmed. I hope I didn’t push you too far,” Akaashi says.

“Y-yeah, it was okay.. I-I think I liked it,” he responds. Akaashi’s eyes crinkle as he breaks into a smile. A small laugh escapes from his lips and he pulls Kageyama’s hand away from his face. His eyes roam across it for a few seconds. Kageyama feels himself blushing harder. 

“I’m glad I didn’t make your first kiss horrible. I probably should’ve asked before kissing you though.”

Kageyama shakes his head and buries his face in Akaashi’s shoulder. He smells like warm spice and citrus. 

“It’s okay,” he mumbles. Akaashi hums and caresses the side of his face. His fingers move along his jaw and pulls his head back so they’re face to face. He leans down and places a kiss on his cheek before pulling back.

Kageyama’s heart beats faster and he lets a small smile slip. Akaashi is so unbelievably pretty. The eyes behind those long lashes stare into his own. Their sharp slant compliments his high cheekbones. He glides his eyes along the slope of his nose and moves down to his lips. They’re full with a defined cupid’s bow. His dark hair surrounds his face in a halo and contrasts with the light shade of his eyes and pale skin. He almost looks ethereal in the dim light. His gaze is calm and wistful. Kageyama is still surprised someone as attractive as Akaashi would want to kiss him. 

They lay close together for a few minutes. Akaashi peppers small kisses and nips along the line of his jaw. Kageyama breathes out a content sigh. He lets his hands roam across the plain of Akaashi’s back and side. He allows himself to venture further and slides from his stomach up to his chest. His hand feels hot even without touching his skin. 

After a few more minutes, Akaashi plants a final kiss on his forehead before pulling away. He sits up and puts his hand out to pull Kageyama up too. When he’s in an upright position, they both rearrange their clothes and sit in silence. 

“I liked that too,” Akaashi says and glances at him out of the corner of his eyes. The heat returns to his cheeks for a second, but Kageyama nods anyway. 

“Thanks for coming over. It was nice spending time with you and I really needed that break.”

“Thanks for hanging out with me and listening to my problems,” Kageyama says and shifts in his seat.

Akaashi nods and leans forward to stack the dishes on the table. “Of course. I’m here any time you need me”, he says and stands up from his seat. He brings them to the kitchen. His words make his head spin a little, but Kageyama grabs the stray pieces of trash and collects the empty cans. He follows him to the kitchen and tosses them in the trash and recycling bin. Akaashi is washing some dishes in the sink. 

“Do you need any help?” He asks.

Akaashi shakes his head. “No, I got it. You’re the guest here and you need a break too. I might take you up on your offer next time though.”

Kageyama nods but feels his heart warm at the thought. Akaashi said it as though he’s okay with hanging out like this again even after all of that. For his first kiss, it was surprisingly pleasant. Akaashi was extremely careful and attentive. He guided him through it slowly. He even noticed when Kageyama started feeling flustered. Afterwards, he was completely understanding and didn’t judge him for being inexperienced. He’s glad things didn’t turn out awkward. He’s not sure where they stand exactly, but he knows he cares for Akaashi as a friend at the very least. 

He hasn’t felt this comfortable in a long time. It’s been months. Kageyama decides that he doesn’t want this to end any time soon. He wants to come over again and eat with Akaashi. The tasty food was a plus, but he really just wants to see him more. He wants to watch more horror movies even if they’re horrible and littered with jump scares. He wants to sit close to him and feel his warmth. He wants Akaashi’s calmness and the safe feeling he gets when he’s around. He wants all of it. 

A thought occurs to him then. If he comes over, will they kiss again? Kageyama feels the blush creeping up his neck. He pushes the idea away. He has no clue if Akaashi even wants that. They’re both drunk and it could’ve been all of their pent up emotions that caused it. Just because they kissed once didn’t mean it would happen again. 

Kageyama admits that it felt nice though. He feels calmer inside. The ache that has plagued him for months has eased. It feels duller now. Whether they kissed again or not wasn’t important right now. What mattered was that for a second, everything felt normal. They were both feeling lost and in that moment, it went away. Instead, he connected with someone and it brought him back. They didn’t have to think about being tired or sad. It felt like all they had to focus on was each other. 

Everything feels sweet and new. Kageyama let’s himself embrace the feeling for a little bit. He smiles to himself and glances at Akaashi. He’s glad he has him. He looks away after a few seconds so that Akaashi doesn’t catch him staring. He busies himself by pulling his phone out. His eyes slightly widen at the time.

“Hey, it’s getting pretty late. I might have to go back to my dorm soon,” he says. He’s glad practice was cancelled. He got to destress for once. 

“Oh okay, that’s fine. I’ll finish these up and I can walk you back?” Akaashi turns his head and asks. 

“Sure,” he responds. Kageyama leans against the counter as he waits. Akaashi finishes up and dries his hands off on a towel. He walks over to the hooks by the door and pulls his jacket on. Kageyama gathers his things and grabs his bag. He slides his jacket on as well and follows Akaashi to the foyer. They walk out together. Akaashi shuts the door and locks it behind him. 

They walk towards his dorm in comfortable silence. Their hangout definitely didn’t go as he expected. It felt like his emotions were all over the place throughout the night. He began the night upset over Hinata and ended it drunk and soothed by their kiss. 

His heart skips a beat. He really kissed someone and he liked it. He’s always wondered what it would feel like. He didn’t really care about this kind of stuff, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t curious. He didn’t care if it was a girl or guy. Honestly, he always imagined that Hinata would be his first kiss. The thought makes his heart sink slightly. He feels guilt for betraying Hinata like that but then again, it’s not like they’re together. Hinata wants nothing to do with him right now. It’s only fair that he lives his own life, right? Hinata probably never even liked him back. 

His thoughts are cut off as they reach the door to his building, he turns to face the other boy. Akaashi turns as well and gives him a small smile. 

“Let’s hang out again some time soon,” he says.

“Yeah. Thanks for making dinner by the way,” Kageyama responds.

“Of course. Goodnight, Kageyama.” 

“Goodnight, Akaashi.” 

When he gets up to his dorm, Shiro is sitting on his bed with a switch in his hands. His fingers toggle the joystick and smash at the buttons. 

“Yo,” Shiro says without looking up from his game. They’ve been getting closer lately. They’re not exactly friends, but they’re comfortable enough around each other considering they’re roommates.Shiro will study with him in their room and eat with him in the dining hall. They usually chat a couple times a day, but Shiro does most of the talking. That’s fine with him though.

“Hey,” Kageyama responds. He breathes out a sigh. It’s been a long day to say the least. He runs a hand through his hair and tosses his bag on his chair. 

Shiro looks up and raises his eyebrows. His face splits into a grin. 

“And where have you been mister?” Shiro probes with amusement in his voice.

“Why’re you calling me mister? We’re practically the same age.”

“Why’re you avoiding the question?” Shiro jabs back. 

“I’m not. What’re you playing?”

“Hollow Knight. Now tell me where you wentttt,” the boy whines. He pauses his game and places it on his lap. Shiro gives him puppy eyes and clasps his hands together in a pleading manor. 

Kageyama rolls his eyes. In these moments he really reminds him of Nishinoya. He’s persistent, he’ll give him that.

“Who says I went anywhere?” Kageyama mumbles.

“You hardly ever leave the dorm unless it’s with me and it’s a Friday night! You never go out on the weekends, no offense. Plus, it’s almost 1 AM, where could you have been all this time? Everything is closed.”

Kageyama curses his roommate. He knew he was smart, but he didn’t know it would be used against him. 

“I was just with a friend,” Kageyama mumbles again without making eye contact. He’s not sure what to classify Akaashi as now. He feels his cheeks heat up. 

“Oooooh a friend, hm? You sure it wasn’t a hot date? Your hair is all messed up and you look fucked out.”

Kageyama sputters and chokes on his spit. “It wasn’t a hot date and I do not look like that!” He quickly combs his fingers through his hair to try to smooth it down. He’s not sure if that was considered a date or not. His face feels like it’s on fire. 

Shiro starts laughing loudly and slaps his knee. “Oh my gosh, you totally did it tonight, didn’t you?”

“Did not!”

“Did too! Give me all the juicy details! Who is she?”

Kageyama is quiet for a second and hesitates. He’s still slightly drunk and it feels like his mouth doesn’t have a filter tonight. 

Shiro raises his eyebrows. “Or he, I don’t judge.” He says with a smile and holds up his hands. 

“It was just a friend and we didn’t do.. that.”

“Well, you obviously did something. Spill. Tell your good ol’ roommate Shiro. Maybe I can even give you advice so you can go _further_.” He says and emphasizes the last word. He starts wiggling his eyebrows. Kageyama groans and covers his face with his hand. It’s the last push he needs to confess all the details. He sits on his bed with a sigh. 

“I.. saw the person I like with someone else and I guess I got.. jealous.”

“OH HO HO! YOU LIKE SOMEONE KAGEYAMA?!”

“SHHH!” Kageyama practically yells and jumps. “Someone’s gonna hear you and it’s late. The RA’s will kick our ass.”

“My bad, my bad.” Shiro says and holds up his hands. “But why didn’t you tell me you’re into someone? I could’ve been your wingman this entire timeee,” the brunette whines. 

“Because I knew you’d react like this and also, I’m only telling you because I’m drunk now.”

“Kageyama!! I didn’t know you were a rebel! Drinking and hooking up with someone all in one night.”

“Shh and I didn’t hook up with anyone.” Kageyama says and holds a finger to his lips. 

“Uh huh. Do I know them? Is she hot? I bet she is, you’re a pretty attractive dude. Plus, you play volleyball. Are you gonna bring them back here?” Shiro rambles. Kageyama feels the blush returning. He’s not sure what to describe Hinata as. 

“It’s.. um.. a guy.” Kageyama admits. He hopes it doesn’t make him uncomfortable. 

“Oooo even better. Is he hot then?” Shiro asks and bounces up and down on the mattress.

“I guess so.. he’s sort of cute.” 

“Cute? I can totally see that since you’re grumpy sometimes. Total bad boy and soft boy vibes.”

Kageyama let’s out another groan. “I guess so.”

“I totally get it. So, why were you jealous then?”

Kageyama explains the whole high school situation and how they used to be best friends. He also goes over the cafe problem and how Hinata turned him down in class. 

“What a jerk. You should drop him, Kags. I’ll beat him up for ya! Where’s he at? I’ll come to your next class.” 

“No, no need to do that.” Kageyama says and waves his hands in front of him. “It’s fine. I guess I was a jerk sometimes too, so that’s probably why he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“You’re not a jerk. From what I’ve seen you’re super cool. You’re all serious and talented. It gives you that strong but silent vibe, truly. It’s immaculate. Chefs kiss for you,” Shiro says and does a kiss with his hand. “Or I guess your parents since they made you..” 

“Shiro, can we focus?” Kageyama interrupts him. He blushes at the compliments, but he just wants to move on from the topic. It’s embarrassing to hear about himself. 

“Yeah, but by the way, since you call me by my first name, can I call you Tobio?” Shiro asks.

“Uhh... I guess so if you want to. I don’t really care either way,” he says. 

“Oooh I see. How about Tobs? Tob? Tobi?” Shiro lists off. 

“Eh? I already told you anything is fine but if it really matters, my mom calls me Tobi.”

“Tobi it is then. Shiro and Tobi. I’m gonna kill it as your wingman. 

“Right. So anyway, I got jealous and asked to go to my friends apartment in front of him. He was staring at us the entire time and then my friend made dinner. We watched a movie and then got drunk. It got messy. I started complaining about how I feel about Hinata and then I guess.. I made out.. with my TA. 

“WHAT?” Shiro’s voices tears from his throat. It bounces around the room and Kageyama cringes. The RA’s could show up at any minute. 

“It’s not a big deal. We were both just feeling lonely.”

“No, no, no. We need to take 3 steps back. Your TA?! Oh my god. I never knew you were so wild, and he made dinner for you?! Who is this dream man? Is he hot? I bet he’s hot. Oh god, and then who started the kiss? Did you get to second base. Spill right now.”

Kageyama sighs. His body still feels like it’s buzzing from the alcohol and he just wants to lay down. “Yes, my TA. I’ve known him since high school and it just.. happened. No, we didn’t do anything more than kissing. Also, I guess you could say he’s.. attractive. His cooking is on a different level though.”

“Oh my godddd and you didn’t tell me? You’re making me suffer through bland ass food in the dining hall all by myself. I can’t believe you made out with a hot TA.” 

“It’s not a big deal. I doubt he’ll want to do it again,” Kageyama states. 

“Ooh so casual. You must have made out with hella people then, hm?” Shiro says and wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Uh.. no. It was my first kiss..” Kageyama admits.

Shiro gasps. “Dude, you’re so lucky. I haven’t even had my first kiss. Was it good?”

“Yeah.. it was..” Kageyama says as his voice drifts off. 

Shiro looks lost in his own imagination when Kageyama’s phone suddenly buzzes. Shiro eyes light up as he jumps from the bed. “Is that him? Please tell me it’s him! Is it some raunchy picture? Is he asking to make out again?”

“No, just hold on.” Kageyama unlocks his phone and opens the message. He wants to let out a sigh, but holds it in incase it’ll set Shiro off. It is Akaashi. 

‘hey. your exam is on wednesday, right? do you want to meet up monday to review at the cafe?’

Before Kageyama can respond, Shiro is across the room and grabbing his phone. How the fuck did he move so fast? Kageyama tries to snatch it back, but Shiro jumps away. 

“Akaashi Keiji? Is this him? Even his name sounds hot. Dude, he totally wants to hookup again. What should we respond?”

Kageyama groans and finally falls back on the bed. “Yes, it’s him and I don’t think he wants to make out. Let’s just agree to the review session.” Kageyama says and then pauses. “Actually, wait. There is no we. I’m gonna text him back.” Kageyama makes a grab for his phone again. 

“No, wait, let me do it,” Shiro says and dodges out of his grasp. He starts typing away at the screen and hits send before Kageyama can stop him. Kageyama throws a pillow at him.

“What the fuck did you say?”

“I just said ‘yeah, let’s meet up and we can review some other stuff too’ and then a winky face. 

“You’re kidding.” Kageyama says through gritted teeth. He wants to cry. 

“Nope. I told you I’m gonna set you up.”

Kageyama launches from the bed and starts slapping Shiro in the arm. Shiro covers himself and runs away to his own bed. Kageyama chases after him and jumps on the bed too. He starts slapping at him again and Shiro tries to block him with his own hands. He’s laughing hysterically as Kageyama tries to pummel him. He suddenly grabs his arms to make him stop. Kageyama freezes and stares down at the position they’re in. He’s straddling on top him just like Akaashi was earlier in the night. His arms are being gripped tightly in the air by Shiro. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Kageyama suddenly jumps off. He pulls his arms out of his grasp. 

Kageyama’s face is blazing in embarrassment. He did not mean to do that. 

“Oh ho ho, were we about to kiss just nowww?” Shiro asks in a sing song voice. 

“No, you idiot. I was just pissed you would send something like that. Oh god. He probably thinks I’m a freak and I’m in love with him now,” Kageyama whines. He falls back on his bed and buries his face in his hands. 

“Relax, everything is fine. If you’re really that embarrassed I’ll even come along and explain that it was me. Plus, I wanna meet this hunk that has my Tobi swooning.” Shiro says and looks off into the distance for dramatic effect. 

“Why should I let you come after you did that? You might mess it up even more,” Kageyama says. 

“I swear I won’t. I’ll behave. I just want to meet him, pleaseeeeee.” Shiro pleads. 

“No.”

“Pleaseeeeee. I have an exam to study for too. I’ll even buy your coffee.” 

“Hmm.” Kageyama considers his options. Free food is always tempting though. “ Fine, but if you mention any of this I’ll burn all of your clothes.”

“Got it. This is gonna be so fun. Go, Tobi! Go, Tobi! We’re gonna get you a man.”

Kageyama smacks himself in the face and bends down to pick up the pillow on the floor. He tosses it in Shiro’s face.

“Shut up, dumbass. I’m going to sleep.” He says and unceremoniously collapses on his bed. Somehow, life has brought him more chaos. It sort of feels like him and Shiro are friends now though. Kageyama almost doesn’t mind. 

* * *

When Kageyama walks into class, Hinata is already settled into their usual spot. He has his head down as if he’s lost in thought and fiddling with his fingers. Kageyama tries to sit down without disturbing him. 

Hinata jumps anyway and turns to look at him in the face. Kageyama’s eyes widen and he moves back in his seat slightly. What the fuck is going on? Hinata usually tries his best to ignore Kageyama at the beginning of class. Now, he’s staring him down. 

Kageyama decides he may have been startled and looks away. He doesn’t want to make Hinata uncomfortable. He starts flipping open his notes to prepare for lecture to begin. He sits and stares at the front while he waits. 

Kageyama suddenly feels a soft tap on his arm. He resists the urge to flail in his seat at the random contact. He slowly looks down at the finger still poking him and then moved his eyes up to Hinata’s face. He’s still staring at him dead on. Kageyama gulps. 

“Uh.. hey? Did you need something? I brought more pencils if you need.”

Hinata shakes his head and he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Kageyama scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. Why was Hinata interacting with him all of a sudden? 

“Y-you know how you mentioned that cafe?” Hinata finally asks in on rushed sentence.

“Yeah..?”

“O-oh well, I just went there to support Kenma since it was his first day. I didn’t know you’d be there too.” Hinata laughs awkwardly and suddenly notices that his finger is still on Kageyama’s arm and snatches it away. 

“Uh.. yeah that. I was just studying with Akaashi.”

“Oh! Studying. That makes sense..” Hinata says and drifts away in his thoughts. Kageyama just nods and gives him a weird look. Why is he interested in what he does all of a sudden? He didn’t want to go when he asked, so why bring it up? 

Hinata breaks from his daydreaming and looks back at him. “Are you two.. uh.. close now?” 

Kageyama raises his eyebrow before opening his mouth to speak. “I.. guess so, yeah. He’s just helping me because he’s my TA.” 

Hinata nods quickly and relaxes his body. He looks somewhat relived, but Kageyama doesn’t really understand why. It’s not like he has anyone to hang out with now that Hinata’s basically abandoned him. 

“Did you need anything else?” Kageyama asks awkwardly. 

“No! I mean yes!” Hinata yells. The students around them give him weird stares. 

“Uh, what is it?” Kageyama asks in concern. Maybe something came up with the team or his family. 

“O-oh.. well.. um.. I mean.. I know you wanted to go last week and I wasn’t hungry then. Um.. you don’t have to but um.. I was wondering if you still wanted to go..? With me?” Hinata finally spits out and nervously picks at his fingernails. 

Kageyama is momentarily stunned. He’s surprised by Hinata’s random change of heart and the fact that he’s apparently on speaking terms with him now. The thought of hanging out again shocks him even more. Kageyama gapes at him for a few seconds before responding. 

“I actually can’t today. I’m studying with some people at the cafe for my exam Wednesday.” Kageyama says. Hinata’s head falls and he looks away from the taller boy. Kageyama feels guilty for turning Hinata down after he’s whined for so long for an opportunity to be with Hinata. He really did have plans though. He sighs. Akaashi and Shiro will be there and they both know. He can’t lose this chance to hang out outside of class or practice though. He has no idea if Hinata will ever offer to hangout again. 

“But if you want to come study with us, you can?” Kageyama says. He has no idea why Hinata even wants to go to the cafe with him in the first place. 

“Oh, yeah! I’ll meet you there then. When are you free?” Hinata asks.

“My class ends at 3, so I can go there after?” He responds. 

“Okay, great! It’s a date then.” Kageyama stills and his eyes widen. Date? “Wait, no! I meant study group! Ignore that! I’ll just see you then! That’s what I meant to say!” Hinata says in a panic. 

“Uh, okay.” Kageyama just mumbles. 

“I have to go to the bathroom!” Hinata says and jumps up from his seat. He scuttles out of the room before Kageyama can even respond. He just watches him go. What the fuck is going on with him? 

* * *

After his next class, Kageyama practically sprints out of the lecture hall. He jogs across campus to the cafe. He hopes Hinata isn’t there yet, that way he can make sure Shiro doesn’t say anything crazy. When he busts into the shop, a few people give him looks but then go back to their work. He scans his eyes around the cafe for familiar faces. 

He spots Akaashi sitting at table in the corner. He’s wearing a tan trench coat, a white sweater and brown slacks. He looks nice he thinks. Kageyama speed walks across the cafe and throws himself into a seat. 

“Akaashi.”

“Kageyama?”

“I’m in some deep shit,” he says. Akaashi raises an eyebrow but remains calm. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I spilled everything about Hinata to my roommate last night. I was drunk and I might’ve told him about.. us too. I didn’t mean to though!” Kageyama says and holds his hands up. “Shiro is the one that sent you that text.”

Akaashi holds up a hand to his mouth to contain a laugh. He calms down and pulls his hand away to begin speaking, “I don’t care if he knows about us.” Akaashi gives him a smirk. 

Kageyama feels his face heat up again. He still can’t believe that happened. “Okay, well I’m glad you think so, but Shiro is on his way here right now. He wants to study with us and won’t take no for an answer.”

“Is that a problem? I think I can handle a loud mouth freshman.” Akaashi says and goes back to his papers. 

“No, listen. Hinata is coming too.” Akaashi’s hand stops writing and he freezes. 

“What?” He says and looks up at Kageyama. 

“Hinata is coming to study at the cafe.” Kageyama says with a grimace. 

“Why? I thought he didn’t want to go with you?”

“I have no idea. He just randomly asked about seeing us at the cafe and then asked if I still want to go with him. I told him we were studying here and asked if he wanted to join. He said yes. What do we dooo?” Kageyama whines. He wants to stomp his feet on the ground like a child but restrains himself. He can handle Akaashi, but Shiro and Hinata? He really fucked himself over.

Akaashi smirks at him againand just goes back to writing. “I can handle Hinata too,” he says. It doesn’t calm him at all though. Kageyama still feels flustered and stressed. Akaashi puts his other hand on top of Kageyama’s. He feels his breath hitch. 

They’re suddenly interrupted by Hinata running up to the table. Kageyama rips his hand away and looks up at the boy. Hinata is glancing between the two of them with confusion in his eyes. Akaashi just looks up at him with a bored stare. “Oh, hey Hinata. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh.. um, hey Akaashi! I didn’t know you went here until Kageyama told me that you’re his TA.” 

“Mhm.” Akaashi hums. 

Hinata awkwardly takes a seat next to Kageyama. He feels his chest tighten. 

Shiro magically appears at the table in the next second. “Hey friends!” He loudly announces and sits in the seat across from Hinata. 

“Hey,” Hinata mumbles. Akaashi just looks up at him and gives him a small smile. 

“So, uh this is my roommate, Shiro. Shiro, this is Hinata and Akaashi. I know them from high school.” He says and gestures to them. He’s gonna pretend like he didn’t just tell Shiro all of his secrets last night. 

“Cool! It’s nice to meet you guys,” the brunette says. They all nod and pull out their notes to study. Their table is quiet for a while until Akaashi gets up.

“You want anything, Kageyama?” Akaashi asks and tilts his head. He has a playful smile on his face. 

“Just the usual.” He responds and focuses on finishing the stoichiometry problem in front of him. Hinata glances at him out of the corner of his eye and Shiro just grins.

“Got it.” Akaashi walks away from the table. 

Shiro starts making kissy faces at Kageyama the second he’s out of hearing range. Hinata looks between the two of them and Kageyama just glares back. Kageyama kicks him from under the table and Shiro yelps. They both go back to looking at their papers, but Hinata is still staring at the side of his face. He can feel the sharp gaze on him, but refuses to look up.

A few minutes later, Akaashi returns and places an iced coffee and tart on the table. He settles back into the seat across from him with a hot tea and tart as well.  The table is quiet again and they keep working. Kageyama sips his drink every once and a while. 

Kageyama rests his hand on the table as he reads his notes. Hinata’s hand is only a few inches away. Every time he looks up, it feels like the red head’s hand has moved closer. They’re almost touching when Akaashi suddenly speaks up. Kageyama pulls his hand away. 

“Kageyama, this answer is wrong. Do you want me to go over it with you?” Akaashi says as he leans forward to look at his paper. Kageyama just nods. 

Akaashi scoots his chair around the table and leans close to him to explain. He can feel eyes staring at him. Kageyama focuses on the numbers and nods along. Akaashi is alarmingly close. He can smell the citrusy cologne emanating from him. He feels his breath quicken as he thinks back to that night. 

Just as he feels like his heart is going to burst, Akaashi moves away and slides his chair back to the other side of the table. 

“Thanks,” Kageyama mumbles. Hinata suddenly stands from the table and excuses himself to get a drink. Akaashi doesn’t even look up. Shiro and Kageyama glance at each other and share a look. He’ll definitely hear about this later. 

Hinata returns with a cup of iced tea and adanish. He starts munching on it and turns to look at Kageyama. They make eye contact for a few seconds and just stare into each other’s eyes. Hinata slowly stops chewing and just looks at his face. His eyes move down his body and Kageyama tries not to look away. 

He spots a small crumb on his cheek. Before he can stop himself, he’s reaching up with his sleeve and wiping it away. Hinata’s lips part and his neck begins to flush. Kageyama’s cheeks heat up. He pulls his hand away and turns back to his notes. 

He suddenly feels a sharp kick in his shin. He slowly looks up and glares across the table at Shiro. 

“What,” he mouths at him silently. 

Shiro jerks his head towards the bathroom and looks at him. Kageyama makes a face and shakes his head in confusion. He doesn’t even need to go right now.

He looks away from the brunette and turns back to his notebook again. He receives another sharp kick in his shin. 

Kageyama kicks back at him in reflex and causes the table to shake. The plates and cups make a loud sound. Shiro looks at him innocently. The other two boys just glance at them briefly. Kageyama is gonna tear his face off later.

He flips him off and rolls his eyes before turning away again. Shiro is persistent though.

“Tobi, you look like you have to use the bathroom. You drank that entire coffee.”

As soon as he opens his mouth to deny it, Shiro is already around the table and grabbing his arm. Damn him. He still doesn’t understand how he moves so fast. 

Kageyama relents and stands from his seat to follow Shiro to the bathroom. Hinata is giving them weird looks again. 

As soon as the door shuts behind them, Kageyama punches Shiro in the arm. 

“Wahhh that hurt!” The brunette whines and pouts. He stares at him with his golden eyes. 

Kageyama just narrows his eyes at him and shoves him. “Why the fuck did you drag me in here?” He hissed.

“Because holy fuck they’re both so hot? They’re practically fighting over you. It’s a war zone out there! Hinata’s short hair looks so good. It really emphasizes his facial structure and shows off those freckles, but then Akaashi!” Shiro fake swoons and puts the back of his hand over his forehead.“My god. That man is F-I-N-E. I didn’t even think a man could be that pretty. Have you seen those eyes? Holy shit. The messy but styled hair? Wow, another chefs kiss.”

Kageyama smacks himself and drags his hand down his face. How the fuck does he end up in these situations?

“They’re not fighting over me because neither of them like me. They’re both just friends. Jesus. We need to go back out there before they start thinking we’re the ones making out.”

“Ooooh that might be good to be honest. Maybe they’ll start actually fighting.” Shiro says and starts making smoochy faces at him. 

“Ew and oh my god. They’re not gonna do that.” 

“You’re kidding. Did you see the way Akaashi was looking at Hinata when he was helping you with that problem? He totally did it on purpose. He looked so smug. Then there’s Hinata. Did you see how mad he looked? I thought he was gonna tear up the paper in his hand. Oh my god and then when Akaashi got you food he looked so pissed, but then there’s that moment you had with him. I swear I was watching a romcom. You wiped his face, and he looked like hearts were gonna bulge out of his eyes and steam was gonna come out of his ears. 

I even saw Akaashi roll his eyes. Oh, and then there’s the moment I called you Tobi! They both looked so confused. This is so wild. My roommate is caught between two beautiful men and he just can’t decide. He’s agonizing over who’s heart he’s gonna break and-“

“That is not what’s going on. Shut the fuck up.” Kageyama says with a groan. 

“It totally is. Either way, they’re both sooo hot. It’s a win either way.” Shiro says with a smile. 

“Whatever. Is that all? Can we go back out now?” 

Shiro just nods and Kageyama follows him out. Shiro’s rant only caused more confusion. Did all of that actually happen or was he exaggerating? Why would Shiro lie though? Kageyama figures it can’t all be fake. At least with his name, most people call him Kageyama, so it wouldn’t be weird if they were confused when Shiro said Tobi. Kageyama shakes the thoughts off and walks back to the table. 

He checks his phone and sees that it’s almost five now. He starts packing up his things. 

“Hey, I should probably head out for practice soon.” Shiro and Akaashi just nod. 

“I should probably go too,” Hinata says. He starts putting his things away. He gets up from his seat and flings his bags over his shoulder. He walks away to throw his trash out and return the plates. He even grabbed Kageyama’s for him. 

Just as Kageyama is about to follow him, Akaashi grabs his hand before he can walk away. 

“Hey, Kageyama. Do you want dinner after practice? I’m cooking again.”

Kageyama tilts his head to think. It wouldn’t hurt to eat with him and relax before he had to study for the rest of the night. Plus, Akaashi can help if he had anymore questions. Shiro looks at him and gives him an imperceptible nod. His eyes look overjoyed though. 

“Sure.” Kageyama says and squeezes the hand before releasing it. “Bye guys,” he says and waves as he leaves. 

When he turns around, he is surprised to see Hinata standing by the door watching them. Kageyama didn’t realize he waited for him. 

He jogs to catch up to him and Hinata just looks away. They begin walking towards the other side of campus together. Neither of them speak, but continue walking side by side. It almost feels like high school again. 

Kageyama’s arms swing slightly as he walks and it brushes against Hinata’s. His heart rate speeds up and he swallows a lump in his throat. He tries to move his hand closer to his body. He didn’t mean to touch Hinata. He thinks back to the time Hinata snapped when he tried to touch him.

Yet, Hinata seems to move impossibly closer. Their hands brush again and Kageyama clears his throat. He feels like he can barely breath. As they approach the gym, Hinata glances as him again and their hands touch one more time. Kageyama looks down, but Hinata is already walking away towards the locker room. 

* * *

Kageyama is changing at the end of practice in the locker room when Hinata strides over to him. The taller boy jolts and quickly pulls his shirt down. He feels embarrassed at the thought of Hinata looking at him. 

“Hey! Thanks for inviting me to the cafe. I got a lot of studying done.”

Kageyama nods. “Thanks for coming.” 

Hinata begins fumbling with his fingers again. “Do you wanna walk with me back to my dorm? It gets boring walking home by myself,” he admits. 

Kageyama stares without answering. He’s acting so weird today and he can’t figure out why. Hinata is making it seem like they’re friends again. Why does it feel so off though? He’s been wanting this exact thing to happen for months, but it feels so forced. 

“Oh, sure. Let me just get my stuff,” he says quietly. Kageyama gathers his bags and turns back to Hinata. He follows the short boy out of the locker room and gym. 

Hinata walks next to him. “So, how does it feel to be a starting setter? You’ve improved a lot lately.”

Kageyama turns to look at him. “Oh, thanks and it’s nice. I was surprised they offered me the position, but I guess it makes sense since the setter is a senior and he’s graduating,” he replies. 

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s cool that we ended up on the same team. I wish we got to play together more though,” Hinata says.

“Me too.” 

“I’m gonna be a starting middle blocker next semester though. Just you watch. I’m not gonna lose to you.” 

Kageyama nods but can barely hold back a laugh. It’s such a Hinata thing to say. It really reminds him of what he was like back in high school. 

“Better hurry up then.” He says with a smirk. 

“I am, loser-yama!” 

“Shut up, dumbass.” He says and swipes at his arm. Hinata slaps him back and they start wrestling in the middle of campus. Students hurry by in an effort to try to avoid them. 

Kageyama releases his hold on Hinata’s hair and shoves him away. Hinata just laughs and punches him in the arm a final time. He has a bright smile on his face again. Kageyama can’t help but smile too. He missed this. 

They go back to walking towards the dorm in silence. It feels lighter now though. The tension between them has eased slightly. Maybe there’s still hope for them he thinks. His heart sings at the thought. It calls out for Hinata and he’s there by his side again. His potential friend and partner. 

As they’re approaching the building, Hinata stops walking. Kageyama turns around in confusion. Hinata’s face is completely serious. Kageyama stills. 

“Kageyama?” Hinata whispers and looks down at his shoes.

“Yeah?” Kageyama says nervously. 

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting lately. I realize how shitty that might sound after all this time, but I’m sorry. I never should’ve treated you that way. You’re my best friend and I just pushed you away without any explanation. I should’ve apologized as soon as I saw you at school, but I never did. I just had a lot going on and I was stressed. I know that’s not an excuse, but I didn’t mean to lash out. By the time I realized what I did, it was already too late. I hurt you and I felt like if I was near you, I was just going to hurt you again. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but I just couldn’t stand to stay away anymore. I missed you..” 

The courtyard is completely silent. There’s no one else around them and the wind chills him to the bone. Did Hinata really just say all of that to him? 

He opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. Words refuse to come out. He opens and closes his mouth a few more times before he lets out a choked sound. 

“I-I.. missed you too. I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve actually talked to you..”

“I know and that’s my fault. I’m sorry.” Hinata says and looks at him with sad eyes. 

Kageyama’s heart melts. He hates seeing him like this. He never wants to be the cause of it. “I just.. wish you would’ve said something sooner. I thought you hated me. You just disappeared from my life one day and I didn’t know how to fix it. You shut me out and that really hurt. I thought.. we were friends. I thought partners were supposed to do things together even when things are hard.” 

Kageyama can’t hold it back anymore. He’s been trying to have this conversation with Hinata for so long. 

“I know. You’re right and I can’t apologize enough for how dumb I was acting. I was selfish and I hurt you and I never meant to. You have to know that. I would take it back if I could. I want to be friends again. Please.” Hinata says and reaches out a hand to grab his. Kageyama’s heart pounds in his chest. He wants to give in so bad but at the same time, Hinata put him through so much. It doesn’t feel right to just pretend like everything is forgiven and okay again. He can’t let Hinata go though. He’s never been able to.

“I.. I just need some time to think about it. You really hurt me, Hinata. You knew that I struggled with friends in the past. I may not act like it, but I have feelings too. I’m just a person. You can’t just leave and expect to come back like everything is okay. That wasn’t fair to me and I don’t want to feel like that again. I was so lonely for months,” Kageyama says and echoes Akaashi’s words. Hinata squeezes his hand. 

“I’m so sorry, Kageyama. I mean it. I wish I was there for you, but now I can be. I’ll prove to you that I can be better. I’ll be the best friend you’ve ever had. I’ll fix this, for us.” Hinata says in earnest. He stares up into Kageyama’s eyes. 

Kageyama feels his lip tingle. He wants to close the distance between them. Us, he thinks. Is there even an us anymore? Whatever’s left of them has been torn to shreds and yet, he wants nothing more than to salvage it. Hinata. His person. Even if they’re just friends, he wants him back.

“Okay, let’s try,” he says. Hinata lights up and pulls him into a hug. Kageyama stands frozen in the embrace. He feels so warm, even with the cold weather. His sun. His warmth. All of his feelings slam into him at once. He loves this boy. Kageyama pulls his arms from Hinata’s grasp and wraps them around the smaller boy. His body presses against his and he can hardly contain the shiver that wracks through him. His body feels right against him. 

His heart patters in his chest and cries out for more. Kageyama pulls back slightly and stares into Hinata’s eyes. He’s so close. He’s stuck between kissing him until he can’t breath and just confessing everything he feels. 

“Hinata,” Kageyama says. The words are tumbling out of his mouth. “I..I think I lo-“

His voice is suddenly cut off as a door slams into them. Apparently, someone was coming out of the building and didn’t see them there. They apologize profusely and rush away. He regains his footing and grabs onto Hinata to keep him from falling. 

When Hinata is stable again he turns back to Kageyama. “Sorry, what were you saying?” 

Kageyama clamps his mouth shut. He can’t do it. They’ve barely just become friends again. He can’t ruin this. 

“Nothing, I was just saying you’ve improved a lot too. I’m still better though.” He says and shoves him softly. Hinata just smiles and gives him a small shove back. 

“Nah, I’m totally gonna pass you one day, but I’m serious. I’m gonna fix this, okay? You’ll see.” Hinata says and gives him a thumbs up. Kageyama just nods as Hinata turns away. 

“Bye!” Hinata waves and opens the door with his ID card. 

“Bye.” Kageyama says and waves back. 

Once he’s out of sight, Kageyama drops his hand to his side with a sigh. 

* * *

Akaashi made chicken and vegetables for dinner that night. It was delicious, as expected. Kageyama told him so, but Akaashi refused to take the compliment. They sat close to each other on the couch as they worked. Akaashi leaned his head against his shoulder and Kageyama leaned against his head in return. 

Things were finally starting to feel okay again. He told Akaashi about Hinata making up with him and the boy simply nodded. He said he was glad things worked out, but warned him to be careful. He didn’t want to see him get hurt again. Kageyama agreed and the rest of the night was peaceful. 

He also texted Shiro about it who was overjoyed, but also nosey about his hangout with Akaashi. He told him that they’d talk about it later and went back to studying. By the end of the night, Kageyama felt fully prepared for the exam for once. He thanks Akaashi several times throughout the span of their hangout and the boy just responds by saying it’s not a big deal since it’s his job.

They wrap up their study session and clean up like last time. There’s no make out session, but Kageyama still feels the lingering tension between them. He wouldn’t mind it happening again, but Akaashi hasn’t made a move yet. 

As he’s about to leave, Akaashi insists on walking him home again. When they get outside the freezing wind bites at his skin. He forgot his team jacket at home today, so he was stuck in the thin long sleeve shirt he wore all day. Halfway through their walk, Akaashi stops him by lightly touching his arm. Kageyama turns to face him as Akaashi pulls off his jacket. 

“Here, put this on,” Akaashi says. 

“No, I’m okay. We’re almost back to the dorm and you still have to walk back home,” he says and tries to push the jacket away. 

“I’ll be fine. I have a sweater on and all you have is that thin shirt. You’ll get sick, you need to layer up.” Akaashi pulls the jacket around his shoulders and smooths it out. Kageyama embraces the touch and feels heat spread through his body. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. Akaashi smiles at him. 

When they reach the door, Kageyama turns to say goodbye. Akaashi is already looking at him and reaches up to smooth his hair out. He hasn’t been able to kick the habit of looking after people even at his own expense. It starkly reminds him of Bokuto. 

“Thanks for making dinner again.” Kageyama says in a quiet voice. 

“Of course. You know I don’t mind.” 

Kageyama nods. “I’ll see you soon. I’ll text you how the exam goes.” 

Akaashi nods. He leans up on his toes and plants a soft kiss against his cheek. “Good luck,” he whispers. 

Kageyama shivers. “Thanks. Goodnight, Akaashi.” He reaches his hand up to his face and wipes a stray eyelash from his cheek. Akaashi leans his head against his hand. 

“Goodnight, Kageyama,” Akaashi whispers back before pulling away. He walks off and leaves Kageyama with his heart pounding. 

* * *

On the day of his exam, Kageyama feels the nerves kick in. He knows the material, but he can’t help but feel nervous. He doesn’t want to let Akaashi down after all the hard work he put into helping him. 

Thoughts of Akaashi swirl around his head. He can’t escape from it either because he’s taken to wearing the older boys coat everywhere. It’s just so warm and he hates to admit it, but it makes him feel stylish. He needs more pieces like this in his closet. He inhales the spicy and citrusy scent as he settles into his seat next to Hinata. 

Hinata eyes the tan jacket and looks up at Kageyama’s face. He frowns but doesn’t say anything. 

“I brought you the iced coffee you like. I thought it would help wake you up for your exam,” Hinata says and places the cup on his desk.

“Thank you,” Kageyama says in surprise. Hinata hums and pulls his hand away. Kageyama’s eyes catch on the beaded bracelet on his wrist. It’s the one Natsu made. It makes his heart warm and he glances at his own still tied around his wrist. 

Hinata bends down and reaches into his bag. “I brought you some milk too.” He says. Kageyama raises his eyebrows but accepts the carton anyway. “Don’t drink it all though. You’ll have to go to the bathroom and then fail your exam.” He adds on.

“I’m not gonna fail my exam, idiot. You’re the one that always needs to go to the bathroom.” Kageyama says and smiles. Hinata smiles back. 

“Touché. By the way, do you want to stop by the cafe after? We can have a nice break since you’ve been stressed about studying.” 

“Sure. I’ll text you,” he says. Hinata nods and the professor walks in. 

Maybe things will actually go back to normal Kageyama thinks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy everyone! what do we think of akasshi and kags now, and akaashi in general? 👀 thoughts on shiro? also, i hope you’re all enjoying the story so far. i’ve been trying to progress it slowly so everything actually makes sense. please let me know if you think i should make changes. as always, thank you for your support and comments. it really encourages me to keep writing. - daisy
> 
> *also random side note i love hollow knight! if anyone has a switch i recommend getting it! it’s only like $10-15.*


	24. Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warmth in the cold and parties.

Kyoto, Japan is known for its cultural destinations and beautiful palaces. It’s home to numerous temples, shrines, and gardens, not that Kageyama has seen any of them. He’s been stuck on campus for the entire semester. All he’s seen are the back of peoples heads in lecture halls and the inside of a practice gym.

By mid-February, the weather in Kyoto has dipped considerably. It’s caused the tiny plant in his room to wilt. The wind is cold and harsh. It nips at his exposed skin as soon as Kageyama opens the door. Flurries of snow fall from the sky and dust the pavement. The world is covered in a thin layer of white. He tries his best not to slip in it again.

He busted his ass on the ice outside of his dorm, and the person behind him just stepped over his body like a moldy wrapper on the floor. He’s been pissed ever since. 

When he finally recovers from his tumble onto the ice, he hurries off incase anyone else saw him sprawled on the ground. Kageyama pulls his coat tighter around himself. He can see his breath puff out in small clouds as he walks across campus. The frigid air urges him to move faster. He just wants to get inside at this point. 

He was already late to class due to the god awful surround sound system that is Shiro’s snoring. He’s not sure if he can even call it that with the volume and intensity the boy is able to emit. It sounds more like a thunderstorm rolling in rather than a person. 

In the past six weeks, Kageyama has adjusted to the noise by pulling his covers over his head and sleeping underneath them. At this point, he could probably sleep through a tornado warning, which only causes him to sleep through almost all of his alarms. By the time he wakes up, it’s more out of habit than response to the sound. 

Today, he didn’t even have enough time to go for a run and shower. He barely had enough time to dress and brush his teeth before sprinting out of the dorm building, which inevitably led to the slip and slide incident this morning. He’s just glad it’s the end of the week. If it was a Monday, he may have thrown a tantrum. 

To make matters worse, in his haste, he forgot to grab anything to keep him warm other than his coat. He left his gloves and hat on his desk. Now he’s shivering and furiously rubbing his hands together in an attempt to create some heat. 

By the time he reaches the building, his hands are practically numb and ache as he pulls the door open. He rushes down the hall towards the double doors of the lecture hall. Class started a few minutes ago, but there are still a few other people trickling in. It’s already dark inside since the professor dimmed the lights to present his lecture.

Kageyama is sure no one actually cares, but still ducks his head as he ascends the stairs to the spot next to Hinata. He quietly sits in the seat and Hinata beams at him. Kageyama gives him a soft smile back. 

He looks away and bends over to grab his notebook. He still doesn’t have enough feeling in his hands to take notes right now though. So, he sits and allows his body to warm up again before catching up on the notes. 

Kageyama continues rubbing his hands together in his lap to speed up the process. He’s always been prone to getting cold, so he knows it may take a while. As he’s clenching his hand to see if it’s functional again, a hand suddenly darts across his lap and grabs it. 

He jumps and looks away from the projector screen. He tries to pull his hand away at first, but Hinata just tightens his grip. The shorter boy pulls Kageyama’s hands closer to himself and wraps his fingers around them. They’re entirely too small to cover the entire surface of them, but Hinata just leaves their hands clasped together. He reaches his other hand over and sandwiches Kageyama’s hand in between it. 

Kageyama feels warmth immediately flood his system. He knows the sudden spike in his body temperature isn’t from the extra hand on top of his. Instead, it’s the person it’s attached to. His heart can barely stand it. 

“What’re you doing?”

“Nothing. Your hands are cold, right? I’m just warming them up. They’re freezing and you know mine are always warm.” Hinata says without breaking his gaze from the screen. 

Kageyama’s nods but his insides feel like mush right now. He’s not sure if the universe has finally decided to end his streak of bad luck, but it sure feels like it. Kageyama embraces the feeling of Hinata’s hand in his again. If it wasn’t so dark, he may have been embarrassed, but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s noticed. 

After a few minutes he tries to pull away, but Hinata still won’t release him. 

“Let go. You’re missing all the notes, dumbass,” Kageyama whispers. 

“I’ll be fine. He uploads all of the powerpoints after class anyway.” 

Kageyama sighs. His hands have already unfrozen at this point, but he just lets Hinata hold them. He tries not to think about it too much. He’s scared if he does his hands might start sweating and then Hinata will think he’s gross. Kageyama wills himself to focus on the board for the rest of class. 

They finally break apart when the professor dismisses them and they pack up to leave. As they’re walking out, Hinata leans up on his toes and whispers in Kageyamas’s ear, “If you ever get cold again, I can keep you warm.”  The hot breath tickles his ear and he swats him away.

“Shut up, idiot,” Kageyama says weakly. He feels a blush rising on his cheeks. He was not expecting Hinata to say something like that to him. His mind can’t help but wander to other activities and he pushes the thoughts away. 

True to his word, Hinata has definitely made an effort to make amends for ditching him. He’s practically glued to his side every second of the day and he’s kept this up for weeks. He studies with him at the cafe after class, follows him to practice, and insists on walking to his dorm together. It feels like they’ve seamlessly fallen back into their routine from high school. 

Afterwards, Kageyama will go over to Akaashi’s for dinner and to hang out for a bit before going back to his dorm to finish any work he has left. Hinata has wriggled his way into that part of his life too. He shows up at his dorm unannounced and studies in his room. 

Kageyama may have enjoyed this if it weren’t for one loud mouthed roommate named Shiro. Hinata and Shiro have become quick friends to say the least. Even after a long day, they’re both brimming with energy. They argue over which manga is the best in shonen jump and which anime OP hits harder. Kageyama could care less, but he can’t exactly escape from hearing about it either. They’ve even taken to hanging out without him when he’s busy. It’s odd but also comforting. He’s glad they’re comfortable around each other because it makes up for his own awkwardness. 

Albeit, Hinata and Akaashi haven’t clicked in the same way. Kageyama has tried to hang out as a group after the cafe study session, but it always seems like everyone is on edge. The time passes with tense silence and lingering stares. After that, Kageyama settles on hanging out with his friends separately. 

Along with squeezing back into every aspect of his life, Hinata has also taken to bringing him an endless stream of gifts in his attempt to win him back. He’s relentless. It’s almost endearing and only serves to make his feelings grow even more. One day, it’s a playlist for his morning runs and the next, it’s a snack with personalized notes. Kageyama has taken to saving the notes in a box in his room. They always cheer him up on the days he wakes up cranky and tired. They usually read along the lines of ‘I believe in you!’ and ‘You’re amazing, keep going!’ 

It makes his heart warm and his insides tingle. Hinata has also been keeping a close eye on him every second of the day. He’s not sure if Shiro is acting as a spy for him, but at the first sign of a cough, Hinata is ready at his dorm with bowl of miso soup. He remembers that day in particular because Hinata forced him to stay in bed and skip practice. There was no way he could sneak out either. He stayed in the room playing on the switch with Shiro and watched him like a hawk. 

His suspicions were confirmed soon after because the next time, it’s his shoulder acting up. When he woke up, he felt the pain immediately. The cold weather has been kicking his ass lately and has only added to the aches. It’s slowly recovered, but it still flares up sporadically. Originally, Kageyama decided to take pain medication and do some stretches before carrying on with his day, but Hinata had other plans. A day later, Hinata showed up with a heating pad after practice. He forced him to take it in the locker room and made him promise to use it when he got back to the dorm. 

It makes him want to smack Shiro in the back of the head for meddling in his business, but it also makes him want to kiss Hinata so much it hurts. Kageyama can’t help the feeling that bursts in his chest. Damn him for making it so hard to stay mad. 

* * *

Later that day, practice runs smoothly and with their first match less than a month away, Kageyama is grateful their team is finally syncing together. While he doesn’t get to play with Hinata in the official match, the coach has allowed them to practice together for future games. Hinata has improved drastically since coming here. He thinks it’s the pressure of competing against other talented blockers to earn a spot on the starting line up. Hinata has always been extremely competitive. He seems to shine the most when his back is against the wall. 

Kageyama thinks he may have been telling the truth when he said he’d be on the court with him by next semester. The prospect excites him and pushes him forward as well. 

They’re in the middle of setting and spiking drills when it happens. Coach Niigata is closely watching from the sidelines as Kageyama sets the ball into the air. Hinata is the next spiker in line and he swiftly runs forward. His knees bend as he swings his arms back to leap into the air. The small boy launches from the floor and flies above the net before slamming the ball down. Kageyama watches as he falls towards the ground in slow motion. 

He hasn’t seen Hinata spike like that in months. Yet, it still leaves him breathless. He’s been waiting for the moment they connect again. The gym is silent for a moment before some of the other first years start cheering loudly. They clap him on the back and start chattering about his spike. The older blockers just glance at each other and give him a weird look. 

He sees the coach looking on in shock and Kageyama can’t help the smug smile that tugs on his lips. He feels an uncontrollable amount of pride flow through him. Hinata may not have all of the technical skills mastered of height to make up for it, but he’s not weak either. He’s glad that Hinata is finally showing everyone what he’s capable of, including their coach. 

At the end of practice, he sees Hinata talking to coach Niigata. He wants to stay behind to eavesdrop on their conversation, but decides against it. They’re probably just talking about the quick from earlier. 

Just as he’s about to reach the door of the locker room, he hears Hinata’s voice calling after him. He turns around to see the boy rushing towards him. 

“Kageyama!” Hinata says as he catches up. 

“What?” he responds. 

“Let’s stay after for practice!”

“Eh? Niigata-san is about to lock up the gym.” 

“No, he’s not. I already asked him to stay later, silly. He says we’re allowed to so we can practice our quick,” Hinata says with enthusiasm. 

Kageyama glances back towards the locker room door. He’s already tired from a long week, but he’s never been able to say no to Hinata. He lets out a long sigh before turning back towards the ball of energy. 

“Practice with me,” Hinata says. He’s standing extremely close and beaming up at him. His heart twists. 

“F-fine, but we’re not staying long. Ten tosses and then I’m leaving.”

“Twenty,” Hinata argues.

“Ten,” he says and tries to stand his ground.

“Eighteen,” Hinata says and gets in his face.

“Twelve,” Kageyama shoots back as he grits his teeth. 

“Fifteen,” Hinata insists. 

“Fine,” Kageyama snaps. “But I’m not giving you a single toss more than that.” Hinata just grins at him triumphantly. That little shit. 

Of course, things never turn out the way he intends them to and they stay for much longer than fifteen tosses. By the time Kageyama snaps out of it, he stomps out of the gym with Hinata on his tail. The smaller boy just smiles him. 

They clean up on their way out and lock up the gym for the coach. Kageyama walks Hinata home as usual before heading towards a grocery store near campus. He decided to skip his daily coffee run in place of getting food. 

Akaashi has turned him into a caffeine fiend and he can’t find the willpower to stop. It’s not like he’s paying for it anyway. His parents loaded his dining card when he got to school and he’s been taking advantage of it whenever he gets a chance. It just so happens that he decides to splurge on iced drinks every morning rather than the meals they’re intended for.

It hardly makes a dent in his funds though considering his post practice dinners with Akaashi have become a part of his routine. The older boy has graced him with the gift of free food. 

Kageyama feels guilty for basically freeloading off of the talents of a broke college student, but Akaashi insists it isn’t a problem. He swears he always makes too much food for himself to eat anyway. Akaashi refuses to give up the role of caretaker, which is why Kageyama wants to pay him back by buying the ingredients for once. To make it fair, they’ve arranged a system for dinner. Akaashi preps and cooks the food, while Kageyama cleans and washes the dishes. He feels like that isn’t enough though. 

Akaashi always checks up on him after practice and has food ready afterwards. He says it has something to do with athletes needing a proper diet and nutrition. Kageyama just thinks the food tastes good and he likes hanging around his apartment. Akaashi gives him a sense of consistency and stability in his life. He couldn’t have asked for a more supportive friend. Even with his wariness towards Hinata, he’s always there to give him advice whenever he needs it. 

As he approaches the grocery store, he feels a small smile slip onto his face as he thinks about him. Akaashi is a big fan of pasta, so he figures he should go with that. Kageyama enters the small store and browses the aisles for the ingredients. He doesn’t really know what to get, so he just grabs anything he’s noticed in his food. He picks out some onions, garlic, and spinach. He also decides to get some chicken for their meal. As he approaches the frozen meat, he spots two figures walking ahead of him. He tries not to stare at them, but he can’t figure out if he should say hi or not. It would be rude if he didn’t say anything and they spot him here. At the same time, he feels like he’s too awkward to walk up to them like that. 

He ducks his head and stares at the packages of chicken instead. Raw meat kind of grosses him out. Just as he’s about to grab a pack and walk away, he hears someone approach him. 

“Kageyama!” 

He cringes and slowly turns to look at the person. 

“Hi, Kuroo. Hi, Iwaizumi,” Kageyama mutters awkwardly. He practices with Kuroo everyday, considering they’re on the same team, but he still doesn’t know how to act around him. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here. Whatcha cookin up?” Kuroo asks with a grin. 

“Oh, I’m not cooking..”

“Why’re you buying food then?” Iwaizumi asks and furrows his brows. 

“I was.. uh.. buying stuff for Akaashi. He’s cooking,” Kageyama responds. 

“Oh hey hey, you’re friends with Akaashi now? I haven’t seen him in ages,” Kuroo’s voice booms. 

“Yeah, I was actually about to head over there now. I should g-“

“Hold on, don’t leave yet.” Kuroo sticks his arm out to stop him from walking off. He shoots another grin at him. “Iwa and I are actually thinking of having a small get together tonight at my place. You should come! Bring Akaashi and unwind a little. Take a break from volleyball and all that.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude. I have to study anyway,” Kageyama says and scratches at the back of his neck. 

“Nonsense! It’ll be like a reunion! Bring Shrimpy too!” Kuroo says and claps Kageyama on the back. 

He awkwardly smiles and turns to Iwaizumi for help. The boy just shrugs. 

“I guess I’ll see what they’re up to and we’ll see if they wanna come,” Kageyama mutters. 

“Great! Party starts at 10. Akaashi knows where it is.” Kuroo says and turns to walk away. 

“See ya later.” Iwaizumi tacks on and turns to leave too. 

Kageyama releases a sigh and turns back to the chicken legs. 

* * *

The steps up to Akaashi’s apartment feel like they go on for miles. Kageyama drags himself up the stairs with grocery bags weighing down his arms. He may have bought too much, but he had no idea what Akaashi actually needed to make a meal. 

By the time he reaches Akaashi’s door, he’s out of breath. He needs to do some more weight training he thinks to himself. He drops the bags on the floor and raises a hand to knock on the door. 

A few seconds later, he hears the lock click and the door swings open. Akaashi doesn’t even glance at him and walks into the kitchen. He just stares at his phone and leaves it open for him to walk in. Kageyama grabs the bags. He softly places them on the counter before looking back at Akaashi. Apparently, he’s entranced by whatever’s on his phone screen. 

Kageyama leans next to him on the counter. After ten minutes pass in silence, Kageyama starts to get worried. Why isn’t he saying anything and why does look like he just saw a ghost? 

“Akaashi.” 

No response. 

“Hey, Akaashi.” 

The boy still doesn’t respond and continues staring at his phone. 

“Akaashi!” Kageyama says in a loud voice and waves a hand in front of his face. 

Akaashi blinks and turns his head slightly. 

“Sorry, what happened?” 

“Nothing, you were just staring at your phone. Everything okay?” 

“Oh, yeah. I just need some time to think. Would you like to have dinner tonight? I haven’t cooked anything yet,” Akaashi says before locking his phone and placing it face down on the counter. Kageyama doesn’t have a keen eye for these things, but he knows Akaashi well enough to know when things are off. He decides to bring it up later and give him some space. 

“I like to have dinner every night,” Kageyama jokes. 

“Alright, smart ass. I’ll take that as a yes,” Akaashi responds and gives him a punch in the shoulder. He turns towards the fridge and starts digging around in it. He still hasn’t noticed the bags of food on the counter. “Hmm. What to cook..” He hums. 

“Akaashi.”

“Huh?” Akaashi says lost in thought. He pulls his head out of the fridge and nearly hits his head. 

“I.. um.. already bought stuff if you want to make that. It’s up to you, and are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Oh! You didn’t have to do that Kageyama. I appreciate it though. What’d you bring?”

Akaashi evades the last question. 

“Well, I know you like pasta so I tried to get some ingredients for that. I didn’t know what to get, but I think I got almost everything you’d need for an alfred or whatever it’s called,” Kageyama says and watches his movements. Akaashi turns to look through the bags. 

“Alfredo,” he says with a light chuckle. “Yeah, I can make this work. Thanks, Kageyama. You saved me a trip to the store.” 

Kageyama just nods in response and watches as he pulls items out. For some reason, Kageyama just can’t kick the feeling that something is terribly wrong. All he can do is stand there and watch as Akaashi starts boiling water and prepping the food. He usually doesn’t help because he has no idea how to do just about anything in the kitchen, but he wants to try today. At least he’ll be helping in some form. He walks over to where Akaashi is cutting up a large onion. 

“Can I do it?” Kageyama asks meekly. 

Akaashi turns to him in surprise. He’s not sure if he’s shocked because he was deep in thought or because of his sudden initiative to help. “Do you know how?”

“Uhh.. not really but it can’t be that hard, right?”

Akaashi gives him a weird look but nods. “Just be careful and don’t rub your eyes, okay?” 

Kageyama nods in return and carefully takes the knife out of his hand. Akaashi turns away and stirs the ingredients in the pan. Kageyama looks at the cutting board and gets to work. He slowly slices through the onion without cutting his fingers off. He feels his eyes watering but pushes through it. It’s not exactly even, but it’s diced up at the very least. He’s laser focused on cutting the last few pieces and narrowly misses slicing the tip of his finger off. 

Kageyama carefully carries the cutting board over to the stove and hands it to Akaashi. It seems like he’s still in a weird mood. While his face is usually blank, it seems more guarded now. Kageyama can’t tell if it’s his imagination or not. He’s been around Akaashi long enough to know what he’s like on a regular basis though, and this isn’t it. 

Akaashi sighs several times throughout the course of cooking their meal and it makes Kageyama cringe. If he had known something was bothering him, he would’ve just ate in the dining hall. He’s starting to feel bad for forcing him to cook when they could’ve just ordered in. 

By the time the meal is finished, Kageyama can definitely tell something is up. Akaashi is quiet, but he’s never this quiet. As they sit down to eat at the tiny kitchen table, he watches him shove the food around the plate. At times, he won’t even move. The fork is still in his hand and his graceful fingers clench around it. Kageyama stays silent and awkwardly eats on his food. He feels like his chewing has never been louder than right now. 

“How was your day, Kageyama?” Akaashi asks suddenly. Kageyama didn’t realize that he’s finally looked up from his plate. 

“It was.. decent. I broke my ass on the ice today though.” Kageyama says. Now doesn’t feel like the right time to gossip about his hand holding session with Hinata. 

Akaashi let’s out a laugh and covers his mouth. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting that.” 

Kageyama smiles. He’s not exactly great with people, but it feels good to make Akaashi laugh, especially since he seems upset. 

“How was yours?” Kageyama asks. 

Akaashi let’s out another sigh and puts his fork down. “Honestly? Pretty shitty. I graded some exams last night and I forgot them at home, so I had to run back here. My professor wasn’t happy to say the least. It was also freezing out today, so it made the trip back particularly awful. I’m surprised I didn’t slip on the ice.” 

Kageyama feels relieved. It could’ve been way worse. He’s glad he knows what the issue is now. 

“Lucky you. The ice had other plans for me, apparently. Also, it was a small mistake. I’m sure they’ve already forgotten about it. You’re always on top of things, so they can’t really blame you for one bad day.” Kageyama responds. 

Akaashi just nods and finally picks up his fork again to take a bite of his food. By the end of the meal, he seems to be in a better mood than when Kageyama first arrived. It still feels like there’s something bothering him though. As he’s getting up to wash the dishes, Kageyama is suddenly reminded of Kuroo’s invite from earlier. 

“Hey, Akaashi?”

“Yeah?”

“So, Kuroo mentioned something about a small get together later and he wanted me to come. He told me to bring you too. I didn’t really want to go, but I know you said you were having a shitty day. So, I was thinking maybe we should. It could make you feel better and we’ll get free drinks?” As soon as the words come out of Kageyama’s mouth, he regrets them. Akaashi probably doesn’t want to be around people right now and quite frankly, he doesn’t either. It makes him anxious, plus he’s never even been to a party. He has no idea why he brought it up. He mentally curses himself.

“Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking of just staying in tonight..” Akaashi says. 

“Yeah, I get that. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I’ve never been to one anyway, so it would probably be weird.”

Akaashi raises his eyebrows. “You’ve never been to a party?”

“Uhh.. no. I spend most of my weekends here.”

“That’s true, but that’s boring. We should go.”

Kageyama panics. “What? Why?”

“Because you’ve never been to one and I’m not gonna hold you back from getting the full college experience.” Akaashi says.

“Oh, no don’t worry about me. I’m sure I’m not missing out on much.” Kageyama says and rushes toward the sink to escape from the conversation. 

“Ahh, but I think you are. Now we have to go. It’s not like we’re doing anything other than hiding away in my apartment anyway.”

“I don’t know..”

“Plus, like you said, I’ve had a shitty day and I could go for a couple shots right now,” Akaashi says and gives him a smirk. 

Kageyama shuts his eyes. What the fuck has he gotten himself into?

* * *

Before leaving, Kageyama agrees to meet Akaashi in the courtyard to walk over to Kuroo’s. Kageyama still has to shower and get ready. The only issue is that he has no idea what to wear. He can’t decide whether he should wear something casual or try to pull off something fancy. To make matters worse, Shiro isn’t back at the dorm yet, so he can’t even ask for help.

He has a pile of clothes pulled out of his drawers. There’s an assortment of shirts and pants scattered everywhere. After twenty minutes of torturing himself over what to put on, he decides to figure it out after taking a shower. 

He’s had a hard day of practice and he just wants to rinse of all the dirt and grime from being out all day. Kageyama quickly sheds his clothes and tosses it in his hamper. He hopes Shiro doesn’t randomly burst in like last week.

Kageyama wraps a towel around his waist and grabs his shower caddy off the shelf by his desk. He slips on his shower shoes and walks down the halls to the bathroom. There’s no one in sight. Kageyama smiles. He’s glad to have some time to be by himself. 

He slides the curtain back and steps into the stall, placing the caddy on the ground. He turns the faucet on and he’s greeted with a cool spray of water. He shrinks back from the stream until it’s scalding hot. The water washes over his skin and Kageyama feels himself relax. 

He bends down to grab his body wash and loofa to lather his body. He starts by scrubbing at his arms before moving to his chest and stomach. He moves to his back and legs next.

When he’s done covering his entire body, he moves under the hot water again. His body has filled out with taut muscle and he presses his fingers against them as he rinses off. He watches as the soap suds swirl in the drain and lets the water rush down his body. It trickles and drips off of him. Kageyama let’s out a sigh of content.

It always feels nice to rinse off a long day of hard work and stress. The hot water eases his aches and pains, especially in his back from his slip earlier. 

He moves to his hair next and squirts a large dollop of shampoo in his hand. He tangles his fingers in his hair and massages his scalp. When he feels like his hair is throughly coated, he tilts his head back under the shower head. The water patters against his face and Kageyama shuts his eyes. 

He thinks about all the work he has to do this weekend. He really should stay in tonight and study, but he already agreed to go with Akaashi. He figures he can handle one night off though. He hasn’t had one in a while and he just needs to relax. While things are better with Hinata, he’s definitely still stressed about everything else in his life from grades to volleyball. There’s the issue of the Adlers and their upcoming match. He’s been working tirelessly to improve and prepare. He’s afraid it won’t be enough though. The last time he choked under pressure, it almost ruined everything. Kageyama sighs and pushes the intrusive thoughts away. That’s an issue for another time. 

He finishes up his shower by conditioning his hair before shutting the water off. He grabs his towel off the hook outside of the shower. He wraps it around himself and it hangs low on his hips. He steps out and is greeted by the sight of steam billowing around the room. 

He grabs his caddy off of the floor and walks out of the bathroom towards his room. Kageyama pulls his ID out of the basket and slides it into the slot in the door. He quickly enters in the code before slipping back into the room and shutting the door behind him. 

As luck would have it, or maybe it’s karma,  he’s not alone in his room like he expected. Hinata and Shiro are standing stock still in the center of the room, staring at him. Their arms are still raised as if they were just wrestling.

Kageyama freezes with a towel in his hand drying his hair. It takes a second for his mind to catch up with what he’s seeing. He promptly lets out a loud yelp and drops the towel as he tries to cover up his bare skin with his hands. He feels like a maiden preserving her modesty. 

Hinata’s mouth drops open and he does the first thing that comes to his mind, which is chucking his bar of soap at them. Hinata squeaks and tries to dodge out of the way as Shiro attempts to cover the red heads eyes with his hand. 

Kageyama scrambles towards his bed and ducks under the covers. 

“What the fuck are you guys doing here?” Kageyama says with his voice muffled under the blanket. 

“We just got here! We didn’t know you’d be half naked. Not that that’s bad, you were practically glistening like a Greek god, but I have to get ready, so I came back here. Nice abs by the way,” Shiro says in a rushed voice. 

“Yeah, I just came along,” Hinata says in a tiny voice. 

Kageyama let’s out a groan and tightly shuts his eyes. 

“Why?” Kageyama asks through gritted teeth. 

Hinata let’s out another squeak. “Kenma told me Kuroo’s having a party and Shiro wanted to get changed before we went.”

Kageyama let’s out an exasperated sigh. Of course they were going too. “Okay, well get out. I still have to get dressed.” Kageyama says and tries not to shift around uncomfortably in his bed. 

“Okay, Twilight. We’ll be outside,” Shiro says and snickers. Kageyama reaches his hand out from the covers and grabs a pillow to chuck in his general direction.

He hears Shiro laugh loudly before dragging Hinata out of the room, or so he assumes. When he hears the door click shut, he peaks his head out to check if the room is empty. 

When he’s sure it is, he throws the blanket off of him and immediately grabs his clothes. He quickly shoves on his briefs to cover up the last bit of his modesty. Then he grabs the first pair of black jeans he spots on the floor. He pulls on a plain black hoodie and a flannel jacket over it. 

When he’s finally clothed, he breathes out a sigh of both relief and annoyance. He walks over to the door and yanks it open. Hinata and Shiro are standing against the wall and whispering in frantic voices. Hinata looks flustered with red tinted cheeks. He probably didn’t want to see all of that just now. Kageyama scowls. 

“I’m done. You can come back in now.”

Shiro grins and drags Hinata back in the room before shutting the door behind them.

“So, Edward, how was your day?” Shiro asks with a smug smile. 

“Fuck off,” Kageyama spits back.

“Oooh, someone’s grumpy today. Wanna come to the party? It’ll make you feel betterrr.”

“I was already going. I’m meeting up with Akaashi.”

“Ooh okay. I gotcha,” Shiro responds and wiggles his eyebrows before winking at him. 

Kageyama scoffs and rolls his eyes. As he’s about to leave, Hinata cuts him off. “We should all go together then,” Hinata says as his voice cracks. He coughs and clears his throat. 

“Fine,” Kageyama mutters and plops back onto his bed. Shiro quickly sheds his clothes and changes into a pair of light jeans and a pale yellow crew neck sweater. He slides on his beat up converse before turning to him. 

“Let’s go!” He says excitedly. Kageyama gets up from the bed and refuses to make eye contact with either of them. 

* * *

They meet up with Akaashi ten minutes later and the boy leads them towards the house. Kageyama never thought he’d be dragged to a party. He’s not sure what to expect, but he’s kind of excited. 

Shiro and Hinata are walking behind them as Akaashi walks by his side. He has a sudden thought.

“This might be a weird question, but how did Kuroo and Iwaizumi end up living together?” Kageyama asks.

“Oh, well oddly enough they ended up as suite mates freshman year and they’ve lived together ever since. Kenma and this other guy lived in their suite too, so they eventually moved off campus together,” Akaashi explains. 

Kageyama nods in understanding. A few minutes later, they’re approaching a small house with a crowd of people on the lawn. He can hear the music booming before they’ve even gone inside.

“This is a small get together?” Kageyama asks incredulously. 

Akaashi just raises his eyebrow and smirks. “It’s small to Kuroo,” he says and leads them towards the door. As soon as he steps foot in the house, he’s hit with the scent of alcohol and weed. The halls and rooms are filled with people.

Akaashi pushes forward and makes his way through the crowd towards the kitchen. Kageyama follows behind him with Shiro and Hinata on his tail. He spots Kuroo behind a counter handing out drinks and nodding his head to the music. When he spots them, his eyes light up.

“Kaashi! You made it! I didn’t think you’d actually come.” Kuroo says and moves around the counter to clap him on the shoulder. 

“Yeah, I needed a little break,” the boy responds and grabs a cup to fill. He takes a ladle in his hand and starts pouring a red drink into his cup. 

“Kageyama! Hinata! You’re here too!” Kuroo says and engulfs them in a bear hug. They choke at the sudden attack and hug him back. “Great to see my kouhai’s out having fun. Here take this,” he says and shoves solo cups into their hands. Kageyama accepts it hesitantly. 

“And who’s this?” Kuroo asks as he turns his eyes towards the other boy with them. 

“Hi, I’m Shiro, Kageyama’s roommate!” Shiro yells over the music. 

“Ahh, cool. Nice to meet you. Want some jungle juice?”

Shiro nods and takes a cup too. They all take a sip and grimace, except for Akaashi. The drink is extremely strong and Kageyama resists the urge to gag. He hears the sound of someone puking in another room. 

“Ah shit. I’ll be back, guys. Gotta go handle that. Have fun while I’m gone!” Kuroo says and sprints towards the direction of the person’s retching. Kageyama cringes and turns back towards the group. They’re all downing their drinks and Akaashi throws an arm around his shoulder. Hinata eyes them but continues sipping from the cup.

“How about a shot everyone?” Akaashi asks.

“Yes! Let’s do it!” Shiro says and nods excitedly. Akaashi let’s go of Kageyama and walks behind the counter. He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bottle of clear liquor and four shot glasses. He starts pouring their drinks and hands them out. 

They all look at each other nervously and Akaashi just smiles. 

“Just make sure you drink it in one go, okay?” Akaashi says and screws the lid back on the bottle.

They all nod and pick up the glasses. Akaashi puts out his hand with the glass and they do the same. They clink together. Akaashi taps the glass on the table before bringing it to his lips and throwing it back. He swallows all of it in one gulp and clears his throat after. They look on in astonishment and try to do the same. 

Shiro begins coughing immediately and Kageyama isn’t far behind. He barely holds back from choking and Hinata’s eyes are watering. Akaashi just laughs and runs a hand over Kageyama’s back. 

“What is this?” Shiro chokes out. 

“Vodka. That wasn’t so bad, right?” Kageyama just nods hesitantly as he feels a burning sensation travel down his throat. It hits his stomach and warms his body. “One more?” Akaashi asks and raises his eyebrows.

They all eye each other but nod anyway. “Might as well, it’s a party after all,” Hinata says and sticks his shot glass out first. 

Akaashi refills it and pours more vodka into the others. They follow the same motions and clink their glasses together, tap the table, and throw the drink back. It goes down easier this time. It doesn’t burn as much and Kageyama just accepts the warm feeling spreading through his body. 

“I’m gonna go look for Kuroo. I’ll be back in a bit,” Akaashi says when he finishes. They all nod at him as he disappears in the crowd. Hinata and Shiro go back to sipping their drinks as Kageyama stands there awkwardly. He doesn’t know anyone else here and it’s extremely crowded. He can barely move from his spot in the kitchen and suddenly, he feels overwhelmed. 

He’s never been good at socializing with new people and he glances around the room for more familiar faces. When he doesn’t see any, he starts to panic. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he yells over the music. The two boys nod at him and give him a thumbs up. Kageyama turns and wanders off in search of the bathroom. He enters the living room and it’s just as packed. There are people everywhere. Some of them are dancing and drinking, while others are making out against the wall. He frowns and continues pushing through the crowd until he reaches a hallway. 

He suddenly bumps into someone and is jolted back. A hand reaches out to steady him. 

“My bad. Oh, Kageyama. I didn’t think you’d come.”

Kageyama looks up to see Iwaizumi standing in front of him. 

“Oh, yeah. I was just looking for a bathroom.” 

“It’s down the hall on the right.”

“Thanks,” he says. Kageyama nods and moves past him. 

When he finally reaches the bathroom, he yanks the door open and walks inside. He shuts the door behind him and breathes out a sigh. He can still hear the music blasting through the door. He takes a second to breath and decides to wash his hands to calm down. He places his cup on the edge of the sink. He just needs to recollect himself. 

He finishes rinsing his hands and picks the cup up again. He takes a large gulp and looks at himself in the mirror. He feels slightly self conscious. He feels like he doesn’t fit in here, but it’s too late to leave now. He sighs again and takes another sip. It doesn’t burn anymore. He feels a slight buzz and the stress eases for a second. 

It’s just a party he thinks. He can stay for alittle bit and then leave without anyone noticing. He takes a breath and opens the door. He walks back into the crowd and tries to make his way back to the kitchen. Before he can get halfway across the room, he bumps into another person. Why does this keep happening?

He looks up to see a head of bright red hair. 

“Well, well, well if it isn’t the monster setter himself! Kageyama, right?”

“Uh, yeah..?”

“Wooohoo, miracle boyy! Funny meeting you here.”

“I guess so.. you’re Tendou, right?”

“That’s me!” The boy yells. Kageyama awkwardly smiles. He gulps down the rest of his drink to calm his nerves. He smells like weed and looks absolutely fried. “I had no idea we had such a great setter for our team. I’m assuming you play here,” he says. 

Kageyama nods. “I haven’t seen you on the team, do you still play?” 

“Nah, I left that up to Wakatoshi-kun. He’s probably off playing for the national team. I’m just here for the art program,” Tendou says proudly. Kageyama feels a shot of envy flow through him. Ushijima has always been at the top of their division. He reigns in his annoyance and tries to think of a response. 

“Oh, art is cool. What’s your major?”

“Thanks! I’m actually an illustration major. I wanna create mangas and stuff, it’s super cool. I really like Dr. Stone right now. What do you like? I need some new suggestions,” Tendou says with a giant smile.

“Oh.. uh.. I actually don’t read manga. My roommates more into that stuff.”

“What?! How can you not like manga? It’s so cool. I’ll have to change that. Oh and what does your roommate read?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t really keep track of what he reads, but we can go ask if you want?” Kageyama offers. 

“Sure! Where is he?” Tendo says and practically bounces up and down. 

“He’s this way. Just follow me,” Kageyama says. He needs another drink. 

He starts walking towards the kitchen with Tendou in tow. When he finally gets through the crowd, Shiro and Hinata are still in the same spot chatting. He walks up to them and taps on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro turns to look at him and Kageyama leans in to whisper in his ear. 

“Hey, this is Tendou. I used to play volleyball with him in high school. He likes manga and wants to know what you read.”Shiro turns to look at who he’s talking about and his eyes light up. 

“Him? Kageyama you’re a saint. Not only does he like manga, but you brought me a hot ass guy and he’s tall! Chefs kiss,” Shiro whispers back. Kageyama sputters. 

“I didn’t bring you anything, he just asked to meet you!” Kageyama whispers. Shiro totally ignores him. 

“Oh my god, I totally owe you one, Kageyama!” 

Kageyama shakes his head. “There’s really no ne-“

“I bet you got your wingman skills from me, but just watch and learn. I’m totally a casanova,” Shiro says and elbows him in the ribs. Kageyama pushes him in return and Shiro tumbles forward. He bumps into Tendou’s chest and the red head just laughs. 

“You must be the roommate!”

“Oh, yeah! T-that’s me!” Shiro says and nervously laughs. So much for casanova Kageyama thinks and rolls his eyes.

“Tendou this is Shiro, my roommate. Shiro this is Tendo. He’s an illustration major.”

“Yep! So what mangas do you read? I’m Into Dr. Stone and..”

Kageyama listens as they drift off into conversation. He turns to Hinata who’s been watching the entire exchange. 

“I’m gonna get another drink,” he says. Hinata nods.

“Me too!” 

The shorter boy follows him to the counter and they both refill their cups. Kageyama starts sipping on his drink when Hinata interrupts. 

“Wanna do another shot?” 

“Uh, sure.” Kageyama yells back. 

Hinata grabs the bottle off the counter and fills their shot glasses from earlier. They throw the drink back and grimace at the taste. Hinata laughs. 

“What, dumbasss?” Kageyama says and punches him in the arm. 

“Nothing! You were just making a funny face.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “So were you!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yeah huh!”

“Nope! I bet you won’t take another shot!”

“I will!” Kageyama yells back and grabs the bottle from his hand. He pours a shot and quickly drinks it. Hinata gawks at him and snatches the bottle back to pour his own before drinking it. 

“See, I did it!” Kageyama says.

“So did I! I won’t lose to you!” 

Kageyama glares and grabs the bottle to pour another one. It turns into them going shot for shot until Akaashi suddenly interrupts. He grabs the bottle from Hinata and drinks straight out of it. They stare at him in awe. 

“I think that’s enough for you two,” Akaashi says in a flat tone. Kageyama just nods. He lost count of how many he’s had at this point. He’s probably had around seven or eight by now and it’s definitely effecting him. The alcohol feels heavy in his stomach and his body feels completely relaxed. He can’t even think of why he was stressed earlier. 

They stand there as the music blasts in the background. Akaashi is still taking swigs from the bottle and Hinata awkwardly excuses himself. Kageyama is left alone with Akaashi. He sips his drink just to have something to do.

After a few minutes, it seems like the alcohol is finally kicking in for Akaashi. He has his eyes shut and his hand is tightly gripping the neck of the bottle. He keeps his hold on it to the point that his knuckles turn white. Kageyama starts to get worried. He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or something else. He has an inkling that it’s the latter. Kageyama panics. He brought him here to take his mind off things, but it seems like his plan backfired. 

“Akaashi,” Kageyama says and puts a hand on his arm. Akaashi opens his eyes and puts the bottle down.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay? Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything?”

“No, I’m fine..” Akaashi responds. Kageyama just nods but he feels conflicted. It’s very clear he’s not fine. Neither of them say anything for a few minutes until Akaashi finally speaks up. 

“Bokuto texted me.” 

Kageyama’s stills with the cup at his lips. He lowers his arm and looks at Akaashi. To his knowledge, Bokuto hasn’t contacted him in over a year. He wills words to come from his mouth. 

“W-what did he say?” Kageyama stutters. Akaashi doesn’t respond right away and instead, takes another swig from the bottle. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to..” His voice drifts off. 

“He asked how I’ve been.” Akaashi’s voice sounds empty. Kageyama is lost for words.He can only imagine how Akaashi feels after all this time. 

“Oh.. did you reply?” Kageyama asks timidly. He’s never been someone who’s good at dealing with emotions. 

“No,” Akaashi simply says. He doesn’t look up at him and just studies his nails. Kageyama stares at the side of his face. He doesn’t want to push Akaashi to talk about it if he doesn’t want to but at the same time, it’s clearly bothering him. He weighs his options. He could just stay silent and leave it at that, but that feels rude. Akaashi has been there for him when no one else was, it’s only fair that he does the same. 

“Did he say anything else?” Kageyama pries.

Akaashi sighs and Kageyama watches as his jaw tenses.

“He said he misses our team,” Akaashi responds and breathes out. 

Kageyama cringes. He hopes he didn’t just make it worse, especially since he doesn’t know how to respond to that. 

“Don’t you miss them too?” Kageyama asks. 

“Yeah, of course I do. I just can’t figure out why he would barge back into my life all of a sudden,” Akaashi says in a monotone voice. 

“I don’t know, honestly. You were really close and he could just want to know how you are to make sure you’re okay.” 

Akaashi snaps. “He didn’t care how I was when I called him crying, trying to apologize. So, why now?” Akaashi says miserably. 

“I’m not sure. Maybe he just needed some  time to get himself together and figure out how he feels.” Kageyama says trying to comfort him. It’s all he can do at this point and he reaches his hand out to rub his back. He moves upward and run his hands through the base of his hair like he knows Akaashi likes. Akaashi relaxes into the feeling.

“I-I have a right to be angry, right? I was doing just fine until he texted me and now, it feels like I’m falling apart all over again.” Akaashi says and looks him in the eyes. Kageyama softens. He looks so heartbroken in that moment. He wishes he could wipe that away. He moves his hand from the back of his neck to his face. Kageyama swipes his thumb across Akaashi’s face and gives him a sad smile. 

“You have a right to be angry. He abandoned you when you were just trying to make him happy. I’ve been there.  I’m sorry that he’s doing this to you and that you have to feel like this.” Kageyama says softly. 

Akaashi looks down at the ground and clenches his hand. When he looks back up, all he can see is pain. Kageyama can tell he’s spiraling out of control. He doesn’t know what else he can do other than pull the boy into a hug. Akaashi melts into his arms and grips at the back of his shirt. When he pulls back, Kageyama places a small kiss on his forehead, just like Akaashi has done so many times before. He may not be good at comforting people, but he’s good at comforting Akaashi at the very least. He learned it from him after all. 

“You’ll be okay. Maybe not right now, but I’ll be here until you are. You don’t have to respond. Let’s just enjoy tonight and think about it later.” 

Akaashi nods. “Thanks, Kageyama,” he says and gives him a peck on  the cheek. Kageyama just stares into his eyes for a few seconds, but they’re broken apart by Shiro. The sadness in Akaashi’s eyes vanish before he can blink. His calm demeanor slips back on. 

Shiro picks up the bottle and starts chugging down as much as he can.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Kageyama yells.

“Have. To. Get. More. Drunk.” Shiro says between gulps. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why?” Kageyama says and grabs the bottle out of his hands. 

“Because I have to get the courage to kiss Tendou. I should totally do it, right? I bet he’s sooooo good at it and I want him to be my first kiss.”

“You want to kiss Te-“ Kageyama starts saying. 

“First kiss?!” Hinata yells and rejoins their group.

“Yes! Kageyama is my loyal wingman and he thinks Tendo should be my first kiss!”

“I never said that!” Kageyama yells in exasperation. 

“Details, details. Not important right now. He’s soooo hot and we have the same taste in manga. What more can you ask for? Think I should do it, Hinata?” 

“Go for it!” Hinata yells and pumps his fist in the air. 

“Hell yeah!” Shiro screams. “See Kageyama? That’s what a wingman should be! You better watch out or Hinata might take your spot,” he says with a wink. Kageyama rolls his eyes. 

“I don’t care, but if you’re gonna do it, then just do it.” 

“I will.” Shiro says with determination and grabs the bottle to take one last gulp.

Kageyama smacks himself on the forehead. This is not how he expected the night to turn out.

“If you throw up, I’m not carrying you back to the damn dorm,” Kageyama says. 

“I’m not a lightweight! I’m not gonna throw up!”

“How would you know if you’re a lightweight? This is the first time you’re drinking,” Kageyama jabs back 

“Shhh. I’m gonna go seduce him,” Shiro says and pushes off of the counter. He sways slightly and stumbles towards Tendou. Kageyama shuts his eyes. This idiot.

He watches as Shiro walks up to Tendou and attempts to flirt with him with shitty pickup lines. Tendou just giggles and smirks down at him. Suddenly, Tendou leans down and seals their lips in a kiss. Shiro jumps in surprise but immediately kisses him back. Kageyama watches as Tendou turns their bodies so that he’s pushing Shiro up against the wall. Kageyama’s face heats up and he looks away from the pair making out. The little shit actually did it.

When he looks up, Kuroo has finally made his way back into the kitchen. He spots their group and walks over to them.

“How about a drinking game?!” Kuroo suggests. Akaashi and Hinata nod. “Great! Let’s get some people in the living room!” He walks off and they follow him. Shiro breaks away from the kiss and spots them leaving the kitchen. Tendou and Shiro follow along. 

Kuroo clears a space in the middle of the living room and they sit down. It seems like a few of Kuroo’s friends are joining them too. They sit in a circle. Kenma and Iwaizumi have also magically appeared to join them. 

Kageyama is sitting beside Hinata and Shiro, while Kenma and Tendou sit next to Kuroo across from them. Akaashi is next to Kenma and Iwaizumi. The others fill in the empty spaces. 

“Alright, everyone! We’re gonna start with a classic, never have I ever. If you don’t know how to play, then all I have to say is you’ve been living under a rock. However, as your kind host, I guess I’ll explain. We’re going to go around the circle and one person will say something they’ve never done. If can be as wild or tame as you want it to be. If you’ve done it, you put a finger down and take a shot. Then the next person will go and so on. Everyone has five fingers, so if you run out, you win. Got it?” The group nods. “I’ll start. Never have I ever gone skinny dipping.” 

Kageyama raises his hand, but doesn’t put any fingers down. He watches at Akaashi and Tendou put their fingers down and take a shot though. Kageyama raises his eyebrows at Akaashi but he just shrugs. Tendou is next. 

“Never have I ever been arrested.” Kageyama looks around the group and no one puts their finger down. The next person is a girl he saw earlier. 

“Never have I ever smoked weed,” she says shyly. Tendou, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma put their fingers down. The round continues. 

“Never have I ever broken a bone,” a blonde boy says. Shiro and Iwaizumi put their finger down and take a shot.

“Never have I ever fainted,” another girl says. Kenma and Shiro put another finger down and take a shot. 

“Never have I ever cheated on someone,” a brunette boy says. A few fingers go down and Kageyama raises his eyebrows in surprise. The game continues. 

“Never have I ever kissed someone in this room,” a girl says. 

Kageyama almost didn’t put a finger down until he remembered his kiss with Akaashi. He slowly lowers his finger and watches as Tendou, Akaashi, Kuroo, Shiro, and Kenma do the same. They pass the bottle around to take their shots. As Hinata passes it to him, the boy gives him a look. It’s somewhere between disbelief and something else he can’t put his finger on. The look is gone before he can say anything and Hinata shoves the bottle at him before looking forward. Kageyama is too drunk to think anything of it and pours his shot. Just as the next person is about to go, he hears Shiro gag. Kageyama jolts and turns to him. He looks like he’s about to be sick. 

Shiro quickly jumps up and sprints down the hall to the bathroom. Kageyama gets up to follow after him. He sees Shiro empty his stomach into the toilet bowl. Kageyama sneers in disgust. 

When Shiro is finished, he wipes his mouth with his arm and wobbles to get up. Kageyama grabs him before he can fall over and helps him to the sink. Shiro washes his hands and rinses his mout before trying to go back out to the party. Kageyama stops him.

“I think we should call it a night. You’re trashed right now.”

“Noooooo. I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” Kageyama states. “Let’s go,” he says and guides him out of the bathroom. He slings Shiro’s arm around his shoulder. They hobble back into the living room. 

“I think we’re gonna head back. Thanks for inviting us, Kuroo.”

Kuroo nods. “Be safe!” 

“Text me, Shiro-kun!” Tendou yells after them. As they reach the door, Shiro’s weight suddenly eases. Hinata grabbed his other arm and helps to left Shiro. Kageyama gives him a look.

“You don’t have to help. I got this. You can stay at the party,” Kageyama says. 

“Nah, it was getting boring anyway,” Hinata replies.

They drag Shiro out of the doorway and down the street. By the time they’re at the dorm building, they’re both exhausted. Kageyama didn’t realize how heavy a drunk person could be. He swipes his card to get in the building and pulls Shiro towards the elevator. He hopes they don’t run into any RA’s tonight. 

When they get inside the elevator, they rest against the wall but Shiro slips from Kageyama’s grasp. He crashes onto the floor with a grunt and just lays there. Kageyama sighs and tries to lean down to help him get back up but he insists on staying there. He’s way too drunk for this bullshit. 

As he stands back up, he hears Hinata clear his throat. 

“So, you’ve kissed someone?” 

Kageyama sighs again. He really didn’t feel like talking about that in his state, especially with the person he has feelings for. Kageyama opens his mouth to respond, “Yeah.” 

Hinata is silent for a second. “It was someone in the room?”

“Yeah, can we talk about this later once we get Shiro back in the room?”

“He’s on the floor right now, he’ll be fine. Who did you kiss?” Hinata asks more insistently this time. 

“I-“ 

Shiro gags again when the elevator quickly comes to a stop. The doors ding as they open and Shiro jumps up. Kageyama is both amazed by his sudden ability to move and horrified that he might puke again. Shiro rushes out of the elevator and down the hall towards their room. Kageyama chases after him and quickly shoves his card in the door. Once it’s open, Shiro stumbles into the room and pukes in Kageyama’s trash can. Kageyama groans. Why did it have to be his bin?

He bends down and soothingly runs his hand over his back. Hinata eventually catches up and walks into the room. He shuts the door behind him as Kageyama helps Shiro to his feet. He guides him towards the bed so Shiro can lay down. He grabs Shiro’s trash can and sets it beside the bed incase he has to throw up again. 

Shiro makes a noise and Kageyama jumps back thinking he’s about to puke. Instead, he starts making smooching sounds and purses his lips. Kageyama looks towards Hinata in horror. The other boy just stares back at him in confusion. 

“Kissy kissy for me..” Shiro slurs and reaches his hand out before letting if flop over the side of the bed. The room is silent for a second until Shiro makes another long smooching sound. Hinata suddenly bursts out laughing. Kageyama choked and covers his mouth. He can barely hold back the laugh that escapes from his mouth. He collapses on the ground and laughs until his stomach hurts. Hinata is rolling around on the floor wheezing. They both look at each other and break into another fit of laughter. 

“What the fuck Shiro?” Kageyama says between his giggles. He can barely breathe. 

“Oh my god. Did you hear the sounds he was making?” Hinata asks with tears in his eyes. Kageyama can only nod as he continues laughing. 

When they finally calm down, Kageyama clutches his stomach. He can’t remember the last time he laughed like that. It was probably just the alcohol, but tonight turned out better than he expected. There was a lot to remember to say the least. 

Kageyama eventually gets up and turns towards his own trash can. Shiro is knocked out cold. He cringes as he pulls out the bag and ties it. He opens the door to throw it out in the garbage room on their floor. When he comes back, Hinata is nestled in his bed. He looks sound asleep. Kageyama sighs and strips off his jacket and pants until he’s left in his hoodie and briefs. He climbs into the bed beside Hinata and faces away from him. 

As he settles into sleep, he thinks about the boy laying next to him. It feels like they’re actually friends again after tonight. The ice between them has thawed and the cold has receded. The slippery road towards normalcy is finally within reach. It feels like flowers are blooming brilliantly. 

Just as his mind is slipping into unconsciousness he hears a tiny voice mumble next to him. “I like you, Tobio... nice... nice abs,” the voice slurs. His heart flutters as he falls asleep. He’s way too drunk for this to be real. 

Neither of them remember anything the next morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holyyyy shitttt this chapter was a monster to write. stoner tendou and akaashi are my fav ngl. i just had to include him in here. also, my boy shiro finally got his first kiss omg!! i originally had more planned to fit into the chapter to finish this arc sooner, but alas i’m gonna put it in the next two chapters. fair warning, the college part of the story is going to wrap up soon. let me know your thoughts on this part of the story! i realize a lot has happened and i want to hear your thoughts on all of it! 
> 
> also, i apologize for taking a while to update. i started classes this week and it’s been extremely hectic with college. going forward, updates may take a little while, but i’m going to try my best to stay on top of it. my goal is to post once a week. as always, thank you for everyone’s support! - daisy


	25. Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is calm and the world is beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello if anyone knows me personally pls don’t read this chapter lmao i’m so embarrassed ahh

Since that drunken night at Kuroo’s house party, Kageyama has sworn off drinking until his first match is over. He woke up confused and with Shiro whining his ear off that he was hungry. Hinata was nowhere in sight. Add to that, the hangover he got the next day was enough to keep him away for at least a couple weeks. It’s not like he has time to drink either way. If he’s not studying or at Akaashi’s apartment, he’s most likely practicing with Hinata in the gym. With every practice that passes by, it seems like Hinata was right in claiming that he’d be on the court by next semester. Coach Niigata seems to think so too. He’s put Hinata in more drills and practice matches lately.

Kageyama is pleased with their progress as a whole. Hinata is far from the clumsy player he saw on the court in middle school. Kageyama is walking into the locker room when Hinata bursts in.

“Kageyama-kun, can you believe this is our first game in college?”

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “It’s my first game, idiot. You still haven’t caught up like you said you would.”

Hinata pouts and jabs him in the side with a finger. “I will though and then you’ll be begging to set to me,” he says and crosses his arms. He lifts his head smugly and Kageyama just jabs him back. Hinata whines in response.

“Sure,” Kageyama says and tosses his bag on the bench by his locker. The other players haven’t shown up yet, so he pulls his phone out. He’s surprisingly early for once.

Kageyama opens his conversation with Shiro and starts typing away.

’R u coming to the game? U don’t have to ik ur busy with exams next week’ Kageyama taps the send button. His phone vibrates with a text within a few seconds.

‘nah i have a lot of work to do but i’ll deff be at the next one. good luck roomie ٩( 'ω' )و’

Kageyama slightly smiles at the screen before typing out a response.  
‘Ok’ He sends and locks his phone.

Kageyama shoves his phone in the side of his bag and starts stripping his clothes off. Hinata apparently wandered off to his own locker while he was texting.  
Kageyama pulls the dark blue and white uniform on. The colors feel unfamiliar, but it’s nice to finally wear them for an official match. He smooths the jersey out and tucks the loose hem of it into his shorts. He folds his clothes and gently places them into the locker with his bag before shutting it.

He can hear Hinata rustling around in the next row of lockers. Kageyama strides forward and turns the corner to see Hinata struggling to pull the jersey over his head. He’s a tangle of limbs and pale skin. Kageyama quickly turns his head to the side and feels heat rise to his face.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He says in a higher pitched voice than he intended.

“The-.. jersey.. won’t go over-.. my head,” Hinata says as he wrestles with the piece of clothing. Kageyama watches out of the corner of his eye as he tries to shove his head in the arm hole. He sighs and moves forward before he can think about it.

“Oh my god, what’re you five? Can you not get changed on your own?” Kageyama hisses and grasps the end of the shirt before pulling it to the side so his head can slip through the neck hole. The bright orange head of hair finally pops through and Hinata stares up at him in embarrassment. He yanks the jersey the rest of the way down and turns back towards the locker.

“I can get changed on my own! The jersey is just tight, so it was hard to get on!” Hinata says in defense. Kageyama raises his eyebrow at him. He’s not wrong. It is definitely tighter than he was used to in high school. The shirt clings to his chest and arms, even on Hinata. It looks.. nice on him he thinks. Kageyama stares at the number on his back for a second. A large white ten is emblazoned on the jersey. He glances down at the nine on his own.

He tries his best to resist the smile the tugs at his lips. He turns towards the door to the gym and doesn’t look back.

“Come on, boke. Let’s warm up,” he says and pushes the door open. Hinata slams the locker shut as a few team members file into the locker room after them.

Kageyama’s sneakers squeak as he walks across the hardwood floor. They’re finally using the volleyball stadium rather than their practice gym. He breathes in the scent of aerosol and glances around the open seats surrounding the court. There are a few people who have already filed in for the game. He eyes scan across the stands and stops on a bright red head of hair. The person locks eyes with him and waves fervently. Kageyama jogs towards them.

“Kageyama!” The voice echoed through the stadium as he skips down the steps to the railing. Kageyama looks up at him and waves.

“Hi, Tendou. I didn’t know you were coming to our game,” he says.

“Of course! Kuroo told me about it and I have to support my friends,” Tendou responds with a bright smile. As it turns out, Tendou is the fourth roommate in the house with Kenma, Iwaizumi, and Kuroo.

“Oh, okay cool.” Kageyama says and nods.

“Mhm. Where’s your roooomatee?” Tendou asks and drags out the word. Kageyama let’s out a small chuckle. Everything from that night is fuzzy, but he can remember up until that sloppy kiss Shiro pulled off.

“He’s studying or something I think,” Kageyama responds.

“Oh, that’s unfortunate. I was hoping I’d see him here.” Tendou says with a playful smile and glances around.

“Yeah, I thought he was coming too.”

“Oh well. Make sure you crush them out there, Kageyama-kun.” Tendou says and gives him a wolfish grin. Kageyama resists the urge to shiver. That look brings him back to high school all over again. He just nods and gives a thumbs up before walking away.

The rest of the team is still slowly trickling into the gym and Kageyama decides to quickly go back to the locker room before warming up. He strides over to his locker and pulls out his phone.

‘Are you sure you’re too busy to come to the match?’ He types out. He stands and waits for a response for a few seconds. His phone pings.

‘yee, i think so. i’m so behind in accounting.’

‘Oh okay. I just wanted to check bc Tendou is here.’ Kageyama says and starts typing out another message. Shiro texts back before he can send it though.

‘what?’

‘I’ll let u get back to ur studying though.’

‘Tendou is here for the game. I just saw him in the stands.’ Kageyama sends. He’s about to lock his phone when he gets another text.

‘my schedule is suddenly clear i’m on my way rn’

Kageyama let’s out a loud laugh and slaps a hand over his mouth. His teammates give him a weird look but turn back to getting changed.

‘What about accounting?’

‘fuck accounting. that can wait, but my man can’t’

Kageyama chuckles again before typing back. ‘Who says he’s ur man?’

‘me. duh. go back to knocking balls around or whatever u do’

Kageyama rolls his eyes. ‘Whatever. See u there’ He texts and shoves his phone back in his bag.

When he enters the gym again, the stadium has filled with more people. He sees Akaashi sitting in the lower row of seats. Kageyama waves at him and the older boy smiles and waves back. Kageyama smiles and jogs over to Hinata. The boys eyes are glued to Akaashi until Kageyama waves a hand in front of his face.

“C’mon let’s warm up.”

* * *

“Nice serve, Kageyama!”

Kageyama takes in a deep breath and bounces the ball against the hard wood floor.

“One more, Kageyama-kun!” He hears Hinata’s voice yell from the sideline. He steadies himself and tightens his grip. They’re at match point and he can feel his body vibrating with anticipation. He’s so close to taking home his first win in a college match. The referee blows the whistle and Kageyama tosses the ball forward. He runs forward and leaps into the air. For a split second, he can see exactly where he wants to pin point his serve. He swings his arm forward and let’s out a grunt as the ball makes contact with his hand. The ball rips through the air and soars towards the gap in the back row. It slams onto the ground with a resounding smack as his feet land on the court.

The stadium is quiet until the referee loudly blows the whistle. Cheers resound throughout the stadium and he feels his teammates slam into him. Hinata was the first to reach him and has latched himself into his back. Kuroo and the other players on the court gather around him in a large huddle.

He can hear the commentators going off in the background. “The superstar setter, Kageyama Tobio, of Kyoto University has done it again! His fifth service ace of the match has sealed their first win of the season against Tokyo Tech, a powerhouse in their own right. Although he’s only a freshman, he’s definitely one to watch out for at playoffs! Let’s go down to our colleague live on the court for an interview.”

Kageyama is whisked away from the huddle by his coach.

“Kageyama, there are a few reporters who want to interview you. Just smile and answer a few questions,” Coach Niigata whispers in his ear. Kageyama nods as he’s led over to the group of reporters.

They turn towards him and hold out a microphone. The cameras turn to face him. Kageyama gulps nervously. He’s never been interviewed before and he wasn’t expecting to today.

“Hello! I’m Ito Aiko with Fuji News Network. Here with me today is Kageyama Tobio of Kyoto University. We just witnessed his first win again Tokyo Tech. What a great match. Kageyama, how’re you feeling after your first official game in college?” A woman with a slicked back pony tail asks.

“Oh.. um.. I’m feeling good. I’m very happy that we won,” he says between breaths. He awkwardly shifts from foot to foot. He still feels winded from the game and running around the entire time.

“Of course, congratulations. You were definitely the MVP for today’s match. How did it feel to score that winning point alongside your other service aces?”

“It.. um.. feels really great. I worked hard leading up to this match and practiced my serves consistently. Scoring service aces feels so satisfying, especially at match point against a tough team,” he says. He hopes his answers aren’t boring. His brain is scrambling to come up with something to say.

“I can tell. You seemed laser focused on that last serve and it paid off. So, how does it feel competing with such a high level team? How do you plan to continue this success in the future?”

“It’s amazing. I wouldn’t have been able to pull off that win without them or their support. We have so many great players on and off the court. I think you’ll see that in future matches. Until the next match, all we can do is continue to work hard and face the next team in front of us.” Kageyama says and thinks of Hinata’s bright smile and ridiculously high jump.

“Very true. We look forward to seeing the rest of Kyoto’s matches, especially at playoffs. One final question, you’re clearly a very talented setter at the college level. Where do you see yourself after college?”

Kageyama hesitates for a few seconds before responding. “Oh, um I actually plan on playing at the professional level. I hope to join a V.League team and go from there.”

“Amazing! We hope to see you in the pro leagues and best of luck going forward!”

“Thank you,” Kageyama responds and bows. The woman turns back to the camera and finishes off the interview. A few other reporters ask him similar questions. After ten minutes, they’ve finally finished up and he’s free to go back to the team. His teammates are chatting with people in the stands and he spots Hinata talking to Akaashi, Tendou, and Shiro. He jogs up to them.

“Tobi! You never told me you were that good! You totally killed it out there!” Shiro shouts enthusiastically.

“Oh, uh thanks.” Kageyama says and rubs his arm.

“You should’ve told me sooner. I could’ve bragged about having a superstar roommate!”

“I’m not a superstar, dumbass.” Kageyama says and rolls his eyes.

“It sure looks like it. All those reports were swarming around you.”

“I guess so..” Kageyama says timidly. He doesn’t want to brag about stuff like that.

“They totally were, but you crushed them out there, Kageyama-kun. I’m proud,” Tendou says and gives him a thumbs up. Kageyama awkwardly smiles back and gives him a thumbs up too.

“Yeah, great job, Kageyama. That back set was amazing. It’s improved a lot since high school,” Akaashi says with a gentle smile. Kageyama turns and smiles softly.

“Thanks, Akaashi,” he says. It’s nice to hear from someone he used to look up to as a setter. Hinata has been nodding along the entire time with a proud grin.

“That’s our genius setter. I’m gonna be on the court soon too!” Hinata says and bounces up and down. Kageyama feels a flush rise on his cheeks.

Shiro nods excitedly. “I’ll come out to your game, just let me know when.”

Hinata nods back and reaches up to give him a high five.

“Kageyama, Hinata! Coach wants to have a meeting!” Kuroo shouts from the door of the locker room. They both nod and turn away from their friends.

“Bye, guys! Let’s have some dinner after to celebrate!” Tendou says.

“Okay!” Hinata shouts and jogs towards the door. Kageyama waves at them and jogs after him.

* * *

On the last day before spring break, they have another match. It comes a week after their first match, and they’re able to secure another win before heading home. It feels like he’s finally back in the groove of things and his confidence has returned. During their first match, he was so worried about messing up again. He felt like he was agonizing over every set and serve he did. He wanted to make everything perfect and in the end, it worked out because they won. In this match though, he toned it down and just focused on the game. He was able to flow with the team and play at his best without so much pressure on his back. Of course he wanted to win this game too, but he felt relieved knowing he already had at least one game under his belt.

Kageyama feels exhausted as he packs his bag in his dorm. He was planning to take a train with Hinata back to Miyagi tonight. He slowly shoves clothes into his bag. He yawns and plops onto his bed. He just wants to close his eyes for a little bit before he has to leave.

As he’s relaxing into the bed and drifting asleep, the door slams open. Shiro and Hinata burst into the room. Kageyama groans and tries to turn away from them.

“Kageyama, I’m gonna miss you! What am I gonna do without you here?” Shiro whines.

“I’m literally only going home for a week.” Kageyama mumbles against his pillow.

“Still!” Shiro insists.

“Tch. Go play your switch or make out with Tendou for all I care. You’ll have the room to yourself.”

“Oh my god. That’s a great idea. You’re a true wingman until the end.” Shiro says with a laugh.

“Sure, whatever but I swear to God you better keep it on your side of the room.” Kageyama threatens.

“I would never dare to defile your sacred half of the room like that.” Shiro says and winks at Hinata. Hinata starts laughing loudly and Kageyama rolls over in his bed to glare at both of them. Hinata snaps his mouth shut and looks away innocently.

“We should get going so we’re not late for the train,” Hinata says.  
Kageyama groans again. He just wanted to rest for two seconds. His body is tired from the match and his brain is basically on autopilot after taking midterms all week. He forces himself out of the bed anyway and snatches his bag up.

“Let’s go then,” he says and starts walking towards the door.

The train ride is long and boring. Kageyama tries to stay awake for as long as he can, but he can feel his eye lids drooping. Hinata is still awake beside him, but he just can’t keep his eyes open any longer. Kageyama leans his head back and shuts them before letting out a long sigh. He feels drowsiness creep up on him immediately, as he’s pulled into the tides of unconsciousness. His body relaxes and his head slightly lulls to the side.

Hinata is sitting on his phone when he feels a weight fall onto his shoulder. He tries not to move too much as he glances to the side. He sees a head of silky black hair pressed against his shoulder and neck. He can’t tell if Kageyama is awake. He isn’t sure if he did it on purpose or if he just fell asleep like that, but his heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest. Kageyama smells like an ocean breeze, or whatever scent it is that he uses for shampoo. Hinata resists the urge to snuggle against the head of jet black hair and take in the scent. Instead, he sits stock still and focuses on breathing. It feels like his body suddenly forgot how to do that and now he has to manually force himself to inhale and exhale.

Hinata continues tapping on his phone to distract himself from the boy leaning on his shoulder. He misses having moments like this all of the time. Back then, it felt like he had Kageyama all to himself. These days, it feels like he’s always sharing him with someone. If it isn’t Shiro then it’s Akaashi or one of their other friends. He doesn’t necessarily mind, but he knows he’s selfish. He’s always been a little greedy with the things he loves, whether it’s meat buns or sets. When he gets a taste of something, he wants more and more of it. He knows he can’t do that with Kageyama though. He’ll never be able to have him fully, not in the way he wants at least and not with the way things are right now. Hinata feels stuck between the world of friendship and something more.

When they’re close like this, he can almost pretend they’re together. Kageyama will wake up at any second and he’ll look at him like that night on the roof. He’ll lean in close and press their lips together. Hinata will melt into the kiss and embrace the warmth that comes with it. Yet, that’s just not the truth. They aren’t together and his imagination isn’t even close to the reality he’s in. Kageyama doesn’t like guys. He doesn’t like him and he knows that for a fact. He heard it himself. When he thinks back to that day, he thinks of the words that spilled from Kageyama’s lips.

“We’re not like that.”

It makes Hinata’s heart cold. Not like what? Not gay? Not more than friends? Does he not like guys or does he not like him? He’s not even sure if he’s gay himself. He likes just about anyone. Whatever the case may be, it’s nothing good for his heart. It feels sharp and painful in his chest. Of course, Kageyama wouldn’t want to be with another boy. Not everyone is as lucky as Tsukki and Yamaguchi. He’s never even had his first kiss and he wants to kiss Kageyama so much it hurts. He wishes he could lean down and just do it, but he would never cross Kageyama’s boundaries like that.

When he thinks of first kisses and Kageyama, it tickles a memory at the back of his mind. For some reason, he can’t push away the feeling that something is missing. He just can’t remember what. He remembers some kind of discussion about a kiss, but why would he be talking about that? Was it Shiro? Hinata thinks it may have something to do with that, but it all feels fuzzy in his brain.

Then there’s the issue of Akaashi. He’s always liked the older boy, but something about their friendship just bothers him. He can’t kick the feeling that there’s more to them than he’s aware of. Akaashi suddenly showed up in Kageyama’s life and they’ve been attached at the hip ever since. Akaashi is always looking after him like a mother hen. They seem extremely close in a different way than with Shiro. It almost reminds him of himself or Akaashi’s friendship with Bokuto. Why though? Why are they so close? Hinata has a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with the memories that refuse to resurface in his mind.

The memory teases at his brain and just as he thinks he’s about to remember, the train jolts to a stop. Kageyama falls forward and his body shifts onto his lap. Hinata’s brain goes into panic mode and his breath catches in his throat. He has no idea what to do for a second and just jumps up from his seat. In the midst of scrambling around, Hinata knees Kageyama in the side of his face.

Kageyama jumps awake and his head whips around in confusion.

“What the hell is going on?” He says with his eyes barely open. He runs a hand over his cheek and tries to sit up.

“Oh... uhhhh.. I think we’re here.”

“Oh.” Kageyama says in a drowsy voice. He still seems like he’s half asleep. He sits up and rubs his eyes and jaw. “My face hurts,” he whines. “I blame Kuroo for bumping into me to get that block.”

Hinata chuckles awkwardly. “Haha.. yeah that must be it.”

Kageyama gets up from his seat and drags his feet as they exit the train. Hinata walks beside him and stares straight ahead. That was a close call. When he looks over to check on Kageyama, he’s gone.

* * *

Kageyama woke with a jolting pain in his jaw and a violent urge to pee. He has no idea what’s going on other than the fact that the train finally came to a stop. He blearily makes his way off the train and follows Hinata through the station. As he’s walking, he spots a sign for a bathroom. In his sleep addled brain, he just wanders off before he can even think of telling Hinata. He just needs to pee and if he doesn’t go right this second, he’ll end up peeing on the floor.

He yanks the door open to the bathroom and proceeds to a urinal. He drank so much water today during the match and it’s finally caught up with him. The long train ride didn’t help the situation either.

When he’s done, he washes his hands before wandering out of the bathroom. He suddenly realizes he’s not with Hinata. He hopes he’s still where he left him. He looks around for the short boy. When he doesn’t see him, he looks around again. He’s nowhere in sight. Kageyama sighs and reaches for his pocket to pull his phone out. He’s about to text Hinata when he hears a panicked voice calling out for him.

“Kageyama! Where are you? Kageyama! Come out!”

Kageyama watches as Hinata whips his head around in panic and yells for him. Kageyama just stands there and watches in amusement. He’s not sure why he would resort to screaming in a crowded train station when they both have phones. He finally decides to end the boys suffering and call out to him.

“Hinata-boke! I’m right here!” He yells.  
Hinata’s head whips around and he sprints towards him.

“Where did you go? I was so worried you got lost.” Hinata says in concern and stares up at him with wide eyes. _Cute_.

“I just went to the bathroom. I was about to piss myself after that train ride.”

“Oh, well you should’ve told me, baka! Who just walks off like that?”

“Me.” Kageyama responds and starts walking off. “Why didn’t you just call me?”

“My phone is dead, dummy! I thought I lost you!”

“Well, I’m right here, so stop worrying. Let’s go.”

Hinata sighs and follows after him. His mom was already here to pick them up. They both settle into the car and relax. His mom pesters them with questions about their first semester at college but eventually relents once she sees how tired they are.

Kageyama somehow falls asleep during the brief car ride towards their houses. Hinata kicks his foot to try to wake him up, but Kageyama is dead asleep again. Hinata kicks him harder this time and Kageyama’s eyes barely open.

“Mmm?” Kageyama hums and slightly lifts his head from the seat.

“Do you just want to sleep over? You keep falling asleep. My mom can drop you off tomorrow.”

“Mhmm,” Kageyama says and leans his head back again. Hinata sighs. _This idiot._ He’s so painfully _cute_.

When they get back to the house, Hinata has to practically shake him awake this time. Kageyama yawns and slowly gets out of the car. He follows behind Hinata in a stupor until they’re in the house and up in his room. Kageyama starts stripping out of his clothes in his daze and collapses in Hinata’s bed with only boxers on.

Hinata can do nothing but stand there and stare at the half naked boy in his bed. He doesn’t even think he’s breathing at this point. All he can think is hot boy and naked chest. He turns to go splash water on his face to cool down his over excited body, but ends up bumping into the door. He lets out a quiet groan and looks back to see if Kageyama is still asleep. He makes a whiney noise and Hinata watches as his muscles shift as he rolls over. He’s not even under the blanket and his entire body is basically exposed. Of course it is, he thinks to himself. Hinata screams internally. It feels like the universe is truly testing him today. Hinata shuts his eyes in embarrassment. _What the fuck is he doing to me?_

Hinata quickly moves around the door and hurries down the hall. He quietly shuts the door behind him. He needs to get rid of the blood rushing towards the lower half of his body. He takes a slow breath in and tries to calm himself. It’s just Kageyama and he’s just half naked in his bed. The thought seems to make his situation worse. He can’t believe this right now. He’s popping a boner at the thought of his best friend and Kageyama is sleeping down the hall.

Hinata shuts his eyes and tries to will it away, but the more he thinks about Kageyama’s soft skin and the tight muscle that outlines his body, the worse it gets. His breathing feels short and rushed. He presses his body against the door frame and sinks to the floor. It’s not like this is the first time it’s happened, but it’s the first time Kageyama’s been here when it did. It just won’t go away.

His hand travels down his body and sinks towards his thighs. He feels himself aching and his breath catches in his throat. He imagines the bare chest that he’s seen in glimpses in the locker room. He imagines the tight abs below that and the sharp lines leading into the waistband of his shorts.

Hinata chokes at the thought and moves his hand up higher on his thigh. He shouldn’t be doing this he thinks to himself. Kageyama would be so disgusted with him if he knew, but he can’t stop himself. His fingers inch up higher and heat flares as the light touch tingles through his sweatpants.

He imagines the toned arms and veiny hands that are always on display. He feels himself twitch at the thought and he breaks. He loosely grips himself through the rough material of the sweatpants and can hardly hold back a groan. He bites his lip as he imagines Kageyama’s hand in his place. He tightens his grip around himself and stutters out a breath of relief. He teases himself through the rough material. His fingers tremble as they curl around his waistband to pull down his sweatpants and boxers.

He gasps as he feels the cool air come in contact with his skin. Hinata hesitantly wraps a hand around his length and runs his thumb across the slit of the aching head.

He feels so sensitive and he desperately wants to relieve the pressure building in his gut. He tightens his grip and pretends it’s a much larger hand touching him like this. He slowly strokes from base to tip and lets the precum coat his palm. His hand moves back down suffocatingly slow and he stops himself from making a noise.

Hinata picks up the pace of his strokes and throws his head back to rest against the door. He lets out a silent moan and imagines Kageyama’s large body looming over him, pressing himself against his body, running those hands over him. He imagines the deep blue eyes that would pierce into his and the black strands of hair that would hang in his face.

Hinata bites his lip and let’s out a low groan as he pumps himself faster. Sparks of pleasure spread up his spine. Heat spreads through him and his stomach tightens. He hasn’t done this in so long. His roommate never leaves the room and he feels so desperate after seeing Kageyama so close.

Hinata imagines how big Kageyama’s dick would be rubbing against his own. He almost cums at the thought. He thinks of him grinding against his body on the bed Kageyama’s slept on so many times before. He feels the knot in his stomach grow and his eyebrows furrow in concentration.

The Kageyama in his mind leans in close and his lips slide against the exposed skin on his neck. He nibbles and sucks on the base of his neck before moving towards his jaw. Hinata moves his fist faster and grips tighter on his shaft. He’s so close.

Kageyama moves higher and presses their lips together in a messy kiss. He feels his tongue slip into his mouth and spit spreads across his lips. He’s imagined those lips so many times. Soft and slightly chapped kissing him, sucking on him, biting him.

Hinata shudders and his thighs tense up in anticipation. Kageyama’s lithe fingers finally reach down to grip both of them in his grasp. He starts stroking furiously and thrusting into his own hand.

Kageyama makes a whining noise that comes from the back of his throat like he did earlier. Hinata’s mind goes blank.  
Kageyama leans in closer and hovers over his ear. He continues groaning and pumping their lengths. The slick noises sound so lewd in his ears and Hinata lets out a barely stifled moan. His jaw clenches. Kageyama is close and ruts against him. His face is flushed and his hair sticks to his forehead. His eyes have darkened as they stare into Hinata’s.

His body feels like it’s about to snap and Kageyama’s head falls onto his shoulder. His breathing comes out in heavy pants and he feels his hot breath on his ear. Kageyama bites at his ear lobe and Hinata moans pushing himself further into the tight grip.

His entire body is shaking at this point and he’s breathing heavily. Hinata whimpers and Kageyama whispers in his ear, “ _Shouyou_..” The deep timbre of his voice whispers over and over again just for him.

“Hnnng.. Kagey-ah-..ma.. I lo-”

  
The tension in his stomach breaks and they both cum loudly. Hot white strands spilling over his hand. It’s everything he’s ever wanted but never had.

Hinata pants as he comes down from his high and stares down at his wrecked state. He feels disgust shoot through him. He can’t believe he just did that while imagining Kageyama. He grimaces at the mess in his hand. He feels so desperate and pathetic as he stands up to clean himself off. He pulls his boxers and sweatpants back up.

He turns the faucet on and furiously scrubs at his hands under the hot water. After a few minutes, he deems himself clean and shuts the tap off. He shuts off the light and quietly walks down the hall.

When he enters his room again, Kageyama is still facing the wall on top of the sheets. Hinata tip toes over to the bed and pulls the sheets up over him. He feels dirty sleeping in the same bad after doing that. He sinks onto the mattress anyway. He’s worn out after all of his activities today. He faces away from Kageyama and shuts his eyes. He feels the bed shift and Kageyama shuffles around. He slings his arm over Hinata’s side. Hinata stills and holds his breath. Kageyama pulls him in tighter and firmly holds his grip on him. He presses his body against his back and Hinata gasps. Kageyama let’s out a sigh of content and snuggles his face against his hair. He is so fucked.

* * *

The next morning, Natsu bursts into the room and startles them both awake. Kageyama jumps up and in his movement, knocks Hinata off the bed. Hinata groans from the floor and blearily opens his eyes to stare around the room.  
“Yama!” Natsu yells and launches herself over her brothers body. She jumps onto the bed and into Kageyama’s arms. She tightly wraps herself around him and hugs him. Kageyama is slightly surprised after being suddenly woken up but hugs her back anyway.

“Hi, Natsu.” He mumbles, his voice thick with sleep.

“I didn’t know you were staying over. I missed you!”

“I missed you too.” Kageyama says truthfully. He hasn’t seen her in so long. He runs a hand up and down her back. She’s gotten so big in the short time he’s been gone. She’s in middle school now and Kageyama almost feels sad seeing her grow up so quickly. He remembers meeting her for the first time and how tiny she was.

“Come downstairs! Mom made us breakfast!” She announces loudly. Kageyama just nods as Hinata sits up. Hinata shakes his head at them, but stands. They get off the bed and follow him downstairs.

* * *

The rest of break follows in a similar fashion. They spend most of the week at each other’s houses, always by each other’s side. They make a few trips to the cafe and even spend a day with Yamaguchi and Tsukki. They’re both home from break too and they catch up while playing video games. They ordered pizza and spent the evening chatting about college. Yamaguchi complained about his roommate being weird and mean to him. Tsukki says he just ignores his roommate and Hinata says he’s somewhat close with his. Kageyama tells them about Shiro and his shenanigans.

It’s a nice reprieve from the strenuous cycle of exams and practice. Kageyama embraces the familiarity of being home and seeing his close friends. At the end of break, Kageyama makes time to see Tsukki before he leaves. They decide to meet up at the park by their houses like they have so many times before.  
“So, how’re you and Yamaguchi?”

“We’re doing alright. It’s hard with the distance, but we make it work. It’s definitely manageable, but it’s not easy either. You can only do so much with video chatting and texting,” Tsukki responds.

Kageyama nods. “That’s good. I knew you guys would stay together.”

Tsukki hums and swings his legs as they sit. “So, how’re you and Hinata then? I’m assuming you guys are friends again, how did that happen?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. He spent the first month avoiding me, so I was forced to make new friends. One of them is Akaashi actually. Then, one day, he just started being nice again and apologized for ignoring me. He said he wanted to make it up to me and things basically went back to normal.” Kageyama says.

“That’s weird. I still don’t understand why he cut you off all of a sudden.”

“Neither do I to be honest. I’m just glad we’re on good terms again.”

“I’ll take that to mean you still haven’t confessed then.” Tsukki says in a bored tone.

“Of course I haven’t. Things just went back to normal. I don’t want to ruin things again.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. Hinata did that all on his own.” Tsukki reminds him. Kageyama just nods. “So, Akaashi? I didn’t know you two were close?”

“Uh.. yeah, actually. I don’t really know how it happened, but he’s been helping me a lot. He’s my TA for chem, so I went to him for help. Ever since then, we’ve just been.. hanging out. He usually cooks so I eat at his apartment.” Kageyama blushes and turns away. He’s not exactly sure how to describe their relationship or friendship or whatever it is.

“Hanging out.. and he cooks for you. Are you two fucking?”

Kageyama chokes on his spit and nearly jumps up from the merry go round in offense. His cheeks burn even brighter. “No! No, of course not! Why would you think that?”

“The way you were describing it just sounds so sus. Also, because you’re blushing like a middle school girl with a crush! Are you into him?” Tsukki says and stares at him in surprise.

“No!” Kageyama denies it again. “We’re just.. friends! He helped me with Hinata and we just study together. We eat dinner together too, but we haven’t done anything else.”

“Nothing else? You haven’t done anything with him at all?” Tsukki asks.

“No.. I mean..”

“Kageyama, we’re in college. You don’t need to act like you’re a prude all of a sudden. If you fucked, you fucked.”

“We didn’t fuck, okay? Jesus. You and this word. We just.. kissed. Once.” Kageyama mumbles.

“You kissed? And you’re acting like this over a silly kiss?”

Kageyama gapes at him in shock. “Well, it was my first kiss!”

“Oh, God. I forgot. How was it then?”

“I.. I-it was good. We were both drunk and sad and it just kind of happened.”

Tsukki doesn’t respond for a second.

“I mean I’m glad you finally kissed someone. It took you long enough. I’m just surprised it was with Akaashi of all people.”

“Yeah, I’m shocked too. Also, why are you so surprised it’s Akaashi?”

“Because he’s too hot for you.” Tsukki states as if it’s the most obvious fact ever.

“What the fuck? Yeah, he’s hot but he’s not out of my league.”

“Sureeee he isn’t.”

“Fuck you.” Kageyama spits back but just rolls his eyes.

“No, fuck Akaashi.” Tsukki says and let’s out an obnoxious laugh.

“Shut up.”

“He’s pretty, I’ll give you that.”

“Yeah, he is..” Kageyma says.

“So.. Hinata?”

“What about him?”

“You’re still in love with him aren’t you?”  
Kageyama doesn’t respond for a second. He hates admitting it out loud. “Yeah.. I am. So what?”

“Does he know about this?”

“No. It only happened once and we were drunk. What’s the point of telling him? He probably doesn’t care anyway,” he says.

“You’re both idiots.” Tsukki says and rubs his face.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re on good terms for now. Whatever happens, I’ll figure out the rest later.”

Tsukki nods tiredly. “Just don’t wait too long or things are gonna get fucked up again.”

Kageyama just nods in response and they quietly sit in silence for the rest of the night.

* * *

The end of break brings with it warm weather. Spring is finally upon them and the grass shines with dew. There’s a slight breeze in the air, but it feels crisp and clean. The world is beautiful and endless. Kageyama is laying on the grass with Hinata by his side. They’re staring up at the stars at the park. They met up a few hours ago to practice sets and hang out before they had to go back to school the next day. Kageyama thinks back to their first hangout. He didn’t count studying as a hang out, so he thinks of that night at the park. He was so uncomfortable with Hinata back then. It’s such a contrast to where they are now. He remembers Hinata tripping over his own two feet on the way back to their houses. Clumsy and radiant Hinata.

This break has made him feel like he’s sixteen again. They’re young and innocent. Their friendship was in full bloom and there was nothing to come between them. He feels Hinata’s warmth beside him. He glances over at his peaceful face. Hinata turns his head too.

“Let’s just stay here,” Hinata says and stares at him adoringly.

Kageyama looks back up at the stars. He wishes so desperately that he could just stay there forever. He wishes he could lay here under the stars and it could just be him and Hinata. They could just be together like this with no expectations or complicated feelings. He wishes he could wake up to Hinata curled up in a ball. He could look at Hinata with his head lolled back and his mouth open, drool sliding down his cheek. He wishes he could see Hinata in one of his shirts as it hangs off his body because it’s too big.

He tries to think of a future where that’s possible. It feels just within his reach. Maybe if he tries hard enough he can reach his hand out and hold onto Hinata forever. He thinks about admitting all of this to Hinata right now. He could let the words slip past his lips. _I love you_ he repeats in his head. _I love you more than just friends. I love you and I want you to love me back. I want us to live a life together where I can see you every day. I want to see you in every way_ possible, he thinks to himself.

He doesn’t want to ruin the peaceful silence though, so he keeps it to himself. Maybe some day soon he’ll tell him all this. When the time is right, when the circumstances align, he’ll tell him. He wants to make it right, for Hinata’s sake. His first love. Whatever happens afterwards, at least he’ll know. Now is not that time though.

Kageyama looks up at the infinite sky and feels calmer than he’s been in years, knowing that their time is near. He can’t hold it in for much longer, especially when Hinata looks at him like that. Things finally feel right again. Life is calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO. I BET WE WERENT EXPECTING LOWKEY SMUT, HUH? i’m so sorry if it was bad, i’m not used to this but i just had to. uhhhhh anyway, leave your thoughts and opinions of the chapter, story, whatever you wish. also, check out chapter 19: stars if you wanna see the updated song that goes along with that chapter! i think it’s so sweet and i put it in the notes at the beginning! check it out and lmk what you think! - daisy


	26. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shift in the air, a change in pressure, a sinking feeling that what has yet to come has finally arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before i start this chapter off, i just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you! as a note, since the last chapter, this fic has not only hit 100k words but also 100 kudos, nearly 200 comments, and 2k hits. i realize this may not be a big deal compared to some of the huge fics on ao3, but i genuinely appreciate it. i mainly wrote this fic for myself to indulge in all my fav tropes and characters. i really didn’t expect anyone to find it or even read it. somehow though, you’re all here and that makes my heart so full. i remember all the people who come back to this story and have been here through the growth of my shitty writing. thank you as always, many kisses to all of you. you might need it after this chapter. yikes. love you though. :p

“Are you serious right now?”

“I just don’t like the taste.”

“You’re such a child.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Just take it from me!”

“Fine.” Kageyama says and snatches the pickle dangling from Hinata’s fingers. He shoves it in his mouth and chews it pointedly. Hinata takes a bite from his sandwich happily. “You’re ridiculous,” he says and rolls his eyes. Hinata refuses to eat any form of vegetables and Kageyama is really starting to think he’s an overgrown toddler. Even Natsu has a better palette than him. 

“Mhrmnot,” Hinata mumbles through a mouthful of food. Kageyama cringes and throws a fry at his head. 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full you idiot.” 

Hinata quickly chews the rest of his food before harshly swallowing. 

“Are you gonna eat those?” Hinata asks and points at his full plate of fries. 

“Yeah, don’t be greedy.” Kageyama says and rolls his eyes again. He pushes the plate toward him anyway. Hinata grins and grabs one before tossing it in his mouth. It never ceases to amaze him how much food he’s able to eat for such a tiny person. That’s saying something considering how much he eats on his own.

He feels Hinata’s shoe bump into his under the table. Kageyama moves his foot and kicks Hinata’s shoe. The shorter boy copies the motion with more force and grins. Kageyama does the same and it turns into a full fledged game of footsie before he even realizes it. He only stops because the waitress came over to refill their drinks. Kageyama stops his foot mid kick and pulls it back. 

When she turns and walks away, Kageyama grabs a fry and tosses it at Hinata’s face, but he just picks it up and eats it contentedly. Kageyama keeps a bored expression on his face but inside, he’s overflowing with a light feeling. He looks up at Hinata as he eats happily. It almost feels like.. _a date_. Kageyama almost chokes on his food and quickly takes a gulp from his drink. He makes a mental note to give the waitress a good tip. 

Kageyama finishes off the rest of his sandwich and eats the stray fries leftover on the plate. Hinata is leaning back in his chair apparently lost in a food coma. Kageyama scoffs and stands from the table. Hinata groans and shifts in his seat before finally getting up. 

“Should we get ice cream?” Hinata says with sparkling eyes. 

“No, you just ate the entire dining hall and you want more?” 

“There’s always room for ice cream and I did not!” Hinata says defensively. 

“No.”

“Kageyamaaa,” Hinata whines and pulls on his sleeve. Kageyama yanks his arm away and slaps him in the back of the head. 

“No. You’re gonna throw up by the time we get to practice.”

“Hmmm. You’re no fun.” Hinata says petulantly and crosses his arms. He follows Kageyama out of the hall anyway. He’s still pouting by the time they reach the gym, but Kageyama refuses to give in to his childish antics. The last thing he needs is any encouragement. 

“Go get changed, dumbass.” Kageyama says and walks off towards his locker. Hinata looks like he wants to argue, but concedes and disappears. He wouldn’t be surprised if he stomped his foot while he wasn’t looking. 

* * *

Following their first few matches, the team’s spirit has lifted tremendously. It feels like the good energy in the air from their wins has pushed the team forward exponentially. Kyoto University has been dominating D1 college level games. National qualifiers are quickly approaching and Kageyama is determined to make the most of it. From his phone calls with Yoshida, his chances of making the the team are at its peak. He feels like he just has to give one more good push. 

He can almost taste it on the tip of his tongue and it thrills him. He’s gonna make it. All of the stress and worry has almost paid off. It feels like a jab at all the people who doubted him, including his dad and the friends who rejected him. It makes him think ‘ _look, i’ve done it._ ’ He feels like he’s surrounded by positive energy. He’s still close with Tsukki. He texts him at least a couple times a day. Akaashi and Shiro are also extremely supportive and keep him grounded. To top it off, he has Hinata back. It feels like they’ve picked up from where they left off. 

The night before qualifiers, Hinata decided to bombard his dorm again. He tried to tell Hinata that they need to get proper rest before their matches, but the tiny nuisance refused to listen. Kageyama even tried to get Shiro to side with him, but the little shit only ended up encouraging him. 

Hinata made the executive decision that the best form of good luck was a classic sleepover and fort in his room. The idea made Shiro ecstatic and he quickly abandoned Kageyama by agreeing to it. Now they’re pulling their double beds across the room and throwing blankets over the gap in between. He has no idea how he gets looped into these things. 

Hinata is weighing down the blankets with their textbooks and Shiro is setting up their tiny TV underneath. 

Kageyama is forced to do all the hard work like pushing their heavy dressers and desks out of the way. Apparently, he’s the ‘strong’ one here and has the arms for it. While he’s breaking his arms off and sweating, they’re making the fort pretty. Kageyama grunts as he pushes the last desk across the room. 

Hinata jumps off of the bed and pats him on the back. 

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?” Hinata says.

Kageyama slaps him on the back of the head and bends down to crawl into the fort. Hinata complains behind him but ignores it. There’s a huge mound of blankets and pillows inside. Hinata brought as many as he could from his dorm. Combined with their own extra blankets and pillows, it actually looked pretty comfortable. 

Kageyama settles himself next to Shiro and let out a breath. He was sore as hell from practice but also all of this. It makes him slightly embarrassed. He definitely needs to spend more time on weights. He just likes running more for whatever reason. It’s gives him some time alone from all the stress of school and volleyball.

Hinata crawls in after him with an armful of snacks. Kageyama refuses to eat any of it. He tries in vain to convince Hinata junk food was not a good idea before a big match. Hinata suddenly decides he can’t hear him and scarfs down chocolate bars and candy. 

Kageyama finds it a little cute that he has such a huge sweet tooth. He also thinks his addiction is going to kill his health, but Hinata is as hard headed as ever. Hinata has never been one to back down or listen to the doubts of other people. It makes Kageyama want to hit him over the head with his chemistry textbook, but that’s besides the point. 

Just as he’s finally getting comfortable, Shiro suddenly climbs out from beneath the blankets and out of their fort. He scrambles towards the door and light from the hall spills into the room. He knows who it is before he even sees their face. Tendou’s voice fills his ears and Kageyama can barely manage to hold back a groan. 

Shiro crawls back in with Tendou on his tail. Kageyama forces his mouth into what he thinks resembles a smile. 

“Hey, guys! Cool fort!” Tendou says and settles in next to Kageyama. 

“Why..?” Kageyama begins saying. 

“I invited Tendou to our slumber party! I figured the more the merrier. That’s okay, right Kageyama?” Shiro says.

Kageyama sighs. He’s really going to make him pay for this one day. “Yeah.” He responds and looks back towards the movie to restrain himself from jumping across their tiny fort and slapping him on the head. _Why do people keep invading his room?_

Shiro and Tendou quickly cuddle up to each other, while Kageyama and Hinata awkwardly sit with their backs against the wall. Tendou is sickeningly sweet with Shiro and peppers kisses on his nose and forehead. Kageyama tries his best not to look. He feels like the awkward third wheel, or fourth wheel in this case. 

He glances over at Hinata who’s watching the other two boys in fascination. When Hinata makes eye contact with him he quickly looks away. Kageyama averts his eyes back to the screen and feels his face flush. After a few minutes, he chances another look at Hinata out of the corner of his eye. Hinata’s eyes quickly flicker away as if he was just looking at him. 

Kageyama clears his throat and stiffly shifts his position. Hinata slightly moves next to him to give him space, but remains in the same spot. Shiro is cooing and whispering at Tendou and the older boy just giggles back. Kageyama feels like he’s about to snap. This is so awkward. 

He suddenly gets a horrible idea. Kageyama shifts again and slightly sinks down from his sitting position. He leans his body towards Hinata and then stills. He waits for a few seconds for Hinata to lean on his shoulder, but the boy just continues to stare at the screen. Kageyama frowns and inches closer to Hinata. He leans his head away from him, as if offering his open shoulder. Hinata seemingly doesn’t get the hint and scooches over to give him space. Kageyama leans over some more and again Hinata scooches to make room. Kageyama does it one more time, until his upper body is practically leaning sideways. _Cuddle with me dammit_ , he yells in his head.

Hinata gives him a bewildered look and shifts as far as he can towards the wall. Kageyama feels his muscles clench from the strain of leaning over in such a weird position. He tries to hold it for as long as he can, but ends up relaxing his muscles and falling towards the carpet with a light thud. He’s laying on his side with his legs extended out in front of him. Hinata looks down at his crumpled form. 

“Uh..Kageyama? Are you gonna stay like that? I barely have any room.” Hinata says as he’s pressed against the wall. Kageyama huffs and shifts so he’s laying straight again with his head on his arm. Hinata moves from the wall and lays down facing him. They stare at each other for a few minutes before Kageyama feels his face heat up again. He snaps his eyes shut, but doesn’t turn his body away. He hears some shuffling and suddenly feels Hinatas foot hit his blanket. The touch feels so light, he thinks he may have even imagined it. 

Kageyama refuses to open his eyes. If he does, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. Hinata’s stupid face might be right in front of his and he might end up kissing him like an idiot. Even if he’s kissed someone before, the thought makes him shudder. It’s entirely different with Hinata. He’s known him for so long. Plus, Shiro and Tendou are laying right next to them. He refuses to have either of them there for their first kiss. He’s had enough of their chaos for one day. 

He hears Hinata’s blanket moving around again. This time, he feels Hinata’s foot kick him again. He definitely didn’t imagine it that time. He can tell Hinata must be extremely close. It makes the hairs on his neck stand up. He lightly kicks his foot back and he hears Hinata breath out a sigh. 

After half an hour passes, the movie is over and Kageyama slowly opens one eye. He peeks past his blanket to see Hinata laying right next to him. Their bodies would be touching if he moved just an inch. Hinata is sound asleep with a smudge of chocolate on his cheek. Kageyama instinctively reaches his arm out to wipe it off but decides against it. It would be awkward if he woke up and he was acting like a mother hen. He pulls his arm back under his blanket and settles into sleep. 

* * *

Kageyama wakes up the next morning with his arm slung over Hinata’s side and Hinata’s head on his pillow. His first instinct is to jump back and rip his arm away, but he stills himself. Even after all the mornings they’ve woken up together, he still never gets used to being this close to Hinata. It feels soft and intimate in a way he can’t fully enjoy. Each time, it gets explained away as an accident or with one of them leaving before the other wakes up. He has Hinata in his arms, but not in the way he wants. 

Kageyama slowly lifts his arm off of his body. He reaches down towards the blanket and gently pulls it up Hinata’s shoulder. He rolls onto his back and sits up to check his phone. It was already 6 am and they were set to leave for the tournament at 7. They’d have an hour long bus ride with the tournament beginning at 8 am. Kageyama figures he’d get Hinata up in fifteen minutes. He glances over at his sleeping form and his eyes linger on the messy hair sprawled across his pillow. He glances away and looks at Shiro and Tendo wrapped around each other under a massive blanket. Kageyama rolls his eyes and crawls out of the fort. He’s surprised he got any sleep at all. He decidedly blames them for his lack of proper rest. 

Regardless, he wakes himself up with a shower and returns to the room in time to wake Hinata up. He gets changed into his uniform and crawls into the fort to shake Hinata awake. Surprisingly, the boy is already awake and rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he scrolls on his phone. 

“Let’s go. I’m sure coach wants to talk to us before we leave,” Kageyama says quietly. Hinata nods and crawls out after him. Kageyama scribbles a note on a sheet of paper for Shiro. He told him he was leaving and to clean up while they’re gone. It was only fair since Shiro was the one who encouraged it and brought Tendou. Kageyama caps the pen and turns towards the door. Hinata grabs his packed bags that he brought the night before. They both leave the cluttered dorm and quietly shut the door behind them. 

Two hours later, Kageyama finally steps off of the cramped bus. He stretches his legs and cracks his back. He never gets used to traveling on those buses. It makes his body achy and tired. The rest of the team follows their coach into the warm up gym. 

Kageyama quickly warms up with the team before heading towards their assigned gym for the first match. Kageyama hops up and down and stretches his hands as the other team files in. He plans on winning today and the second tournament to make it to nationals. Despite his lack of sleep, he feels good. He’s buzzing with energy and determination. Kuroo gives him a thumbs up and Kageyama copies the motion. The referee blows the whistle and the match begins. 

Halfway through the second set, one of their middle blockers suddenly collapses on the ground. Apparently, he landed at an awkward angle and twisted his ankle. He watches as one of their teammates helps him limp to the infirmary. Kageyama looks around to see coach Niigata whispering to the assistant coaches. He figures one of the second years will get subbed in, but Niigata looks over at Hinata standing in the warm up box. Kageyama feels his eyes widen. 

Kageyama watches as the assistant coach runs over to Hinata and whispers in his ear. Hinata quickly nods and jogs over to their coach. Niigata speaks to him quickly and turns towards the referee. They nod and blow their whistle. Hinata jogs onto the court as the rest of the team look on in shock. Kageyama just stares as Hinata gives him a thumbs up and beams at him. Kageyama stares in awe from the back row. 

The referee blows his whistle and the game picks up where it left off. Together, they dominate the second set and advance to the next round. As soon as Hinata got into position for the first set, they immediately synced. They’ve both improved exponentially since coming to college and it shows. There’s a mixture of confusion and excitement after seeing Hinata at his full potential. He’s kept in for the rest of the matches that day. In turn, they succeed in advancing to the second and final tournament at the top of their bracket. It’s the final step before nationals. 

Kageyama feels invigorated. 

As he settles into his seat on the bus, Hinata chatters his ear off about their games and his spikes. Kageyama can do nothing but smile and admire him as he passionately rambles on and on. 

* * *

Later that night, Kageyama gets a call from Yoshida. Kageyama quickly scrambles to pick up when he saw his name flash in his screen.

“Hello, Yoshida-san?” He says as he picks up. 

“Ah, yes! Hi, Kageyama. I just heard back from one of my scouts at your tournament today. I heard you were in peak form! I’m so proud of you and I think this is really great news. There’s been talk among the coaches that this may be your opportunity to finally secure a spot with the team.” Yoshida says. 

“Oh.. that’s really great! Thank you, Yoshida-san. What will I need to do?” Kageyama asks. 

“Well, two things. The first is to do well in the final qualifying tournament. That should be easy! I don’t want to pressure you, so just play as usual. You don’t have to win, but it would definitely be nice. I’d argue that you’ll get on either way. The second thing is a little more complicated. Are you busy this weekend?” 

“No! No, I can make room! Why?” Kageyama says quickly. 

Yoshida chuckles. “Okay, that’s good. How about you come to Tokyo for the day? You can meet the team, get a tour of the gym and living facilities, and discuss some final details for the contract. We can see if you like it here. That sound good to you? The Adlers will personally pay for your trip.”

Kageyama is stunned for a second and hesitates. Final details? Is this really happening?But what about Hin-

“You still there, Kageyama?”

“Oh, yes! I’ll come to Tokyo. What time do I need to be there? Will I take the train?”

Yoshida laughs again. “Don’t worry about the details for right now. I’ll email you your ticket and everything tonight, alright? I’ll see you Saturday!” 

“Okay, thank you, Yoshida-san!”

“Of course! Bye!”

“Bye.”

Kageyama hears the line drop. He has no idea what to do now. 

* * *

By the next day, Kageyama has become increasingly nervous. He doesn’t know what to expect of his trip to Tokyo. What if he doesn’t like the Adlers? What if he doesn’t fit in? What if they change their mind? What about Hinata?

The questions swirl around his brain as he sits in class. He finally comes back to his senses as the professor wraps up his lecture. Kageyama shakes his head and turns towards Hinata who’s packing up. 

“Oh, I forgot to ask! Wanna go to the new ramen place that opened on campus tomorrow?” Hinata asks and looks up at him expectantly. 

Kageyama opens his mouth to agree, but quickly clamps it shut. He won’t be here tomorrow. “I actually can’t tomorrow. How about Sunday?”

“Sure, but why not?” Hinata pries.

“Oh.. um.. I actually have to go somewhere tomorrow.”

“Go somewhere? Where? Ooh, can I come?”

“Uh.. I don’t think so. I’m actually going to Tokyo.” Kageyama mumbles. 

“Wahhh! Tokyo? What for? That sounds so fun, we haven’t been there since third year.”

“My dad just wants me to check out a team there for the future.” Kageyama says quietly. He’s not sure why he didn’t mention the Adlers or the contract. Deep down though, he knows why. It would feel too concrete to say that. It would feel like he’s leaving Hinata, so he lies. 

“Oh, that’s super cool! Is there a certain team you’re looking at?” Hinata says and follows him out of the lecture hall. They walk together as they step outside. 

“Yeah, sort of. I’ll.. tell you more about it when I get back. What’s the ramen place called by the way?” Kageyama says and tries to change the subject. 

“Okay, cool! It’s called Ginza. I’ve heard it’s really good, so we have to try it.” Hinata says with a bright smile. Kageyama nods and looks away from him with a frown.

* * *

The trip to Tokyo takes a little over four hours. The day passes by quickly as he’s shown around the ginormous facility. The solo apartments for the team are spacious and modern. They’re also within walking distance of the training center and gym. Kageyama is in awe and excitedly follows Yoshida around. 

He’s slightly less excited to have to meet the team and interact with them though. He wants to leave a good impression, but he’s a little worried he’s gonna come off as awkward or unfriendly. Most of them are kind and welcoming though. Kageyama doesn’t recognize most of them, but he spots their setter near the back. He looks strong and intense. Kageyama wants to talk to him, but decides to save it for later if he gets on the team. 

Afterwards, Yoshida brings them to his office and he goes over the details of the contract. He lists off how much he’s going to get paid, the housing, training hours, and benefits he receives as a member. Kageyama nods along. It all sounds great, but he still feels a small seed of doubt inside of him. This is the future he’s been wishing for. Everything is in front of him, so why?

Sensing his worry, Yoshida agrees to give him the contract to take home. He tells him to take some time to consider his options before responding. Kageyama quickly agrees to this. Yoshida tells him to email his decision by next week and the signed contract if everything goes well. He wishes him luck in the tournament and an hour later, Kageyama is back on the bus to Kyoto. His head hurts and he feels more confused than when he left.

When he returned, he planned on talking to Hinata about his possible options. That was his plan at least, except he never gets the chance. After a long day of traveling, he collapses into bed and sleeps in the next day. Kageyama slept past the time for ramen, and they had to reschedule. 

* * *

On Monday, Hinata skips as he makes his way to practice. He’s about to enter the gym when he hears voices on the side of the building. Normally, he’d ignore it, but he couldn’t help but feel curious. He creeps along the wall until he can hear them more clearly. He leans his ear towards the voices. 

“I mean, go figure. Have you seen his serves? There’s no way he wasn’t already scouted.” They have a deeper voice. It sounds like one of the second yeas. Hinata’s eyebrows furrow. Who’re they talking about? 

“I heard he was scouted by the Adlers already.” Hinata’s eyes widen. Whoever it is must be impressive. The Adlers were nothing to joke about. Hinata knows they’re one of the best teams in the V.League. Maybe one of the third or fourth years? 

“You’re fucking kidding.”

“Nope. I heard Niigata talking about it with the assistant coach. Their scouts were at the first game too.” Scouts? He didn’t notice them. Now that he’s thinking about it though, he thinks he may have seen a few. 

“No shit? Makes sense to be honest. As expected from a starting freshman. Did you see all the interviews he got?” Starting freshman? He didn’t get scouted. That only leaves..

“Yeah, they were swarming him. So, is he dropping for the Adlers then.” 

“I would assume so,” the deeper voice says. Hinata’s heart drops to his toes. 

“Sounds like a win for me. I bet they’ll put me in as setter then.” 

“Yeah right. If anyone’s gonna start next semester it’s me.” 

“You sure about that? They still haven’t put you back in ever since that tiny middle blocker took your spot.” 

“No way, that shrimp? He fucking sucks,” the deeper voice snarls. Hinata instinctively takes a step back. He holds his position though. He’s heard all of this before, they can’t break him down with just a few words. 

“I don’t know Niigata really seems to like him,” the boy responds.

“I bet he fucking does. He doesn’t even deserve to be here.” Hinata frowns.

“Hey, don’t you think that’s a little unfair? He made it on the team, didn’t he?” Hinata nods to himself. He feels anger well inside of him. 

“That’s the thing. He didn’t. I’m almost positive he cheated.” Hinata stops breathing for a second. Cheated? 

“What? How?”

“I’ve been hearing rumors that damn setter was the one that got him on the team.” No. No, Hinata’s mind whispers. 

“Seriously? How?” 

“Yeah one of the third years was eavesdropping on the coaches meetings. He was telling me the shrimp couldn’t get in by himself. So, Niigata only let him in after Kageyama bribed him.” Hinata feels his heart go cold. Kageyama bribed him? No. There’s no way he could’ve done that. He earned his spot on the team.

“That’s kind of pathetic. I mean, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.” Hinata is frozen in his spot. He stares straight ahead of him. This isn’t happening. There’s no way. 

“Not if it costs someone a spot on the team. Think about it. Some poor high schooler probably worked their ass off to try to earn a spot and here comes this hot headed little shit to take their spot. He can barely block or serve. It’s a miracle he hasn’t been kicked off the team yet.”

“I guess when you put it that way, it is kind of unfair.”

“Exactly!” The deeper voice shouts. Hinata jumps. His heart is pounding in his chest. He hears them shuffling from around the corner and sprints towards the gym door. Hinata yanks it open and runs inside. He disappears into the equipment room and collapses on the floor. His mind is racing between thoughts of the Adlers, Kageyama, and his spot on the team. Did he really take someone else’s spot? Did Kageyama really bribe Niigata? How? Is Kgeyama actually leaving? Was that why he was in Tokyo? 

Hinata tightly grips his hair with his hands. This is too much. He feels his chest heave with uneven breaths. He can’t process what he just heard. It can’t be true. Kageyama wouldn’t do any of that without telling him, right? Right? 

* * *

At first, Hinata is in a state of denial. Kageyama is his best friend. They’re partners. He would never do something like that or make such a huge decision without him. If anything, there has to be a reason Kageyama hasn’t told him about any of this yet. 

Hinata tries to hold off the thoughts that linger in his mind for as long as he can, buthe can’t help but think, what if he really doesn’t belong here? What if he only got in because Kageyama actually bribed their coach? What if they’re right? 

He doesn’t deserve to be here. He didn’t earn it like everybody else and that’s something he can’t stand by.

People have always looked down on him. Whether it’s his height or his lack of technical skills, he can’t add this on too. If it’s true and people find out, they’ll never respect him. 

Hinata feels frustrated and confused. He never expected something like this to happen. When things went back to normal with Kageyama, he thought they’d just continue on with their plan to go pro together. Looking back on it, Hinata realizes that was never realistic. However talented he may be, Kageyama has always been a step ahead of him. Always a head above the rest and constantly evolving. Kageyama is destined to go pro and apparently, very soon. As for himself, he’s not so sure. 

Hinata knows that nothing is definite when it comes to his own career. As much as he’d like to think that he can make a career out of volleyball, the tiny voices in his head make him doubt that. Suddenly, playing at the college level doesn’t feel like enough. Hinata feels like he’s questioning everything. What is he really doing here? Regardless of how he got on the team, or if Kageyama is leaving, it still begs the question, how is he going to move forward? 

Somehow, it always feels like he’s a step behind and he’s tired of it. He’s surrounded by talented players and yet, he can’t see the way forward. He feels like he’s stuck. Between practice and the few games he’s played in, his progress in volleyball feels stagnant. At the end of the day, Hinata knows that he has to do more to break away from the everyone else. 

Therein lies the issue. Hinata spends the next couple days focusing on his path forward. From the first time he saw the little giant play at nationals, he’s known that he wants to dominate the court. 

It feels like the only way to do that is to change how he’s approaching volleyball. With his height, and everything else going on, he’s left with few options. By the end of the week, Hinata has meticulously poured over every possible option. If he wants to catch up with Kageyama, he has to do something drastic. 

Maybe the only way forward is to tear everything down and start anew. Maybe the only way to reach his dreams is to pave his own path, even if it’s not in the way he planned. Even with the rumors circulating their team, whether they’re true only matters in his heart. He’ll find out either way before he makes his final decision. He just hopes it doesn’t break him when it comes out. 

Until then, Hinata tries his best not to pull away from Kageyama. He trusts him and he wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. He owes him that after all these years. Hinata realizes that his feelings for the boy may be clouding his judgement, but he holds onto that hope that all of this is just a misunderstanding. Kageyama will explain it all away because Hinata knows him. He loves him and Kageyama would never do this to him. That’s not the person he is. Hinata clings onto that hope and it works until he sees something he wishes he didn’t. 

On Wednesday, the night before their second tournament, Hinata appears in Kageyama’s dorm again. It feels like good luck to be around him when he’s nervous. Coach Niigata has allowed him to start the game as middle blocker. It’s exciting and it validates all of the hard work he put in. 

The night started off as usual with Kageyama nagging him to go home and get some real rest. Hinata of course didn’t listen to that, but he’s starting to think he should’ve. Shiro was hanging out with Tendou for the night, which left them alone in the room. While Kageyama was in the bathroom taking a shower, his curiosity got the better of him. It’s a bad habit, but he can’t help but snoop when he’s bored. 

He hops off the bed and rummages around Kageyama’s desk. It’s filled with normal school supplies like notebooks and pens. Nothing is out of the ordinary. He also spots some post it notes with messy reminders scrawled on them and stray pieces of paper. Hinata pulls open the last drawer and spots a packet of paper sticking out from underneath a notebook. Hinata figures it’s just a problem set or something from class. Hinata lifts the notebook to see what class it’s for and immediately spots the large font and emblem for the Schweiden Adlers. 

Hinata drops the notebook back on top of the paper in shock. So, it is true then. He stands with his hand frozen in the air. After a few seconds, his mind catches up and he snatches the notebook back up. He places it on the desk and slowly picks up the papers. His stomach turns and his body feels heavy. In that moment all of his wishful thinking goes down the drain.

Everything he’s doubted is right in front of him printed in neat letters. He quickly flips through the pages until he gets to the end. 

Kageyama’s signature is scribbled on a line at the bottom next to yesterday’s date. Hinata stares at it in disbelief. He slowly blinks as if the signature will disappear, but it’s still there marked in permanent ink. 

Hinata feels tears well in his eyes. He knows it shouldn’t be this big of a deal but at the same time, it feels like everything he hoped for has been shoved back in his face. All of his dreams of standing by Kageyama’s side feel like they’re fading away. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. The reality hits him in the chest and twists his heart.

He forces himself not to crumple up the paper or tear it. Hinata hears footsteps approaching the room from down the hall and quickly rearranges the pages and shoves it back in the drawer. He tosses the notebook back on top before quickly shutting the drawer and hopping back on the bed. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve and settles into a natural position on his phone. 

Kageyama opens the door a second later and enters the room with droplets of water dripping from his hair. A wave of ocean breeze scented shampoo hits him from across the room. Kageyama glances at him before placing his shower caddy down and towel drying his hair. It looks so fluffy and soft. His cheeks are flushed from the hot water and his neck is exposed in the loose tshirt he has on. Damn him for looking this good even when he’s upset with him. 

Kageyama has been acting slightly off the past week and now Hinata knows why. It makes him feel sick. Kageyama always seems like he wants to say something to him but never does. He even invited him over the day before, but Hinata turned him down because he had assignments due that night. He wonders if he invited him over because of this. Whatever the case may be, he knows the truth now, or at least some of it. 

By the end of the night, they settle into their separate beds to go to sleep. Kageyama is sleeping in his own bed and Hinata is laying in Shiro’s bed across the room. They’re not sleeping together for once and it feels strange. The gap between them feels endless. Hinata hears Kageyama’s soft breaths as he drifts into sleep, while he lies awake on his back. As he stares up at the ceiling, the silence of the room surrounds him. 

_ Kageyama. Why?  _

* * *

In the week leading up to their second tournament, Kageyama agonizes over his options. He wants to join the Adlers, but he doesn’t want to leave Hinata behind. He’s also afraid of uprooting his entire life again and moving to a new team. It would also mean leaving Akaashi and Shiro behind. In the short time he’s been here, he feels like he’s made a new home for himself. It’s a strange feeling knowing he’s found people who care for him so quickly. His parents would never allow him to turn down the deal though. 

He knows he has to tell Hinata soon, but he just can’t figure out how. The guilt eats away at him. How can he tell Hinata that he’s been contemplating this deal for months ? How can he tell him that the decision is practically already made for him? Of course he wants to stay here. Of course he wants Hinata to be a part of his life and help him make this decision, but he doesn’t have a choice either. His father would practically disown him if he found out that he turned down such a huge opportunity, and for a boy at that. 

How can he tell Hinata that he’s been lying and keeping this a secret without ruining everything they’ve just fixed? Kageyama feels helpless. He knows he put himself in this position and he should’ve listened to Tsukki earlier. He should’ve told him as soon as he got the offer, but he didn’t. He didn’t because he wanted to hang onto their dream of continuing their lives together. Now he’s faced with the inevitable. He’s going to have to take the deal and he’s probably going to lose Hinata all over again in the process. 

Kageyama tries to think of ways that things could somehow work out, but he comes up empty handed. He can’t hide the fact that he’s leaving or the fact that he’s left Hinata in the dark this whole time. 

Part of him hopes that Hinata will be understanding if he just comes out and tells him the truth. Even if they’re apart, it doesn’t mean they have to stop being friends. He knows that Hinata will go pro too and then they’ll be together again. Their dream can still happen and he hangs onto that. 

On the night the contract is due, he texts Hinata and invites him over. It took him hours of mental preparation, but he’s finally ready to come clean. He busies himself with tidying his room while he waits for a response. When he finally gets one, he quickly jumps towards his phone and unlocks it. His heart drops as he reads that Hinata is busy with assignments. 

He was finally ready to talk things over with Hinata and now he has to do it all on his own. He contemplates telling Hinata to come over anyway, but he knows it probably won’t help. He’ll have to sign the damn paper either way. Even if he tells him now, it’ll only distract him from his work and the tournament. Kageyama decides to tell him afterwards.

Kageyama sighs and opens the contract as he sits down at his desk. He uncaps his pen and signs it. 

* * *

Regardless of how he feels, Hinata is determined to perform at his best during the tournament. He’s come a long way since high school and he’s learned to set aside his nerves and negative energy when it’s time to get serious. He sets himself to winning the game in front of him and pushing forward until the end and it works. 

They soar through the tournament and win the final match. Their team qualifies for nationals and Hinata was a part of that. He wishes he could enjoy their victory like everyone else, but the reality of his situation weighs on him. As he’s drying his face with a towel, he spots Kageyama talking to someone in the stands. It’s an older man with a lanyard around his neck and a clipboard in his hands. 

Hinata knows that he’s most likely a recruiter and everything clicks in his brain. He’s seen him before. Actually, he’s seen him several times before and he’s just now put it all together. He must be a scout from the Adlers. He remembers seeing him at one of their last games in high school. The realization stabs at his heart. This has been going on for far longer than he ever realized. Hinata turns away from them and shuts his eyes. 

After their award ceremony, they all file onto the bus and Hinata immediately heads back to his dorm when they arrive on campus. A few of his teammates wanted to celebrate but he quickly declines. Everything just feels like too much right now. Hinata is exhausted.

* * *

The next day, Kuroo sends out a mass invite to the team group chat for a party he’s hosting to celebrate their win. Kuroo specifically mentions that everyone on the team is required to go and enjoy the small break before nationals. Kageyama really doesn’t want to go, but he knows Kuroo will blow up his phone. Kageyama just wants to talk to Hinata, but it seems like somehow it always gets delayed. 

He has a bad feeling about tonight, but Kageyama decides just to get it over with and go to the party. Hinata texted him saying that he would also be going. It makes Kageyama nervous but at the same time, maybe if he gets drunk, it’ll be easier to tell Hinata the truth. He also decides to drag Akaashi along for moral support. The older boy quickly agrees and meets him at his dorm to head over to Kuroo’s.

When they get there, the house is even more packed than last time. It seems like Kuroo went all out this time around and invited the entirety of their school. Kageyama looks around for Hinata’s bright head of hair, but he can’t find him in the sea of people. He settles for downing a few drinks before looking for him again. Akaashi follows him to the kitchen and they pour some shots. They both quickly throw them back and settle against the counter. He prefers to stay there rather than trying to mix in with the herd of people in the living room. 

As he’s sipping on his cup of jungle juice, he glances over at Akaashi. He was staring down at his phone, but quickly locks it and shoves it in his pocket. 

“You good?” Kageyama asks. 

“Yeah, just a lot going on to be honest,” Akaashi responds.

“How so?” Kageyama asks and pouts himself another shot. Akaashi copies his motion and sighs.

“Did I tell you that Bokuto is still texting me even though I haven’t responded?”

“No, you didn’t. What happened?” Kageyama says and downs the drink. He turns toward Akaashi and gives him his full attention. Akaashi takes the shot and grimaces before he continues speaking.

“Well, like I said, I’ve been ignoring him. He still insists on texting me though. The texts have gotten more.. urgent too.”

“Urgent?” Kageyama asks.

“Yeah. He says he misses me. He says he misses us and he wants to see me. Just stuff like that and it’s been really hard not texting back.”

“Oh.. I see.” Kageyama says awkwardly. “Are you never planning on seeing him again then?”

Akaashi sighs again. “I’m not sure honestly. While I was home for break, he kept trying to pop up at random times to see me. I kept avoiding him though. It’s hard to see his face and not feel anything. It’s been a long time, but it just feels like a lot to rehash everything again all of a sudden.” Akaashi rubs a hand at the back of his neck. 

“Yeah.. that makes sense. I can see why you may not feel ready yet. I’m not sure if it’s my place to say this, but maybe you just need some closure. I don’t know though. It’s just that maybe if you see him one more time you can figure out all your feelings. From what you’ve told me, it seems like there was a lot left unsaid.” Kageyama says. He doesn’t want to pressure Akaashi, but with everything going on, it just felt like the right thing to say. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Akaashi says as he stares at his drink. 

Kageyama spends most of the night with Akaashi just drinking and chatting with a few of his teammates that stop by. He sees Tendou and Shiro at some point, but they’re too busy making out for him to say anything to them. He still hasn’t seen Hinata though, but figures he’s probably just somewhere else in the house.

After all of his drinks, Kageyama suddenly gets the urge to pee. He quickly tells Akaashi before disappearing into the crowd. He’s glad he knows where the bathroom is this time and stumbles toward the door. There’s a short line to the bathroom and he settles against the well. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it. 

‘Where r u?’ He texts Hinata. He stares at the sceeen waiting for a response but after a few minutes, he still hasn’t gotten one. When it’s his turn to use the bathroom, he shoves his phone back in his pocket and closes the door. 

When he’s done he washes his hands and heads back to the kitchen. Akaashi is still in the same spot he left him and Kageyama settles next to him. He feels the buzz of the alcohol in his body and lets his head bump to the music. He feels more relaxed than he probably should be with all the stress in his life. It’s a nice break from all of his worries. 

He hears Akaashi’s phone go off next to him and just continues sipping on his drink. He doesn’t think anything of it until he feels Akaashi go still next to him. Kageyama furrows his eyebrows and turns his head to see that Akaashi’s face has gone pale. 

“Akaashi, you okay? What’s wrong?” He says in concern. Akaashi doesn’t respond. “Akaashi?”

“Huh?” Akaashi says and looks up at him. 

“Are you okay? You look like you’re gonna be sick. Is it the alcohol? I can walk you home.” Kageyama says and reaches out a hand to rub his back. 

“I.. no..” Akaashi slurs. 

“What? Is something happening? Who texted you just now?”

“He’s here.” Akaashi says in a dead tone. 

“What? Who’s here?”

“You know who.” Akaashi says. 

“What is this Harry Potter?” He says to try to lighten the sudden mood change. He knows who is has to be though. There’s only one person who could make Akaashi act like this. 

“Kageyama.” Akaashi says in a serious voice.

“You’re kidding.” Kageyama deadpans. He’s too drunk for this. 

“No. He’s literally here.”

“Here? As in at the party?”

“Yeah, I think so. He mentioned Kuroo. Holy fuck. What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Akaashi says and looks around in panic. 

“Fuck. I don’t know. Oh my god.” Kageyama says and panics too. “Okay, wait. Let’s calm down. I don’t know where he is, but maybe this is your chance to finally talk things out.”

“Shit. I’m drunk. I really don’t know if I want to talk to him right now. You know I do things when I’m drunk.” Akaashi says. Kageyama thinks back to their drunk kiss. This is going to be a mess.

“It’s okay. Let’s just think for a second.”

“I can barely think right now. Should I go see him?”

“Um.. um.. yes? I mean maybe? Only if you want to. I feel like this could be good for you and if it doesn’t turn out well, you can just run back to your apartment.” Kageyama says. He has no idea how he’s supposed to help in this situation. 

“Oh god. I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. I think I might go see him.” Akaashi says.

“Okay, that’s good. Just take a second and decided I guess.” Kageyama says. 

Akaashi takes a deep breath and looks around again. “You’re right. I think I’m gonna do it.” The older boy pushes himself off of the counter. 

“Okay. I’ll be here if you need me.” Kageyama says. He pulls Akaashi into a hug and pays him on the back. “Everything’s gonna be fine. Text me if you need,” he says. Akaashi hugs him back and hangs onto him for a second. Kageyama let’s him. He knows he probably needs the support right now. 

Akaashi finally pulls back and Kageyama gives him a nod. Akaashi nods in return and looks back to his phone. He starts typing as he walks away. Kageyama stares after him until he suddenly feels someone grab his arm. The person drags him forward and his body lurches. 

In his drunken state, he doesn’t know what’s going on for a second. When his mind catches up, he realizes it’s Hinata dragging him towards the back door connected to the kitchen. 

He doesn’t have the mental capacity to resist right then and just let’s the small boy drag him outside. Hinata slams the door behind them and turns to look at him. 

“Are you fucking Akaashi?” Hinata says in a whisper. 

Kageyama feels his eyes widen and his mouth drop open. He scrambles for a response. 

“What the fuck? No?” Kageyama says with confusion in his voice. 

“Don’t lie to me right now.” Hinata says coldly. His tone only adds to Kageyama confusion. 

“I’m not lying. We aren’t doing anything.” Kageyama says in irritation.

“What was that then?” Hinata says and glares at him. 

“What was what?”

“That! In the kitchen!” Hinata raises his voice and waves his arms in the direction of the house. 

“You mean our hug? I was just comforting him.” Kageyama says defensively. 

“Comforting him about what?” Hinata says.

Kageyama sighs. He knows it’s not his place to tell Hinata all the details about his issues with Bokuto. “Can we not talk about this right now?” 

“Why? So you can run back to Akaashi?” Hinata says spitefully. 

“What? No! I just can’t tell you about it. It’s private and I can’t tell you about his personal problems.”

Hinata laughs but it sounds hollow in his ears. “Yeah. You can’t tell me about a lot of things.” Hinata says. Kageyama’s heart drops. He’s not sure if that means what he thinks is means, but it can’t be anything good. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

Hinata doesn’t respond for a few seconds and has a sad look in his eyes. He smiles at the ground before looking at him. The smile looks wrong though. It doesn’t look like Hinata and it scares him. 

“I know you kissed him.”

Kageyama feels his heart rate speed up. He can’t think of anything to say in response. 

“It was him, wasn’t it? The person you kissed?” Hinata says dryly. 

“How-“ Kageyama starts to say but is cut off. 

“In never have I ever, you put your finger down for the one about kissing someone in the room. I just remembered that. It all makes sense now, the way you act around him. You kissed Akaashi, didn’t you?” 

“I.. yes.. It was a one time thing though and we were drunk. We’re just friends and I was just there to support him.” Kageyama leaves out the part that he needed Akaashi to comfort him too. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to explain. 

“Right. So, why lie about it then?” Hinata asks. 

“I wasn’t! You never asked me. I would’ve told you if you wanted to know. I just did!” Kageyama says and throws his hands up in frustration. 

“I just remembered, but why would you keep it a secret? Why would you kiss him?” Hinata says loudly. 

“Why do you care? It’s not like anyone else likes me! It doesn’t even matter. He’s not interested in me. It just happened.” Kageyama yells back in exasperation. 

“I don’t care!” Hinata yells. 

The words stab at Kageyama’s heart. The dumb part of him wishes Hinata did care. The tiny part of his heart wishes that Hinata was the one who kissed him and in that moment, admitted that there was someone who liked him. That doesn’t happen though and the silence between them is stifling. 

Hinata suddenly looks up at him again. Kageyama stares back at him. 

“Isn’t there something else you need to tell me?” Hinata asks. Kageyama stills. His heart drops. 

“I.. what..” Kageyama says and stares at him helplessly. 

“Let me give you a hint. What were you doing in Tokyo?” Hinata asks.

_Shit_. Kageyama feels his breath hitch in his throat. His heart is pounding in his chest. He tries to speak, but the words catch in his mouth. He gapes at Hinata.

“I was going to tell you.” Kageyama finally gets out.

Hinata forces out a laugh again. “Oh yeah?” He says. 

Kageyama winces. “Y-Yeah. Please just listen. I don’t know what you know, but I only went to Tokyo to discuss an offer from the Adlers. Nothing was definite yet. They gave me a contract and some time to think it over. I was going to talk to you about it before I decided, but you were busy.” 

“It doesn’t matter if I was busy! I can’t believe you’re trying to use that excuse. You lied! You said you were going to Tokyo to look at a team you were interested in, not one that you were already scouted for!” Hinata shouts. 

Kageyama jumps at the volume of his voice. “I was interested in them though! I wasn’t trying to lie to you! I just didn’t want to bring it up until things were more concrete.”

“But you did lie! You’ve known about this since high school and you never told me! I saw that recruiter at our games in high school. Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why?!” The last words rip through Hinata’s throat as he screams. 

“I don’t know! I just didn’t want to tell you when I wasn’t sure! I thought there was still a chance we could join the same team together.” Kageyama says.

“Well you fucked that up! You fuck everything up just like you did in high school!”

“Me? How the fuck did I mess anything up in high school? I already told you, I wasn’t sure I would get on the team. They gave me a temporary contract that depended on if we made it to nationals and we didn’t!” Kageyama yells. 

“Because you’re only ever worried about yourself! You never considered how I would feel about this. We’re supposed to be partners and come to find out, you think nothing of me! If I got that kind of offer, I would never lie to you about it. You’re so fucking childish!” Hinata shouts. 

Kageyama jerks back, but feels anger fill him. 

“Okay, so I lied! I’m sorry and I should’ve told you, I was just trying to save our dream of going pro together. I fucked up, but don’t fucking call me childish.”

“What the fuck else am I supposed to say? All you do is lie to me! It’s childish and you’re a coward!” Hinata says and steps forward.

Kageyama steps forward in anger. “Me? Childish? You’re the one that’s childish! You randomly throw a tantrum one day and suddenly stopped talking to me without an explanation! Maybe I would’ve told you sooner if you didn’t cut me off!” Kageyama shouts and balls his fists by his sides. 

“Fuck you. I had my reasons for cutting you off. Maybe you should’ve just left after high school like you wanted to.” Hinata says and glares at him. Kageyama glares back.

“Maybe I would’ve if you didn’t drag me out in the middle of the night and fuck up my shoulder.” Kageyama says spitefully. 

“Are you fucking serious? You’re blaming me for that? It’s your fault you fell, don’t pin it on me.”

“Well it was your damn idea and if you didn’t force me to go, we could’ve gone to nationals and I’d be gone like you wanted!” Kageyama has no idea why he’s saying any of this right now. He knows he’s in the wrong, but all of his feelings are bubbling to the surface. He’s still hurt by Hinata’s sudden betrayal after all this time. He’s also drunk and everything feels overwhelming. He can’t help but lash out. 

“Well, we didn’t make it to nationals and now we’re here. You decided to go to Kyoto and I came to this college because of you, thinking we could play together and now you’re leaving. It makes me wonder though, how did I get on this team?” Hinata asks. Kageyama’s eyes widen in surprise. He had no idea Hinata actually came to Kyoto because of him. 

“What? What do you mean? You applied like everyone else, dumbass.” Kageyama says in confusion. 

“Yeah, I did, but I don’t think that’s all of it. Tell me, Kageyama, did you bribe our coach so I could get on the team?”

“Bribe? What the fuck? No, I didn’t bribe him!” Kageyama yells. 

“So, how did I get in?” 

“I don’t fucking know! I don’t get to decide who gets in or not.”

“Right. So, you’re saying you had nothing to do with my spot on the team?” Hinata asks. 

“No.” Kageyama says clearly. 

“You didn’t do anything at all then?” Hinata says. 

“No. I didn’t-“ Kageyama stops mid sentence. He suddenly remembers the phone call he made to coach Niigata. 

“What was that?” Hinata asks.

“I.. I didn’t bribe him. I just told him you’d make a great fit for the team and we work well together. I just told him to consider your potential. That’s it.” Kageyama says. 

“I don’t know if I believe that.” Hinata says cooly.

“I’m telling the truth! I didn’t bribe him! I don’t even have the money or authority to do something like that! All I did was call him! I was just trying to save our dream because I knew that’s what you wanted. You kept talking about going pro together and I didn’t want to lose you. So, I just asked him to think about it and he made the decision himself. Why don’t you believe me?”

“Why? Because you’re hiding all of these secrets from me. I trusted you and you lied about the Adlers, you lied about Akaashi, you lied about getting me on the team. How am I supposed to trust anything you say?” Hinata says and throws his hands up. “I thought we were friends, but you’ve always looked down on me. I used to think we were rivals, that we’d reach the top together, but you obviously don’t think I’m even good enough for that.” Hinata says and looks at him with a cold stare. 

“That’s not true! You are good enough! Why else would I compete with you or tell the coach about you? I was worried about where you would end up if I left. I still am even now. I don’t want to leave, but my parents would never let me drop this deal. I have to take it. I still want to go pro with you eventually. We can still do that. I’m just going ahead for now. I was just trying to help.”

“Well I never asked for your help!” Hinata shouts. Kageyama snaps his mouth shut and stares at him in silence. “If you’re gonna leave, then just fucking leave.” 

Kageyama’s heart hurts. He’s suddenly realizing that this is all finally happening. Hinata is slipping through his grasp. 

“I’m not leaving yet. I don’t want to leave you. You’re right, okay? We’re partners. We can figure something out. I can talk to my coach at the Adlers. We can still go pro together like we want-“ Kageyama says to try to reason with him. 

“No! Stop! You’re doing it again! Do you think I’m that fucking weak that I would just take some handout from your coach? Is that what you think of me? Do you think that’s all I want? Just to follow you around without earning anything for myself? I don’t want your-.. your fucking pity or your help. Holy shit.” Hinata says in anger. 

Kageyama groans. This is wrong. Everything is wrong and all of it is building up on itself. This is not what he wanted to happen. He’s fucking everything up and he doesn’t know what to do. 

“No, it’s not like that. I’m not trying to pity you. You’re strong, Hinata. People may not see that, but I do. I always believed in you and that’s why I wanted you to be with me here and with the Adlers. If you just let me-“

“No!” Hinata yells and clenches his fist. “Don’t. I don’t care if they beg me to be on the team because I won’t be here. You don’t have to worry about me because I’m leaving too.”

“W-What?” Kageyama says in shock. 

“I said I’m leaving and I’m actually happy you’re gonna be gone. That way, you can’t dictate my life anymore. I’m gonna go pro.” Hinata says and looks away.

”I wasn’t trying to-“ Kageyama tries to say.

“Until then, I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Kageyama tries to interrupt but Hinata continues. His vision blurs and he feels tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t want to be near you. I don’t want to be friends. I’m done.” Hinata says. His face is completely blank and his voice is devoid of any emotion. He stares at Kageyama like he’s seeing straight past him. 

_No, no, no_. This is exactly what he was trying to prevent from the beginning. Kageyama feels his heart break. He steps forward and tries to grab Hinata’s hand. Hinata pulls away from him and looks at him in disgust. 

“Wait, Hinata. P-please. I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have treated you like you needed my help.” Kageyama rushes out. His voice breaks. He’s practically begging at this point. “I  did all of it for you, but you don’t need it. I know that now. I made a mistake. Let me fix this, okay? Whatever you choose to do, please don’t cut me out of your life.  Please. I n-need you. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.” Kageyama babbles through his tears. Hinata stares back at him and he sees tears forming in his too. He hates seeing Hinata cry. He never meant for it to be like this. _How did this happen?_

“Just wait and watch.” Hinata says with finality. 

“No! Hinata, please! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” Kageyama collapses onto the dirt and grabs at Hinata’s hand. He tightly wraps his hand around his. Kageyama feels so desperate to get him to look at him with light in his eyes again. He’s never seen Hinata look at him like this and it hurts. Everything hurts. It tears at his heart and a sob escapes from his throat. He sniffles and feels snot drip from his nose. “D-Don’t leave me, please.” Kageyama whispers. 

“You left me first,” Hinata whispers back. 

Kageyama chokes on his sob and tightens his grip as Hinata tries to pull away. 

“Hinata.” Kageyama says through his tears. “Please.”

Hinata doesn’t respond and just looks down at him with a sad look in his eyes. 

“You’re my best friend. The person I know would never turn and leave me behind.” Kageyama says and hiccups. “I would never leave you behind.” Kageyama whispers. He can’t lose him. He just got him back. 

“Maybe you don’t know me then. I don’t know you either,” Hinata whispers and yanks his arm away. Kageyama grabs at him again as Hinata pulls back. His hand catches on his wrist. Hinata’s bracelet snaps and beads scatter on the ground. “Let’s never meet again.” Hinata whispers. 

Kageyama feels his heart pounding and screaming in his chest. He watches as Hinata turns and walks away. His mind is screaming for Hinata to come back, for him to stay by his side. He can’t leave him, not like this. _I love you, I love you! Say it, say it, say it!_

The words never come. Kageyama can barely breath. A whimper escapes from his mouth and he falls forward on his hands and knees, scrambling to pick up the beads and string. His hands tremble, searching furiously all over the ground for the tiny pieces of him that are left. Kageyama is sobbing and his vision blurs together. He can barely see the ground in front of him. It feels like his heart is tearing out of his chest. He feels his chest heave with a sob as he hyperventilates and tears roll down his cheeks.

He knew it was coming, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. The truth seeps out like droplets of rain that turn into a downpour. The perfect storm that shatters his heart. 

_ Hinata.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh this was torture for me. my poor boys. ugh i’m sorry ik hinata is being harsh but this shit hurts and it had to happen eventually. i apologize for taking so long to update. college has been so hard for me this semester and this chapter was particularly difficult. everything was building up to this point and i just wanted to make sure that shit hit. pls don’t hate me i luv you guys. ugh i’m sorry. leave your thoughts though. i love my angst and that’s what we’re all here for. - daisy


End file.
